Breakfast Topic: Can gear be too ugly?
by Matthew Rossi 
Feb 18th 2008 at 9:00AM
Okay, let's be brutally frank here. Some gear looks bad. Some gear looks really really bad. Last night, as an example, Zul'Aman gave to me the present of the Battleworn Tuskguard. This is one heck of a tanking hat. Take a loot, it's really sweet for a 10 man instance drop. It also makes me look like Big Bird with tusks. Perhaps some unholy Big Bird/Snuffleupagus hybrid. (Long time experience writing for the site tells me that I need a disclaimer here saying that yes, I know Snuffy doesn't have tusks, but it's possible that the hybridization process brought the latent tusks to the fore. Also, I'm a little embarrassed for us all that we all knew that much about Snuffleupagus.) But at the same time, I'm so insanely happy with the hat that I can't bring myself to turn the thing off, so now I'm wandering around Outland as the most lethal looking hawkstrider - elekk hybrid in existence. The weirdest thing is, I really enjoy how insanely awful the hat looks. It looks like what it supposedly is, a battered relic of war ripped from the corpse of a dead troll. It even has a broken tusk.
I have a guildmate with the same hat but he never, ever leaves it turned on. This leads me to wonder: is there gear out there that's so ugly but has such nice stats that you'll never, ever turn it on? Maybe never even wear it? Perhaps I'm unusual in that, the worse my gear looks, the more I like wearing it. Considering that we loot all of this junk off of the broken and battered bodies of our enemies, shouldn't some of it look less than awesome? I actually would hope that Blizzard would design more gear in the future with a 'battle damaged' aesthetic. After all, when a big dragon drops a healing wand, it's not like he was using it. Clearly he took that off of the corpse of a foolhardy adventurer much like ourselves, only less lucky.
So I put the question to you again: is there any gear so awful looking that you won't display it or even wear it outside of encounters? Any gear so horrible that you love wearing it? I am keen to know.
Filed under: Items, Analysis / Opinion, Breakfast Topics
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)
sfrimmel Feb 18th 2008 9:08AM
Brute Cloak of the Ogre-Magi. It clashes horribly with any outfit.
Havitech Feb 18th 2008 9:11AM
I always had some funky purple pointy hat or bright green hood when I was leveling up my mage, and now I have a giant antenna on my head (the season 3 helm). However, I'm a gnome, so I just embrace the ridiculousness.
Zooeyglass Feb 18th 2008 10:44AM
I also embrace the silliness of gear as a gnome mage. I turned off the T4 helm because it just looked like that and my FSW shoulders couldn't physically occupy the same space. I picked up ZA's Hood of Hexing which, like the poster said, is SO ugly, I have to keep it on.
My guildee Aieria has been kind enough to nickname me "Toilethead," which really is an accurate description of how that helm looks on a gnome. A draenei or tauren (eek!) could use me to relieve themselves.
-Willowufgood
Havitech Feb 18th 2008 10:53AM
Also, any headgear with an eye patch graphic is glitched on Night Elf males - it goes through their face! I hid the one I had on my druid until he got an upgrade.
Lucas Feb 18th 2008 11:15AM
We draenei refer to gnome mages as walking toilets, we just scare them into porting away and take a dump through their portal.
Ryathe Feb 18th 2008 9:13AM
Helm of the Stalwart Defender.
Yeah..
I would normally keep my dps helm off visable but once I had to tank I would turn on the graphics to stand in my blue, can opening glory.
Goodtimes
Khanmora Feb 18th 2008 9:12AM
There are two helms from ZA that I wear. I absolutely won't turn on the graphic for Mask of Introspection (pictured in my avatar) b/c my hair cuts through it. And Mojo-Mender's mask which I always have the graphic on for cause I think it looks awesome.
My guildies call me plankhead in the Mask and coat rack in Mojo-Mender's but I personally would much rather be looking at that one than the former. :)
BillDoor Feb 18th 2008 9:12AM
I know many tanks who turn off the graphics when they're wearing Helm of the Stalwart Defender.
Milktub Feb 18th 2008 10:53AM
Bingo.
I just picked one of those up this weekend. Why does it look like I have rear view mirrors attached to my forhead?
Also, that "wolf head" helm from some quest out of Stonebreaker Hold. Sure, nice stats if you get it at the intended level ... but why do I have to look like someone smashed a rodent on my head?
And shields that look like they belong to paladins. I'm a warrior. I want my shield to look like a peice of metal ripped off the side of a blown out Sherman tank, not crafted from star dust and fairy wings.
Keith Feb 18th 2008 9:19AM
My guild has a running joke that an ugly clownsuit of mismatched gear is "Part of the Fury Experience™," since all of our Fury Warriors look awful.
For me as a rogue, if I ever laid hands on a T5 hat, I'd turn it off instantly. Skeletor? No thanks!
Matthew Rossi Feb 18th 2008 9:52AM
"I am filled with rage primarily due to my yellow and pink outfit! LOOK AT IT!!! IT DOESN'T MATCH! ARRRRGH!"
Yeah, I know the pain. I once wore mixed BWL/AQ40 epics. I looked like the mascot for an incredibly poorly conceived chain of crawdad fast food.
Sylythn Feb 18th 2008 8:25PM
Yes, oh god yes...the new ZA/badge gear is a perfect example of this. I know Blizz prides itself on their shoulders - but dear god I want to hide mine. I've got it hard enough going from a kickass-looking all black and red dps set to having to include some pink/purple T4 gear (tabard and hiding the helm helped most of it), but then I had to go and upgrade my shoulders to the badge gear...I now have troll skulls on my shoulders and it looks like crap. The new ZA/badge gear looks cool if that's all you have - but mix it in with other stuff and it just looks awful.
I know they don't want to consider multiple color pallettes for gear, but I really feel like a lot of the clashing armor would be solved by letting you alter your piece's color palette a bit.
JParris Feb 18th 2008 9:29AM
Before I got my s3 helm, my druid used Helm of the Claw for tanking. It is neon green. No joke. Ugh, I NEVER left that crap turned on. Ahahaha.
Switch4475 Feb 18th 2008 8:39PM
Oh GOD I remember that helm. It truly was absolutely terrible. The moment I got it I knew that the time for putting off farming for the Stylin' Purple Hat had come and gone in an instant.
Spiritofire Feb 18th 2008 9:32AM
Grand Marshall Silk Reginement Spaulders, they were ok when I dinged 70, I was always fun to pretend to poke people's eyes out with the spikes. I wish their was a troll caster dps mask that drops out of ZA...
aak7268 Feb 18th 2008 9:33AM
Trouncing around in the Barrens, I remember getting a pair of "Woolies" w/ some really awesome stats. Equipped it immediately, only to be confronted w/ the image of my Troll's backside, barely covered w/ furry underwear. I'd already sold my other set of pants, so it was a rather embarrasing run to Org. and the AH to find *anything* that didn't leave me looking like a Troll in a diaper.
Tridus Feb 18th 2008 9:35AM
That flaming shield from ZA with the spinning coin is one of the ugliest items ever made. I feel sorry for the Paladins who get stuck wearing that thing.
In general, yes. There are items so ugly that stats or no stats, I don't want to wear them. Fortunately not may Priest healing items fall into that category.
(This is one of the reasons I want a clothing slot like LotRO has now. You can "equip" a second set of items for looks only. No stats from them apply, but you get to look like whatever is in those slots instead of what you're really wearing. It makes up for the godawful art Blizzard puts out on some of these items.)
jaxson_bateman Feb 18th 2008 9:52AM
I disagree. Goes great with most of my other gear. =)
ogletree Feb 18th 2008 9:53AM
this has been the problem for druids since the start. The best gear for druids is the resto dungeon set.
ThorinII Feb 18th 2008 9:46AM
My 41 male BElf priest picked up Robe of the Magi a few lvls back. It is a hideously girly lavender robe that is U-G-L-Y!! It is a blue with nice stats, so I have little choice but to wear it until something else drops. I have been laughed at several times by complete strangers. Thankfully I've since learned shadow form. That helps a LOT!