Breakfast Topic: Is it possible to /gquit gracefully?
by Daniel Whitcomb 
Mar 8th 2008 at 8:00AM
Inspired by this thread on the official forums, I have a pretty simple question: How do you view guild quitting? Is it possible to gquit with dignity? Is it possible to leave behind a guild with no bad feelings and as little malice as possible on the part of the quitter and the guild? Unfortunately, it happens to the best of guilds, sometimes things just fall apart and EVERYONE leaves at once. It's also true that a lot of us know of at least one spectacular /gquit that spawned a multi-page "grab the popcorn" type thread on the server boards. Sometimes it's over loot. Sometimes it's over repeated wipes or perceived lack of skill or dedication on the part of a raid group or raid members. Sometimes it's over emotional issues or personality clashes. Sometimes, even if the /gquit seems relatively benign, there ends up being some underlying problems that come to the surface and explode at some later date, like a ticking time bomb.
Now, myself, I believe it's possible. I've seen friendships survive gquits, as much as all the drama that makes it to server boards and blogging sites would suggest that that isn't possible. Sometimes you just need a new experience, or your goals and your guild's goals diverge, and there's nothing wrong with that. With enough grace and aplomb from both sides, you can simply agree to part ways, and go on. Heck, sometimes you can even continue grouping and pooling resources even while you have separate guild tags. Of such things are guild alliances formed!
What do you think? Is drama nearly unavoidable when it comes time to /gquit? Who's at fault when it crops up? And how do you avoid it?
Filed under: Virtual selves, Guilds, Breakfast Topics
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Zark Mar 8th 2008 8:36AM
I had to /gquit a guild once. We didn't really get along very well back then - me and many people with the guild. But when the time came, I said my goodbyes, left and went peacefully, without causing any drama at all.
Ryan Mar 8th 2008 12:21PM
That's what you think.
Wikt Mar 9th 2008 10:11AM
Oh?
Aephid Mar 8th 2008 8:41AM
I've had three people within the past week and a half gquit. One was during the meeting I was having to iron out issues. He didn't even wait until the end - he just randomly left in the middle of it and instantly joined some other guild. The other gquit in the middle of the night when no one was on (my favorite), and has been guild hopping ever since.
And then last night, a close friend of the two who gquit finally came back from vacation to see they were gone, caused a scene for about two minutes (to which no one even responded or pretended to care), and then gquit. So here we have three types of gquitting in a week - one who left without a word in front of everyone, one who waited until everyone was logged off to do it, and then one who went on a crazy tirade before doing it.
Even if you work really hard as a guild leader, you're going to have people gquitting. If these people happen to be drama llamas and you aren't sad to see them go (I wasn't) then chances are they just weren't a good fit for your guild anyway and it's for the best. I wouldn't say it's unavoidable, but I'd like to meet a guild that has been active for many months that has not had a single person gquit.
Belgarath Mar 8th 2008 9:07AM
Well i agree that is is very much possible to /gquit without having hard feelings, but also agree that when emotions come into play it can be tough to do that.
Example : a while ago I was a long time member and class leader of a raiding guild and the assitant guild leaders wife was also a mage who fell under my "class leader" assignments. At this time we were running Molten Core (wow a blast from the past) and the officers were the ones who decided on who received loot, and not even class leaders had a vote in this matter. Well for about a week every mage epic that dropped went to the officers wife with no discussion at all. It was becoming a daily task to deal with numerous tells from fellow mages complaining, and while i myself was getting upset I was also very quiet about my feelings since I thought it would stop. Finally it came to a head after a raid and was being discussed in officer chat away from the general membership, but the mage's husband and officer decided to take it to general guild channel and get a lot of drama started. In hindsight I think they felt it was only me and they would get some sympathy from the membership by playing the "i am picking on his wife" card, but it was the exact opposite.
To sy the least a lot of things were said in anger and emotions were running high, and it cost the guild 2/3's of it members that evening and left a lot of people with hard feelings. I never raided with a member of that guild again.
Now that is one extreme but yet on the other just several days ago i left a guild i had been with for several months. I had spoken with the guild leadership and my friends in the guild and explained why i was leaving and they were all supporitive and i feel that i left under "good" terms. Actualy i have even grouped with several of there members since leaving and they have all been supporitive.
jaxson_bateman Mar 8th 2008 9:13AM
I have to admit, in cases like this, a bit of drama is justified. People this greedy should not be in power, and sometimes drama can bring about change - whether it's the change of their mindset to being less greedy, causing the guild to prosper, or the change of faith in the guild, causing a lot of people to leave and hopefully new people being reluctant to join a guild. It's not necessary a bad thing.
jaxson_bateman Mar 8th 2008 9:04AM
Depends on the intelligence and maturity of the person /gquitting really. Hopefully they're level headed to see that causing drama when they leave will bring no good to either them or the guild, but a nice, polite farewell should leave no justified hard feelings.
I've seen a few people gquit over the year. The last 2 that left left pretty big holes - but they were nice about it, we were nice about it, and the guild moved on.
PeeWee Mar 8th 2008 9:14AM
Wasn't this very topic covered some weeks ago?
Calaana Mar 8th 2008 10:17AM
Yeah, it was. Guess someone missed the memo.
makabak Mar 8th 2008 9:38AM
I have (and also know people who) have /gquit with no hard feelings. Usually the following are required:
1. The current guild is a casual one.
2. The /gquitter has good relationships with most people in the guild.
3. The /gquitter is joining a progression guild.
4. The /gquitter leaves an alt or two in the casual guild.
5. Both the /gquitter and the casual guild as a whole have their heads on straight, and realize WoW is a game, and 'we're all friends here.'
twf Mar 8th 2008 12:03PM
This list is spot-on for my one and only /gquit.
Vulajin Mar 9th 2008 5:54AM
Strongly agree here. This was exactly the formula when I left my first guild. It was a casual guild, I was looking for progression, but still very much liked everyone in the casual guild. I told them of my decision, had a one-on-one with just about every member of the guild in Vent to thank them for everything, and went on my way.
I still keep in touch with the members of that guild, even though several have also gone their separate ways and the original officers transferred servers.
Samarola of Scarlet Crusade Mar 8th 2008 9:54AM
Actually yes it is very possible. Being that our guild has been around for 3 years and is one of the few large guilds remaining after BC; I can honestly say that I have probably a neutral or positive response 80% of the time when people leave guild. We aren't a heavy end game guild and focus more on the positive aspect of gaming, it's rare that even if people don't say something that guild members have a negative response. I think the only time we have had an honest to god negative response was when guild members who didn't get what they wanted out of guild, IE demanding being power leveled or easy access to the bank, make snide remarks. Which in turn basically leaves a negative mark against them for grouping with guildies and a permanent they-don't-come-back note and we all point and laugh.
And in the past, members who caused "drama" actually were CHEERED when they gquitted. Including the ever so hated temporary co-guildleader but everyone didn't want to tell me for fear they would make me choose sides.
joyu Mar 8th 2008 10:12AM
in my guild we are the 2nd of progression on the server so you see people /gquiting to go to the first one. There was one case which the player gquited and nobody called him "epichunter" but requires at least 2 month without playing:
1º stay 1 month without play and say you are going to gquit because u are wasting a spot on the guild
2º make an aply one moth later saying on the aply that the previous guild has advanced and you feel bad for geting items of farmed bosses and bla bla bla.
Combatc87 Mar 8th 2008 10:34AM
We lost a good bit of our members about two months ago(one of whom was the Guild Leader), and yet had no drama or fancy drawn out leave. The reason is because we play on a server based on Mountain time zone, and these members were from Singapore and Australia, so it was VERY tough for them to continue playing with us (as they had for the past two years). So they decided to transfer their mains to an Oceanic server.
There was no drama because we all respected them and knew that this was the best thing for them to do.
Rob Mar 8th 2008 10:43AM
It's not complicated.
1. Tell the guild your intentions. Don't just disappear.
2. Be honest. Don't say your grandfather died and you have to take some time off from the game and then transfer servers.
3. When possible, give the guild time to find your replacement.
Smurrf Mar 8th 2008 10:52AM
I spent more than a year in the same guild I joined when I initially came in. The guild was a casual friends and family guild, but has slowly moved to a casual raiding guild. I got to experience my guild's first MC clear, first ZG clear, first Ony kill, and was in almost every guild first kill in Karazhan (I think I missed only Attumen and Curator). Yet we'd been struggling to find numbers, and there was major issues with how things were bing ran. I even pursued officership, but every suggestion I made was shot down or ignored. Our guild leader ran off other senior officers, and I was left with the very real prospect of never seeing anything beyond Gruul's (which we had not killed yet).
I discussed my desire to leave with the GL and his wife, and while they wanted me to stay, I simply couldn't stay without being miserable. I gave the other officers advance notice, discussed options for me leaving (it was decided that in the middle of the night would be best, instead of doing it during prime time...since /gquits seem to cause a lot of drama in this guild), and even offered to stay on to train up another tank for another couple of weeks. That offer was declined, and rightfully so.
The trouble came later...I pulled my alts out of the guild, and was almost immediately branded a traitor, and when I continued grouping with friends in the guild for five mans, they would get pestered with 'what, are you going to quit now too?' from the GL. There was never anything said directly to me from him, but there was a whole lot of poisonous comments that made their way to me through the grapevine.
I tried as hard as I could to leave gracefully and with no ill will...but their actions upon my leaving has burned any bridge I might have had with the guild as a whole, save for a few certain friends.
Hould Mar 8th 2008 1:02PM
I left a guild once because of drama, left for the Horde to take a break. I ended up gquitting late at night because I still had a lot of friends in the guild who didn't want me to leave and it was easier on all of us for me to do so when no one was on.
About four or five months went by and after returning to the Alliance side I was asked to come back to the guild and did so. The drama is over, thankfully, and I'm back with my friends.
silastical Mar 8th 2008 12:18PM
Frostwhisper Eu - Silastical
I've left three or four times now. First gquit was when i was just leveling with a noob guild and we basically just chatted. It was not that serious never and soon I found myself being the only guy online. Second guild kicked me for not being online for a month or so. I had many friends there and they're cool with me nowadays and i play more. Third guild was a chat/help guild. We never did pvp or pve together. It was just for talking bs and if someone got ganked we helped each other out.
Now the biggest drama I had was with the fourth guild. Im not even actually sure how it all happened cause I had no bad thoughts about anyone. Here we go:
We went to Karazhan and since I was a real raid noob I didnt know a thing bout any boss so i had to ask tips all the time cause i was offtank/dps (druid). Soon I assume a mage got annoyed for me asking lots and we were gonna do the chess event. I said im not good at chess and the mage goes "what 're you good at :P". I thought it as an offence but pretty much just laughed since I know im no Jesus :) Then we got to a fight where i offtanked some mob and i didnt get any heals and i died for it so i threw a little joke "im good at dieing without getting heals". And it wasn't meant to be offence of anyones playing. It was just reality and fitted the situation well.
Now it all happened. A healer starts to whisper me that "F*ck off!" "Omg you're full of s*ît!" and i desperately try to say im sorry and i didnt mean to blame him for dieing. I didnt even care i died, i just threw a stabbing joke back at the mage that's all and i thought they'd understand what happened.
Then i just had to quit cause i thought everyone hated me for being the noob raider who asked questions but still did his offtanking job well. I had no idea it could come to this point. I didnt want to be inna guild that used such bad words towards me and if they really thought i blamed them for something they missed my point really. I understand it's hard to heal when there's two healers in a raid. And to be honest as a tank i appreciate healers very much.
I wish all the best for the *insert guild name here*. No hard feelings and good luck with kara :)
Ophelos Mar 8th 2008 12:39PM
I've /gquit alot of guilds because i've been trying to find a nice raiding guild to become apart of.. An each time i come across a so called raiding guild turns out to be a guild that likes to pickup pugs instead of other guild members or they bs'ed about what the guild really does.
but i never say why i left etc..