Breakfast Topic: Funny Stuff
At some point in your WoW adventures, someone is sure to have sent you some of the funny items that are littered all over the game, such as the "Exotic Cookbook" (entitled "How to serve man"), and the "Broken I W.I.N. Button." Not too long ago, a friend of mine sent me one I hadn't seen before, the "Steamy Romance Novel," which really made me chuckle:As Nahni glided up, the grizzled warrior gave her a hard stare. "I suppose you're here to collect the reward for killing those murlocs?"Are there any items in this game that make you smile whenever you think of them? If you can't think of items, perhaps you know of a place or NPC? Tell us about anything you think is funny.
Her eyes wandered down to the glowing broadsword at his side. "That depends on what the reward is, Marcus." She twirled her hair playfully, pretending not to notice how he shifted uncomfortably in her presence. "I may not want it."
Marcus stepped toward her, bristling with a mixture of fear and anger. "The reward is not negotiable!" He paused for a moment while gathering his nerve, and pressed himself against her diminutive form. Their lips met hotly, melting her frost armor spell in a torrent of sweltering vapor.
"So, is there another step to this quest?" she teased, her eyes glittering with excitement.
<This goes on for several hundred more pages, without advancing the plot.>
Update: I just can't resist quoting in full some of the things that commenters have found. It's quite silly, and it really should be part of this post anyways. Click on the link to read them.
Behold, a series of diary pages found as messages in bottles (thanks RSH!):
Diary - Day 4Update #2: I have to add another one to the main post! This one is courtesy of RC_Tech. Thanks!
I have been stranded on the Island now for 4 days, left alone with my thoughts. Bananas are pretty tasty, but what a long climb to reach them. When I am not getting food or protecting myself from the periodic rain, all my thoughts are of rescue.
I would not be so hopeful if it were not for the boxes of paper and bottles that washed ashore with me. I laugh now to think of all the time I spent on that ship cursing that I was stuck with a boatload of Alchemists and Scribes.
Diary - Day 87
These months have given me time to ponder, to shuffle loose my old beliefs and bigotries. Alliance? Horde? Good? Evil? The meanings of these words, once so clear, now blur as my eyes gaze across the boundless sea.
I now know what matters. The bananas are after me.
Perched high in their tree, they eye me with cool malevolence. And the last one I tried to eat nearly gagged me! I could almost hear it scream as I smashed it, half bitten, on sea rocks.
It's war, and I will win it.
Diary - Day 512
The bananas have started talking to me and I have learned a great deal about their culture. I have ceased my senseless destruction of their homes and consumption of the young. How little I knew then of the great civilization that I was destroying.
On another topic I seem to be running low on bottles and paper. When I first looked at those huge stacks of paper that washed ashore I thought they would be inexhaustible. Woe with me, my diary must end soon.
The 1 Ring
Binds when equipped
Finger
+1 Strength
+1 Agility
+1 Stamina
+1 Intellect
+1 Spirit
Requires Level 10
"Not quite as good as the 2 Ring"
Filed under: Breakfast Topics, Humor






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Juliah Sep 2nd 2007 8:28AM
Good post! I love fluff like this, and I hadn't seen that one. Very funny! A friend of mine recently sent me sludge, which had the caption "Just sludge." :)
RSH Sep 2nd 2007 9:14AM
Absolutely, without question, the Damp Diary Pages:
http://www.wowhead.com/?item=6304
http://www.wowhead.com/?item=6305
http://www.wowhead.com/?item=6306
Scott Sep 2nd 2007 9:24AM
I always laugh at Haris Pilton http://thottbot.com/c18756
Varatil Sep 2nd 2007 10:18AM
First time I found Warden Lolol in Telaar I got a nice chuckle out of it. I think already having seen O'Reily and Yarly kind of deflated the effect.
By the time I finished my Kurenai rep grind I hated him though.
Pål Sep 2nd 2007 11:10AM
That's actually Warden Iolol, not Lolol.
Anyway, I find the item [Mace] to be somewhat funny.
Zooeyglass Sep 2nd 2007 11:19AM
I love [The Stoppable Force].
But where is [The Moveable Object]?
Enus Sep 2nd 2007 12:23PM
I think every rogue out there loves the Shiny Dinglehopper (http://www.wowhead.com/?item=5435)
Cyborg771 Sep 2nd 2007 1:14PM
Wing Commander Ichman at the fel orc camp is one of the funniest things I have seen in WoW. He endlessly complains about how his captors wouldn't shut up about the bridge to Dun Baldar and how unfair it was.
http://www.wowhead.com/?quest=11069
MechaKingGhidra Sep 2nd 2007 1:52PM
By far, the most amusing item I've ever come across is: http://www.wowhead.com/?item=6301.
Then again, fishing for items has a tendency to put me in a light enough mood to be amused by virtually anything. =)
Wildhammer Sep 2nd 2007 3:06PM
"Steamy Romance Novel" XD
It's The Lusty Argonian Maid all over again!
draeth Sep 2nd 2007 3:34PM
I was always a fan of [Father's Broomstick], its a staff shaped like a large broom for those who've never seen it. its fun to run around Orgrimmar yelling, "WTB DUST PAN! THIS PLACE IS SO DIRTY!" or "WTS MAID SERVICE"
Tyler Sep 2nd 2007 4:03PM
http://www.wowhead.com/?item=29576#pick-pocketed-from
This one always makes me happy. "Just Keep Swimming."
Snuzzle Sep 4th 2007 2:57PM
Trying to talk to the Battlecat stationed by the Alliance Battlemasters in Shat. It says something like, "It's a giant armored cat. Making it talk would be even more silly wouldn't it?"
sennan Sep 3rd 2007 7:51PM
Pet Rock
"It looks happy."
RC_Tech Sep 3rd 2007 12:16AM
Hands down, it must be "The '1' Ring"
http://thottbot.com/i8350
The 1 Ring
Binds when equipped
Finger
+1 Strength
+1 Agility
+1 Stamina
+1 Intellect
+1 Spirit
Requires Level 10
"Not quite as good as the 2 Ring"
Tinil Sep 3rd 2007 12:53AM
Without a doubt it's the Deprecated Tauren Trapper's Pants which is, to my knowledge, completely unattainable (Perhaps for the better to!). While you can't actually get the item itself, it is a linkable item, at least on my server. You can use the following script to link the item in say. Equip it in the dressing room to see a side of your character you probably never wanted to see!
/script SendChatMessage("\124cff9d9d9d\124Hitem:128:0:0:0:0:0:0:0\124h[Deprecated Tauren Trapper's Pants]\124h\124r");
vigor Sep 3rd 2007 2:06AM
tinil what is it supposed to do?
0.o
i didn't see anything..
zarende Sep 3rd 2007 4:38AM
Cookie's Tenderizer
Binds when picked up
One-Hand Mace
20 - 39 Damage Speed 2.80
(10.5 damage per second)
+3 Strength
Durability 60 / 60
Requires Level 16
(It's a rolling pin)
I love walking around Shattrath waving this around.
Angry druid cook.
BenMS Sep 3rd 2007 8:37AM
The Deprecated Tauren Trapper's Pants are basically see-through, skin coloured to what ever colour the skin of your character is.
They are more than a little scary.
Sean Sep 3rd 2007 12:07PM
Early in her career, my wife gave me the [Small Pocket Watch] she picked from a Syndicate.
http://thottbot.com/i5374
It doesn't do anything, but I like to /emote it when I'm waiting for the Zepplin.
/em checks his [Small Pocket Watch]
It usually gets me a glance or two.