Breakfast Topic: Things they'll never announce at BlizzCon
by David Bowers 
Aug 3rd 2007 at 8:00AM
We've all heard rumors and speculations about what's due to be announced at BlizzCon today: a new expansion, a new class, and who knows what else. Now let's turn aside from what we think will happen and consider the infinite possibilities of what will not happen. Yes, indeedy -- today's the day we'll look into our crystal balls and talk to our Ouija boards, predicting with 100% accuracy all the things Blizzard will not announce today at BlizzCon! To get your inspiration going, I'll give you a few examples.
- New Expansion: The Search for Mankirk's Wife (in which the new area is just an expanded Barrens -- ten times larger than the original)
- New Class: Teletubby. Available races: Gnome, Blood Elf. Signature spell: "Infuriating Giggle"
- New Profession: Retail Salesmanship. Lets you set up shops and stand around all day waiting for customers. Raid bosses will drop epic brand name contracts.
Filed under: Breakfast Topics, Expansions, Humor, Classes, BlizzCon
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
jijno Aug 3rd 2007 8:19AM
new epic raid dungeon! anvilbeard'aman home of the forum trolls!
Ste Aug 3rd 2007 8:37AM
Anything Diablo related :(.
brendan Aug 3rd 2007 8:39AM
A new official WoW blog- WoWInsider!
bwest0526 Aug 3rd 2007 9:00AM
I wouldn't be too sure about that Retail salesmanship one! people already do that in IF and SW! Damn Alliance anyway! HAHA!
Steve Aug 3rd 2007 9:12AM
You all need to take a lot of pics of all the geeks in costume and post up a gallery.
bub Aug 3rd 2007 9:24AM
New Item: Orb of Cross-Dressing.
New Profession: Public Worker. Want to fix the roads around Azeroth, deliver mail to all your friends or just sit in front of a computer all day playing games on the web.
New Class: Stalker. Stalk other players around the land, sending class specific gifts, you can always find your target. Immune to ignore, you can wisper to your tarket all day long.
Just watched two episodes of criminal minds before I wrote this.
Sylythn Aug 3rd 2007 9:25AM
I'm sorry I laugh whenever I hear one WoW player call another WoW fan a geek or nerd...isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? :)
Chris Anthony Aug 3rd 2007 10:21AM
"Ladies and gentlemen, Blizzard Entertainment is proud to announce that we've met our earnings goal for World of Warcraft, and will therefore be shutting the game down at the end of the convention. No refunds. Enjoy your last few days in the exciting World of Warcraft!"
chris Aug 3rd 2007 10:52AM
Mankrik* ;)
Matthew Rossi Aug 3rd 2007 11:07AM
Ah, Chris, it may be Mankrik, but in Barrens Chat it is forever Mankirk. In your heart you know this to be true.
Milktub Aug 3rd 2007 11:47AM
I'm waiting for --
New Class: SLAVE DRIVER. Can enslave other players through a process similar to training beasts. Slave driver then receives all that players items and gold. Slaves may attempt a revolt at any time -- if Slave Driver is killed by one of his/her slaves, all slaves he owns are freed.
It'd be pretty fun, right? Trying to balance having slaves with worries of them killing you? Balancing how much to give back to your slaves to prevent revolt? To be a slave and drudge under your slave driver's whip until you and your fellow slaves ambush him in the wilds? Oh yeah ...
Rich Aug 3rd 2007 12:12PM
@7 See there are various levels of gamer geek. I explained it to my gf like this:
(from least geeky to most geeky)
-Table top RPG Players
-MMO Players
-People how have every book put out for their chosen game
-Geeks who buy figures/tshirts/etc (not books) for their favorite games
-LARP'er/People who dress up for Con's
-Slash writers
Even though she is not a gamer geek, she is a slash writer. ;)
Ghen Aug 3rd 2007 4:57PM
Wait, so table top RPGs are less geeky than MMOs? I have a few bruises from high school that would beg to differ with you.