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Well Fed Buff: Spicy Dwarven Cocoa

Every Thursday, Well Fed Buff will be serving up the tastiest dishes to boost your HP and stats, just in time for your weekend gaming.

Are you a great adventurer who has been feeling lackluster about your predictable endeavors? Do you find yourself thinking, "my tongue is bored" or "I could have sworn I already killed Moroes multiple times". Have you been feeling the need for adrenaline?

Well, move over Mana Energy Potion. All you need is an ancient dwarven recipe and you'll be up on your toes in no time!

Spicy Dwarven Cocoa combines the spicy and the sweet in this thick, hot beverage that'll grow hair on your tongue. With several different alarm levels, and two or three separate sets of buffs, you won't want to pass up this recipe. User beware: each choice you make with every step and measurement can turn this concoction into anything from an uplifting treat to a fire-breathing dragon with a cherry on top!
The tools:
  • One small to medium saucepan, and stove.
  • A measuring cup.
  • A heat-safe whisk or wooden spoon.
  • Measuring spoons.
  • A strainer.
  • A sharp knife.
  • A cutting board.
  • A ladle.
  • A heat-safe medium-sized mixing bowl.
  • Four mugs.
The mats:
  • 2 cups of milk.
  • 1 cup of water.
  • 1 small red bell pepper, or half of a large one.
  • 1/8th to 1/4 of a teaspoon of chili powder. For the fearless adventurer, try amounts up to 2 tablespoons.
  • 1/4 cup of raw cocoa powder.
  • 1/4 cup of white sugar.
To begin, you will want to measure out your dry ingredients into your bowl. This will include the sugar, the cocoa powder, and chili powder. Rinse mixing bowl.

You will want to prepare your red bell pepper before we begin any cooking. Place the pepper on your cutting board, and using your knife, cut it into long strips, removing seeds. Wrap up remainder of pepper, if any, and place in the fridge, or eat it as a snack while you cook.
At this point, you will need to make a choice on your wet ingredients. This recipe will yield a thick hot chocolate, while some people prefer a thinner version, with more milk or water to dry ingredients ratio. If so, add extra liquid to taste throughout the process.

Heat your stove element to a low heat. Combine water and dry ingredients into your saucepan, and place over heat. Cook and stir with your whisk or spoon for about 5 minutes.

Add your bell pepper strips to the pot, and bring the mixture to a simmer. At this point, you can slowly add the milk. Continue cooking for another 10 to 15 minutes. Place your strainer into your mixing bowl, and slowly pour the contents of the saucepan into the bowl, through the strainer. This should catch clumps of undissolved powder as well as the red bell pepper pieces.
Remove strainer, and grab your ladle. You should be able to easily scoop the hot mixture into your four mugs, although you might get a few drip-attacks that any paper towel can combat.

Customization
Now it is time to adjust to your taste. Leave some room at the top of your mug for a little cold milk, if you like. You could also spray some whipped cream or add a marshmallow or two. Adults might choose to add a spoonful or two of a sweet liquor for some mid-winter dwarven cheer.

You could also experiment with other ingredients during the cooking process, either as additions or substitutions. Try using ginger, cinnamon hearts, or instant coffee. You could also add a touch of flavored Coffee-mate, or some egg-nog in December.

As a side dish, I recommend a scoop of rich vanilla ice cream, a slice of coffee cake, or a butter tart. Of course, cookies are always a favorite hot cocoa companion.
Why this is the perfect gaming snack
This adventurous beverage will clear your sinuses, delight some, and defeat others. When prepared properly, it will wake you up and boost your battle focus. When mixed too potently, it is best served with whipped cream and a cherry on top to your favorite competitors.

This snack can be gobbled up while raiding or PvPing, as it is not finicky and will not give you sticky fingers. Your best bet is to consume while waiting to be re-spawned or resurrected, or while your character is taking a mana/food break.

Buffs
Each mug of Spicy Dwarven Cocoa has a 50/50 chance that it will turn out to be too potent. If so, this beverage awards +5 to all fear effects used against you, +10 to your social laughability rating, and -7 to comfort. You'd best have a pair of [Comfortable Insoles] handy just in case! When mixed properly, each mug awards +8 to adrenaline, +5 to focus, and +10 to your urge to battle.

Both versions add +20 chocolate power! If liquor is added, this beverage affords an additional +2 stamina and +10 "slippery lip syndrome'.

But how, you may ask, can you tell whether your particular mug will bring greatness and honor, or pain and laughter? Consider this; was the chef friend or foe, a Master cook, or a Journeyman?

Filed under: Dwarves, Cooking, How-tos, Humor, Buffs, Well Fed Buff

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