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The 7 best trinkets in the World of Warcraft

You know, if there's one thing I have noticed digging through my bags, it's that I have a whole mess of trinkets. Of all the gear slots, it seems like trinkets are some of the most versatile and swappable. Depending on whether you need a bit more hit rating, a bit more critical strike rating, a bit more mana regeneration, a bit more health, a bit more armor, or you plan to go PvPing for a bit, you can fill up bags upon bags alone with a whole bunch of trinkets, waiting for the right moment to spring them.

Then there's the really bad ass trinkets. I'm not talking trinkets that are traditionally defined as "useful," I'm talking about the trinkets that make you into the life of the party. The ones that make other people notice you, make them stand up and say, "Woah, that guy is using some CRAZY trinkets." You know what I mean. Stop trying to get yourself that Ashtongue Talisman, these are the REAL deal.

7. Orb of Deception: Admittedly, this is one of the slightly less awesome trinkets. You can't choose what race you are (each race turns into a pre-specified opposite race). You can't even choose your clothes, as the Illusion comes with a pre-set set of clothes...set. Well, anyway, you don't get to choose your clothes. They even took away the old trick that would allow you to become the opposite gender using the orb and a Noggenfogger Elixir. That said, it's still pretty fun to turn into the opposite faction 5 minutes out of every half hour, and the sight of a Tauren riding a Mechanostrider (or a Gnome riding a Kodo) is worth the price of admission all by itself. By the way, if you're looking for this, check the auction house first. It's an old world drop from level 55+ mobs.

6. Time-Lost Figurine: This is sort of like the Orb of Deception, except slightly cooler, because you get to turn into an Arrakoa. Despite some of the dropped lore possibilities, Arrakoa manage to pass the awesome test pretty easily (even easier if you're a Dark Crystal fan), and there's apparently a few models of them you turn into. You only get 5 minutes every half an hour, just like the Orb of Deception, but being a honking big birdman is probably worth it. Of course, the only problem is that you have to kill Terokk to get it, and summoning him can be just a bit of a pain.

5. Cannonball Runner: Okay, so the big problem with the ships in WoW is that there's no big spiffy cannons that you can fire to repel invaders -- or to soften up a ship before you board it and swoop up booty and all that. However, I am still a pirate at heart, and so I must always find a way to live up to the pirate creed one way or another. To me, this trinket is right up there with the Swashbuckler's Sash as a must-get for the dedicated Warcraft pirate. Sure, you have to go a bit inland and raid a Scarlet Crusade stronghold, but a good pirate isn't afraid to knock a few lubber heads together to get some booty. Once you have this, you are free to fire a broadside at your enemies once every 5 minutes.

4. Barov Peasant Caller: You may be a wandering landless vagabond who has to sleep in Inns or out under the stars every night, but you can feel like a proper noble with 3 servants to cook, clean, and die horribly fight for you if you pick up this trinket. All you have to do is raid a scary haunted necromancy school for a few pieces of paper, then kill a guy, and you too can feel like proper lord or lady with servants to boss around. For a few seconds. Every 10 minutes. And you can't actually boss them around that much, they'll pretty much attack whoever they feel like that's nearby, no matter what you want them to do. Well, nothing's perfect.

3. Tiny Voodoo Mask: This one's awesomeness is easy to articulate: You get to summon Gnomes in Voodoo Masks. How is that not the most deliciously twisted thing ever? If you still need convincing, consider this: With this trinket, you can be assured that 3 Gnomes will die at least once every 15 minutes, or once every 10 minutes when 2.4 goes live. Seriously, if are not currently inspired to go kill Hex Lord Malacrass over and over until he drops this, please make sure you still have a pulse (Note to all Gnomes: I love you guys, you are awesome, please do not kill me).

2. Vanquished Tentacle of C'thun: Just when you thought it could not get any sweeter, it does. Voodoo Gnomes? Oh no, my friend. We aren't stopping there. This time, we are calling upon the power of TENTACLES. Not only that, but you can summon one every 3 minutes. I mean, this thing has got to be the scariest thing ever in battlegrounds. You think that Shadow Priest over there is easy pickings? As if! Who needs Pain Suppression when you are backed up by your number one buddy, a massive tentacle? If you can grab a Terestian's Stranglestaff to back you up, don some sinister black robes, and start calling upon the Great Old Ones, no one will doubt your power. Unfortunately, for power like this, you have to work pretty hard. Good luck getting about 39 other crazy people together to go clear all of AQ40 and kill C'thun!

1. Shard of the Fallen Star: It was really a tough call between this and the tentacle, but in the end, I had to go for the shard. Summoning a tentacle is one thing, but summoning a very meteor from its lonesome path through the heavens and dropping it upon the head of your enemy is perhaps one of the most awe inspiring sights I have yet seen in World of Warcraft. I have seen nearly wiped raids recover in an instant because of it. I have seen the most powerful beings in all of Azeroth fall before its might. For maximum effect, please whisper "M... Meteo!" just before using it. If you can follow this up with various members of your party warning you that you are too old to cast the spell and that it will destroy you utterly, so much the better. Immediately dying after you use it and lamenting that your quest for vengeance has bought you to a bad end is optional, of course. Once again, you have to work to get your hot little hands on this, but if you are incredibly lucky, you might kill two birds with one stone and get this off of an AQ40 trash mob while you're trying to get your tentacle.

Yeah, that's it. That's my personal list. Sure, they're not always exactly what you'd traditionally call "powerful" or "useful," but who cares what other people think about your gear choices when you can summon an army of Gnomes or creep out your friends and fellow AH watchers with a random tentacle?

Filed under: Items, Humor, Lore, RP

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