Azeroth Interrupted: Reader Mail -- How to tell your friends about WoW
by Robin Torres 
Oct 30th 2007 at 2:00AM
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.
This week, I'm answering an email from Sylvanra:
Dear Robin,
How do I tell my friends about WoW? It isn't a common topic of conversation, but when it does come up I usually get a little negative attention for playing, then the conversation goes on. Because of this, I kind of play it down, but I answer questions about my hobby truthfully, I certainly don't want to jeopardize my real life relationships! But I would like to somehow let them know more about WoW and why I play, without getting the negative attention I have gotten in the past. I love my friends to death, but we certainly don't agree on how we spend our free time!
-Sylvanra
Dear Sylvanra,
I'm very open about my WoW habit. I wore my Wrath of the Lich King t-shirt to Disneyland this past weekend, which got me accosted by a young kid outside of the Snow White ride who wanted to make a character on my server so he could chat with me more there. A Disney castmember even interrupted his safety spiel to shout out his love for the game when he saw what I was wearing. It's obvious that there are a lot of WoW-lovers out there who are dying to talk about it. But there are also a lot of WoW players who prefer to keep their hobby on the down-low, including one or two of my friends who thought that wearing a Blizzard t-shirt to Disney was just a bit too fangirl.
I don't know if Blizzard is paying for product placement or if shows are trying to reap South Park-like rewards for WoW-related episodes, but mainstream mentions of WoW help those of us with friends who give us grief for our hobby. Not that we should be embarrassed about spending our leisure time in Azeroth, but I agree with you that some friendships are worth keeping even if they don't understand your choice of recreation.
This week, I'm answering an email from Sylvanra:
Dear Robin,
How do I tell my friends about WoW? It isn't a common topic of conversation, but when it does come up I usually get a little negative attention for playing, then the conversation goes on. Because of this, I kind of play it down, but I answer questions about my hobby truthfully, I certainly don't want to jeopardize my real life relationships! But I would like to somehow let them know more about WoW and why I play, without getting the negative attention I have gotten in the past. I love my friends to death, but we certainly don't agree on how we spend our free time!
-Sylvanra
Dear Sylvanra,
I'm very open about my WoW habit. I wore my Wrath of the Lich King t-shirt to Disneyland this past weekend, which got me accosted by a young kid outside of the Snow White ride who wanted to make a character on my server so he could chat with me more there. A Disney castmember even interrupted his safety spiel to shout out his love for the game when he saw what I was wearing. It's obvious that there are a lot of WoW-lovers out there who are dying to talk about it. But there are also a lot of WoW players who prefer to keep their hobby on the down-low, including one or two of my friends who thought that wearing a Blizzard t-shirt to Disney was just a bit too fangirl.
I don't know if Blizzard is paying for product placement or if shows are trying to reap South Park-like rewards for WoW-related episodes, but mainstream mentions of WoW help those of us with friends who give us grief for our hobby. Not that we should be embarrassed about spending our leisure time in Azeroth, but I agree with you that some friendships are worth keeping even if they don't understand your choice of recreation.
Until MMO-playing becomes as mainstream as following a television series, there will be awkward moments with our non-Azerothian friends. Humor is the best way to get through these moments. Here are a few suggestions to try not-too-seriously, though the last two have worked for me many times:
Resistance is futile
Explain that geeks are very quickly taking over and cite the mainstream mentions of WoW as an example. Promise your friend a good place in the new world order if he will just be tolerant of your gaming hobby now.
Confrontation
"That's right! I play WoW! It's fun! insert profanity here" I haven't tried this, but everyone seems to get along better after confrontations on Kitchen Nightmares. Of course, you may also have to redecorate your friend's living room to get the same result. (That's right! I have a crush on Gordon Ramsay. You got a problem with that? insert profanity here)
The best defense is a good offense
Ridicule your friend's favorite hobby in a similar fashion. When your friend counter-argues, use similar arguments to defend WoW.
Make them feel left out
Explain that you would go into more detail about how much fun you are having in WoW, but they just wouldn't understand. Name the friends who do understand and with whom you can discuss your pastime. Then pointedly change the subject to something very mundane like the weather.
It could be worse
Talk about a less socially acceptable hobby that you may or may not actually have. I find that people would rather talk about WoW than my yarn addiction most of the time. If you describe in detail the process of your new earthworm taxidermy pastime, your friends may be more than happy to hear about your new phat lewts instead.
Be verbose
Explain the fun you have in WoW. Give a foundation of what the game is about and what you like most about it. Tell two of your funniest stories from PUGs. Devote some real time to the topic, expressing your enthusiasm and ignoring any attempts to change the subject. When you're done, your friends will either
- Become open to exploring the game themselves or
- Avoid the subject in the future and never ridicule you again to avoid more WoW stories.
Beware: You may not be happy with the results. But the best way to get your friends to be more accepting of your WoW habit is to get them to play, too. You could start by showing them the game and then inviting them to try the 10 day trial with you. It may be a struggle with your non-gamer friends and it definitely isn't for everybody, but until they spend some time thumping Lazy Peons or fetching beer for Dwarves, they will have a hard time understanding why you spend your leisure time the way you do.
Teaching people tolerance of anything is always difficult and gaming gets enough bad press to make this especially challenging. Good friends, however, should be easier to convince that your adventures in Azeroth are at worst a harmless expenditure of your leisure time. Hopefully, you can teach your friends to be as tolerant of your fun as non-roleplayers should be of roleplayers, raiders should be of those who don't have time to raid and casuals should be of those who do.
I hope this helps, Sylvanra. And when things get tough, remember that there are 9 million people worldwide who are in the same boat as we are. Keep in touch.
Robin Torres juggles one level 70 Tauren Druid, multiple alts across multiple servers, two cats, one toddler, one loot-addicted husband and a yarn dependency. After years of attempting to balance MMOs with real life, Robin lightheartedly shares the wisdom gleaned from her experiences. If you would like to ask Robin's advice or if you have a story you wish to share, please email Robin.Torres AT weblogsinc DOT com for a possible future column.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Azeroth Interrupted
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Charlie Oct 30th 2007 2:18AM
Funny.
Good article
simeon Oct 30th 2007 4:10AM
I like how it seems the letter implies that playing WoW is the social equivalent of having a family member in prison or having an unusual disease.
hobo Oct 30th 2007 4:25AM
pffft thats nothing
when i went to disney land i dressed up in the tier 2 mage set.
everyone thought i was an actual employee of disney land
ppl were like "so what disney character are u?" and i was liek "wtf nubs, i am a tier 2 mage ftw!!"
LONG LIVE WOW!!!
arb Oct 30th 2007 4:52AM
Most of the grief I get comes from my wife who appears to object to me playing my "geeky kids game". I generally play it after she's gone to bed or is watching one of the programmes on TV which she alone enjoys, so it shouldn't be impacting our quality time together. I suppose, in her eyes, it's just not something mature thirty-somethings ought to be doing...
evestraw Oct 30th 2007 5:07AM
i wear my rogue shirt very often
still need to aply rogue and maybe alliance patch on my night camo pants :P
Moo Oct 30th 2007 5:16AM
WoW takes a lot of organisation, and the person skills involved are not unlike managing people at work. I always point out the logistical facts and the teamwork issues, rather than simply agreeing it is a game and no more.
@4 - yeah, I get that too. I just point out the amount of time my wife watches TV.... usually doesn't help tho.
Zsasz Oct 30th 2007 7:22AM
Fanboyism is a plague. The castmember should have been scolded by the directors if not fired at once. By all means,there is no wrong in your interests, but do not walk into another's temple proclaiming your beliefs, in this case, interests. I trust you do have other shirts to take to such a crowded place as Disney, yes?
It's much like those rappers who wear lots of bling, diamond studded crosses and the like outside of their shirts, instead of something small, modest, and symbolic underneath.
Charles Oct 30th 2007 7:33AM
@7
: S I think you're taking this a bit too seriously.
Mel Oct 30th 2007 7:42AM
I am a lesbian in a very rural area. Nothing beats comming out of the closet with that.
Telling people that I play WoW? *pfffft*
Either they suck it up and better not ridicule me - or they can go die in a fire. *waves flamethrower*
Ghen Oct 30th 2007 8:05AM
Mel wins.
Evona Oct 30th 2007 8:07AM
i have a little more difficulty juggling my "WOW" time. im in the navy so i dont get much time to play to begin with so i try to play when i am inport. i guess i dont really have to worry about what my friends say since im not around in one place long enough for them to notice.
Cribley Oct 30th 2007 8:19AM
@10 /agree
Aello Oct 30th 2007 8:19AM
I've had a bit of a different reaction from one of my friends. He knows how much I love the game, but seems to have taken it to the other extreme, thinking the only thing I CAN talk about for any length of time is WoW.
It seems these days telling people you play WoW is the socially awkward thing to do. You either get people that are really curious and interested, or people that try to skirt the topic entirely.
Sylythn Oct 30th 2007 8:50AM
I am SO using the Resistance is Futile tactic on the next person I see. :)
Rorlins the Dwarf Oct 31st 2007 7:19AM
I really really hope that no one takes this seriously. While funny to read, most of this advice will cost you the friendship and get you no where closer to your friend accepting your "non traditional" hobby.
Funny though, Adeldia and I just did a show on this a few weeks back called "Coming Out Geek". It might be worth a listen.
Rorlins
(http://theelfanddwarf.podbean.com)
Sehvan Oct 30th 2007 9:18AM
The most I get is blind confusion from work colleagues - many of my friends play it too.
I do try to explain that it's a fun and cheap way to spend the evening, as opposed to going out and getting mangled, but the look of despair usually just deepens :)
I think if I was male, this would be 10 times worse, though. Girl gamers are usually seen as a novelty, even though there are so many of us.
Hollywood Ron Oct 30th 2007 9:31AM
I wore an Alienware teeshirt to the movies once on a date. A guy stopped me just so he could announce his approval of my choice of laptop. It was like being a part of a small but exclusive club of dorks. It was great.
Gustov Oct 30th 2007 9:43AM
I think there are far more WoW players than let on; I applaud your T-shirt! I also have a wife who watches an enormous amount of television, but at least she is very understanding of my WoW time. As a token of appreciation, I watch some TV shows with her during the week.
thorlok Oct 30th 2007 10:21AM
I have a different approach, if someone asks me about my hobbies here at work I will mention WOW but only briefly and then I won't mention it again even if I can tell that their gears are turning. Then they usually google it find out more about it and then try to get me to talk about it but will just explain it nonchalantly and move on to another topic. Usually by the end of the week the only thing they want to hear about is WOW so I guess if you just dangle it out there it seems to build some sort of anticipation. I have converted a couple with that and some screen shots of warlock pwnage.
Tryst Oct 30th 2007 10:40AM
Rather than the positive, "Oh, look, we all play WoW experience, cool!" I had an opposite experience a few months ago. I had to take my husband to the emergency room for a very serious problem. Our assigned doctor was wearing an Alliance sweatshirt and I thought bonding with him might assist us in getting what we needed so I said, "We too roll with the Alliance." Unfortunately, from there on all he wanted to talk about was WoW. Even though I initiated the topic, mostly because I was scared and anxious, I thought it was completely unprofessional of him to basically stop treating my husband and just continue the WoW conversation. I think there's a time and a place for talking about it and that wasn't it.