Breakfast Topic: Your online social life
by Matthew Porter 
Jul 31st 2008 at 8:00AM
One of the best (and sometimes worst) things about online gaming are the people and the connections you make with them. Everyone who logs in has at least one thing in common with everyone else, we all play World of Warcraft.
A small common interest is sometimes all it takes to bridge the gap between people and become friends. So this morning I'm interested in how you view the people you play WoW with. Are they just another member of your guild who you log in with for an hour or so a day, or something more? Does your guild or online community have real life get togethers? Have your online friends ever became close real life friends, or even perhaps a significant other? I'm interested in hearing your take on managing online friends with your offline persona.
Myself? I started online gaming back in the Quake 1 Team Fortress days, moved on to Everquest and Dark Age of Camelot, and now WoW. To this day I still game and talk with a handful of my old clan members. In WoW, I've been fortunate enough to still be in the same guild I was in on day 1. I've known some of these people as long if not longer than some of my offline friends. Managing the relationships forged online versus off can sometimes be difficult, can you truely know someone without having ever met them face to face? Let's hear your stories and thoughts!
A small common interest is sometimes all it takes to bridge the gap between people and become friends. So this morning I'm interested in how you view the people you play WoW with. Are they just another member of your guild who you log in with for an hour or so a day, or something more? Does your guild or online community have real life get togethers? Have your online friends ever became close real life friends, or even perhaps a significant other? I'm interested in hearing your take on managing online friends with your offline persona. Myself? I started online gaming back in the Quake 1 Team Fortress days, moved on to Everquest and Dark Age of Camelot, and now WoW. To this day I still game and talk with a handful of my old clan members. In WoW, I've been fortunate enough to still be in the same guild I was in on day 1. I've known some of these people as long if not longer than some of my offline friends. Managing the relationships forged online versus off can sometimes be difficult, can you truely know someone without having ever met them face to face? Let's hear your stories and thoughts!
Filed under: Virtual selves, Breakfast Topics
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Konni Jul 31st 2008 8:40AM
For me, most people I hang out with in-game are just people to play the game with, but there is a small core of players who have been together off and on for over 2 years that are more than that. We're like family. People fight, hurt each other, move on, leave angry, etc., but we always come back and we're always there for each other. :)
boobslol Jul 31st 2008 12:34PM
I am in a similar guild, i joined about 4-5months ago. I consider 90% of the people in the guild that i raid with 'co-workers'. The officers and 2 gm's all know each other IRL, so they have their own clique, included 2-3 guild members that have been around for years. I guess there are maybe 3-4 people i can consider friends. For the most part they are just co-workers that come together to accomplish a task.
Sometimes they are funny, sometimes they are annoying, for the most part - we just get together and do our job, and after that we barely know each other.
Synstress Jul 31st 2008 8:47AM
I am super lucky that my sister and brother in law were Wow fans from the first release and started a guild of all their "furry" (anthropomorphics) friends. Some I know some I dont. But when my husband started playing they had him join the guild and treated him like the family he is. (the whole guild did!) so when there was a lack of PS3 games for he and i to play, he got me started on WOW. My sister was thrilled (seeing as we live miles and states apart). And they treated me with the same hugs as my husband. I cant see myself joining another guild. We help each other level and quest. Instances or even advice since my Bro in law and another guildmember are like walking encyclopedias of WoW knowledge. We accept new members and treat them with the same kindness. Whats nice is in Nov. there is a furry con here in chicago where some of us guildies live and my sister is planning to have a guild dinner so we can meet face to face.
The best thing about this whole experience is being able to log on and chat with people who are nice. I tried being in a guild with my horde character but not knowing the people was hard. I eventually gave up playing horde since i just didnt feel warm and fuzzy,...
and seeing as how i do alot of PUGS, there are a lot of people out there who are crude and just down right mean. So i count my blessings every wow day...
Syn
mdmadph Jul 31st 2008 10:16AM
Must... resist... snarky comment...
Okay. Congrats on finding such a good group of people to game with.
Cow Sep 12th 2008 9:26PM
Lol furry
Badge Jul 31st 2008 8:52AM
*You're* my best (online) friend
quick! fix it before anyone notices! o wait..
jwbowyer Jul 31st 2008 8:52AM
I haven't met any really close friends in WoW, but I have in other online games and social communities. The first being from my young days on the website Neopets (No one laugh :( ! ) She was a friend that I still have to this day and who I've met once when she and her family took a vacation down near where I live.
The second was off the game ROSE Online during its Open Beta, I was simply questing in an area as the archer class, and apparently killing everything before another player could get to them. After much frustration on his part he voiced his distaste for my class and everyone who played them. Somehow we became good friends and a few months ago he drove down to where I live for my high school graduation and we met for the first time. He stayed for about 3 or 4 days before driving back.
Even though it was the first time I ever met these people face to face, I still knew them instantly, they were my friends, some of the best I've ever had. They've gotten me through hard times, and I wouldn't be who I am without their influence on my life.
Bjara Jul 31st 2008 8:55AM
I think that it's harder to become close friends with someone online, especially in WoW where there's maybe not so much talking as there as killing. . .but I've definitely forged some good friendships in the game. I just think it's less likely to happen and takes longer.
On the other hand, the person who introduced me to WoW thinks that it's EASIER to make friends online and in WoW because it's easier to ignore social stigmas when you're online and can't see the person face to face.
DirtyPriest Jul 31st 2008 11:59PM
It really depends. There's the group of people who think anyone they meet online is at level with their coworkers. Then there's people who don't see it any differently than their offline friends.
Some people's definition of friend is pretty lose anyone they talk to is their friend while others only considers people who've seen they're junk to be true friends.
Depending on who you meet it can be easier or harder.
And also the limitation that you never see these people out of game so the relationship never grows just beyond that. Unlike friends offline who you can count on in a bar fight or bail you out or to keep what you did last summer a secret. >.> OK, I lied, I don't go to bars.
Kuri Jul 31st 2008 8:58AM
There are few people that I formed deep connections to online. Those that I have though have special places in my heart (I mean you Obakemono). At the moment, I'm mildly jaded about people though. After being in with a small circle of people raiding all through BC, I became a non-raider, and was kicked from the guild. People who I thought of as online family suddenly, and without reason beyond "we're a raiding guild, and we don't want non-raiders hanging around", I was summarily booted.
Currently, I find and help random lowbies, adding ones that I get on well with to my friends list to help whenever they're on. Hopefully, in the expansion, when I feel ready to be a part of a guild again, we'll all be in the same one.
smalldeath Jul 31st 2008 8:59AM
Out of curiosity, who were you back in TF1, I still talk to a lot of the old TF1 people as well, those were great times for gaming.
I've made many friends I still talk too, both in and out of the game, I think having a common interest gives you an easy way to start a friendship (in this case, video games).
Kittimm Jul 31st 2008 9:26AM
I pretty much keep to myself while playing.
I do play with a guy who ive played online games with for about 8 years now and I do consider him a good friend and I do trust him explicitly.
But I dont think ive actually ever met anyone on wow that I even speak to regularly.
Regarding the matter in general, I have nothing against palling up with everybody you see in an online game. It's almost as easy to mask parts of yourself irl as it is online anyhow. Online friends should never be a substitute for real life friends, but sometimes it's nice to go talk to someone who you don't have that kind of tie with and can simply go offline when you've had enough. It's friendship freedom.
As far as MMORPGs go, I would have to say that wow isn't that social an environment, though.
Mark Jul 31st 2008 9:27AM
I used to play a lot of Call of Duty 1 + 2 online and made a lot of friends through the clan I was part of, a few of us moved onto WoW (some were already playing). So from the very start I had friends to group with and didn't have to join a guild full of strangers as we set-up our own.
That didn't last all too long though, because we were trying to extend our clan to WoW we all had to be on the same server which didn't suit all, so many people went back to their mains on different servers as well as others dropping out of the game altogether.
I hopped between guilds a few times until I found a very friendly, social guild that I stayed in for about 9-10 months. I made a few more friends here and my neighbour and best-friend also joined me there but recently he too left the game. Unfortunately several of the guild's most active players left the game so the guild had to shut down, so most of the remaining active players whom I have become friendly with all left to join the same guild (a pretty serious and much bigger guild than our old one), so we'll see how that pans out.
Also, my girlfriend started playing recently enough so I have an alt that I use to quest and level with her.
sporteeee Jul 31st 2008 9:36AM
I've played WoW consistently over the last 12 - 16 months with the same core group of players. In fact, we're now in our third guild together! (We were the officer corps in the 1st 2 and joined a social raiding guild after we burned out.)
I've visited some of them at their house, and one friend is planning a whirlwind tour of our houses when he comes to the US from Australia....
Mostly I rush to play at night for their camraderie...
hdcshannon Jul 31st 2008 9:34AM
I have many friendships on WoW in part because of my guild. Every year we have a get together and people fly in from all over the country. (15+ people!) It's a drunken good time. Plus I met my girlfriend from one of the get togethers, she's the sister of a guildy. (Scandalous!)
MechChef Jul 31st 2008 9:54AM
I've never made great WoW friends. Though I'm friends with, and have hung out with many people on an non-WoW webforum I post on.
Begonia Jul 31st 2008 10:00AM
I met my boyfriend on WoW. We've been dating for over a year.
Bunkai Jul 31st 2008 9:52AM
I've been playing WoW since May '05. I've been in multiple guilds and servers. My main toons are on Hakkar, which I've been playing on since Summer '06. Out of all of the contact that I've had with all of the different people, some that I've only played with a few times and some that have moved servers with me to build a fresh start in a new guild, there are less than 5 that I might consider letting enter my home before meeting with them a few times in public.
I'm very sceptical as to whether a person is honest about who they are when protected by the anonymity of a chat window. Even on Vent or TS, a person might just be a very good actor. After all... this is Role Playing, is it not? The reason that most people play is so that they can be a different person in a different place. How are you able to ever feel comfortable that you truly know the person on the other end of the line?
I'm always willing to give the benefit of the doubt, and I'd happily go out to eat or chill at a bar with any of my guild mates, but I wouldn't invite them over to my house as the first place to make contact in person. I sure wouldn't want them to be left alone with my kids.
I'm not paranoid, and I'm more than capable to protect my family and my home, but there's no good reason to willingly invite (the possibility of) trouble inside. It's all about being mature and responsible, IMO.
mdmadph Jul 31st 2008 10:17AM
I see online friends in the same light as I do face-to-face ones. I think, in about 10 years or so, everyone else will too. I don't see the difference anymore.
mdmadph Jul 31st 2008 10:17AM
I see online friends in the same light as I do face-to-face ones. I think, in about 10 years or so, everyone else will too. I don't see the difference anymore.