Azeroth Interrupted: The couple that plays together, stays together
by Robin Torres 
Jul 15th 2007 at 5:01PM
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.
First of all, I would like to apologize for my lack of column last week. I may be good at balancing real life with WoW, but I have yet to master balancing anything with illness. I'm feeling a lot better now and looking forward to a WoW date with my husband, after not having played for a week.
Are you snickering now? Do you think that virtual romantic outings are unforgivably geeky? Well, if you don't think playing a video game makes you a bit of a nerd, go argue it out with Gabe. Those of us who are comfortable in our geekiness will be here when you get back. Regardless of the dork factor, sharing any hobby is a great way to keep a relationship going, particularly when the hobby is as time consuming as WoW can be.
Today, we're talking about established couples, not couples that are just starting a relationship -- WoW dating is a different topic which I will discuss in a future column. I've already talked about getting a girlfriend/wife to play WoW, so this is for couples who already both play WoW. I'm also not saying that WoW dates should replace romantic dinners and other traditional togetherness activities. But having romantic "outings" in WoW are a fun, low-cost way to supplement the other things couples do to keep things interesting. Spend your quality time together any way you like, but it's best to take care of the fundamentals to get the most out of it:
Make an Appointment: Set aside a day and time beforehand and don't be late. You both will appreciate having something to look forward to and the convenience of being able to plan around the session. Do not "play it by ear". This will make the person who is ready first feel neglected waiting for the other person to become "available".
Decide on the content when you plan the time: You don't want to waste your playtime deciding what to do. If you wait until the last minute, one of you may be in the mood to level alts, while the other may feel inclined to PvP. If you decide beforehand, you won't be subject to momentary whims and you are much less likely to ruin your together-time by arguing.
Two's company: Make it just the two of you. You want to differentiate this time from the time you spend with your other friends and the guild events you may participate in. An easy way to make sure that you don't alienate guildies and other online friends is to make characters on a separate server from your main server. This will also keep you in good standing with your guild leader if he or she expects all online guildies to participate in whatever event is currently scheduled.
Take care of in-game chores over an hour before: This is supposed to be time playing together, not time spent at the bank and the AH and checking the mail and getting your character to the appointed questing area, etc. Also, if you finish your chores an hour before your date, you don't have to worry about waiting for hearthstone timers or goodies to arrive in the mail. Which brings us to...
Send a gift! (optional): Have a gift with a cute/loving/sexy note waiting for your significant other in his/her mailbox. This is optional unless you have recently fought or one of you has really messed up. If you are the kind of guy who brought flowers and gifts to your early dates, this step is highly recommended because it will remind her of the feelings she felt when you were first finding love together. In-game gifts don't cost any real money (or shouldn't) but can mean just as much as any other hobby-related gift would. Just as your dad might appreciate a new pair of bowling shoes or a set of golf club cozies, your husband may want that alchemy recipe he has been eyeing in the AH. Personally, I cherish the Golden Dragonhawk Hatchling that my spousal unit sent me and keep a copy of the accompanying note in my crowded bank. I know the note and gift won't last any longer than my desire to keep playing WoW, but flowers and chocolates last even less time. Mmmmmm chocolate.
Following these simple steps will make the quality of your play-date similar to the quality of a traditional date. It will also help to vary your WoW play experience and keep it fresh. Next week, we will talk about a reader's success story of playing WoW with his wife (and any more good stories that I may receive hint hint) and in future columns, I will be discussing the strategies of working around different play-styles of couples.
Robin Torres juggles one level 70 Tauren Druid, multiple alts across multiple servers, two cats, one toddler, one loot-addicted husband and a yarn dependency. After years of attempting to balance MMOs with real life, Robin lightheartedly shares the wisdom gleaned from her experiences. If you would like to ask Robin's advice or if you have a story you wish to share, please email Robin.Torres AT weblogsinc DOT com for a possible future column.
First of all, I would like to apologize for my lack of column last week. I may be good at balancing real life with WoW, but I have yet to master balancing anything with illness. I'm feeling a lot better now and looking forward to a WoW date with my husband, after not having played for a week. Are you snickering now? Do you think that virtual romantic outings are unforgivably geeky? Well, if you don't think playing a video game makes you a bit of a nerd, go argue it out with Gabe. Those of us who are comfortable in our geekiness will be here when you get back. Regardless of the dork factor, sharing any hobby is a great way to keep a relationship going, particularly when the hobby is as time consuming as WoW can be.
Today, we're talking about established couples, not couples that are just starting a relationship -- WoW dating is a different topic which I will discuss in a future column. I've already talked about getting a girlfriend/wife to play WoW, so this is for couples who already both play WoW. I'm also not saying that WoW dates should replace romantic dinners and other traditional togetherness activities. But having romantic "outings" in WoW are a fun, low-cost way to supplement the other things couples do to keep things interesting. Spend your quality time together any way you like, but it's best to take care of the fundamentals to get the most out of it:
Make an Appointment: Set aside a day and time beforehand and don't be late. You both will appreciate having something to look forward to and the convenience of being able to plan around the session. Do not "play it by ear". This will make the person who is ready first feel neglected waiting for the other person to become "available".
Decide on the content when you plan the time: You don't want to waste your playtime deciding what to do. If you wait until the last minute, one of you may be in the mood to level alts, while the other may feel inclined to PvP. If you decide beforehand, you won't be subject to momentary whims and you are much less likely to ruin your together-time by arguing.
Two's company: Make it just the two of you. You want to differentiate this time from the time you spend with your other friends and the guild events you may participate in. An easy way to make sure that you don't alienate guildies and other online friends is to make characters on a separate server from your main server. This will also keep you in good standing with your guild leader if he or she expects all online guildies to participate in whatever event is currently scheduled.
Take care of in-game chores over an hour before: This is supposed to be time playing together, not time spent at the bank and the AH and checking the mail and getting your character to the appointed questing area, etc. Also, if you finish your chores an hour before your date, you don't have to worry about waiting for hearthstone timers or goodies to arrive in the mail. Which brings us to...
Send a gift! (optional): Have a gift with a cute/loving/sexy note waiting for your significant other in his/her mailbox. This is optional unless you have recently fought or one of you has really messed up. If you are the kind of guy who brought flowers and gifts to your early dates, this step is highly recommended because it will remind her of the feelings she felt when you were first finding love together. In-game gifts don't cost any real money (or shouldn't) but can mean just as much as any other hobby-related gift would. Just as your dad might appreciate a new pair of bowling shoes or a set of golf club cozies, your husband may want that alchemy recipe he has been eyeing in the AH. Personally, I cherish the Golden Dragonhawk Hatchling that my spousal unit sent me and keep a copy of the accompanying note in my crowded bank. I know the note and gift won't last any longer than my desire to keep playing WoW, but flowers and chocolates last even less time. Mmmmmm chocolate.
Following these simple steps will make the quality of your play-date similar to the quality of a traditional date. It will also help to vary your WoW play experience and keep it fresh. Next week, we will talk about a reader's success story of playing WoW with his wife (and any more good stories that I may receive hint hint) and in future columns, I will be discussing the strategies of working around different play-styles of couples.
Robin Torres juggles one level 70 Tauren Druid, multiple alts across multiple servers, two cats, one toddler, one loot-addicted husband and a yarn dependency. After years of attempting to balance MMOs with real life, Robin lightheartedly shares the wisdom gleaned from her experiences. If you would like to ask Robin's advice or if you have a story you wish to share, please email Robin.Torres AT weblogsinc DOT com for a possible future column.
Filed under: Azeroth Interrupted
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Diana Jul 15th 2007 6:28PM
My husband and I just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary and we play WOW together often as a "date night." For Valentine's Day he took me to the Wetlands and showed me the Crimson whelps and then managed to get me one as a pet after about an hour of leveling together. My friends asked me what my Valentine gift was and were really confused when I said he got me a "tiny red dragon." :)
Diana
Dan Jul 16th 2007 12:07AM
I used to play WoW with a girlfriend, but she found a lot of new boys and left me for one of them. Yeah. Couples that play together don't always stay together.
Arnold Jul 16th 2007 12:29AM
My wife and I both play together (I'm a 70 druid and she's a 69 priest). We've played a lot together and it has been a fun way for us to do something we both enjoy.
Scott Jul 16th 2007 12:48AM
My wife and I decided to start up on WoW after SWG left us without a game. We play a Mage/Hunter pair and it's honestly the most fun I ever have in-game. I have a 70 warlock and I still prefer my 65 mage since she and I spend time together exploring and adventuring in the outlands. Compared to, say, sitting and watching television or reading a book, it's more exciting and more rewarding to see your wife's gorilla pet come charging in and draw aggro off your squishy mage butt and save the day. The trick is to level with each other. Nobody likes to have their partner level ahead of them and leave them behind. While I play more than my wife, I promised that I wouldn't touch my mage unless she was logged it and it's been nothing but fun ever since.
Erica Olson Jul 16th 2007 9:09AM
My husband and I play together and have a great time. We've leveled 6 duos and try to complement each other so that we have a greater survival rate.
We even find time to do the romantic things in game. One New Year's Eve he took me to see the fireworks over Stormwind and Booty Bay.
Jasperwind Jul 16th 2007 10:59AM
My fiancé and I have been playing WoW together for a couple months. We have 3 sets of chars that we only play together. We do all of our quests together and a lot of /kiss(ing) and /hug(ing). We mail or trade each other gifts, shoot fireworks, and do other "romantic" things. I even spent several gold on her a pretty dress. We are both very satisfied playing together and it sure doesn't hurt our relationship. Now, when I talk about WoW to friends, she knows exactly what we're talking about so she doesn't feel left out. That really helps things. ;)
Rudathin Jul 16th 2007 2:21PM
Love your column, Robin. Keep up the good work.
My story goes something as follows: I have been a big Blizzard fan since Warcraft II and followed WoW's development since the beginning. When it finally came out, I had just gotten married and my wife wasn't pleased with the amount I played.
Eventually I hit 60 and ran out of things to do (not having large enough chunks of time for instances, let alone raids!), so I quit.
A year or so later, I noticed there were 10-day trials now so I decided to see what had changed since I last played. To my great surprise, my wife asked if she could play. I was more than happy to help her pick a class etc. She ended up needing two trial accounts worth of experimentation to find a class she was happy with (rogue, as it turns out).
Anyway, we've been duoing since (druid/rogue) then and enjoying every minute. I take a lot of screenshots and have started a blog of our "adventures", but it's very incomplete at this point: http://wowcouple.blogspot.com. (Excuse the RP.)
I think it's really important to exclusively dedicate characters for duoing. In most cases, one of you will have more experience than the other, in which case it's important to be patient and not ruin the experience by pure power-leveling.
Some quick thoughts: Don't forget that you can buy wrapping for gifts as long as the item is not stackable. Also, you can take advantage of a trial account and the recruit-a-friend program to lower the up-front cost: one of you invite the other to try the game via a trial account, and then when you upgrade the trial to a full account the other gets a month free. :)
Also, there are some interesting statistics from the Daedalus Project about couples, including that about 70% of males and 75% of females find playing with a romantic partner to be "very" or "extremely" enjoyable (http://www.nickyee.com/daedalus/archives/001468.php?page=6).
I actually started a "Couple's Guide to WoW" a while ago but never got around to finishing it. One of these days I'll find the time.