Today, on Not Getting the Joke theater
An ordinary person, upon seeing a guy named "Griftah" selling "Amazing Amulets" in the Lower City of Shattrathfor very high prices, may think twice before buying the amulets. But Gazzle is no ordinary gnome. He spent 25 gold on the "Polished Pendant of Edible Energy" -- whose tooltip states "Focusing one's metabolism, this pendant allows the wearer to draw great energy from ordinary food and drink -- even heal wounds!" Upon equipping it and conjuring up some food and water, he discovered that he wasn't regening health and mana any faster. Disillusioned, he posted a "Shame on you, Blizzard" message on the WoW General forums and went off to try ... the other amulet he purchased.
A round of mocking follows in which a ton of people point out that the amulet does exactly what the tooltip says it does, and it's not the amulet's fault if the health and mana would regenerate anyway. It's kind of like purchasing a "Talisman of Protection from Crocodile Attacks" if you live in Minnesota -- hey, it must be working, because I haven't been attacked by crocodiles! Along those lines, Griftah also sells an "Infallible Tikbalang Ward," which protects you from Tikbalang attacks.
I agree with Tseric -- let the buyer beware on these items. Or, as another poster states, "I prefer to think of it as a stupid tax."
According to Allakhazam, Griftah also sells:
- A Talisman of True Treasure Tracking, which allows you to get loot from mobs, for 35g.
- A Compassionate Critter's Friend, which keeps you from being attacked by the bunnies, cats, and other vicious Level 1 critters roaming the world, for 20g.
- A Stone of Stupendous Springing Strides, which lets you jump, for 35g.
- A Marvelous Madstone of Immortality, which lets you rez after running back to your corpse, for 40g.
- A Charm of Potent and Powerful Passions, which says it will let you win your heart's desire, for 30g.
- A Shark's Tooth of Bona Fide Fluidic Mobility, which allows you to swim, for 15g.
- And finally, Soap on a Rope, which is pretty much just soap on a rope, for the bargain price of 1g.
I sort of want to get the Soap on a Rope for my guildmates. Maybe after I get a flying mount. Have you bought any of these items, or laughed at a guildmate who got swindled?
Filed under: Items, Humor, The Burning Crusade






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
toofargone Jan 24th 2007 2:05PM
lol Griftah ~= Noun 1. grifter - a person who swindles you by means of deception or fraud
spek Jan 29th 2007 4:34AM
i've seen those and didn't buy any of them ofc
but they could be good present for people you know in game and if you about the people you already play with you might see some relation:
A Talisman of True Treasure Tracking, which allows you to get loot from mobs, for 35g. - perfect for greedy guys
A Compassionate Critter's Friend, which keeps you from being attacked by the bunnies, cats, and other vicious Level 1 critters roaming the world, for 20g. - perfect for criter killers
A Stone of Stupendous Springing Strides, which lets you jump, for 35g. - perfect for compulsive jumpers
A Marvelous Madstone of Immortality, which lets you rez after running back to your corpse, for 40g. - perfect for tankers who are always yelling HEAL
and ill leave every other to your consideration
michel Jan 24th 2007 5:49PM
it was already in beta and loved him immediately :)
bless you Blizzard (and griftah ~ grifter, I didn't know :) , english is not my first language. )
Kahja Jan 24th 2007 2:25PM
Let it be known to all...
If you have your vent push to talk set to ALT and you try to link an item to try and swindle your friends... you end up with said item in your bag.
So after I sold my amulet back I was only down 30g. But I learned a lesson =)
Niekon Jan 24th 2007 2:29PM
oh this is priceless... I think we need to go out and buy that Soap on a Rope for those who leveled up to 70 withing a couple of days... they'll definitely need it. ^_~
Blinkhamster Jan 24th 2007 2:40PM
I wonder if he also bought volcano insurance.
Apexs-Uldum Jan 24th 2007 2:55PM
What that you say Blinkhamster that my volcano insurance i bought is no good ??? thats the last time i buy from a guy that sells bridges and insurance
Kataine Jan 24th 2007 3:02PM
Yep.. that would be my guildmaster for you.... just don't ask about the frying pans....
Kompost Jan 24th 2007 4:41PM
The post on the General Forum is classic. It's up to 10 pages now. This reminds me of that one episode of Dinosaurs where the father (Earl) buys asteroid insurance. When his television is struck by a falling rock from the sky, the appraiser comes out to estimate the damage. However, an asteroid becomes a meteorite when it enters the Earths atmosphere, and he didn't have meteorite insurance. Classic.
Theadrick Jan 24th 2007 5:38PM
This is too funny. In the words of P.T. Barnum: "There's a sucker born every minute"
Funnier still I see these popping up in the AH.
Classic.
Baluki Jan 24th 2007 7:09PM
Homer: Well, there's not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job.
Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, sweetie.
Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers.
Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work. It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: I see.
Lisa: But you don't see any tigers around, do you?
Homer: Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock.
Ben Jan 24th 2007 8:36PM
You mock now, but we'll see who's laughing after the Tikbalang invasion.
Arann Jan 24th 2007 9:25PM
Hah, anti-crocodile amulet... Terry Pratchett reference FTW!
RG-Rhodin Jan 25th 2007 1:50PM
A good surprise idea
I see a lot of folks running along, killing harmless snakes, toads, bunnies, squirrels etc. I'd love to see Blizz make one of these small creaters a yellow 70 elite. 20-30 man raid level. Frog-zilla. Some one could be going along, one-shotting yellow toads, then WHAM! Call yer mama and yer guild.
Have it drop one thing, but a decent, very useful non weapon thing. Also, move it around from zone to zone. No farming.
Wamphyri Jan 26th 2007 10:26AM
Hahahaha! I like the idea of making a critter level 70 Elite! A killer bunny would be cool. After your 20 - 30 man raid is successful, it drops the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch! To obtain the quest, you've to bring the NPC some . . . shrubbery!
Oli Feb 2nd 2007 7:08AM
I ahve to admit I bought the jumping amulet to see if they did anythng special. i think if they did do something it would be pretty cool!
And just so you know, there is a quest where you have to bring... a Shrubbery!