All the World's a Stage: Drawing the line on ERP
All the World's a Stage is brought to you by David Bowers every Sunday evening, investigating the mysterious art of roleplaying in the World of Warcraft.There are some people out there who use online games as a venue for their erotic fantasies, from husbands and wives spending some imaginative time together online, to complete strangers flush with desire and looking for some sort of satisfaction in each other. Most of these people who try out Erotic Role-Playing (or ERP) in WoW realize the need to keep it private; they do whatever they do in private chat channels, where it stays their own affair.
But there are a rare few who take ERP to an extreme: they form a guild whose whole purpose is to engage in ERP, and proceed to garner a largely negative reputation for themselves. They wear their suggestive guild name like a sign above each of their character's heads, as if to draw as much attention to themselves as possible. Their members indulge in various sexual fantasies, some of which may even be extremely distasteful and objectionable, played out in an environment where everyone is encouraged to "explore" with one another in anonymity.
Obviously, the moral danger here is that young people may be tempted to wander in, way before they are mature enough to understand or deal reasonably with what they experience there. We generally assume adults to be responsible for themselves in such matters, but children may very well be confused and curious, even willing to lie about their age in order to unravel such adult secrets. Indeed, ERP is a subject matter that the vast majority of players do not want to see -- least of all parents who like their kids to grow and learn from their interactions with others within the game, or at least have a safe and fun experience. Therefore, roleplayers of any sort have a responsibility to keep the public environment clean and safe for all who play there, and for the few involved with ERP guilds to do otherwise is dangerous and unethical.
Before I go on with this topic, let us try to imagine, if we can, a hypothetical "responsible and ethical ERP guild" which strives to respect the needs of young people in their larger gaming community, as well as the needs of other adults who do not wish for sexuality to be part of their online gaming experience. Such a guild would take great care that their membership would only consist of consenting adults, perhaps interviewing new members with voice chat, requesting Facebook pages, and generally doing their best to "prove" that a new member is not a minor. Of course no system is foolproof, but such a guild would also try hard not to attract the attention of kids by being too overt with their activities. They would keep their activities entirely private and unknown by the general public in the same way that normal citizens don't go about flashing their private parts or wearing S&M leathers in the street.
Such ERP guilds may exist, but I do not know about them. Indeed, perhaps this is a sign of how well they are doing at keeping themselves private and respectful of the larger community's needs -- if so, I thank them for it. I fear, however, that such a reasonable approach generally goes against the basic urges which drove the players to form ERP guilds in the first place. The sex drive is not a rational, balanced feeling; it's tied up with so many other feelings of loneliness, frustration, insecurity, hope, affection, assurance, validation, and fear that people who form guilds based on it are not likely to turn around and say, "Hey, let's be logical about this."
Quite the opposite: anonymity is one of the big draws of the whole online sexual fantasy. People engaging in group-based ERP are not at all likely to want to share their personal details with everyone. A male wanting to explore lesbian sex, for example, probably won't want to be interviewed with voice chat and subjected to a real life Facebook examination before getting into his fantasy. I'm sorry to say that, from the limited conversations I have had with overt ERP enthusiasts, I haven't seen much caution, or any desire to know anything at all about their partners' real life identities. They've seemed perfectly happy to just assume the other person is a consenting adult without even asking, apparently because their avatar is so very obviously not a child, and children shouldn't be online getting into this sort of thing, and if they are then it's the parent's fault for not being aware of what the kids are doing online!
This is just another way of shirking public responsibility. It's so very tempting to blame the parents for everything in this situation, but before we do so, let's be realistic for a moment: when a parent signs up for cable TV, they know full well that some of those channels have sexual content on late at night. It is their responsibility to judge what their children may or may not watch. When a parent signs up for general internet access, they are likewise aware that pornography is readily available to anyone with even an accidental interest in it, and are responsible for protecting their children in the way they see fit.
But in WoW, their only warning is "Game Experience May Change During Online Play." There is nothing there to warn that children may be exposed to mature content because some other players have decided to go ahead and play out their fantasies with any character that comes along. Indeed, no further warning ought to be necessary -- there is no sexually offensive content in the actual game itself, and players really have no right to inject it in the online public setting anymore than they have a right to do so in a public park or video arcade. It is the right of parents to decide that their child is old enough to watch R-rated movies, but it is not the right of the online player to decide that R-rated content should be good enough for anyone around them, or even anyone who might express an anonymous interest.
In short, if anyone chooses to engage in ERP online with anyone else in WoW, whether in a guild or not, that person has a profound responsibility to be sure the other party is a consenting adult. One can ask directly, interview with voice chat, or even demand a scan of their driver's license along with a picture of their face alongside the screen showing their in-game character. If some people insist on having their very own guild dedicated to ERP, even more care must be taken to insure that others are not negatively affected.
But for those who make ERP into public drama, reveling in all the attention they get, thumbing their noses at the general populace of roleplayers who request them to stop -- there is nothing to do but draw a line. This is the point at which the majority of roleplayers must sadly point a finger and say, "That is not us. We do not engage in this behavior, and we do not condone it."
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Guilds, RP, All the World's a Stage (Roleplaying)






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Toni Mar 24th 2009 7:55PM
I roleplay on my RP server, and I ERP on my RP server. I keep anything explicit in private channels - /party or /whisper. I include ERP in my repetoire because sexuality is a part of personality. It is a factor in interpersonal interactions. It shouldn't need justifying if it is how people wish to play the game, as the EULA and TOS do allow for problem players to be censured by Blizzard if their behavior becomes offensive to others.
I don't keep my stuff private specifically to protect minors, but to be considerate of others. Almost all other ERPers I know do the same. Some few get a kick out of exhibitionism, and posting mature content in /emotes or /say or even /yell. When they do, the rest of the community has the wherewithal to register a complaint by notifying a GM. They should avail themselves of that.
The activity that never disturbs anyone is activity that never draws controversy or complaint. A shame that the egregious exceptions become the poster-children of those who play responsibly.
kenny Nov 4th 2007 7:50PM
gives new meaning to server going down
Villanimm Nov 4th 2007 7:54PM
Ugh, ERP-ers give such a bad reputation to regular roleplayers... I'm sure they're the reason why everyone thinks roleplaying is "weird" and "creepy".
draeth Nov 4th 2007 9:11PM
Roleplaying isnt weird and creepy, its just much easier to /yell PWNED!!!! than it is to bust out an epic emote about smiting a foe.
And when has porn on the internet gotten so old that people have to have mock sex by /emote'n on their keyboard? Ill never understand it
locomoco Nov 4th 2007 9:20PM
Hmmm... what outfits are they wearing in the screenshot there?
Vanguard Mar 19th 2008 9:13AM
Bloodforge set, or something. It's been a while
Toni Mar 24th 2009 7:22PM
Blood Knight mail armor uses those models. Bonechewer leathers show off one's caboose better, though.
Terrant Nov 4th 2007 10:35PM
I just don't get ERP in WoW. The game's not built for that. Now, you could argue the game isn't really built for a lot of RP scenarios, but ERP especially so. You can't even two characters to hug or kiss each other, let alone other... uh... interactions. Take it to a MUD, MUSH, some kind of user-run virtual world, message board, whatever.
Kepora Oct 7th 2011 11:25PM
As someone whom RPs frequently both in and out of WoW, it CAN be a strong part of a character's development if done right-like the culmination of a relationship that's been in the works for a long time, not just "lol let'sdoit". A lot of people think the contrary because of "touchy" a subject it can be (or jus tthe urge to go "Giggity"), but-again-as someone who's RPed for a long time...there can be far deeper meanings. Unfortunately, many self-proclaimed "ERPers" don't have even an iota of the RP skill, common sense, or even decency to type properly that comes with that kind of a roleplay...
TL;DR: I've ERPed a couple of times, but it FAR from makes up the majority of my RP on WoW, and there's more to it than just "cybering".
Terrant Nov 4th 2007 10:37PM
I just don't get ERP in WoW. The game's not built for that. Now, you could argue the game isn't really built for a lot of RP scenarios, but ERP especially so. You can't even two characters to hug or kiss each other, let alone other... uh... interactions. Take it to a MUD, MUSH, some kind of user-run virtual world, message board, whatever.
roguedubb Nov 4th 2007 11:19PM
[The sex drive is not a rational, balanced feeling; it's tied up with so many other feelings of loneliness, frustration, insecurity, hope, affection, assurance, validation, and fear that people who form guilds based on it are not likely to turn around and say, "Hey, let's be logical about this."]
Please explain.
I'm at a loss as to where to begin, but it boils down to the usual mix of: your logic is not equal to everyone elses logic, nor are your standards, your morals, your tastes, your sex.
As for, dangerous and unethical: would not leaving a child or minor unsupervised in the company of however-many strangers in an environment, which has no effective rating qualify as such? And supervision does involve more than just enjoying the relative quiet while someone plays WoW.
Syna Nov 5th 2007 2:42AM
Parental responsibility plays a HUGE part here - lets be realistic for a moment - parents are the only ones who have direct access to supervise their children's online activities. Parents are the only ones who can accurately censor out 'inappropriate' material. Don't trust your kid to not go to banned sites - no internet time when mum or dad aren't around. Don't like it - don't become a parent.
To ignore the necessity parental responsibility would be like expecting children to raise themselves.
Stanlee Steamerfist Nov 5th 2007 4:37AM
Im really suprized this never got mentioned... but why don't these ERPers just go to Secound life? It has a decent 3d engine, a economey based off a liberal idea of marketing genuine user created content, and it even has a thriving penis market...
Yea.. to have a really good time in SL, you have to buy yourself a penis.. unless you want to pretend your a girl, or actually are a girl..
In any case, SL is the perfect place for concenting adults to sexualy relieve themself in whatever setting they want, (as they can create it from scatch if they are so inclined) and how ever they want to be releave, (because there is so many perverts of any given fetish.) If you have a fetish, Im sure SL has some place for you to find sexual release.
On top of that, they also have a age verification system. Of course.. there is some negatives...
Gender verification system is sold seperatly. Secound life is not responcable for self any discovers of your own sexuality, riddicule from friends, famialy, & guild members, skin abbrations, and/or sticky keyboards... And please use Secound life responcably.
nymrodel Nov 5th 2007 4:54AM
@4: It's the Battleforge armor.. Mail, around the early 20's level I believe.
David Bowers Nov 5th 2007 6:37AM
@7, I'm not sure what is unclear about the paragraph you quoted, but I'll do my best to put it in other words: All of us have both sex-impulses and logical capacities, but usually there is a need for one to be controlled by the other. The urge for sexual satisfaction often puts people in danger of doing things without thinking about the consequences, unless we control ourselves and stop to think of both parties' well-being before we act.
Fortunately, all of us are capable of rational thought, so once the potential unhappy consequences of anonymous ERP become known, people who wish to do such things can stop and make sure that the other person is a consenting adult before they get involved.
I don't know how you heard me say "your logic is not equal to everyone elses logic, nor are your standards, your morals, your tastes, your sex." I'm sure your logic is just fine, and you can reason out the possible consequences of various behaviors as well as I can.
Regarding parental supervision: I think the question of how much parents should supervise their children is beyond the scope of this article. Instead, I'm saying that regardless of how much parental supervision any given child is getting, WoW is a virtual space for the general public, like a theme park, and players do not have the right to expose other players to sexual content in WoW unless all members involved in any way with the ERP are both *consenting* and *adult*. Since "consent" may be clear but "adult" may not be, it is the duty anyone involved in such things to make sure.
Proving everyone's identity may take some of the fun out if it, I guess, but it's really the only way I can think of to be responsible about it.
honkhonk Nov 5th 2007 6:43AM
If you let kids run around unsupervised in that game you fail at parenting.
Theserene Nov 5th 2007 7:11AM
First off, at least in my country, WoW has an age limit. The game cannot be sold to under 12s.
Secondly, anyone can claim to be anyone else on the internet, I will usually assume that the intelligent mature person I am talking to is an adult. If they are using 'lol u noob u fukin tard' then I assume they are 12.
Thirdly, if we want to talk about adult material in our guild chat we will, we've made it very clear that if you cannot handle adult conversational topics then you have no business being in our guild.
And lastly, stop trying to sanitise the internet 'for the children'. Yes, adults do have to take a certain amount of wisdom in thinking about whether the person they are exchanging comments about blowjobs with is an adult, but I think demanding in depth personal information (drivers licenses) is bang out of line. I will NEVER send personal information to an internet stranger and that is in fact an extremely dangerous thing to suggest that people do.
David Bowers Nov 5th 2007 7:43AM
@13, If your guild is adults only, then by all means talk about whatever you like. I'm hardly trying to "sanitize the internet" -- I'm just saying that people need to exercise a "certain amount of wisdom" in choosing what they say to whom, especially with extreme things like ERP.
I'm also not saying that people should send in-depth personal information to strangers -- that's just the extreme end of "proving" someone else's age. Rather, I'm saying it's important to be careful of the situation and sincerely try to keep kids out of mature content. What exactly you do to determine the age of people you let into your guild is up to your own conscience. In some situations I imagine it's enough to just ask directly about their age and judge them from their conversation, and any such genuine effort is a thousand times better than just doing hardcore ERP with any anonymous person that happens to show an interest.
Zechleton Nov 5th 2007 8:06AM
"Ugh, ERP-ers give such a bad reputation to regular roleplayers... I'm sure they're the reason why everyone thinks roleplaying is "weird" and "creepy"."
Trust me, the bad rep of RP-ers has nothing whatsoever to do with ERP-ers, they're just funny to the rest of us. The bad rep comes from the fact that you're all huge nerds who need to escape reality on a daily basis and frankly, on my server at least, we find this hillarious.
Gillybean Nov 5th 2007 8:33AM
Here here@13
Most people who indulge in erp demand intelligence and maturity from their partner. They expect detailed and well thought out responses. In short, it's pretty easy to tell the maturity level of the person you're talking to. Obviously, maturity does not equal age in all cases but in many it does. I'd venture to say that most 12 yr olds don't have the maturity or linguistic ability to participate in erp.
It seems like many of you have forgotten what it was like to be a kid. Kid's are having sex, they're curious about it, at the very least they're masturbating (oh...the horror). I know I was and I'm sure most of you were. With all the dangerous sex related thing on the internet, I think WoW erp is the least of a parents worry. You said yourself in the article that most people do not want to know anything about the other person, they just want to deal with the characters. Usually, it's all done in the third person as well. It's all "he' and "she" not "you" and "I." Isn't that better than having the kid in a sex chat room with some 50 year old pervert trying to get personal information from them? Isn't it better than having kids surf the internet for porn? If someone gets in a situation they aren't comfortable in, all the have to do is /ignore because in the end, it's just words. Yes, there are some who participate in erp that take it too far, but that can be said of every community to one degree or another.
And parents do have a big responsibility like others said. When I lived at home, I was not allowed to have a computer in my room. We had a family one in the living room. That's a pretty easy way to keep your kids from doing stuff you don't want them to.
Sex is not evil. I don't understand while everyone always acts like it is. Erp does not hurt anybody when kept in the right channels. You are right about that, it should be kept in privat channels, never in public. *steps down off her pedastal*