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WoW SongWatch: Rapwing Lair, the best song ever made

On this, the last day before Burning Crusade, I feel the need to share with you the best piece of WoW media I've ever seen. Better than Leeroy Jenkins, better than 50 DKP MINUS, better even than Subudai ... I present Rapwing Lair, done by Shaunconnery of Advent on the Tichondrius server. To listen to the two parts of the song, click the purple buttons next to "Rapwing Lair Part 1" and "Part 2" on the right side of the screen.

Shaunconnery's explanation and lyrics follow behind the cut, but you really have to listen to appreciate the true genius of Tichondrius.

"3 months ago, I started a rhyme project titled "Rapwing Lair" which was a rhythmic story of how to do every boss in BWL. It was really just a joke at first, but it evolved into a multitude of styles, impersonations, humor, and rap narration. A bunch of people said I couldn't flow from earlier raps that I've posted, but Rapwing Lair is like a potluck of Rap Genres all over America. Hopefully, you'll find the style that fits with you. I impersonate old/new/westcoast/south/eastcoast/midwest to give "dynamicity" to a rhyme representation of what used to be Blizzard's most dynamic instance. We can all recall learning BWL for our first times around, and I hoped to pay tribute with this song. I enjoyed writing, making, and recording this song from start to finish and I hope you guys enjoy the time I put into it as well. After posting this on Tich for a few days, I'm going to re-edit the song to be less Tichondrius-oriented and less personal so I can submit it to Community Watch and hopefully have Blizzard put all of us and this song on the map. Enjoy guys! I know I did." - Shaunconnery

Introduction: Alright men, we've done it. We've beaten Ragnaros, and now we stand at the doorstep of Blackwing Lair. Does any man have any idea how to do this instance? None, whatsoever? (What about you Shaun Connery, do you know?) Well then, shall I lead the charge? It's time to call on my masterful techniques of rhythmic explanation, also known as Hip Hop.

Tichondrius Server Operational, Commence Rapwing Lair."

Rapwing Lair
Razorgore (Underground Hardcore)
Blackwing Lair, zoned in as we phased through
40-man crew, with 8 classes in the raid group
So we know whats in store, MT controllin the orb
Breaking the eggs to bring him out to phase 2
Lets get it happenin, Hunters kitin dragonkin
Running up and jumping down ramps for the fake route
With the last egg down, Razorgore gonna break through
The MC, MT settin the pace to
DPS him down, Line of sight the fireballs
Stay behind in spite before it bakes you
So Off-Tank, stand at your 90-degree angle
So when he breaths, it doesnt conflagrate you
Slow and steady, Razorgore givin his paid dues
Tier 2 bracers from his grave loot
Then we line up, 40-man raid group
To move to Vaels room, BWL Take 2

Vaelastrasz the Corrupt - (Midwest Story-Telling)
Now hold up hold up, Im rememberin
We need to kill some goblins for looting elementium
Odd groups to the left, even groups to the right
Attack the goblin mobs, dont lose them in sight
Aight, Good Job, with a standing ovation
Now line up on Vaels right in battle formation
Tank 1s in front of the big 3
Tank 4s got an FR of 315
Vaelastrasz making one hell of a big scene
Hes 30% life, do you wonder what this means?
Everyone ready? Lemme do a head count
Aight, start the encounter, essence of the red now
Tank 1 in line gotta agro manage
A healer for every class, theres no bandage
Tank 1 BA, max out on the low damage
Ok everyone stop, Rogues Vanish
Hunters feign, lemme see the priests fade
Cant no one OT when we move to each phase
Tank 1s dead, tank 2 face him to the east
Tank 2 watch where you placing the beast
20% and hes getting hostile
Mage BA, so move to the tail and start throwin out frost bolts
Vaelastrasz gives out some of the better loot
So Warrior DPS it, lets see some executes
45 seconds, somebody check the time
Tank 2 BA, tank 3 youre next in line
Tank down, tank 3 make him turn around
Aight hes got aggro, everybody burn him down
Ah geez, stop having a laugh
Paladins keep your groups up! Stop casting the hammers of wrath!
Vael down, we all here did well
Now we can loot the body for our tier 2 belts
Aight everybody line up, matta fact
Our next agenda is the next 2 death talon packs

Broodlord Lashlayer - (Tupac Shakur Impersonation)
Aight MT you ready? Lets get this thang started

Aight now MT move to the middle, it aint a riddle
Son, you gotta get the hatcher situated and settled
Uh, Need that AoE on the whelps too
Mages do it, Paladin bops are finna help you
Once every pack is down, move to the corner
Quiet on ventrilo son, we need order
Nobody can die, healers take it personal
Aight we done here, take it out the first floor
Lets move to the second, we be wrecking
Warrior sweeping strikes and blade flurries with weapons uh
Move in and counterspell the healing prayer
Gather your lifesavers, its Broodlord Lashlayer
Now we at the corner before him, priests get out forts and
Shield after mortal strike, thats important
Warriors charge him, you got heals, no stressin
Rogues heres your lesson, get on the suppression
AoE Knockback, aint no way to stop that
Broodlord on a new tank, Druids get them HoTs back
Mages and locks, youre the cloth pack
The tanks at 30%, lemme get a healer to top that
Do what the raid leader says
If we get a warrior down, we need a druid wit a battle rez
I pulled aggro, looking like he wants to kill me
I'll move to the tanks so some of y'all betta heal me
Broodlord at 5 percent, pierce him through
With everything you got for our tier 2 boots
and DPS zerg him, and hes at dead rest
Random 1000 if you need him for yo head quest
Everyone line up
We finna clear the trash mobs in front of Firemaw before the times up

Firemaw - (Dirty South - West Coast)
MT, best be holdin' still
gripping tight with a sword and shield, gotta keep it real, 9K AC with the plated steel
gonna roll with Firemaw, how we gonna keep the fire off?
the first warrior gonna need more than 315 FR
Now listen here dude, priests gonna heal you
and after shadow flame, priests gon shield you
Now I'mma say it plenty times up in plenty rhymes
That Fire Buffet stacks up way up over twenty times
Name of the game is LOS, if you hit, call an SOS
Here's the test for Firemaw, y'all gotta be the best of the best
MT's in the corner, step up to the border
so you don't get hit by the fire buffet, keep that order
and go slower, on the dps so you don't pull
and let me take a dura hit to make myself po'er
let's get it on tonight, and stay organized
when firemaw's beginning to cast wing buffet, then y'all taunt him right
Offtanks get on Firemaw, cuz he deaggroes
Now give him back to the main tank, I'm calling "DPS GO!"
Let's make it happen, push to the front and y'all start casting
But remember to move to the back when the fire buffet begins to stack 10
We right in the action, He's at 5% let's drop this dragon
And no homeboy, killing Firemaw does not increase faction
Finishing blow, now we gon hear wassup
Somebody link the loot, let's see them tier 2 gloves
Done with that boss, y'all be like "that's all?"
Nah dawg, now we finna clear some trash mobs

Trash Mob Packs - (East Coast - New School)
Aight y'all cats in da raid group, y'all need to be with me
And every warrior to the front, ready to assist me
We ain't gonna stop till every boss in this place is gone
So everyone take a breath, and put yo game faces on
MT 1, 2 you're both on a warlock
We'll DPS those first, assist using the fourth box
I want a Hunter in the front that's armed with a full clip
5,4,3,2,1, alright pull it
MT 3, 5 you're on spellbinders, here's the reminder
for MT 6, your mission is technicians
The orc locks gotta die first, their AoE is savage
Enraged Felguards, gimme a banish
So keep the dps fast, and the heals competent
Melee on Spellbinders, the rest ta kill goblins
There's an overseer that's still wobblin
So let's dps him down, and now the real problem is
Not enough MT healing, throw a shield on to them
Kill the last technician, and now I feel confident
We can move on to the packs of wyrmguards
Y'all need to keep in mind that each one of these things hurt hard
Clearing this trash can take close to one hour
So we need a off tank that's ready for bronze power
Another backup for green, get up a network
of healing for the tanks, and we're dropping the red first
Once the wyrmguards are down, it's all rinse and repeat
Ebonroc and Flamegor gon be seeing defeat...

Ebonroc (Underground Hardcore)

Check, Check, Check.

Raid Group with 20 killers, armed with 20 healers
Locked down with a strategy that's proven to be plenty iller
So get them buffs out, hunters with them guns out
MT run down, and put him between any pillars
Yeah I'm talking about that Drake Ebonroc, dawg
Don't make me scream at you until I got lock jaw
I ain't got a repair bot y'all, so drop yours
Everyone repair, no excuses because you're not poor
We must use warriors plated from the knees up
to please taunt every single shadow debuff
In WoW, we trust, Ebonroc will drop some neat stuff
to suck all of your DKP up
So MT, put your back to the wall
Before he puts a crack in your jaw, when wing buffet happens you need to be fast with the call
Everyone who's playing bad with a flaw
Your occupation is slaying dragons and all, not practicing law
So be professional, this boss is the biggest of jokes
And the strategy's fine, we ain't gonna fix what ain't broke
Ebonroc is easy but before you think it's a hoax
there's a rogue down, why? he ain't wearin' his Onyxia cloak
So keep the Mortal Strike on him
Warriors might taunt him? Nah, do it right before I make it my problem
5 percent, dps til he's reduced to nada
Loot the gold, that's enough to buy you out some gucci prada
There's a mage afk, so I'm gonna boot him outta
the raid to go to Flamegor, a.k.a. The Loot Pinata

Flamegor - (Snoop Dogg Impersonation)
now when we step in the corner, it's real breezy
Blizzard made Flamegor to be too easy
We need a pally that can stay ooc
so he can rez shaun dogg
every dps in for the onslaught
I'mma just watch cuz I'm a pimp, call me Shaun Dogg
Tanks gotta taunt the wing buffet
Then we can get ourselves a chicken wing buffet
Or is it wing buffet, put the plates away
cuz y'all smooth cats can't be afk
and y'all zoom out, this ain't a fps
Need the dps with the hps
y'all healing cats, check the LoS
So use that LoH, and the NS
if the main dude starts droppin' HP
Top him off using all up that MP
single target damage, no AoE
just instant attacks and some DoT's
you can front like a balla in RP
Or PvP to PvE
But y'all cats need to listen up tho
Cuz if you be pullin' a g g r o
run to flamegor, or it won't be funny
Gotta take him down so we can make that money
So y'all hunter cats, bust a tranq cap
Loot that gold to make the guild bank phat
celebrate, like what the hell
pass that bread and the roasted quail
we ain't sippin on the gin n juice y'all
naw, we sippin' on da thunderbrew dawg

yayuh, that's how a pimp do it...

Chromaggus - (Jurassic 5 Impersonation)

This one's a big dog, have you heard of him man?
I heard you gotta tank him facing down the circular ramp
He looks nasty, make you blow a turd in your pants
But we gotta down Chromaggus, cuz we yearn to advance
I'm a knight like Lancelot, exotic like Bangkok
sword and shield armed, with a rifle that's hand-cocked
So before this damn dog chews through me like ham hocks
Every hunter gotta shoot him with tranq shots
Hold the DPS, wait for first breath
Healers LoS me when I take the first step
Incinerate, but it ain't gonna hurt yet
Wait for next breath, then we'll pass the verdict
Perfect, it's frost breath, DPS in
Run in, Run out, repeat it again
I'm bleeding my friend, please make the healing ascend
Watch the seconds rogues, y'all best be leaving at 10
If you die, don't run, you'll encounter a locked door
Just sit tight and play around with a mock sword
Druids pass the innervates if you got more
mana, then you need to be decursing the top floor
Do it clean with the encores
and our repair bill gon be cheaper than a Counterstrike awp !@!#&
Chromaggus down, someone check if he dropped hoards
of loot that would make every one of us flock towards
Take the gold, stash that in the sock drawer
Pull my broadsword blacksmithed from a hot forge
Nefarian is the number one boss for
This instance, and we're making the top score

Hook:
He's C, H, R, O, M, A, double G, U, S
You gotta be the best ever yet
If you want to beat him, you're gonna catch wreck
Put on a kevlar vest, this dog will set you to the test

Nefarian - (NYC Gangsta-ish)

Readied up in front of Nefarius with a Big Crew
40 main raid turned into split groups
20-man part moved into tight form
Warriors plugging up left and right doors
Locks set up blood pact, all because that
We need the buff, hunters move, set up frost traps
Lemme lay down some ground rules, keep your eyes glued
Even heal the even, Odd heal the odd groups
Ready up the swords, shields, staves, and guns y'all
Nefarius said the game has begun y'all
Y'all dps follow this system
Each side has a main rogue, just assist him
Popping off shots with an automatic burst
Colors 2nd, we finna dead chromatics first
If it's green, no problem
If it's blue, every single caster move away from the bottom
If it's bronze y'all, that's just a joke too
Intercept that, a chromatic just broke through
Don't get too cozy, yo matta fact
Paladins turn on FR, for red and black
MT get ready for the take down
How many drakonids dead? 38 count
Nefarian lands, here we go to phase 2
MT back to the wall, you betta have him face you
Finish both gates off or we might die
When we done, casters stack on the right side
Cut him down, buckin' shots till you're empty
Dwarf Priests, fear ward on the mt
Everyone stand by for the class call
Paladin phase, dps take your hands off
Let it run out, druids get them hots up
Priests if you heal during your call, you'll get locked up
You'll put the wrong dots up, Sit in the back row
Hunter class call, use deequip macros
DPS go, drop him real fast
make him feel that, buckin' shots from mah steel gat
Druid class call got us on the reverse
I'mma say 3 words, mages please decurse
Warrior call, don't make start me cursin' man
Every overheal now, MT's in berserker stance
Mage call got me nervous with a tense grip
Every healer in the raid group gotta cleanse it
druids gotta mend swift, when the tank's hurtin
Rogue Class Call, MT gotta turn him
Swerve him, Hurt him, now and it's payday
Warlock Call, drop infernals with the melee
20% percent health, Nef will take a clean death
Zerg incoming, caster stack gotta reset
Every warrior gotta keep it real y'all
Stand with the caster stack, keep the spread real small
Challenging Shout the zerg with a Shield Wall
Cuz they'll run to the stack from the heals y'all
Zerg over, spam with an execute
Damn don't forget it dude, hand in the better loot
Hang Nef in Stormwind when we run out
BWL Clear, the instance is done now

Filed under: Realm News, Instances, Humor, Raiding

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