Jonathan Lee Riches has a better imagination than you, sues Blizzard
by Adam Holisky 
Nov 5th 2008 at 3:00PM
A man sitting in a South Carolina prison serving time for wire fraud has decided to file a third-party motion in the MDY v. Blizzard. Jonathan Riches is accusing Blizzard of "...causing [me] to live in a virtual universe, where [I] explored the landscape committing identity theft and fighting cybermonster rival hacker gangs."I probably don't need to say anything else, and he probably doesn't either. I'm pretty sure most judges would just throw the motion out right there. But, the motion continues...
"Riches was addicted to video games and lost touch with reality because of [Blizzard]. This caused Riches to commit fraud to buy [Blizzard's] video games. Riches chose World of Warcraft over working a legit job. Riches mind became a living video game."
Wow. Just wow.
Is that all that bad? I would love to live my life as a video game. Maybe one day my girlfriend will show up as an Eredar Twin or Pirate. That wouldn't be so bad. Or perhaps she'll be riding around on a giant turtle. With pink elephants.
He has also sued the Eiffel Tower, and lost.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Blizzard, Humor
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Todd Nov 5th 2008 3:07PM
I may drive down to South Carolina just to sit in on the court hearing. I would probably also be removed from the court on account of laughing so hard.
cjshrader Nov 5th 2008 3:07PM
I wish him the best of luck in his case. The Eiffel tower probably had it coming, too.
Rat Nov 5th 2008 3:10PM
This guy is hilarious. Try looking him up on Wikipedia if you want a laugh--over the course of his "career" he's sued just about everybody, and for some very amusing reasons. Some of the people or entities he's 'sued' include Martha Stewart, Steve Jobs, Michael Vick, Plato, Nostradamus, the Lincoln Memorial, Mein Kampf, and Three Mile Island.
Somehow I don't think Blizzard has anything to worry about.
Netherscourge Nov 5th 2008 3:11PM
Jack Thompson changed his name to Jonathan Lee Riches?
Adam Holisky Nov 5th 2008 3:11PM
I lol'd
Ichthus Nov 5th 2008 3:15PM
*waits for the Penny Arcade comic*
theholyevil Nov 5th 2008 3:14PM
that Oreo made me fat your honor! I swear!
Mc Donald's made me eat that hamburger! Really!
soon to join the idiots lawsuits hall of fame.....
Cinnabunz Nov 5th 2008 3:15PM
This has got to be the funniest thing I've heard all day! Why don't they just execute him and save us all?
Bullethead Nov 5th 2008 4:45PM
The funniest thing I heard today was that the people of America actually elected a man who has zero experience running anything, has only served a handful of years in a politcal position, and no military experience at all to run their country and sit as commander and chief of the largest military in the world. I lol'd IRL!
Barack Obama says, "Welcome to the USSA, the United Socialist States of America. Wow, Americans ARE stupid!"
Todd Nov 5th 2008 4:48PM
@Bullethead
Heh, you crack me up. At least they didn't elect that other guy, the one who got himself captured as a prisoner of war. What a noob. He should have feigned death.
zombie Nov 5th 2008 4:51PM
You forgot to mention he is replacing the most idiotic human being ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH... BESIDES YOU
DOUCHEBAG
Lemons Nov 5th 2008 7:56PM
Actually, the largest military in world would have to be china...by far, ours is just more technologically advanced.
Oh and thank you zombie for defending the good ol' USA, even though your argument made ZERO sense. You basically agreed with them and added on that our previous president is the stupidest human on the planet.
By that logic a highly intelligent chimp could of replaced him...good job...really...you are truly the master of debate...
...as for what I think about it, you don't wanna know what I think.
Bullethead Nov 6th 2008 8:24AM
look, Zombie signed his message with his real name... DOUCHEBAG
Don't you know you should never use your real name? Some people.
Ichthus Nov 5th 2008 3:15PM
People do crazy things sometimes. This has nothing to do with any particular influence. Sure, certain influences have been blamed throughout history: rock and roll, dancing, drugs, alcohol, dungeons and dragons, women showing the taboo body part of the era, the devil, and now video games.
It comes down to the fact that people do crazy things. Nothing is going to stop it from happening and preventing the public from receiving certain stimuli isn't going to change that fact.
Scott Nov 5th 2008 3:44PM
The hell are you babbling about?
This is about an mentally ill man who keeps suing people for stupid reasons.
Melchior Nov 5th 2008 3:18PM
Hmm... Maybe I can sue the porn industry... "Melchior was addicted to porn and lost touch with reality because of [Porn]. This caused Melchior to unthinkable acts to buy [Porn]. Melchoir chose [Porn] over working a legit job. Melchoirs mind became a living fantasy world." ...Sound about right?
Angel Nov 5th 2008 3:24PM
I lol'ed! Really!
Funny how u can just change it to anything :D! Easy Copy and paste instead of writing a whole new case to to court :D just change the [...] and he has a new person to sue!
Lol just Lol
Eversor Nov 5th 2008 4:05PM
Instead of [porn], imagine [puppies] instead. Or [muppets]. Or [lighbulbs].
Too bad you can't stop someone from sueing... at least JT was stoppable. Then again, this guy is just going after easy profit and doesn't really have an agenda against anything.
Kirioth Nov 5th 2008 3:23PM
You'd at least think he'd make the effort to sue Blizzard over a game that they've actually made. Unless I'm the ignorant one out of the two of us, I don't remember Blizz ever making a game that involved identity theft and cyber monster hacker gangs.
Narune Nov 5th 2008 3:23PM
The scary thing is that a lot of people down south actually believe this kind of crap. It's crazy the way some blame everything from video games, music, tv, or pretty much any media for the decisions they (or their kids) make. How is it that the people who spout off most about free will are the same crazies that can't seem to take responsibility for their own choices?