Breakfast topic: Breaking up is hard to do in Azeroth
by Elizabeth Wachowski 
Sep 10th 2007 at 8:00AM
The end of a relationship can be a painful thing. Sometimes you see it coming from miles away, and are able to part ways while still remaining friends. Sometimes you get blindsided by the news and spend months depressed or drinking until you come to terms with it. And sometimes it's bad enough that you'll carry seething resentment towards the person for years and years.
Breakups are always tough, but they can be even tougher if both members of the couple play WoW. Suddenly, instead of your breakup being a private thing, a ton of other people are involved -- namely, your guild. Can both of you keep playing in the same guild without causing trouble? If you don't feel you can keep playing together, who gets to stay in the guild and who has to go? And if the couple are officers or guild leaders, can this tear apart your guild?
I've seen a few breakups in WoW where both members of the couple continued playing in the same guild without any trouble. However, I've seen quite a few more that ended in quitting, server transfers, or total destruction of the guild. What is the etiquette for breaking up in Azeroth? Would you find it hard to be guilded with an ex? Do you have any stories from the trenches of guild love?
Filed under: Virtual selves, Guilds, Breakfast Topics
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Goldwolf Sep 10th 2007 8:05AM
My guild was broken up this way, and it was a bit rough. Messed with people who weren't even involved.
So, now we're all kind of re-rolled. A custom channel keeps most of us who are still on good terms together. :)
Vestras Sep 10th 2007 8:31AM
When my ex and I broke up, we were in lackluster Horde Guild. I rerolled an alliance alt for a while, but that's about the entirety of the drama. My current guild has several couples in it, although one couple is married so I don't think we will see much happen there.
Lukane Sep 10th 2007 8:40AM
When did wowinsider become wowdrama.com I come here cause I enjoy the game, but I don't really care about how sad people get when they break up from their internet relationships.
When some loser and his "in game" girl start fighting/cybering/flirting I usually /point /laugh /gquit
Smithee Sep 10th 2007 8:58AM
Well, try this on for size. I started playing WoW right when it came out, and I'd just started seeing this girl. She wasn't too happy about me spending time playing games and not with her, but after a bit of trying to convince her (including a moment where she phoned me whilst I was in the shop to tell me she'd accidentally killed a bunny) to give WoW a go, she eventually got hooked, and so I built her a computer to play the game on. So eventually we were playing together regularly; either she'd play at her house whilst I was on mine, or she'd come over and play on my laptop beside me. And whilst our relationship had its ups and downs, it was mostly good fun playing together.
Now whilst I had pretty much remained guildless for most of my time in the game (I enjoyed questing solo), she had quickly made a bunch of friends in a social guild, which she eventually convinced me to join. They were mostly quite decent people (with the odd exception, as you might expect), although there was one guy who I thought was good fun but who was kind of poorly regarded by some of the members. This included my girlfriend, who thought he was a bit of a freak. Having spent time talking to him and getting to know him better I was certain she just needed to give him a chance, which she eventually did, and so the three of us became good friends, questing together... and you can probably guess where this is going already, can't you?
In short; yes, she did.
Cyphersushi Sep 10th 2007 9:01AM
@3. The articel is not about internet relationships, it's about real-life relationships where both parts play wow in the same guild.
On topic, we had a breakup in our guild and unfortunatelly it ended with us loosing one of our best priests as she chose to quite the game rather than keep playing with her x. Too bad really but it was her own choice.
matt Sep 10th 2007 9:03AM
I think the story, #4, is never leave an opening for cheating :P
T. Sep 10th 2007 9:32AM
Well, #4 is worrying me as well. Kinda have a similar experience now myself, just a few steps earlier. She is currently spending more and more time with 2 other guys (intensly talking with them on ts, even gave them her cell phone number already) which made me quit the server because I couldn't stand it seeing her being around them all the time.
It's no solution, I know and running away is stupid - but what am I supposed to do? She's telling me that she needs some freedom, etc. ... the usual stuff that you here before it turns out to be over.
So I try closing my eyes and wishing for a wonder to happen.
CVJ Sep 10th 2007 9:58AM
If someone cheats on you due to someone they met online and you were also online I am pretty sure I failed miserably at life. I mean I hear stories where you neglect people and they cheat but heck your in the same virtual world as they are and they cheat....wow.
Achika Sep 10th 2007 10:24AM
I'm sure that there are all sorts of situations that could arise from this, unfortunately. The allure of someone online can often break up even the most meaningful relationship.
We had a guy in my guild for a while that was a jerk to almost everyone. Although he was a jerk, he would flirt outrageously, and not much would be done of it. His girlfriend joined the guild shortly after he did, and soon they were inseperable. They had a few problems here and there, and as an end, things in the guild were a little messed up from time to time. Eventually he was kicked, and I'd heard (as I wasn't online at the time) that she left as soon as he was.
The funny thing is that they had already broken up for good by that time.
Lenny Sep 10th 2007 10:40AM
Ah, love is in the air, like some thick fog that I may drown in.
I've told the whole story here before so let's see what's happening now. The prologue is that I was happily engaged for over a year then I had to ask her to move out. She's an officer in our guild and the priest class leader.
We see each other online all the time, even though we are on a RP sever RL tends to be in guild chat most of the time. Sometimes I just don't want to see what's going on with her, but I found out putting her on ignore is a bad idea. And more times than not I'm repressing the desire to respond to her ramblings with some witty quip. Rarely do we ever greet the other when we come online or yell a "gratz" at each other achievements.
I'm sure it will pass, I don't want to leave, I have lots of friends here and so does she. Every day it feels as if I'm embracing the rose. It might help if I was in another relationship or played less but I find my reputation reward with women being the "let's just be friends" speech.
Sounds like I could make an interesting parody page on Wowwiki about reputation with women :P
jamphat Sep 10th 2007 3:24PM
all women are cheating whores. in WoW, theyre cheating hordes. same story, less polygons - they all suck :(
Smurk Sep 10th 2007 11:07AM
Dammit, Smithee, you can't taunt me with juicy drama and then cut your story at the best part. Serious lolz at all of this, I'd love to hear more stories.
This made me think: what would be the best way to break up with someone (who you're with in real life) in-game? The best/worst possible time to break the news?
"omg hurry n cap the flag sweetie"
"uh we need 2 talk meet me on the roof kthx"
Michel Sep 10th 2007 11:07AM
there are always a people thinking to be smart telling "lolol it's a virtual game you nerds, only polygons, XD narf!"
but of course, people here is speaking about REAL persons, in the REAL life continuing relationship, creating new relationship or destroying relationship with / in / besides Wow, e-mail, phone text or whatever.
I know many people which used Mmo, IRC channel or forums to meet in _REAL life_ people. some are now married, others in bitter disappointment.
-
it's not "cybering". it's "I talked with someone fun for months, maybe I will meet him/her at a coffee or a shop tomorrow" and the consequences to the guild and others players when a couple break up _in real life_
(yeah, the real life, the one with little birds, clouds and all the stuff, stop trying to be smart in telling people wow is not irl , THEY KNOW ! but People are REAL, even behind tiny pixels)
The lesson of the day is : People are always real.
Sylythn Sep 10th 2007 11:17AM
Even when things were going well - playing the same game, in the same group with my gf was a disaster. Real life seeped into game, game seeped into real life, and she saw it as some giant metaphor for the whole thing. I killed off my character just to get away from it all. Relationships and games, in my mind, will just never mix well - especially when things start turning sour.
Shadowisp Sep 10th 2007 11:30AM
I know a lot of people that have hooked up over the years from playing games like City of Heroes, Guild Wars, EQ, WoW. Not many break up stories though... but one couple had been dating and living together a year, there break up was a horrid mess.
All went smoothly... until they started fighting about who owned what bank alt stuff, and who owed who for BoEs, Epic Mounts etc.
Mike Sep 10th 2007 11:49AM
@4 OMG I went through same thing with RL fiancee, living together in case anyone thinks I mean net only, and now we hardly talk. Luckily she followed her new "friend" to another server, but still plays on our old server with her friends once in a while. But just like anyone on the net, the chance is there whether playing a MMORPG or something as simple as Yahoo or Pogo pool. Anytime people can chat and make new connections the opportunity exists for something like this to happen. Many people feel it is easier online and I guess in many respects it is, you only see your online "friend" when you want and can always feign d/c or other connection issues if you need a break. Not that easy in RL. Luckily we were in seperate guilds, raiding for me social for her so there wasn't any guild drama to deal with and we were able to keep it between us for the most part.
Smithee Sep 10th 2007 12:05PM
Well, what can I say? I was reluctant to go into too much detail. Obviously, she left me for the other guy. I ended up quitting the game and deleting all my characters (giving away all my travelers backpacks to newbies in Goldshire was actually strangely satisfying) and vendoring everything I owned before giving the money away.
Of course, even typing DELETE doesn't guarantee you're gone forever; a GM resurrected me last year and I've been back in WoW on and off since then. I'd already left the guild I was in, but I never went back given the two individuals in question having senior positions. I have since moved realm, but so did their entire guild, so occasionally I do see her (and him) about, but not all that often.
I can see the funny side to it all now; I know that she and I weren't good for each other and so it was probably best we did go our separate ways, even if the way it happened wasn't very pleasant (breakups never are). I'm sure there are people with worse stories out there, though. Life is always stranger than fiction...
Golgothen Sep 10th 2007 12:44PM
Just to play devils advocate here... My wife and I play WoW every night after work and most of the weekends too. At first we did everything together from questing, instances, skills, prof's etc. so that we could always be in the same group. Now that we are 70 and starting Kara raids, our playtime has changed quite a bit. Now while she is farming for primals for gear, I am running instances for rep and sets. We don't play in groups as much as we used to, but it also helps w/ Kara runs and us needing to be split between groups now and then. I think it can be a problem if you don't work things out. You need to work as a team and/or come to compromises. If you're selfish about it, it will definitely cause problems. I hate farming and like running instances, which my wife would rather farm..so for example I will help her get 2-3 primals and then she will join me for an instance run. Then when we are finished, we will go back to whatever we want to do seperately...seems to work well so far.
Katamarann Sep 10th 2007 1:22PM
My boyfriend and I got back together after a few months apart. Things were still a bit shaky, and he started playing WoW. I started playing a little while later. Playing the game together has actually helped us out I think. We're better now than we were for a long time.
Except when he does something stupid like aggro everything around us. Then we fight.