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Countdown to Burning Crusade: Lyrics contest runners-up

At long last, we are pleased to announce the winners of the Countdown to Burning Crusade lyrics contest. The grand prize winner will be announced shortly, so stay tuned -- the second place award and a Green Linen t-shirt are going to Clinton Wolf for The Holiday Forum Song, aka The First LOL, sung to "The First Noel." The lyrics continue after the jump, so click on to check out the whole piece, as well as the lyrics from several excellent honorable mentions. Thanks huge to everyone who sent in lyrics -- you made it a tough contest to judge!

The Holiday Forum Song, aka The First LOL

The first LOL
On the forums did say,
"U should stop your QQing and just lrn2play
If u lrn2play
Then u won't stay a sheep
As that POM Pyroblast makes your eyes weep.
LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL
Best lrn2play or you'll stay in nub hell."

The OP logged on,
And he saw the flame
From that level 1 forum alt trolling for game
And to his great shame,
He swallowed the bait
And there was no rogue needed to Seal this Fate.
"LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL
Post on ur main if u think ur so swell!"

So they took the dead horse,
And they beat it again,
Someone posted a man holding forehead in pain
There were calls for Picard,
And demand for a Blue
It was all sound and fury and lazerzPEWPEW.
LOL, LOL, LOL, LOLz!!!1
GTFO while you still have brain cells.

Why does it always occur?
Are people just jerks?
Are they bored in mom's basement, or just bored at work?
But the worst part of all
Is a laugh no one hears
And is used not for mirth but for mocking your peers
LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL
Cursed be they who first typed LOL.

Honorable mentions

Gnomish Mage, to the tune of The Beatles' Yesterday
-- by Richard Boyda, aka hupsohl

Gnomish Mage,
Try so hard to blend in with the raid,
But your height just makes you seem to fade
in with debris, oh Gnomish Mage.

Expectedly,
Running hard to keep up, little Gnomey,
You lag behind so far you're hard to see,
Those lucky respawns, will have a feast.

Where's our
Sheep machine? I don't know, he's missing again.
We need
To Poly this, now we need our Gnomish Mage.

Gnomish Mage,
Running in to AoE in the fray
Without a healer is just not the way,
Oh that's just silly, our Gnomish Mage.

Where's our
Sheep machine? I know now, he's dead again.
We need
To Poly this, now we need our Gnomish Mage.

Gnomish Mage,
Here's a dragon that just wants to play,
We'll go hide while you run in and say,
"Oh, here I am, I'm a Gnomish Mage."

"Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm."*

*Said the dragon


It's all about the craftin' now, to the tune of Weird Al Yankovic's "It's all about the Pentiums"
-- by James Kentner, aka Rothoscand on Zul'Jin

It's all about the Craftin' now, baby
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
It's all about the Craftin' now, baby
It's all about the Craftin' now, baby
It's all about the Craftin' Now! (It's all about the Craftin' Now)
It's all about the Craftin' Now! (It's all about the Craftin' Now)
Yeah

What y'a wanna do?
Wanna be Taurens? Paladins? Shamans?
Wastin' time with all the Barrens Chat yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Ironforge man?
Workin' in a guild with a dumb little slogan?
Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad Oxy skills
Killin' up the Gulch for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never lose to trolls and I don't send spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of the Crusade
I'm down with the Blizz, I call them "Money" for short
I phone em up at home and I make them do my tech support
It's all about the Craftin' now, what?
You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen
You've got cloth on your level nineteen
You think your hunter is really neato
That's the name for your pet there, Dorito?
You're usin' a 2 hand? Don't make me laugh
Your dps is measured in what, a day and a half?
I could kill your whole guild with a floppy diskette
You're the biggest joke on the Internet
Your weapon choice is a disaster
You're addin' a weightstone, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' off your parents' 'count
Drooling over epic purple mounts
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead LFG-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Hogger
You're just about as useless as plate boots to a mornin' jogger.

It's all about the Craftin' Now, Yeah! (It's all about the Craftin'
Now, baby)
It's all about the Craftin' Now, Yeah! (It's all about the Craftin'
Now, baby)
It's all about the Craftin' Now, Yeah! (It's all about the Craftin'
Now, baby)
It's all about the Craftin' Now, Yeah! (It's all about the Craftin'
Now, baby)

What ya wanna do?
Wanna be Taurens? Paladins? Shamans
Wastin' time with all the Barrens Chat yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Ironforge man?

Uh, uh, loggin' in now
Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule Azeroth and smack elites like I do?
They call me the king of the gnomes
Runnin' with the dwarves my homes
My new armor got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I vendored the slot
You say you've had your weapon for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique
Your talent build's a month old? Well that's fine
If you wanna be smacked at p-v-p time
My tactics are trade-protected
Every buff inspected, no deaths detected
I beta tested every patch on every system
Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em
While your account is crashin', mine's multitaskin'
It does all my auctions without me even askin'
Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide
I believe that your says "Etch-A-Sketch" on the side
In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user
You've got your own channel, "alt.total-loser"
Your eyes bug out when you see a night elf's rack
Where'd you get your toon's name, from a box of Apple Jacks?
Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you
What? What? What? What? What?

It's all about the Craftin' Now, Yeah! (It's all about the Craftin'
Now, baby)
It's all about the Craftin' Now, Yeah! (It's all about the Craftin'
Now, baby)
It's all about the Craftin' Now, Yeah! (It's all about the Craftin'
Now, baby)
It's all about the Craftin' Now, Yeah! (It's all about the Craftin'
Now, baby)
What ya wanna do?
Wanna be Taurens? Paladins? Shamans?
Wastin' time with all the Barrens Chat yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Ironforge man?
What?


Let's go Kite a Drakk! sung to the tune of "Let's go Fly a Kite" from Mary Poppins
-- by Sky Corbelli, aka Bother, lvl 58 gnome mage, and Bother, lvl 60 troll hunter

They're all typing in LFG
Need a hunter for Drakk you see
So get your cheetah on and get ready to run
Then make the first attack
On that General Drakk

Oooohhhhh, ooohhhh, ooooohhhh
Let's go kite a Drakk!
Until they want him back!
Let's go kite a Drakk!
Into the Beast's room
Up in Blackrock Spire
You just can't get any higher!
Oh let's go kite a Drakk!

When you're kiting Drakk around here
All at once, it's conflag you fear
If he hits you with this then your raid will be pissed
And you may have a wipe
On the Drakkisath fight.

Oooohhhhh, ooohhhh, ooooohhhh
Let's go kite a Drakk!
Until they want him back!
Let's go kite a Drakk!
Into the Beast's room
Up in Blackrock Spire
You just can't get any higher!
Oohh let's go kite a Drakk!

Filed under: Contests, Humor, The Burning Crusade

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