The BBC examines love in Azeroth
by Mike Schramm 
Sep 5th 2007 at 6:00PM
There's an interesting piece up over at the BBC's State of Play blog about how online games are becoming more and more social places, not just for friendly relationships, but for romantic ones as well. While meeting online used to be an embarassing thing for couples, nowadays it's much, much more common, and what better place to meet online than in a social MMORPG like World of Warcraft?Unfortunately, the idea doesn't quite fly with me. In an online situation like, say Facebook, you're more or less playing yourself-- odds are you've posted your own picture, your own opinions, and your own favorite music. But in World of Warcraft, you're playing a character. And even if that character isn't completely different from your real-life persona (most people actually are themselves in the game, unlike hardcore roleplayers), it's still different enough, in my opinion, to be a significant barrier to actually judging someone as a relationship partner.
But that's just me-- lots of people have found significant others in online games, and even more have met lots of people in MMOs, and then actually become better friends or partners after meeting them in real life. But while an online space like Myspace or Facebook might be very conducive to getting a real sense of new people, an online game set in a fictional universe like WoW is still too separate from the real world to allow for a real love connection on its own.
Filed under: Virtual selves, News items, RP
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Fletch Sep 5th 2007 6:17PM
The recent rash of explosive online break ups on the forums have definitely confirmed for me that finding love on WoW is a really bad idea.
It's also confirmed for me that heterosexual sex is really, really gross. Way too much talk of "squirting" and "beef curtains", thanks.
TotalBiscuit Sep 5th 2007 6:25PM
@2 Happily engaged and sorely disagreeing with ya :P
TB.
Kadaan Sep 5th 2007 6:44PM
I disagree with with you completely. In WoW, or any on-line game, you get to know a person over time before developing feelings for them. With MySpace/Facebook/On-line dating you're advertising yourself. In general, you're only putting your positive qualities forward on your profile page.
While an on-line game definitely isn't the place to be looking for love, I think you get a far better grasp on what a person is like by playing a game with them over several months than you do through MySpace/Facebook.
K2 Sep 5th 2007 7:03PM
"In online game set in a fictional universe like WoW is still too separate from the real world to allow for a real love connection on its own."
Oh well, I guess that settles it. Thanks for clearing that up!
Prlgthry Sep 5th 2007 7:09PM
While I dont think there are many people out there who have fallen in love with someone based solely on their interactions in WoW or any MMO, I believe that WoW can serve as an excellent spring board into any sort of relationship. You are socializing with people who innevitably have a few common interests as you; WoW, Video Games, Fantasy, etc.
I think we can all agree that its what you do with these game made connections, in the real world that count.
That being said, I met my girlfriend playing WoW, and couldnt be happier.
Typus Sep 5th 2007 7:39PM
I think you're looking at the question from a rather singular viewpoint, that two people rping don't have much of a chance falling in love with each other. The socializing that I do isn't typically between characters, but between the players via voip, party/guild chat etc. .
Krick Sep 5th 2007 8:50PM
Oh, come on. We all know that there aren't any actual females playing WoW. WoW consists of 9 million socially retarded 12-year-old boys telling each other stale Chuck Norris and Netherblade Facemask jokes in the trade channel. Well, that and a bunch of gold farmers with pet boars named "boar".
...
Krick
http://www.tankadin.com
kunukia Sep 5th 2007 9:14PM
My daughter met her husband ten years ago online. Obviously not WoW, but in an early text based game. Also a family friend is currently in a WoW spawned relationship. I expect that the survival of such relationships, if they make it through initial face to face contact will be about the same as any other way of meeting.
andywoho Sep 5th 2007 11:56PM
I liked the BBC article for its "skeptical but open minded" tone. This post, on the other hand...? You lost me when you said that Myspace and Facebook were a good way to get to "know" someone. In fact, I could not imagine a worse way to get to know someone, but that's beyond the scope of this discussion and I could write a page about why I hate Myspace. (And, no, I haven't had any bad experiences with Myspace users, per se.)
If you're any judge of character at all, you *can* learn a lot about someone from the way they behave in the game. Are they kind? Cruel? Mischievous? Funny? Generous? Stingy? Irresponsible? Pedantic?
As a very good friend of mine--whom I met through WoW, incidentally--said, "No amount of roleplaying in the world can mask your true character. Sooner or later, it emerges..." True that.
art Sep 6th 2007 2:50AM
never posted here before, but I have this to add...
my old guild had 2 people, one was a woman, the other a man, after raiding (together) they would both still be on because they wanted to / could and eventually started to spend more and more time helping each other, chatting in vent, etc.
A while has passed, now they are married with a kid and are very happy together.
Azriel Sep 6th 2007 8:50AM
I met my wife over world of warcraft, we hit it off right from the start met in real life and knew it was something great. Currently we live together and happily raid weekly together.
Don Sep 6th 2007 8:58AM
Some of us do it the old fashioned way, meet a girl, fall in love, then introduce her to the game.
At the moment my GF logs twice as much time in WoW as I do....
Jason Sep 6th 2007 9:01AM
I'm with those who think you're a little off base Mike. I know a few couples who have met online, not necessarily through WoW, but EQ. One of the couples has been married for quite some time, have two children and are thinking about adding a third. The other has been through some rough times, but are doing pretty well.
cagey Sep 6th 2007 12:52PM
I actually feel relationships that develop online have a couple of advantages over RL relationships.
First, it is simply easier to meet people in the game. While i am painfully shy in RL, and i acknowledge that the LFG mechanism in WoW needs improvement, typing "LFG to down Illidan" is a heck of a lot easier than trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger in RL, at least for me.
Second, and i personally feel this is extremely important, not seeing the actual person, or usually even hearing their voice is MORE conducive to developing a deep relationship than actually having the person sitting there in front of you. In RL when meeting a person it is simply too easy to dismiss them as too fat, too bald, too young, too beautiful. In the game it is obvious the the physical appearance, while it does tell you somethings about the person behind the avatar, is not necessarily reflective of the RL person, so when meeting people in the game we are forced to pay more attention to personality and behavior rather than appearance. This, IMO, leads to more lasting, stronger relationships.
gegen Sep 6th 2007 10:15AM
The article was talking about how WoW allows you to get to know someone as a player, which might give you insight into them as a person, that you wouldn't get from casual dating... or what they advertise about themselves on Facebook or Myspace. And I suppose it cuts both ways - I didn't meet my boyfriend through WoW (he introduced me to it) but if I had seen what he was like as a player before hand I might not have gone out with him. :X Fortunately nobody worth dating spends 100% of their life in Azeroth.
Hollywood Ron Sep 6th 2007 1:36PM
LF1M sex, gtg.
MENNONH Sep 6th 2007 4:00PM
I met my now live-in girlfriend in an MMO Chat game called "There." We then started playing "Lineage 2" and that is when I moved accross the U.S. to live with her. We have now been playing WoW for about 2 years and love it. MENNONH and Dionna...DOA
Crome Sep 13th 2007 7:11PM
The difference between meeting people on Facebook or Myspace vs. WoW is that lots of Facebook/Myspacers are LOOKING to date people. They want to impress, whether it's to actually get a gf or bf, or just to be creepy and get people into their beds. You don't see "To Catch a Predater" monitoring WoW chat afterall. But in WoW, people are there to play. They don't group up with you to get you to like them and meet them RL. They group up to beat the crap out of Hogger, get some revenge on those darn Fel Reavers, or even to get a chance at Illidan. If a relationship comes out of that, it's an unexpected bonus. It's the same as meeting someone at work or on your baseball team, etc. It's when you're NOT looking for a relationship that they usually find you.