Ask WoW Insider: Making friends on a new server
by Mark Crump 
May 19th 2008 at 9:00AM
Good afternoon to all the staff at Wow Insider. My name is Matt, early 20's, and am having a problem making new friends on a new server.
I recently Paid Character Transfer'd to Xavius EU from Balnazzar EU, and as they were looking for a hunter for Black Temple I was recruited to a guild without an application. Although this goes against popular opinion from a few of the people on my old server, I believe that creating an application provides a formal introduction of both yourself as a character and a person. I went from raid leading and being an important member of a T5 clearing guild to a new recruit and trial member in a T6 almost-cleared guild. The step down has been difficult for me to take, and the feeling of not being able to make decisions has shell-shocked me a little bit.
My issue is, how does one go about creating new friendships and relationships on a completely new server and with a guild that contains no-one you know? Balnazzar had a thriving IRC channel, shared in-game chat channel between members of varying guilds, and a fantastic Wow Europe realm forum - Xavius doesn't seem to have any of these: the IRC channel is unfriendly and quiet, no shared channel and the realm forum is full of useless troll posts. The guild seem to forget that I've pretty much got no-one to speak to on the new server, and I've spent more time on my other two 70's on Balnazzar than my hunter. Raids are fantastic, and I know that if I was accepted into the more social aspect of the guild I'd enjoy it a lot more than I currently am, but if the situation doesn't change I will probably look elsewhere, which is a shame because the new guild is a really solid, well structured and mostly friendly place to be.
Azuredream
70 Draenei Hunter
<Destiny Awaits>
Xavius
Slothie
70 Draenei Paladin
Mithranda
70 Gnome Mage
<International Chaos>
Balnazzar
There was brief period of time when I considered a server move. My guild had imploded and an RL friend had just started playing. Instead of starting on my server, he started on one that a lot of his co-workers were on. I told him if he got to 70, I'd swap servers. I ended up getting into a great guild and at level 70 he moved over to my server instead.
I'm not sure why you moved, but since I'm not a raider my understanding of raider issues is right up there with my understanding of tax laws for the rich -- pretty much zilch.
Therefore, I'm just going to turn this one over to the commenters who are raiders. Anyone able to help a raider out?
Got questions? Don't wait! Send them to us at ask AT wowinsider DOT com and your query could be up in lights here next week.
Filed under: Guilds, Raiding, Ask WoW Insider
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
jrb May 19th 2008 9:12AM
simple. Be nice, be friendly, be funny, be helpful. If that means looking up AH prices for people that don't know how to install auctioneer, then so be it. if that means helping them install addons, do quests, go on instance runs you've not been doing for years, greet people when they come online, ask how they are, make conversation, donate to the guild bank, then so be it.
FireStar May 19th 2008 10:26AM
I think the "be helpful" part is almost more important than the others. If you provide helpful tips, and in a political correct way so as to not hurt their pride, you can almost guarantee they'll add you to their friends list. I know when I play on one of my chars, it's not uncommon over a course of a couple days to get whispers from at least 3 different people asking for advice on something. Reply with good advice and maybe with a witty comment and you've graduated from advice giver to something a bit more personal. Be sure to complement them when you see them use your advice and do it well.
Alexandra Olaru May 19th 2008 10:57AM
If your guild has a forum (decently active), it will be easy to make new friends. I've never been in a guild w/o a forum, so I'll assume yours has one too.
You didn't had to make an application? That's no problem, you can simply post an introduction about yourself. After that, things will go by themselves. Reply on people's threads, post stuff yourself (anything from funny media till last moment news.. ) and in a week or two people will already know who you are.
***
Second as importance is, imo, TS / Ventrilo during raids. Talk (not too much ofc :P). But don't stay quiet. Or at least use the raid chat or the class channel.
Specially since you say you were a raid leader, you probably have a good combat awareness, and can bring useful suggestions. As long as you keep them in the "guys, if we do X, it might help" line, and don't go "what a shit strategy you're using".
Most important thing in making new friends, is communication, which has to come from you. Guild chat, vent, forums.. etc :)
Druid dude May 19th 2008 1:26PM
I tend to disagree here about piping up during raids and giving advice. Though he may know what he is talking about, there isn't much that will get him shunned faster than being that new guy that comes in and suddenly wants to tell everyone what they are doing wrong. This probably goes triple for him since he jumped from T5 to almost clearing T6 and everything will be new to him now.
Introducing himself on the guild forums is a good idea, and being helpful in ways that don't involve him telling people how to 'improve their play' are also good.
Aelwythe May 19th 2008 9:14AM
I agree with guild applications being a good way to tell your prospective guildies about yourself, but also there's no reason you can't do so now. Presumably your guild has a forum, and I find that the people who are most active on mine are the closest in game. If there isn't already some kind of 'introductions' thread, just make one of your own telling people about yourself.
As far as the realm forum goes, I can't really help with that as my realm has a busy unofficial forum of it's own. As a result our official Blizz forum is a bit dead. Unless your realm is in the same situation then I think you're out of luck there.
bizounce May 19th 2008 9:15AM
I always do two things, 1: Play your class well, however remaining humble. 2: Don't be too serious, have fun, join in conversation. I recently started playing again, taking my girlfriend's shaman out of retirement. First thing I did when joining a new guild was saying "A/S/L ladies!" upon invite, getting a good laugh out of that, and watching out for 5 man invites to show my goods. Its not too hard, you can do it!
Sparuuto May 19th 2008 9:15AM
"My issue is, how does one go about creating new friendships and relationships on a completely new server and with a guild that contains no-one you know? Balnazzar had a thriving IRC channel, shared in-game chat channel between members of varying guilds, and a fantastic Wow Europe realm forum - Xavius doesn't seem to have any of these: the IRC channel is unfriendly and quiet, no shared channel and the realm forum is full of useless troll posts."
Hello, my name is Sparuuto and I'm a protection paladin (Horde, sorry) on Xavius EU. I have no idea why on Earth you'd move there as it is pretty lacking overall. We do have an IRC channel but as far as I know it's still to pick up some members as I don't think it's all that old.
We do have a forum community but it all seems to be centred towards inside jokes about high end guilds and certain personalities. I do know, however, that they are generally extremely friendly and if you just put in an introductory post on the realm forums then people'll get to know you.
Have you been raiding with Destiny Awaits long? You'll probably meet people over the course of raiding that you get on with and get to know a bit better. If you see any good conversations going in /g, try to get involved and people should recognise you and accept you more.
As for chat channels, I know there are a few keepers Hordeside but on the Alliance I'd have no idea. Just be friendly with everyone you PuG with, everyone you craft for or who crafts for you, enchanters etc.
Best of luck, Sparnab Xavius EU
Milktub May 19th 2008 9:23AM
I imagine making friends when you're working t6 content is a lot like trying to make friends in real life when you've already begun your profession: slow and intentional. When you're leveling, friends just happen. You're running 5-mans, helping out with group quests, so you meet lots of new people. Once you're farming top tier content, you're pretty much in contact with the same ~30 people day in and day out, so I have to make yourself known. Be helpful, honest, good-humored, and you'll find the guild clique that fits for you.
Bunny May 20th 2008 11:39AM
I recently did a similar thing left my old guild due to issues where raiding was just not happening and it began to feel pointless to go on wipe raids of farm content because people just didnt put the effort in.
Its a bit tough though. You go from being one of the elite well geared people in a guild and suddenly your the T5 noop around all these T6 people, the change in meters is the first thing you notice and suddenly you feel a bit down.
tbh I am unsure whether the move was entirely right for me I have come to realise that most of the fun aspect of wow was with the people I was guilded with and even though I am now in Sunwell when I was just wiping on hydross before(we actually did 3/4 tk 5/6 ssc but due to people leaving etc we kind of degressed) the spark just isnt there I just hope it will change.
shoemanchris May 19th 2008 10:27AM
I didn't change server but I did join a new Guild and promptly found within 2-3 days that the person who invited left!
But you just get on with it. I raid/instance and to do that you have to put yourself about a bit. I am an engineer so I always have a repair bot and jumper cables (XL!) Now as we all kinow the latter don't actually work that often, but a shared failure can be fun too!
Try typing /g Anyone need any help with anything? I have an hour
and see what happens!
Be yourself... it sounds like you are quite gregarious and are missing the banter... well start it! If people don't like it/you then you are in the wrong place anyway
Anyway, good luck... you must have really hated your last guild to change away from your friends and what sounds like a nice realm to end up there, so I hope it works out for you.
Mr Crispy May 19th 2008 10:11AM
First step, and this always goes over well: declare yourself an expert in everything raiding. How are they going to know your skills if you don't remind them of it constantly.
Secondly, and this is really important: always refer to the guild leader as a "grinning idiot" or "inept noob". This will show that you are a take charge leader and not scared of thinking outside the box.
Lastly, flirt non stop with all the women in the guild...constantly. Be as dirty as you want. Remember: nothing endears you to a guild better than the adoration of all the females. Don't worry about harassment complaints. After all, its just a game and if they didn't want to be harassed they should have played hello kitty adventures.
side note: I'm looking for a guild on Trollbane. I can't seem to find one that is worthy of me.
Joe May 19th 2008 10:41AM
I reciently changed guilds for the same reasons it sounds like that you did a server transfer. I went from a Kara / wiping on gruul guild to a clearing T5 content guild.
This didn't go over so well with my previous guild as there were 6 of us that went, including the main tank, main healer, and top DPSer. We might as well have server transfered, although we did do it together.
Now 2 months later, the guild is finally starting to feel like home, although at first it was very lonely. There is some great advice through out the responses, and most of it is basically what/we did to make things feel more like home.
We didn't bring our alts in at first, and the new guild didn't even know they existed, and it wasn't until we decided to bring them in so that we spent more time with the guild that we started to get to know people. If you dont' spend time with them, you may never get to know the people enough to enjoy playing with them.
Cynra May 19th 2008 10:42AM
Couple of things:
Guild forums: if your guild has one, use them. It shouldn't matter if only mindless babble goes on and they're so antediluvian that they're still spouting "Your Mama" and Chuck Norris jokes -- get your voice out and be vocal. Throw a comment here and there, be overwhelming positive, but don't come across as an idiot or asshat. It's hard to balance getting involved in a new guild and not looking like a moron, but you'll have to do it some time! Don't look like the stuck-up jerk that doesn't ever speak.
Class channels: if you're raiding, you probably have one. There's a camaderie between people of the same class that there usually isn't between other people (and, to go further, camaderie between roles; ah, healers have the best conversations about their guildies!); take advantage of that. If you're knowledgable about the class, try starting a theorycrafting discussion. Don't get involved in the dirt (you're too new to do that), but get your name known. Maybe even ask questions on things you already know just to break the ice.
Get involved: People leveling alts? Offer to help. People doing gear or badge runs? Get involved. Logging in for the day? Say hi to everyone in /g. Your class leader logs in? Greet him. People are getting consumables together for raids? Mention your professions and offer to help. Even putting stuff into the guild bank is a good first step because you can bet that SOMEONE in the guild is watching that like a hawk (there's always one, whether it's to see who else is contributing or because he wants something in there).
Good luck!
Kinoki May 19th 2008 11:03AM
Having transfered 2 alliance chars from Xavius to other servers I can't understand why anyone would transfer to it. It's probably the smallest server in the smallest battlegroup.
But, you're raiding with Destiny Awaits, and that's about as friendly as you get on Xavius. Gank members on sight and keep them camped for hours, my piece of advise.
Anyways, lots of friendly people on the server. Too bad it's too small.
recrudesce May 19th 2008 11:11AM
i've found that the best thing to do is not transfer server unless you really really have to. i moved from a server i'd been on for about a year where i had a load of friends, to a new TBC server. since there, i've moved through practically all the high end guilds, and have made a load of friends which i would never be able to transfer away from. more so than i used to have on my previous server.
but yeah, be nice, join in with the banter. dont feel that you have to stay out of conversations just because you're the new member.
additionally, i've found a simple /wave towards guildies when you see them in capital cities goes a long long way, as does random buffs and such.
i'm a healer, and have met a lot of people by randomly organising healing competitions. seeing who can do a 12k crit heal on a lock or something, and then giving them a big chunk of change if they beat the amount. works really well and brings in a lot of humour and conversation.
just be nice - think of all the things you'd like to see in a friend on WoW, and then offer that out to everyone else. you'll soon find that a lot of people will come to the opinion that you are a nice person to talk to, helpful, understanding etc and want to know you.
and remember, you dont always have to talk WoW all the time. asking people how their weekends went, or remembering where people are going when they're off for a few days and asking how it was when they get back. basically all the stuff you do for your IRL friends, but on WoW instead :D
good luck mate, it'll all fall into place !
Daimon May 19th 2008 12:32PM
is a slow day by day process, you can't rush being taking in consideration. I remember bieng officer in my 1st KZ guild and RL as well, then got into a strong T4/T5 guild and in a short period of time got to Officer as well, and they didn't know me at start, but i didn't rush anything. So if you have skills show it to them, but don't be cocky or you might upset the actual guild officers.
In a new server/guild best way to make friends is in dungeons/heroics and being polite. is on WoW loading tips lol.
migellito May 19th 2008 2:20PM
lol at Mr. Crispy.. i'm sure i've seen that somewhere before, but it gets a laugh nonetheless. 'troll'bane.. lol
Vlatch May 19th 2008 2:24PM
I am the raid leader of a guild of friends who have known each other for faaarrrr too long. We are very clique-esh and don't generally accept newcomers too well. That said, the newcomers that fare the best with us always turn out to be the ones that attempt to insert themselves into what the guild is doing.
It may be completely different for a raiding guild, but focus on starting small. Be on vent whenever you're playing; participate in guild chat; say hello to people when they log in; ask a fellow hunter about a strat - even if you already know it. The most important thing is to be visible, but NOT annoying.
Also, help out whenever you can. Ask in guild chat if anyone needs help with anything. If it's a raiding guild, it may be as trivial as helping someone kill mobs to farm mats for raids more quickly. Whatever it is, it does take time. So, be patient, be friendly, and they'll be eating out of the palm of your hand in no time :)
Selly May 19th 2008 8:21PM
I too transferred my 3rd 70 from the realm I "grew up" on to a realm that runs on my own timezone so that I could raid in the evenings vs early mornings.
It's been quite difficult for me to fit in but as I do more instances/Kara I'm finding the guild slowly warming to me. I generally stay quiet unless something pops up in Gchat. It really is very difficult to transfer from a server that you are comfortable with to one that is completely new to you and you don't know a soul there.
In the end I figure this server will end up being more and more like home. At worst I can transfer back to my other server.
Tzigara Jun 8th 2008 10:59PM
Hmm i miss u 2 Azure :-< why oh why did u had to go on a long forgotten server?:(
Damn ure one of the few alliance dudes i loved :-<
Peace from Trollz island me love ya 2!!
P.S.:Alexandra Olaru mama pe ce server eshti?:P :))
Anyhow miss ya and hope to see u again Azure!
Peace out!