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All of the latest Mists of Pandaria newsBreakfast Topic: Your online social life
by Matthew Porter 
Jul 31st 2008 at 8:00AM
One of the best (and sometimes worst) things about online gaming are the people and the connections you make with them. Everyone who logs in has at least one thing in common with everyone else, we all play World of Warcraft.
A small common interest is sometimes all it takes to bridge the gap between people and become friends. So this morning I'm interested in how you view the people you play WoW with. Are they just another member of your guild who you log in with for an hour or so a day, or something more? Does your guild or online community have real life get togethers? Have your online friends ever became close real life friends, or even perhaps a significant other? I'm interested in hearing your take on managing online friends with your offline persona.
Myself? I started online gaming back in the Quake 1 Team Fortress days, moved on to Everquest and Dark Age of Camelot, and now WoW. To this day I still game and talk with a handful of my old clan members. In WoW, I've been fortunate enough to still be in the same guild I was in on day 1. I've known some of these people as long if not longer than some of my offline friends. Managing the relationships forged online versus off can sometimes be difficult, can you truely know someone without having ever met them face to face? Let's hear your stories and thoughts!
A small common interest is sometimes all it takes to bridge the gap between people and become friends. So this morning I'm interested in how you view the people you play WoW with. Are they just another member of your guild who you log in with for an hour or so a day, or something more? Does your guild or online community have real life get togethers? Have your online friends ever became close real life friends, or even perhaps a significant other? I'm interested in hearing your take on managing online friends with your offline persona. Myself? I started online gaming back in the Quake 1 Team Fortress days, moved on to Everquest and Dark Age of Camelot, and now WoW. To this day I still game and talk with a handful of my old clan members. In WoW, I've been fortunate enough to still be in the same guild I was in on day 1. I've known some of these people as long if not longer than some of my offline friends. Managing the relationships forged online versus off can sometimes be difficult, can you truely know someone without having ever met them face to face? Let's hear your stories and thoughts!
Filed under: Virtual selves, Breakfast Topics
Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
Fiztaru Jul 31st 2008 10:23AM
Yes, I believe it’s possible to truly know someone without meeting them in person (although it’s admittedly rare).One of my best and closest friends is someone I met in Terokkar about seven months ago. I was working on a quest, and noticed another player close by killing the same mobs, so I whispered her and we grouped up. That night we both remarked that we had a great time, so we added each other to our Friends List. Unlike most times where that has happened to me (usually I would wind up almost never grouping or talking to someone after that first time), it led to another night of questing together, and another, and another…and now we consider each other best friends, even though we haven’t yet met in real life; even if we were forced to stop playing WoW (perish the thought!) we would still keep in touch with each other.
As far as my guild goes, we just have a really great bunch of people-many of them have gotten together on several occasions (although I haven’t been fortunate enough to be there for those…yet), and there are no truly bad eggs in my opinion-we joke around, sure, but we know when to draw the line. A very large part of the reason I enjoy WoW as much as I do is because of people like them.
Antuia Jul 31st 2008 10:41AM
I started playing WoW just a few months ago when my boyfriend introduced me to it. At first I was, meh, about the whole experience because the people I did meet in game were either mean because I'm a newb, or asking for my AIM cause I was a girl. Fortunately though, I joined a guild with my boyfriend and two of my close real life friends and have met some really awesome people through it. It's nice having people to help me with my questing and also to help me with my first few instances that I did.
goliathsdkfz Jul 31st 2008 11:58AM
Ive had people I play with become close friends, well we were, it just kinda happens if you spend alot of time with them. Be it online or in RL. Although I nearly came close to meeting one of my old GL before the Drama llama set in and it all fell apart.
Milktub Jul 31st 2008 10:22AM
I'm not one for really breaking that wall between the online world and my real world (except that time in 1994 when I met a girl I'd met in an AOL chat room for an hour of awkward conversation at a Denny's). I don't know, and don't really want to know my WoW friends' real names. I know enough to be friendly -- what part of the country they live in, what they do for work, what their other interests are ...
basically, I feel about my guildmates and such the way I do about people I work with.
Tam Jul 31st 2008 10:38AM
One of my oldest friends that I've known for about 18 years and her husband played WoW from the beginning. When she finally convinced me to pick up the game and give it a try, I was hooked, both on the game and the easy (and relatively cheap) way to stay in touch with her. Since I created my account in October of 2005, I've made some good friends through both my guild and the many instances I PUGed as a holy priest.
My guild has a core group of people from Toronto who have been gaming together for over 10 years. Since I was lucky enough to be welcomed into their midst, I've met some of them face to face. For the past 3 years we've held a Meet and Greet. The first one had about 15 people at it. Last year we had closer to 20, and this year we're expecting 25-30. It's been a good way to remain a close knit group of friends that happens to raid and to plan a very fun vacation.
Silverrealm Jul 31st 2008 10:53AM
My best friend who lived across the country got me into WoW. When the funny thing was that I used to talk to a co-worker a few years ago and he would ramble on about WoW and I would laugh at his geekiness.
Then in January I got the trial... whoops :D
I was in the guild my best friend was GM of, and it was all his close RL friends. Then things got crazy in life, I tried raiding and liked it and joined a new guild with a WoW friend I had met around the time I was lvl 40, in game.
I think many people put up airs online, and have this barrier of cheekiness they wouldn't normally so it is easy to 'not really know' someone online.
However, the guild I am a part of are all really entertaining and laid back people, out to have a good time... sometimes too much... hehe... but we have a ball raiding together and doing in game events.
Then one of the officers and I started talking both in game and out of game, about life stuff. We formed a really close connection in a time in my life that is incredibly hard.
I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, and I have WoW to thank for that. As corny as it may seem... turns out we have many things in common, removed from WoW, and we respect each other the way we both deserve. It's definately one of the happiest times in my life, in fact I don't think I ever remember being happier then I am being with him.
shoemanchris Jul 31st 2008 10:54AM
One of the best things that can happen to a guild is ventrilo or teamspeak. Saves a lot of typing and facilitates chats of a more general nature while you wander around Azeroth.
I have several people in my Guild whom I would term friends and many others I would call friendly aquaintences. WOW facilitated our meeting, which given they live all around Europe as well as my home of the UK, would have been unlikely otherwise. Ventrilo allows us to socialise and while I have only the vaguest idea what they look like, I have a very clear notion of their characters and snse of humour. So not much cop for dating but for social interaction it's great
Equally it has allowed me to add people straight to my 'to be avoided' list and imho, reduces the anonymity of typed flames, because when you say it live to someone you tend to be more respectful (of their feelings at least!)
One of the greatest ironies is that the RL friend who got me into the game I almost never play with... we have totally different ways of playing and don't actually 'get on' in the WOW world - so we go drinking in RL instead of questing in the world!
slimj091 Jul 31st 2008 11:00AM
"One of the best OR WORST things that can happen to a guild is ventrilo or teamspeak. Saves a lot of typing and facilitates chats of a more general nature while you wander around Azeroth."
there fixed that for you :P..
no doubt that vent/TS can bring a guild closer together. it can also tear it apart in an instant. it's the online syndrome where people forget that they are talking to other real people. even if they hear their voices. they say things that they wouldnt say to someone that's standing right in front of them. atleast using the in game chat you can say "oh i didnt mean it that way" if you say something really dorky, creepy, or threatingly (is that even a word?)
shoemanchris Jul 31st 2008 11:11AM
'Threateningly' I think, but I take your point!
It must be a bummer if you suddenly find your fav healer who is always there when you need him sounds like Norman Bates...
Not happened to me yet. There is however a gorgeous sounding Eastern European girl ... I never want to webcam WOW, no woman alive could match the fantasy in my head associated with those vowel sounds :)
slimj091 Jul 31st 2008 10:54AM
One of the reasons that i don't really play WoW anymore is that i had a falling out with several friends in my former (first) guild that i had been in for nearly two years. every guild that i got in since then just wasn't the same, because i always compare the people in the new guild to my old (first) one.
it's gotten to the point where i didnt even care that my account got hacked and frozen a month ago, because it gave me an excuse to stop trying to find a group of people to replace my first in game friends.
Tenchan Jul 31st 2008 10:57AM
The people I play WoW with are -people-. There is no difference between them and the people I meet in school/work/sports/etc.
Which means many of them are more or less close buddies, some of them suck, and a few have the potential to be real friends. Just like any other people.
The times when the internet was some shady underground area brimming with nothing but questionable characters are long over. I can only hope that realization will continue to spread.
slimj091 Jul 31st 2008 11:03AM
"The times when the internet was some shady underground area brimming with nothing but questionable characters are long over. I can only hope that realization will continue to spread."
i wouldn't say that exactly. the internet still has it's fair share of questionable characters in it (4chan anyone?). but i would say that there are now more "pockets" of the net that are populated by decent people.
Diaboliqux Jul 31st 2008 11:11AM
I'm the guild mistress of a wonderful guild that my boyfriend and I started. In my opinion we really are a family. We are a relatively small guild and are on a first name basis with everyone. We are a casual guild so there are no pressures on leveling or raiding. We are a group of Alt-o-holics at heart. I can't count the number of times I'd log in just to sit in a major city to chat with everyone. We do guild games monthly as a break from the daily grind and it gives us all a chance to catch up on how life is going.
I believe that the friendships I've found in the guild are wonderful. I've never had the opportunity to meet any of our guildies, but would love the chance someday. We've had our ups and downs and a little drama here and there but nothing that we can't work through.
I'm sure there are people out there who are playing the anonymity card and not acting as they would if you were to meet them irl, but you have those same people that you meet out that are "fake" so really what's the difference?
I love my guildies and the friendships that we have forged. I like the fact that we all feel comfortable enough with each other that we can exchange phone numbers, e-mails, and even myspace info so that we can keep up with the current events in each others lives. I wouldn't trade my fellow Hordies for the world!
Cari Jul 31st 2008 11:53AM
My guild is very much like a family. Started when two bunches of RL friends (one in CA, one in OH) came together--I am in the OH group. Since then we've expanded, and I've met people all over the country.
I know tons of couples who met through the Internets, a few of them through WoW, and it's very natural to me. My husband and I met through a mutual friend, and it seems weird that we *didn't* meet online. But I have met lots of people through LiveJournal and other blogs as well as well as WoW. I just happen to make friends easily, both IRL and online.
aslongasi Jul 31st 2008 1:18PM
I met my best friend 10 years ago online, though not through WoW she is the one who got me into WoW. I met my boyfriend through the game back in March. We're about to have a visit in 2 weeks and he's moving here (we live in the same state at least thankfully) next month or so :)
Arkkoran Jul 31st 2008 1:27PM
I consider several friends on the internet just as close as some of my IRL friends. Many of these people I've known for years and years, and they're just like IRL friends. Don't have that many close friends on WoW, really, (big ol' drama llama stepped in and broke me off from most of my WoW friends almost a year ago.) but I have met several guild members at conventions (specifically, Megaplex, a fur con down in Florida, where we had four guild members all meet up) and just to hang out.
They've always been there for me and I'll always be there for them when they need me.
Elza Jul 31st 2008 3:05PM
I've only been playing for a few months, but really the only people I play with are people who are either RL friends or RL friends of those friends. The guild I'm in on my horde main pretty much consists of people who are friends IRL and their friends. I've met other people in questing groups and such that I got along with quite well, but even though I add them to my friends list I usually end up not talking to them again. When I pulled my best friend into WoW, she wanted to roll alliance, so I had to get on a new server. Now we're in a guild full of total strangers, so it's really new to me. Very different, that's for sure.
PimpyMicPimp Jul 31st 2008 7:45PM
I am incredibly lucky; my guild is filled with people I'd consider friends. Not everyone is, some people are just their to play the game, but there is a good chunk of people I really enjoy playing with and talking too. It's one of the reasons I'll never leave my guild for ingame advancement.
Evi Aug 1st 2008 10:16AM
I've been with my WoW guild for a few years. Those of us who've been around for a while have gotten pretty close. Four of our members (two couples) even went on vacation together. My b/f and I actually reconnected with each other via WoW. We were already friends, but it had been a few years since we'd spoken at length. WoW helped us reconnect and rekindled the friendship (and later, romance).
I recently moved 800+ miles away from my family and friends, so I talk to my guildies as much, if not more, than my so-called "real" friends. I consider my online friendships real. It definitely adds a richer dimension when you can see someone in-person, but online friendships can be just as real as anything else. Note my usage of "can be". Yes, you can get taken advantage of online. Unfortunately, it's pretty easy to do. You have to be careful. But, under the right circumstances, an online friendship can be a wonderful thing.
Kiukiu Aug 7th 2008 4:40AM
I've been a gamer since I was a little kid and grew up with Nintendo and Sega and Playstation consoles as well as the watching the wonderful evolution of RTS on PC (and 'Doom Clones'- remember when we still called FPS that?). I first played multiplayer Doom hooked up to a mate's computer and had Quake/Starcraft LAN parties at school during lunch hours.
It's always been a part of my social life really...and it was friends who got me into WoW itself (I steadfastly refused to touch EQ or anything else for many years) and just got addicted to it. I've known numerous people outside of the game before and after they entered it. I've met numerous people at work and around randomly who also play WoW...and I've introduced it to my family.
Some people in WoW have become serious friends in real life, including the woman soon to become my wife that first met me when I made a joke character with some guildies (featuring a hated player on our server's name with 'sucks' or 'hrtzmen' or some other nonsense attached to it). I came to love that woman once we got out of the game together and am looking forward to becoming a loving stepfather as well as husband...and I owe that to the game.
Sadly, it's not all good really...I have had friends in WoW to go through serious personal problems before and during my time knowing them online. I also remember with sadness the time I flamed the hell out of my GM when I used to raid (who had been a good friend to all of us) when he left us entirely for a month or so. It was only much later that his brother logged on and let us know that he was in a car crash and died. I felt so awful that I never rolled on that server again and quit WoW for a long time.
So yes...WoW has given me a lot of ups and downs and really...I think the interaction (positive or otherwise) really makes WoW a big club where you are, as in real life, surrounded by total morons that want to make life hard for you, people blowing off steam after work or family life or even fun exciting people looking for a good time.