All the World's a Stage: So you want to be a gnome
Gnomes are probably the easiest race to roleplay in World of Warcraft. They have a strong (and mostly accurate) stereotype that people just get instantly, and there's a childlike "blank-slate" quality about them that means that they don't have to have complicated backstories.
In fact, you could define the gnomes as a race without a history to speak of. They are so very curious and inquisitive that they ask questions about everything, that they try to unravel any mysteries they encounter, and consider their personal life stories to be of little account. They've written tomes upon tomes on the inner workings of multi-polar data transfer relays and eletro-magnified parallel power circuits, but it never really occurred to them that they should write down the history of their species. They are a people always looking into the future, and whatever passes beyond the infinitely precious present becomes lost to them in the unseen reaches of the past -- out of sight, out of mind.
That's not to say they have no memory -- they make use of their superb memories in carefully constructing their world-renown masterpieces of technological craftsmanship! Rather, it would be better to say that their minds only serve up memories relevant to the inquiry at hand. So if the orcs paved through azeroth a while back and destroyed everything in their path, well that was bad and all but it was a long time ago and who wants to hold a grudge? If the monstrous troggs came from the bowels of the earth and destroyed their cherished technological city of Gnomeregan... well, they'd love to get it back, but it's no reason to be unkind or uncheerful!
"For Gnomeregan!"
I'm partially overstating the forgiving and forgetful nature of the gnomes when it comes to Gnomeregan, because, although they do remain cheerful and friendly in the face of such a devastating disaster, they remain resolute in trying to get it back. That city was the whole world as far as the gnomes were concerned, perfectly suited to all their experiments and calculations. They had been living in their underground city of mechanical wonders for generations upon generations, where they peacefully planned and carried out their experiments under the rulership of their elected High Tinkers. During the Second War, they aided the dwarves, high elves, and humans in their struggles against the orcs by supplying flying machines and submarines. But during the Third War, the gnomes withdrew from the Alliance for reasons that the Humans and Dwarves could not understand at the time.
Within Gnomeregan, however, the gnomes were dealing with a crisis of unprecedented proportions, a drama of dastardly deeds, and a bastard's black-hearted betrayal. A foul greed and utterly ungnomely ambition had been festering in the gnome known as Sicco Thermaplugg for many long years, as he weaseled his way up the ranks of the gnomish society. Although he was the closest friend of High Tinker Mekkatorque, he plotted all along to ruin his leader's reputation and usurp his position. Thermaplugg conspired a series of events which led to an enormous army of evil troggs bursting up from deep underground through the city's defenses, rampaging through the city and laying waste to everything in their path. Although the gnomes fought bravely, they were much smaller than their monstrous invaders and not at all prepared to fight inside their peaceful home.
Preying on the High Tinker's indefatigable courtesy and naivete, Thermaplugg dissuaded him from calling upon their friends in the Alliance for help, pointing out that their fight against the Burning Legion left them with little resources to aid the gnomes. He further used his trickery and guile to convince the increasingly desperate High Tinker Mekkatorque that the only way to save their city was to open the vents to the city's radioactive waste tanks and irradiate the city. Perhaps the High Tinker was too distressed to think clearly about the consequences of such an action, or perhaps he simply placed far too much trust in the assurances of his false friend, or perhaps both. But in the end, he and a small remnant of his people were lucky to escape with their lives, their health, and their sanity, to live as refugees within the dwarven capital of Ironforge.
Whether Thermaplugg was trapped inside Gnomeregan against his will, or chose to hide there in anticipation of his victory, even the madman himself may not know. All the gnomes who were trapped inside certain sections of the city became afflicted with hideous leprosy and descended into madness, if they were not killed by radiation sickness or by mutated troggs first. Although many troggs had survived the radiation and still infested much of the city, Thermaplugg declared himself High Tinker of Gnomeregan and ruler of all the gnomes, twisting his remaining people into insane shadows of his own paranoid and demented mind.
"An arclight spanner in the hand is worth two in the gyro-matic auto-expanding toolbox!"
Although, as we have seen, gnomes do fall into megalomaniacal lunacy from time to time, by and large they are far too busy discovering the mysteries of the universe to be troubled with little things like who's going to have power over whom. Their natural curiosity is founded on an unshakable belief that all questions have an answer, even if we do not yet have the means to find it. Of course this mindset lends itself towards the acquisition of more and more knowledge wherever there is scientific knowledge to be found. Gnomes excel as mages, warlocks, and sneaky rogues, and even as warriors with more brains than brawn. Their mindset is ill-suited towards more ambiguous professions such as those of the druid, shaman, priest or paladin, although some gnomes do profess a great reverence of the Holy Light. Some say that gnomes are not religious, but I would say that they simply do not let religion be religion -- they have to know how all that faith stuff actually works when it comes down to the nuts and bolts of it, and they get too bogged down in this investigation to realize that such spiritual things aren't made of nuts and bolts at all.
"I tinker, therefore I am"
Gnomes are, of course, most famous for their technology, and have been rivals of the goblins and their technology ever since anyone can remember. This rivalry has ever escalated into any sort of fighting, of course -- the gnomes are too good natured and the goblins are too economically minded for either of them to think of fighting about engineering methods -- but nonetheless the two forms of technology contrast sharply with one another.
Goblins are a short-lived species who rely on wild inspiration and lucky improvisation to get things invented. If a goblin can't think of a practical marketing strategy for his invention, he'll just toss it on the trash heap and start over with something else.
Gnomes on the other hand, often spend more time on planning a scientific endeavor than on actually undertaking it. Even a measly mechanical squirrel may have pages and pages of blueprints and plans detailing every aspect of its manufacture. Gnomes persistently pursue every train of scientific thought to its ultimate end, whereas a goblin would scream out loud at the mere thought of thinking so much.
Although engineers usually take the path of tinkering associated with their race, it is not uncommon for a gnome to take up goblin engineering even if just to find out why goblins find it so interesting. Nevermind that so few goblins live to tell about why it's so interesting -- the gnome still wants to know.
"My pheromone emission analysis suggests that you and I share a 97.43% compatibility rating, and leads me to the inexorable conclusion that we should explore our mutual interest in our common inquiries with the ultimate intention of perpetuating our species in accordance with our natural biology!"
A gnome life is, like that of a dwarf, long enough to enjoy the relentless pursuit of knowledge, but short enough not to get boring. While the dwarves pursue the mysteries of the past, however, the gnomes only have eyes for the future and the present. They both mature at about the same rate, becoming adult at 40 years, though the gnomes enter middle age a bit earlier at the age of 100 or so, and may die of old age as early as 150 years old. 200 is considered quite old, though a few gnomes have managed to survive up to 500 years, possibly just by wanting to scientifically prove it was possible to do so.
Any gnome alive today would have grown up in Gnomeregan, of course, surrounded by the quest for knowledge on all sides. Upon reaching adulthood, he or she would have chosen a new surname as a mark of some personal achievement or trait (such as Manamilk, or Whistlespring). Some of the more mature gnomes might have participated to some extent in the Second War roughly 20 years ago, but a youthful gnome would have just reached the spritely young age of 45 or 50 or so when chaos broke loose in Gnomeregan. That experience was very likely the worst of your dear gnome's life, but he or she lived through it and sees no point in dwelling on the unpleasant things of life. Some gnomes, such as High Tinker Mekkatorque himself, bend all their energies towards retaking their home from the leper gnomes and the troggs, but many others have accepted its loss due to permanent radiation and have already moved on to other avenues of inquiry, seeking understanding of previously unimaginable mysteries. To be a gnome is to question the very foundations of reality, and live to make an invention out of it.
For further reading about gnomes, check out WoWWiki's information about gnomes (though I found some things there to be inaccurate or confusing), as well as Dramatis-Personae's short summary of how a gnomish adventurer's story would start. Even though there isn't much lore about gnomes, they are possibly the most fertile ground for the imagination of all the WoW races, and require the least management of tricky dates and timelines. If you don't know much about WoW lore and have an appreciation for silliness and cuteness, gnomes are the race for you.
[Edited to add a little bit about gnomish surnames]
Filed under: Alliance, Gnomes, Lore, Guides, RP, All the World's a Stage (Roleplaying), Engineering






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Marc Sep 14th 2008 6:22PM
There really is no excuse for pink hair.
R. Sue Sep 14th 2008 6:30PM
Not even radiation poisoning?
Sean Riley Sep 14th 2008 7:06PM
I'm continually stunned by how hostile people are to even a single silly touch in WoW. It's a game of comic fantasy, people; deal with it.
MacGayver Sep 14th 2008 7:13PM
I'm continually stunned by how fanatic people are to even a single silly touch in WoW. It's a game full of people making jokes about stuff; deal with it.
Sean Riley Sep 14th 2008 8:23PM
Isn't that exactly what I said?
Tasty Sep 15th 2008 12:15AM
You missed the point completely :) he was mocking you for your fanatical defense of the sillyness when the original comment may have been in humor anyway!
onetrueping Sep 15th 2008 2:47AM
If you check the times, he said it just shortly after you did, so your comment might not have been visible at the time. And yer both right, anyhow.
Kinda creepy how both posts say almost exactly the same thing, though.
Marc Sep 15th 2008 6:07AM
@Tasty,
Yes, they should take their own advice and not get so defensive.
MM Sep 14th 2008 6:34PM
I wish I knew more about Gnomeregan. It seems odd for such an inquisitive race to spend their entire lives underground. It raises the question - could a gnome spend their entire life underground? Would that be good for them as a race? And the fall of gnomeregan suggests a darker side. Did Thermaplugg destroy it single-handedly, or did he have help? Are the lepers the faction of gnomes unhappy with Mekkatorque's leadership, and was it they that brought about Therma's rise to power?
Ametrine Sep 14th 2008 7:48PM
Many, gnome and otherwise, believe that, by ways and for reasons unknown, Thermaplugg actively sought out the troggs, perhaps in an attempt to "stage" an invasion in order to both humiliate and defeat Mekkatorque and simultaneously portray himself as a rescuer and savior of Gnomeregan, thus insuring himself to swifty claim the throne and title of High Tinker... but the troggs were not so easily controlled.
The leper gnomes, and possibly Thermaplugg himself, have been mutated and driven insane from the effects of the radiation... the lepers reliving the "fall of Gnomeregan" all over again, seeing any who set foot in Gnomeregan as invading troggs who must be stopped at any cost, while Mekkatorque himself, in his madness, believes his plans a success, and that he is the new king of a reborn city.
As for the present of the Dark Iron dwarves in Gnomeregan... that is a mystery - perhaps they are trying to overpower the maddened lepers and their delusional king to establish the city as a secret base close to Ironforge, or maybe studying the radiation for use as a weapon... or perhaps something even more sinister, who can be sure?
kabshiel Sep 14th 2008 10:06PM
From the presence of a rare mob called "Dark Iron Ambassador", I assume the Dark Iron dwarves are there to ally with Thermaplugg.
Balli Sep 14th 2008 6:47PM
A very nice addition to a lovely series. Good work.
I have to say, though, that my gnome character isn't a big city Gnomeregan-gnome. He's a country gnome, born and raised. No less tinkering, his devices were mostly aimed at easing the country life. Automatic cookie-cutters and the like.
His home is, or rather was, Silverpine forest. Most other races seem to think Gnomeregan was the major population center for gnome-kind, but the truth is that it was the only readily visible, and then only because of the terrible catastrophe. Gnomers have always known that the sometimes brutish and warlike attitudes of the giant-kin races often clash with the Gnomer way of life, and as such they've learned that there is a quality in being ...comparatively small and hidden from plain view.
In Silverpine, his small village had mostly only business with a human village not far away. Trading the fruits of the forest and devices that even clumsier hands can handle, like egg-timers and the like, for more exotic goods, the gnomer village first learned of the plague when it hit the human villagers.
Though no gnome to my knowledge has contracted the disease, his village was evacuated with the rest of the greater Lorderon, and by way of boat from Southshore to a temporary detainment and quarantine camp in Menethil he was finally united with his distant cousins from Gnomeregan in Ironforge.
It wasn't until the camp in Menethil he had learned of the troubles with Troggs and the huge toll of life they and the radiation sickness brought to them. Many family members are now living a nightmare as the twisted minds of the radiation leprocy make them unable to discern friend from foe.
Gnomeregan, those fallen and those who may still yet be rescued aren't forgotten. Neither are the many gnome refugees, displaced from their villages by war, starvation or plague.
For many gnomes, the happy smile hides a teary heart, but a gnomer mind is always working on solutions. Even to problems that may seem impossible.
David Bowers Sep 15th 2008 2:18AM
There's so little lore about the gnomes that it's hard to argue with this one. The lore doesn't say it couldn't happen, and there was even one ancient gnome in Tirisfal long long ago, named "Erbag" of all things. There's no mention of how he got there or anything. Just that he was one of the "Guardians of Tirisfal" who were supposed to protect Azeroth from the Burning Legion.
So I suppose there could have been gnomes living anywhere else in the Eastern Kingdoms, but I wouldn't make a character like that unless I had done a ton of research about it (like you have, apparently).
Taytayflan Sep 14th 2008 6:54PM
"My pheromone emission analysis suggests that you and I share a 97.43% compatibility rating, and leads me to the inexorable conclusion that we should explore our mutual interest in our common inquiries with the ultimate intention of perpetuating our species in accordance with our natural biology!"
Hmm, that's an interesting pickup line.
Sean Riley Sep 14th 2008 7:07PM
It's a dreadful one, though, for gnomes. They'll spend the next few hours debating the methodology of the study.
Best to stick to smaller scale studies.
David Bowers Sep 15th 2008 2:33AM
Pick up line? I thought it was more along the lines of, "Hey you and I are a perfect match. Whaddya say we get married and have babies?"
PimpyMicPimp Sep 14th 2008 6:58PM
I love Gnomes; they are are so awesome for so many reasons. Gnomes seem to embody some of the best human traits we have. I love 'em.
Ever since I started playing WoW, coming up on three years, I've longed for a world event to reclaim Gnomergan (as well as a home for the Trolls, my second favourite race). I think it would not only be fun, but give Gnomes some awesome history that we so rightly deserve. Give me Gnomergan or give me death!
vendrill Sep 16th 2008 7:03AM
"Gnomes seem to embody some of the best human traits we have."
... ARE YOU ON CRACK??? /shudder
"Give me Gnomergan or give me death!"
...well, if you are a gnome, which it sounds like you are, both would be in order. Most people loathe Gnomer more than any other instance. I'm all for rounding up all of the gnomes and locking them all up in Gnomer and turning on the gas.
Spritetoggle Sep 14th 2008 10:49PM
Vendrill, you're going to HATE me.
Gnomeregan is probably one of my favorite instances, alongside Blackrock Depths. >_
vendrill Sep 16th 2008 7:02AM
Hate? No way! I love you, man! /sniff