All the World's a Stage: Drawing the line on ERP
All the World's a Stage is brought to you by David Bowers every Sunday evening, investigating the mysterious art of roleplaying in the World of Warcraft.There are some people out there who use online games as a venue for their erotic fantasies, from husbands and wives spending some imaginative time together online, to complete strangers flush with desire and looking for some sort of satisfaction in each other. Most of these people who try out Erotic Role-Playing (or ERP) in WoW realize the need to keep it private; they do whatever they do in private chat channels, where it stays their own affair.
But there are a rare few who take ERP to an extreme: they form a guild whose whole purpose is to engage in ERP, and proceed to garner a largely negative reputation for themselves. They wear their suggestive guild name like a sign above each of their character's heads, as if to draw as much attention to themselves as possible. Their members indulge in various sexual fantasies, some of which may even be extremely distasteful and objectionable, played out in an environment where everyone is encouraged to "explore" with one another in anonymity.
Obviously, the moral danger here is that young people may be tempted to wander in, way before they are mature enough to understand or deal reasonably with what they experience there. We generally assume adults to be responsible for themselves in such matters, but children may very well be confused and curious, even willing to lie about their age in order to unravel such adult secrets. Indeed, ERP is a subject matter that the vast majority of players do not want to see -- least of all parents who like their kids to grow and learn from their interactions with others within the game, or at least have a safe and fun experience. Therefore, roleplayers of any sort have a responsibility to keep the public environment clean and safe for all who play there, and for the few involved with ERP guilds to do otherwise is dangerous and unethical.
Before I go on with this topic, let us try to imagine, if we can, a hypothetical "responsible and ethical ERP guild" which strives to respect the needs of young people in their larger gaming community, as well as the needs of other adults who do not wish for sexuality to be part of their online gaming experience. Such a guild would take great care that their membership would only consist of consenting adults, perhaps interviewing new members with voice chat, requesting Facebook pages, and generally doing their best to "prove" that a new member is not a minor. Of course no system is foolproof, but such a guild would also try hard not to attract the attention of kids by being too overt with their activities. They would keep their activities entirely private and unknown by the general public in the same way that normal citizens don't go about flashing their private parts or wearing S&M leathers in the street.
Such ERP guilds may exist, but I do not know about them. Indeed, perhaps this is a sign of how well they are doing at keeping themselves private and respectful of the larger community's needs -- if so, I thank them for it. I fear, however, that such a reasonable approach generally goes against the basic urges which drove the players to form ERP guilds in the first place. The sex drive is not a rational, balanced feeling; it's tied up with so many other feelings of loneliness, frustration, insecurity, hope, affection, assurance, validation, and fear that people who form guilds based on it are not likely to turn around and say, "Hey, let's be logical about this."
Quite the opposite: anonymity is one of the big draws of the whole online sexual fantasy. People engaging in group-based ERP are not at all likely to want to share their personal details with everyone. A male wanting to explore lesbian sex, for example, probably won't want to be interviewed with voice chat and subjected to a real life Facebook examination before getting into his fantasy. I'm sorry to say that, from the limited conversations I have had with overt ERP enthusiasts, I haven't seen much caution, or any desire to know anything at all about their partners' real life identities. They've seemed perfectly happy to just assume the other person is a consenting adult without even asking, apparently because their avatar is so very obviously not a child, and children shouldn't be online getting into this sort of thing, and if they are then it's the parent's fault for not being aware of what the kids are doing online!
This is just another way of shirking public responsibility. It's so very tempting to blame the parents for everything in this situation, but before we do so, let's be realistic for a moment: when a parent signs up for cable TV, they know full well that some of those channels have sexual content on late at night. It is their responsibility to judge what their children may or may not watch. When a parent signs up for general internet access, they are likewise aware that pornography is readily available to anyone with even an accidental interest in it, and are responsible for protecting their children in the way they see fit.
But in WoW, their only warning is "Game Experience May Change During Online Play." There is nothing there to warn that children may be exposed to mature content because some other players have decided to go ahead and play out their fantasies with any character that comes along. Indeed, no further warning ought to be necessary -- there is no sexually offensive content in the actual game itself, and players really have no right to inject it in the online public setting anymore than they have a right to do so in a public park or video arcade. It is the right of parents to decide that their child is old enough to watch R-rated movies, but it is not the right of the online player to decide that R-rated content should be good enough for anyone around them, or even anyone who might express an anonymous interest.
In short, if anyone chooses to engage in ERP online with anyone else in WoW, whether in a guild or not, that person has a profound responsibility to be sure the other party is a consenting adult. One can ask directly, interview with voice chat, or even demand a scan of their driver's license along with a picture of their face alongside the screen showing their in-game character. If some people insist on having their very own guild dedicated to ERP, even more care must be taken to insure that others are not negatively affected.
But for those who make ERP into public drama, reveling in all the attention they get, thumbing their noses at the general populace of roleplayers who request them to stop -- there is nothing to do but draw a line. This is the point at which the majority of roleplayers must sadly point a finger and say, "That is not us. We do not engage in this behavior, and we do not condone it."
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Guilds, RP, All the World's a Stage (Roleplaying)
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
Tim the Dad Nov 6th 2007 5:09AM
Thanks for enlightening me. Now I know it is my responsibility as a good parent to keep my kids locked in their rooms with no internet, TV, comic books or friends until they are 18. I should not expect the society I live in to have any role or influence in my kids' development at all.
Now it's off to Home Depot for some padlocks and window bars.
David Bowers Nov 5th 2007 10:34AM
Although I wouldn't put it sarcastically like Tim the Dad, I would wholeheartedly agree that the responsibility for children and youth on the way to adulthood does not rest with the parents alone. Each and every person the child meets has a responsibility to do their best by that child, and help that new person to grow in whatever little way they can. They are the future of the human race after all, not just annoying obstacles in the way of adults' fun.
That doesn't mean we can't enjoy the things that are special for adults, and do the things we are mature enough to handle; but it does mean that we have to respect the different needs of children and keep our own adult things to ourselves.
Sentiments like "If you let kids run around unsupervised in that game you fail at parenting" are merely a copout. Yes, parents do have a huge responsibility to protect their kids, but *so do we*. It doesn't help parents any if some people make their jobs even more difficult by not being considerate or respectful of others around them, all the while pointing our finger and blaming the parents for letting their kids read what we say.
honkhonk Nov 5th 2007 12:14PM
17 - have fun putting your extremist spin on things while trying to offload responsibility for your children from yourself onto everyone else.
Gabon Nov 5th 2007 12:32PM
From the EULA:
'Transmit or post any content or language which, in the sole and absolute discretion of Blizzard, is deemed to be offensive, including without limitation content or language that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, hateful, sexually explicit, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable, nor may you use a misspelling or an alternative spelling to circumvent the content and language restrictions listed above'
Protecting the children, sanatizing the web, etc are all moot points. You agreen not engage in this sort of interaction EVERY TIME you login. Private chat, public chat, voice chat, makes no difference. You want to explore you sexuality online there are a BAZILLON (real word!) other places to do that, when you agree to play WoW you agree to leave that behavior elsewhere.
No, I'm not a prude, but this is not the supreme court, this is not a question of civil liberaties, and freedom of choice mandate a respect for others.
Smurk Nov 5th 2007 1:08PM
Tipper Gore writes for WI?
bearskunk Nov 5th 2007 3:01PM
20 - you certainly noticed that it's Blizzards call to determine where a ToS violation starts. Given the general lack of massbannings they are apparently more lenient in their interpretation of the ToS than you seem to imply.
Rorlins the Dwarf Nov 5th 2007 3:37PM
My bad: the legal dicussion is here:
http://theelfanddwarf.podbean.com/2007/06/25/episode-24-going-postal-v20/
Syna Nov 5th 2007 4:12PM
My bad David. Nice way of working in a reference to 'it takes a village to raise a child'.
Well, THIS member of the village wants parents to do their jobs. I'm pretty sure that if I came up to a kid who I thought was missbehaving and told them to stfu or (heaven's forbid) I smacked them, that the parent would be outraged that I had the audacity to disciple their child. So much for the village huh?
If people want to have ERP guilds etc, more power to them. Sex is not illegal nor immoral. They can recruit like other guilds - specify criteria for admission. There is no foolproof system ('cept to get all the kidiots off teh intarwebs)
:)
Sean Riley Nov 5th 2007 8:23PM
Zechleton@15 wrote: "Trust me, the bad rep of RP-ers has nothing whatsoever to do with ERP-ers, they're just funny to the rest of us. The bad rep comes from the fact that you're all huge nerds who need to escape reality on a daily basis and frankly, on my server at least, we find this hillarious."
Zechleton, just a question: How do you see it as any different to normal play? Why is standing around talking or shouting battle-chants in combat, etc. somehow 'escaping normal life' and 'hilarious' but playing it without those elements not 'escaping normal life'? I'm not trying to be aggressive, but as an RPer from way back who can't imagine the game being any fun without it, I admit, it bewilders me.
I think we need an article on why roleplay is strange and weird from one of those who thinks it strange and weird for us RP folks. :)
David Bowers Nov 5th 2007 11:16PM
Syna, come on -- you know that “stfu” isn’t a good way to talk to children regardless of how they’re behaving. Besides, sharing responsibility for children doesn’t mean that your “job” and the parents’ “job” is entirely the same.
Is the parents’ job is not to constantly monitor everything they read and write in WoW? Is it to never let kids play WoW for fear that they might possibly see inappropriate content? Don’t they have some right to expect other players online to show a little bit of practical consideration for them and their children?
I’ve said several times already that sex itself is neither immoral nor illegal -- it is merely *adult* -- I hope we all agree that kids should not be let into ERP activity. In my article I outlined what a “responsible ERP guild” could be like, and if that’s the kind of guild you’re cheering on, then fine. The problem is that many ERP guilds do not show any of this reasonable restraint -- Oh sure, they say “We’re adult’s only,” but then they invite ERP with any level 2 alt who expresses interest. *Maybe* their assumption that the player behind this alt is an adult is correct -- but practically speaking, they have a "job" to ask and be sure first. They also have a "job" to keep it away from other adults who don't want to see it.
Keep it exclusively adult and exclusively private, and we don’t have a problem anymore.
Scuba Sally Nov 6th 2007 2:20AM
I think #20 hit the nail on the head.
Witty retorts?
Anything?
Theserene Nov 6th 2007 8:12AM
Sorry, but this villager opts out of raising other people's kids for them.
There are language filters in this game and parental controls, surely this should be enough?
Frankly, with the amount of real no-holds-barred swearing and insulting that goes on in Trade most times, I'd be more worried about your child picking up on that than any sex talk.
I'll take reasonable lengths to ensure that no children end up in my guild, i.e. asking their age and judging their maturity level by their responses.
But further than that? No. Sorry, but anything more than that is excessive. This game is not for children, if parents want to let their kids play it, then fine, but they have to keep that fact FIRMLY in their minds at all times:
World of Warcraft is NOT a children's game.
David Bowers Nov 6th 2007 10:11AM
Check the very bottom of a certain website:
http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/index.xml
Rated T for Teen.
Some people may wish it were rated M, but their saying "it's not for kids" doesn't change the letter on the box does it?
And Theserene, please, be real: you're not raising other people's kids. You're watching what you type in an online game so that you don't end up roleplaying sexual activity with minors, or expose them to your doing so with someone else.
And yes, the incessant swearing, bullying, trash talk and other such things are a very real issue for another column and another time.
Rorlins the Dwarf Nov 6th 2007 11:58AM
I don't know why it won't let me comment again but I wanted to put the above link in context.
First, on our podcast we talkeda bout your LEGAL obligations when ERPing, and according our local cybercrimes unit, the law applies to what you are told, no more, no less. If they say they're over 18, then that's the end of that.
As for who's supposed to raise a child, I don't buy that it's up to the village on this one. Parents need to know what their kids are up to, provided that people ERPing are showing Due Dilligence.
Keeping it out of the public thorough fares, and only in guild chat, asking reasonable questions is plenty, and should be allowed. If you want to ERP within your guild, and everyone is a consenting adult (or claims to be) then that is the long and the short of that.
On the other hand, please don't do it publicly in Goldshire. Have your private place and be happy.
Rorlins
http://theelfanddwarf.podbean.com
David Bowers Nov 6th 2007 12:49PM
Rorlins, thanks a lot for that research. It's very helpful to know what the law is in situations like this. If the law says that all you have to do is ask, then that's good enough for me too, I suppose. I've just seen ERPers fail to ask (and fail to be private) often enough that I felt it was necessary to write an article about it, especially in light of certain highly-publicized drama.
Also, where did you get the idea that I'm asking them to help raise other people's children? *ALL* I'm asking for here is this "due diligence" -- keeping it private and keeping it adult. Have I not been clear about this already?
Upon looking back, I think I see what may have caused this confusion: Syna misrepresented me by saying, "Nice way of working in a reference to 'it takes a village to raise a child'." Do children need a healthy support system of more than just two parents? Yes. Should any given individual strive to be a positive influence on children's lives? Yes. "Does it take a WoW RP server to raise a child?" NO.
"Raising a child" is completely different from "being a positive influence on a child" for however many minutes or hours you spend playing with one online. It's like galaxies vs. light bulbs -- these are two totally different categories of responsibility we're talking about here. Parents need to thoroughly understand their children and their activities, yes, but ERPers need to be sure not to accidentally harm those children too.
Theserene Nov 6th 2007 3:26PM
I think the argument occurs in what you call due diligence and what I and others call it.
I call asking someone their age to be perfectly reasonable.
Others however do not think that goes far enough, and THOSE are the people I have problems with. Your article did point out things like showing personal information (i.e. drivers license) to internet strangers which is, in itself a dangerous thing to do.
If you think asking someone's age is acceptable limits then I have no argument with you.
If you want my 'checking' to go beyond that, then I do have a problem with your views.
Theserene Nov 6th 2007 3:28PM
And no, actually, I don't strive to be a positive influence on children's lives. I strive to live my own life to my own values, if I wanted to be a positive influence on a child then I'd have ones of my own.
However, I prefer computers.