MMO Couples tells you how to find love online
by Mike Schramm 
Apr 9th 2008 at 8:00PM
MMO Couples is a new blog about "how people successfully combine online gaming and relationships," and it's a pretty interesting read, whether you're a fan of online gaming or romance in general. It's written by "Gabi," a woman who met her boyfriend in WoW (she tells the story on the site), and while there's not much to read through there yet, it does seem like it might be an interesting look at how couples find themselves in virtual worlds.There are also some tips on how to find love in a virtual world, and I like how down-to-earth they are: communicate as much as possible, be realistic, have a backup plan. Online romances are often full of drama, and it seems pretty tough to get a good relationship out of having met in a place where the whole point is that you're pretending to be someone you're not.
But a site like this would help fix some of that -- providing a community and a forum for folks in online relationships would probably help everybody involved.
[Via Wonderland]
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Fan stuff, Virtual selves, Odds and ends
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Thander Apr 9th 2008 11:05PM
I think this whole idea is limited at best. Eventually, there's going to have to be some real world interaction for the relationship to continue. I don't see any problem with having an online relationship, even a long term one, but there's a point where the relationship can't get any better without meeting in person.
Jewbanks Apr 10th 2008 1:40AM
But the idea of meeting someone totally estranged to physical appearance and their confidence of handling themselves in a new situation with someone they may be a attracted to is indeed a romantic one. And the story is somewhat sweet and somewhat reeking of betrayal. Either way it is a sentiment worth blogging about.
Sean Riley Apr 10th 2008 4:02AM
I met my current girlfriend in a MUSH, so it's not impossible. Lasting relationships, even marriages, begin in MMOs.
nekkiddo Apr 10th 2008 12:42AM
cannibalize ftw!
Dixonij Apr 10th 2008 2:15AM
So the blogger was essentially cheating on her boyfriend who gave her the game... Wow sucks to be him. Worst gift ever.
Magma Apr 10th 2008 2:51AM
So what I gathered is after a TEN, TEN year relationship, she dumped him for a guy in a game. Wow. Fucking Bitch.
Zach Apr 10th 2008 3:07AM
The idea is nice, but I wasn't inspired by the first entry which tells the story of the blogger who was in a 10-year relationship before she ended it in favor of someone she'd met online. The way she tells it, it seems apparent that she was having an online affair with the guy before she broke up with her boyfriend. I suppose it happens.
I'm sure the couple is happy now; more power to them. I just can't quite empathize with their bliss.
anonymoose Apr 10th 2008 3:41AM
I feel compelled to point out that she noted her original boyfriend was a hardcore gamer and that originally she was not. I would imagine this likely led to a lot of "alone time" or her while he would play. Also, it's important to note that there was no mention of the original boyfriend leveling with her in WoW, and she ended up meeting her current boyfriend because (again) she was alone.
While there is a certain amount of betrayal, I think the reasons people who are in relationships and become enamored of WoW *independent* of their spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. are likely not because they are so completely happy and satisfied. The game brings not only challenges, adventure and new experiences--as a social experience, it brings camraderie.
I've never had the type of ingame experiences that this blogger describes, although I've watched a few around me (including those who hook up IRL and develop sweet relationships, as well as those who are married and create a trail of wreckage when they become "intimate" in WoW with people they are not married to). I know in my case, my interest in WoW kept going because of the camraderie--something that I eventually realized was lacking in my marriage. (Yes, I'm in divorce proceedings now.)
In the future it's possible I'd like a man who shared WoW as an interest with me--but that's so far from my interests right now it's really hard to imagine. Mostly I continue to enjoy the camraderie of my guild mates, and in game friends I've made through PvP and raiding.
Bloodthorn Apr 10th 2008 4:08AM
while it might be sucky to lose out in such a long relationship, I kinda agree with hte above post. Something like this would not have happened if she had been happy and satisfied in her previous relationship. Some people seem to think that soemone out there just dumps yearlong spouses on a whim, which in my experience rarely happens (and trust me, a person like that is not someoen you wants to hold on to anyways).
People don't dump spouses and go having an affair just because the opportunity is there (otherwise we'd see A LOT more of these situations) but because they are fundamentally unhappy and/or unsatisfied with their current state in their (love)life. Again, if your special someone is able to dump you or cheat on you just on a whim, you don't really want to hold on to them, better fish in the sea, truly.
If they are unhappy you should care, if not, you're not the ones for each other, simple as that. Let's not make life more complicated than it already is :
Mr. Smite Apr 10th 2008 4:22AM
The fact is it is still dishonest, and after a ten year relationship (which was apparantely very happy) it may, and quite probably will, happen again. Still I hope it doesn't and hope they both live happily ever---- er...well, stay together. ~^
I met my girlfriend on WoW without any secrecy or betrayal, and I agree it is a great way to meet if you're quite shy in person (like she and I are).
Bloodthorn Apr 10th 2008 4:38AM
Well yeah, in essence it is, and as soon as you find out that the other thing is not working and this is what you want, I'd say the most responsible thing to do is end the other relationship, before you carry on with your new interest :)
Tenchan Apr 10th 2008 4:46AM
Mr. Smite, nowhere in the story does she mention that her previous relationship was happy. It may come as a surprise to many (especially younger people), but a 'steady' relationship does not equal happiness. Many relationships are steady because of habits, rituals or 'nothing better' happening.
That she seems to have had this affair in secrecy for a while is the only thing I cannot fully condone, but I can understand being afraid of speaking up right away. Other than that, good luck to the two.
Tcgjarhead Apr 10th 2008 4:48AM
I'd say the most responsible thing to do is end the other relationship, before you carry on with your new interest :)
Agreed, she pulled an asshole move by basically cheating on her boyfriend with this dude, even if it was only over a game.
Hellskreamer Apr 10th 2008 11:17AM
Although being unhappy in a relationship may make it more understandable why someone cheats, it doesn't make it right.
Tatiyanna Apr 10th 2008 8:16AM
Only question, she fails to mention exactly why she wasn't happy in the previous relationship, but leans towards the fact that he was a hardcore gamer. But she makes no mention of ever trying to play with him or try sharing the game together.
I believe this same one has been talked about here in the past and in my opinion there is nothing new to gain from it. As for her personally, all I can say is Karma.
zappo Apr 10th 2008 11:45AM
Well the story is meant to paint a rosy picture of a WoW relationship, but you can sort of read between the lines and make a few likely assumptions. She mentions that he was a hardcore gamer. She also talks about getting WoW as a gift, then playing her character by herself. Alright if there is one LOGICAL thing to do in this entire scenario, it's that you roll an alt and play with your significant other. She joins a guild that doesn't seem to be related to her then boyfriend which also indicates that they were totally detached in-game. Were these two even on the same server?
The entire scenario is screaming "neglect". I'm willing to bet that she was not only neglected in-game, but out of the game as well. Over time it is highly likely that the entire relationship was stale and they were coasting on autopilot.
Delilah Apr 10th 2008 8:55AM
To everyone who is judging this woman based on her previous relationship: she actually says very little about its end. You're just making assumptions. Maybe her ex was abusive. Maybe he cheated on her first. Maybe she realized that feeling more emotionally intimate with someone online whom she had never even seen than she did with the guy she had bought real estate with was a sign that she just didn't love her bf anymore. (Which, by the way, is not a bitch move, that's ending a relationship when it needed to be ended. That's a mature thing to do.)
The point is, she doesn't say, so we don't know. She's not blogging about old relationships, she's blogging about how to start and maintain new ones, so maybe comments should focus on that instead of judging someone else's personal life on the basis of a few vague sentences.
Matt Apr 10th 2008 9:02AM
I love it. She becomes sexually attracted to a Nelf huntard named Tofukiller. I'd have laughed if she got the picture of him and it was a 13 year old boy.
Also, call me old fashioned, but I prefer to base my attraction to a human upon actually BEING with them. Meeting online just seems so detached and...unromantic.
josef Apr 10th 2008 9:11AM
You mean admiring someone with social skills and a lovely personality is less romantic than a simple physical attraction based soley on feelings from your libido? In that case, yes you are very old fashioned, 3000 BC may be more your time period
Matt Apr 10th 2008 10:19AM
Being with someone != solely sexual attraction.
I just think meeting online and calling it love is weird.