Breakfast Topic: Shame
by Amanda Dean 
Jun 8th 2008 at 8:00AM
I am not ashamed to be a World of Warcraft player. I spend on average about two hours a day playing the game. That takes into account the weekends when I overindulge and the weekdays when I may log in for a few arenas, if at all. I have accomplishments in-game that I'm proud of, and I find it really thrilling to share my thoughts and experiences with the readers of WoW Insider. I proudly wear geeky, WoW-oriented shirts, and proclaim myself as a gamer.
Every once in a while I think to myself that I should do something different with my time. But then I remember that it's some good clean (not to mention cheap) fun that I can share with my friends and family. On top of that, I really enjoy my play time. For an extra-added benefit, I can't remember the last time I was actually bored, with the game or anything else.
An interesting news article hit my inbox today. Dr. Jerald Block is a psychiatrist who specializes in treating pathological computer use. His most stunning statement was that many of his clients were more ashamed of their World of Warcraft addictions than obsessions with internet porn. I can't quite wrap my brain around that.
Dr. Block also believes that previous studies of gaming addiction have been focused on the wrong group. He claims that adults, rather than teens, obsess over online gaming. He is probably right on both accounts. This may lead to a paradigm shift in gaming research.
Do you ever find yourself ashamed of playing WoW?
[Via Boston.com]
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Virtual selves, Breakfast Topics, Features
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Gorgoer Jun 8th 2008 8:10AM
Ashamed of playing wow? no
Ashamed of how much? yes
jumb Jun 8th 2008 8:29AM
This whole post feels like a brainwashing exercise.
Nanananananana leader! I mean, WoW!
selljanetoo Jun 8th 2008 8:39AM
Quite honestly, I never have.
I've found that I've developed better friendships with people both in and out of the game than I would have if I had tried to keep my playtime "under wraps." I have friends who both love and loathe the game, but they all understand that WoW is my hobby.
For the year that I was a closet recluse who dined on only Ramen and Cheez-Its, because I "didn't have the time to make dinner," I was very ashamed of the lack of self-control I was exhibiting by not cutting myself off. But, rearing in the tendencies to want to keep playing and focusing my energies back into real life was an easy transition for me. I've now found the perfect balance between work, WoW and friends. Furthermore, I truly believe that 20 or 30 years down the line, once I'm 52 and accosting children from my porch, WoW memories and WoW friends will be one of my favorite subjects to reminisce about. WoW is a ubiquitous entity, a small but encompassing club of people, who, irregardless of the fact they've never played together, can talk about the same raid, the same class or their most hated combat mechanic.
Let's be grateful the Great Nerds of the world never stopped pursuing their favorite hobbies because it wasn't "cool at the time." Without their devotion to what they loved the most, we'd never see PCs, D&D, Vnc's, etc.
If your friends make you feel ashamed for any of your hobbies, then maybe you should get better friends, rather than seemingly more conventional habits :D
camstr101 Jun 8th 2008 8:50AM
I think that this article is very interesting. I agree with what he says about most people just assuming that kids or young adults are the people with the problems. Because in most cases, they aren't the ones playing for 16 hours a day. They are the ones that spend time with friends, family, and studying, whether they want to or not. I find it interesting that even though it is proven that average gamers are older, they still target younger people for their research. But seriously, 99% of gamers don't have problems. The other 1%?? They are the ones going around shooting people or hanging themselves, which yes, is a problem, but it's on a personnal level and most likely is NOT the games fault. Getting to the real point:
It's just sad that people should have to feel more ashamed of playing WoW than looking at porn. No, it's not sad, it's disgusting.
Sirg Jun 8th 2008 8:50AM
This might be a problem when you spend much more time than a casual gamer playing wow, like 8 hours every day, or even more, neglecting real life issues, family, kids, friends, wife, etc..
But there is a problem - it's very hard to explain the WoW phenomenon to someone who doesn't even know how simple games are, or to any outsider. People just don't understand, so you become somekind of freak, and you feel like an alien in a world with "normal" people. And you get a totally differend vibe when you meet someone that plays wow, and all the sudden, words like Alliance, Horde, level, epics, loot, noob etc start to have a meaning. :)
Deb Jun 8th 2008 8:57AM
I'm 53 years old and if Jerald were to knock on my door while I was in a scheduled raid I'd shamelessly ignore him.
Diabla Jun 8th 2008 10:36AM
:) Your comment made my day
/salute
SBKT Jun 8th 2008 9:01AM
I don't feel bad that I play Wow, I feel bad that so many people play and are at the computer so much, you'd think they'd be able to do something more than shorthand. It's annoying and to me, a sign of the end of the world.
Yes, that last part is kind of tough to explain. I imagine the future with everyone writing internet shorthand.
Hurode Jun 8th 2008 1:36PM
wuts ur problm wit tlkin lik dis?
(/sarcasm)
Upas Jun 8th 2008 9:10AM
I might joke about my WoW habit with my friends, they might groan whenever I start talking about it, but I'm not really ashamed of it. My friends understand its a hobby, something I do, and while they might not like it, they deal with it.
And I do tell WoW stories, and get both groans and laughs in return.
Amethyst Jun 8th 2008 9:20AM
I used to feel slightly ashamed when I started playing, but that was because my friends took the mick and called me a geek whenever they saw that I was. Down the line however, I've just accepted it as part of my hobbies, it drives the boredom away and it hasn't taken over my life so what is there to be ashamed about? My boyfriend and I live quite far apart so when we're unable to see each other we play wow together, sounds a bit geeky but helping each other out doing quests and instances helps me feel close to him when we can't physically be together.
Then again, I sometimes feel ashamed when I start seeing wow references everywhere, the once normal words like epic and elite have started taking on a whole new meaning
Josef Jun 8th 2008 10:03AM
Its all just smoke and mirrors, I don't feel bad about playing WoW, I have never missed feeding myself or going out through playing, and its something fun to do with online gentlefolks ;).
As to all this "end of the world" horsepies, there are always going to be those saying "NEW STUFF=APOCALYPSE" if it happened with Albert Spangler in the 1800's then it will certainly happen nowadays, cinema was supposed to make everyone kill their parents, D&D was supposed to start satan and the theatre was a dreadful and evil tool of enjoyment ;)
Puff Jun 8th 2008 10:16AM
Well, that was one of the most unbalanced articles I've ever read, gg Boston.com. Though he wasn't saying every single person is a raging addict, there was no indication that the majority of the MMO playing population is actually pretty normal, geeky tendencies aside.
As for me - I am definitely not ashamed of playing WoW, although I occasionally am a little embarassed after I have a really long session. Sort of a 'wow where did THAT whole Saturday go?' I don't -want- to be ashamed of it, but I definitely don't tell people how much I play because I know they would be very judgmental and not make the connection that they probably have an equal amount of idle time between watching TV and surfing Myspace or whatever they choose to do.
I don't really worry about it. I have a decent social life, go to college, work out every day, and have lots of stuff I'm into outside of WoW. And I am always going to choose getting out of the house to hang out with friends and family over playing WoW. It's just that given a day off of school/work with no other obligations? Hell's yeah I'm going to play a marathon session of WoW. And I am able to dial it back if I do feel like I'm playing too much. I take time off until I feel balanced again.
It does bother me that nerdy pasttimes such as this are somehow way less acceptable than way more destructive activities, like drinking all day and being trashed every weekend. An old coworker of mine used to start drinking at noon on Saturdays and spend the entire day getting wasted. So that is cool, but if I got up and played Alterac Valley (AV WEEKEND WOOO) all day long, that would be somehow way more shameful.
tl;dr - I think because of the public view of MMOs, I do feel embarassed about my playtime, but I know that it isn't an actual problem for me.
DarkestDrow Jun 8th 2008 10:20AM
I've never been ashamed of it, and I probably never will be. None of my friends are gamers, and they seem to be more ashamed of my hobbies than me (which is idiotic, but hey, that's their problem, not mine).
I've always held to the theory that if my hobbies don't hurt me or anyone else, and if they're not illegal, I have absolutely no reason to be ashamed of them, and I'll also never apologize for being who I am or liking what I like.
I've never felt the need to 'hide' the fact that I'm a gamer; I wear the clothing, talk the talk, and will discuss gaming if someone brings it up.
That said, I don't let the game control me. I play if and when I have the time. There are some weekends where I've spent countless hours logged in, and other weekends where I've just had other things to do and haven't logged in at all. I've never shirked my responsibilities as a spouse, parent, employee or friend. If I have spare personal time, I see nothing wrong with choosing WoW over talking on the phone with a friend, playing solitaire, watching a movie or surfing the net mindlessly for hours. To me, each of the previously-listed activities is about as productive as the other, so why not choose the one I enjoy the most?
Just because my friends or relatives don't understand the fact that I enjoy WoW doesn't mean I should feel ashamed. Frankly I don't understand why anyone would want to sit in a boat for eight straight hours while getting eaten alive by mosquitos, but does my husband feel ashamed of the fact that he loves to fish? Absolutely not.
Each to his own.
Arras Jun 8th 2008 10:45AM
10 million subscribers worldwide and I don't know anyone that plays it.
It's not so much shame, it's the connotation of saying 'I play an MMORPG' - as soon as most people hear that, their eyes glaze over and a little alarm in their head goes off 'nerd alert! nerd alert! nerd alert!' and they picture a bunch of dumpy, pasty man-children in their mom's basement huddled around a D&D book and arguing over Kirk vs Picard (Picard FTW, btw).
It's not that playing online video games is socially unacceptable or there's anything wrong with playing video games, it's that most of the people who don't play them have pre-conceived notions of what gamers look and act like and they're not overwhelmingly positive.
But none of that should matter unless you're seeking the approval or validation of those people. Are you?
hamiltonerics Jun 8th 2008 11:49AM
Yea, same here.
I don't know a single SOUL who plays, and that kinda bugs me. Whenever one of my friends brings it up, I kinda try to play it down (but then again, he always brings it up in a kind of derogatory manner, and that's no way to have a normal conversation about it). But if someone asks me a real question, I generally answer it. Although probably only my family (shipping off to college in the fall) and girlfriend know how much I play. I mean, my girlfriend just knows that if I'm home by myself, I'm basically playing, even though she doesn't really know anything about the game, she's the most supportive simply because she's the most neutral.
If I could just find one, ONE person I knew who played WoW, I'd jump up and down for joy because all of a sudden a really big portion of my life would open up that I could actually share with someone, whereas right now I can't.
To answer the question: No, I'm not ashamed, but I'm a tad sensitive because of how it always comes up (thanks to that friend). Here's to hoping I find someone in college =p
Ilnara Jun 8th 2008 11:39AM
My motto : All things in moderation... Including moderation. :)
Nosime Jun 8th 2008 11:47AM
Considering my dad, my best friends (most of them), my sister, my boyfriend, and most of my coworkers play? Kinda hard to be ashamed XD
Inscrutibob Jun 8th 2008 12:22PM
I once installed an addon that totaled up your "/played" time for all toons. I uninstalled it almost right away. Love WoW. Do not care to admit how much time goes into it.
I work in a tech organization at a university, and almost everyone there plays, so at least we have something to talk about at meetings...
Antiquity Jun 8th 2008 12:33PM
The one thing I tell my friends and others. When WoW starts making decisions for you, whether that is to skip a date, skip work, skip going out, skip a committment, skip doing some other social things, then yes you need to rethink the game.
I think one of the issues with WoW is that people feel they are going to be "left behind" if they don't keep up and that is a design flaw in the game. The PvP grind is a perfect example, where the more you play, the more you stay ahead and so on.
WoW needs to put in some restrictions in the game. I NEVER felt I was falling behind when the game came out because it was PvE content and you basically leveled at your own pace. I think Blizzard should put some limits on certain things like they do heroics and so on. Put normal dungeons on 1 day timers also where you can't rerun them. Put BGs a limit on how many BG's you can do, etc.
There is nothing wrong with playing WoW IF you are doing other things also. I make sure I work out every day I'm supposed to, make sure I socialize and go out with my friends, make sure that I do things that need to be done (like errands, laundry, cooking, etc), make sure I make time with my girlfriend, etc. When its time for personal time, if its between TV, watching a movie, playing a console or WoW, then thats when it shouldn't matter to you what you do. WoW is no different then those other things, except that it will be there after those are over because it continues. But when you ignore most of the things i said above for WoW, then you really need to rethink your time.