Forum Thread of the Day: Quest text that makes you laugh
by Mike Schramm 
Aug 20th 2007 at 4:09PM
Relyndrel sets us off on a hilarious ride through Blizzard's real genius: turning something as straightforward as playing a videogame into a rich, entertaining, and sometimes even meta experience. He starts off a collection of the best quest text in the game, including the various letters, yells, and whispers that float around while doing said quests. All the best stuff is here:- Fruit vendor, do you not value your life?!
- Rend Blackhand's note to a stupid orc: "Destroy this letter, idiot!"
- Blizzard's sly reply to AV whiners
- And the terrific Digging Through Bones dialogue
Really, this game is just all about clicking buttons-- you click a button to start a quest, you click some buttons to kill things (or do some thing), and then you click another button to end a quest. But it's the flavor that Blizzard adds-- all of these weird characters, strange stories, and references to everything else we know-- that really make the experience what it is, and show off just how good Blizzard is at making clicking buttons interesting and fun.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Fan stuff, Blizzard, Quests, Humor
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Balasan Aug 20th 2007 4:25PM
My personal favourite:
http://www.wowhead.com/?quest=4063
"You know this because you are psychic" is a good one in my books, definitely.
ringu0 Aug 20th 2007 4:28PM
> Blizzard's sly reply to AV whiners
Indeed, heaps of LOL. The last thing I need is more crap to rub in my face.
st0rmy1 Aug 20th 2007 4:36PM
Easily the best quest text *ever*. I dare you to find something not only more humorous but strangely exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
http://www.wowhead.com/?quest=4283
Ahoni Aug 20th 2007 4:39PM
I always like the Area 52 Neuralyzer debuff.
"The flash of light you did not see did not erase your memories."
Tinwhisker Aug 20th 2007 4:41PM
Here's my favorite (read the PS on page 2):
http://www.wowhead.com/?item=23798
Mitch Aug 20th 2007 4:43PM
Watching the NPCs run away from the mini Mechanical Yeti gave me a few good chuckles when I did it. Also the many references they make to other games (like the Zelda reference: "The secret lies on the easternmost peninsula" or however that goes).
ThorinII Aug 21st 2007 8:33AM
It isn't quest text, heck it isn't text at all, but why do the dwarf flight masters tell you to "Keep yer feet on the ground."????????
jcgooch Aug 20th 2007 4:50PM
Not strictly quest text, but it is in the category of "flavor". I like the gnome that gets released from a cage at the end-boss in Arcatraz.
Kreetoo Aug 20th 2007 4:56PM
I've had endless laughs with some of the NPC dialogue in the game. Here are some of my favorites (in order of when I found the corresponding screenshots):
(1) Solo quest in Area 52 where you bring something back to a goblin. He does something dangerous and unwise with it, it blows up and a "Doctor" is summoned. After a bunch of talk back and forth he says "Dammit, Boots, I'm a doctor not a priest! Clear!!!"
(2) Below one of the Manaforges in Netherstorm, you encounter Agent Ya-six who gives you a mission. And he sends you off with a reflection of himself to help you out. As the reflection appears the conversation goes like this:
Reflection of Ya-six says: Look at that handsome grouping of chaotic energies!
Agent Ya-six says: Oh stop! You're going to make me turn red and then someone is going to mistake me for Ethereum and kill me.
(3) The quest text for "Ripple Recovery" and "A Sticky Situation" from The Hinterlands. For brevity, I'll just say that it ends with the quest-giver's comment, "Onward - for great booze!"
(4) From Apothecary Dithers at The Bulwark while on your quest for the Scholomance Key. Part of the quest text: "I'm an apothecary, not a banker. If I had gold lying around, I certainly wouldn't be here. ... I guess I said the quiet part out loud again. Oops."
and probably my favorite...
(5) When you complete the turn-in for the quest "Of Thistleheads and Eggs..." you give a Rotten Arakkoa Egg to Tobias the Filth Gorger in Shattrath City. When you do so, he takes it, eats it, then walks a few steps away and belches loudly. Then everyone in about a 20 yard radius starts puking green slime all over the place and this little kid named Gordie yells "It's a complete and total barf-o-rama! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" -- which is a reenactment of the pie-eating contest and barf scene from the movie "Stand By Me" Totally hilarious!
Pingmeister Aug 20th 2007 5:33PM
The mechanical thing in Badlands "One day I will be a real boy"
Juneau Aug 20th 2007 5:39PM
My personal favourite:
http://www.thottbot.com/q4286
Captain Winky tells me that the Dark Irons in the Depths got all the good stuff. Ain't that right, Winky?
ARRR MATEY! IT BE RIGHT!
See what I'm saying? You need to get in there and bring me back some samples of the good stuff.
Get in there and shake your moneymaker!
---
OH WONDERFUL!
DELICIOUS! Look at all these goodies!
Take one for yourself, . There's plenty to go around.
I know what fanny pack means over in America, but holy hell that was funny. When he "took a whiff" and yelled "DELICIOUS! Look at all these goodies!" I was completely in stitches. Also, "Get in there and shake your moneymaker!", LOL?
Corbindallas Aug 20th 2007 5:44PM
My favorite is a drop, but you commonly find it while working on the Azsharite quest in Azshara. It's the crystalized note (in two forms, no less).
Crystallized Note
http://www.wowhead.com/?search=crystallized+note
Azsharite Quest
http://www.thottbot.com/q3602
Meliv Aug 20th 2007 6:20PM
My favourite by far, just for the name
http://www.thottbot.com/q7723
Jp Aug 20th 2007 9:47PM
Everytime I get to the Plaguelands, I go up to Smoky LaRue, to see what tasks he would offer me. And I always say to myself, "That IS asking a lot..."
Birthmark Aug 20th 2007 10:31PM
The only quests that ever made me laugh were the poop quests in Nagrand.
You! Mighty Warrior of the Alliance! Who has slained countless powerful foes such as Ragnaros! Nefarian! Hakkar! Ossirian! Onyxia! The 4 green dragons spread throughout the corners of the World!
...go pick up some poop for me kthnx.
Birthmark Aug 20th 2007 10:45PM
There's been a few things in game that craked me up. The plane with snakes all over it Nagrand...
The corki quests. That damn kid is so annoying. First off his name alone makes me laugh, then I have to rescue him like 4 times. The conversations he has with the ogres are pretty leet. "mmm me hungry. Me turn Corki into poop." lolol
The starship trooper bug invasion of Toshi's station. "come one you apes! you wanna live forver!" And then they roam out mounted on their mechostriders... "rough riders! Move out!"
CountChocula Aug 21st 2007 12:35AM
I haven't been to Outland, where apparently the best ones are, but there's a quest in the Draenei starting zone with an A-Team reference.
http://www.thottbot.com/q9530
Not to mention the quest giver's name itself is kinda clever.
Entarus Aug 21st 2007 4:04AM
I love the text you get when you turn in The Phylactery of Kel'Thuzad:
http://www.wowhead.com/?item=22520
The phylactery is all that remains of the master of Naxxramas. Your better judgment dictates that you destroy the phylactery, preventing the lich from ever reforming. Thankfully, you seldom listen to that internal voice of reason.
Someone at Light's Hope will pay you hugely for this artifact. Who cares if Kel'Thuzad regenerates to full power?
itsthemechanic Aug 21st 2007 4:21AM
"It's a complete and total barf-o-rama! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/2457/barforamazd9.jpg
Also, the little children that go "Woot!" after you free them cracked me up..
Absynthe Aug 21st 2007 10:12AM
Early rogue quest line:
http://www.thottbot.com/q2608
http://www.thottbot.com/q2609
The "colleagues" he refers to include a painting and a squirrel.