Religion in Azeroth: Why God is Alliance
by Ryan Carter 
Jun 26th 2007 at 7:25PM
We got into a guild discussion the other day somehow about whether God is Horde or Alliance. There is never any rhyme of reason to why you discuss such things, but how about it? What do you think about the off-the-wall subject?I personally think God is Alliance, because in the Bible it says God pwns the cows on a thousand hillsides (Psalm 50:9-11). If God pwns the cows (read: Tauren) on a thousand hills and all the animals in the forest (read: Horde), he is clearly Alliance and has pwned all of Elwynn too, doesn't it sound like it?
No offense to the Horde, but I think this is definitive proof that God is Alliance, not that this makes you evil at all, just not on God's side. If you disagree, or can find evidence to the contrary, I'd love to hear it. Oh, and if you're wondering, I am Alliance too. A question for next time, which class would God play?
NOTE: I also have Horde characters (Tauren in fact) which I play and like very much, so I am obviously kidding here. This is for the benefit of those of you who never got the EPIC drop of [A Sense of Humor]. Cheers!
Filed under: Tauren, Analysis / Opinion, Humor, Factions
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
someone Jun 26th 2007 7:32PM
This is the stupidest shit ive ever read, grats on killing my brain cells.
blitz1988 Jun 26th 2007 7:33PM
God doesn't exist. Paladins and priests are as stupid as bishops.
Sockninja Jun 28th 2007 1:04AM
i thought god was a lvl ?? giant crytal thing in the Exodar...
theRaptor Jun 26th 2007 7:43PM
Yeah....
See, things that are funny in guild chat aren't always that funny when you repeat them later to other people.
Combatc87 Jun 26th 2007 7:46PM
God would be a Paladin, or rather, god would be THE Paladin.
Nibuca Jun 26th 2007 7:48PM
God is a Na'aru and is by definition neutral.
"...is the way, the truth and the -light-"
Bennett Jun 27th 2007 5:11AM
Lol, i thought my gm was god. I mean, that is his ranking....
Chris 4tee4 Jun 26th 2007 7:57PM
Better watch out, Elizabeth might come in this thread and berate us for using the "G" word too.
Galipan Jun 26th 2007 8:08PM
lol, nice...dont listen to people Ryan, i liked it..everyone who flames..youre no better than any other flamer, if you dont like the article, dont read it and move on, some of us like to read meaningless stuff thats just for fun
Chris M Jun 26th 2007 8:08PM
Wouldn't God be a Priest before he'd be a Pally?
I'm a staunch Atheist, but this is just my 2c.
Chris
Mats Jun 26th 2007 8:13PM
Im sure God is more like the Burning Legion, youknow, forcing people to do it there way, or else he will smite them.
yea.. Burning legion gets my vote.
Arras Jun 26th 2007 8:54PM
Keep your religion out of my game, choir-boy
Joyd Jun 26th 2007 8:37PM
For anyone who's interested, WoWWiki has some interesting articles on the role of religion in Azeroth in lore. ("The Light" is actually a non-theistic religion.)
Luciferasi Jun 26th 2007 8:36PM
Of course God is Alliance! Why on Earth I would play Horde if He wasn't?
Matt Jun 26th 2007 8:58PM
ZOMG, you lured out all the angry atheists!
Tool Jun 26th 2007 9:01PM
If God is on the alliance why hasn't the Horde just been pwnt to death?
Iron Chariots... that's why.
"and in the barrens waste was lain because God was with the Alliance, but then the iron chariots arose and over taketh the Alliance, for iron chariots doth be Gods weakness"
ablackflame Jun 26th 2007 10:24PM
@9
nope cuz pallies are purely light (yes were gonna group ret into that). Priests can use shadow(dark?) magic...THerefore...ya u know
Timmy Jun 26th 2007 9:11PM
Lighten up, atheists...
God isn't in WoW otherwise He would have smote all the people who can't spell "rouge".
He is probably playing Eve.
Lighttech Jun 26th 2007 9:48PM
If you look at the Religious beliefs and behaviors of the people of Azeroth, if it would be safe to say that the Alliance side (namely Humans, Dwarves, and Draenei) have much in common with tenants of Judeo-Christian belief systems. I will even go as far to say that the Draenei are the Jews of Azeroth. They are a race who go through trial after trial, but in the end are delivered from annihilation by "Divine Intervention" in the form of Naruu.
Night elves and Trolls are hardest to place. They have members who servants of and the light, but they also have druidism and shamans.
World of Warcraft, like or not Atheists who troll internet blogs, have many elements derived from religious belief systems. Whether it be the Light or the clear depiction of Thrall as the Moses of the Orcs, freeing his people and creating a new nation (though Thrall was able to step into his promise land).
Boonie Jun 26th 2007 9:43PM
/sigh... it would've been nice to have a topic for people to discuss rationally and with humour... unfortunately the the reactionaries have commented first...
my 2c... Religion is integral to Warcraft lore... if you've had bad experiences in your life so be it... the fact that 'real' evidence was used to humourously prove an 'electronic' argument and some peoples inability to differentiate between them only evidences the fact that you as a 'flamer' have no interest in thinking about what we do... and are in WoW only for its escapism. As someone who has only every played Alliance in WC,WC2 and WoW (WC3 you played the story not the side, for those who've never played through the games,) I'm whole unqualified for this... however for our Horde playing friends... could someone come up with a coherent and logical rebuttal?
Discuss...
'God' is a horde player. Give evidence for your views.
AND FOR [Insert deity of choice(Atheists may use their own names for the purpose of this comment)] SAKE... please note that this is filed under humour... some of the proceeding flames might want to remember that... just because a topic exists you Don't [u]HAVE[/u] to comment on it.
[rereads post]
actually...this might be 10cents worth :)