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All of the latest Mists of Pandaria newsHi, my name is mandy*
by Amanda Dean 
Dec 19th 2008 at 1:00PM
Do you ever stop to think about the other players in WoW? The game attracts a wide range of folks, but odds are good many of them are remarkably similar to you in many ways. Sometimes it's hard to remember that there is a living being behind those pixels. Someone who is excited by triumphs and aggravated by mistakes. Oddly enough, we don't always treat them as real people.Take for instance one of the PUGs I did this evening. Within 10 minutes of joining the group, the Hunter typed a vulgar joke in party chat. At this point I saw four options four options for dealing with it:
1. Go with it and pretend like it was funny, but that might encourage more of the same behavior.
2. Report it and leave the group, but that would be bratty of me.
3. Scold the player for the objectionable comment, but that would make a big deal out of it.
4. Ignore it, and hope that a lack of response extinguishes the behavior.
I chose option four. I just let it slide and went on tanking my merry way through the instance. About four pulls later, said Hunter prodded me to comment on his "humor." My response was that there is a time and a place for everything. As I saw it, a PuG was neither the appropriate time nor proper place for the joke. I believe that one should get to know the tolerance of their counterparts before making such comments.
Am I prudish and uptight? No, I make and take my fair share of off-color commentary amongst friends of a similar tolerance. On top of that, I have very thick skin. This does not change the fact that I don't make it a habit of opening a sexual dialog with complete strangers.
Prodded further, I asked the offender if he would tell the same joke to a random lady on the street. He informed me that I am not a person, I'm part of an online game. I find that odd. Do online games compulsively sip Diet Dr. Pepper and squirm around in their chairs? No, they don't. Online games don't have sensibilities or responsibilities.
Although I'm not entirely sure how to prove I exist, I'm fairly confident that I am a real person. The faceless nature of the online connection can bring out the worst of us. We've probably all forgotten that the pixels are controlled by flesh and blood. and have treated someone unkindly at on time or another. I've had the pleasure of meeting a handful of WoW players in person. It's nice to know the real face behind the Tauren or Night Elf. Even hearing voices on Vent helps add a semblance of humanity.
During this holiday season and beyond, stop to take a second and think about the folks on the other side. Remember than when you do a kindness or pay a compliment to a fellow player, your subject is a real person. It will make them feel good and they may just pay it forward. When you're being obnoxious or cruel to someone on WoW, you are also affecting someone else. Also bear in mind that anything you type is available for review should the person you offended chose option two.
Use this as a Litmus test for off-topic chit-chat: If you wouldn't say it to a stranger sitting next to you on an airplane, don't say it in a PuG.
*Yes, I spell my name with a lower case m.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Fan stuff, Virtual selves, Odds and ends, Instances
Reader Comments (Page 12 of 12)
cynmoon Dec 20th 2008 2:58AM
Before anybody even mentions it: cynmoon is my avatar name, which is the shortened version of my e-mail, neither of which are even close to my real name. Avatar names are not real names. Unless it IS your real name and you're still not capitalizing it. Then you're just a weirdo too. :-/
Amaxe Dec 20th 2008 8:52AM
It's still a case of "Do as I say, not as I do."
Is cynmoon a person or not? Under your logic, you are worth no more respect than "mandy" is.
As for your English lesson, English is rather a bastard language of Germanic, Romance and Gaelic languages, with all of the unconventional spellings out there.
You may not like the existence of the person who uses lowercase, but it is a matter of personal tastes, and I think seeing a "mandy" is less annoying than seeing a "WTFpwned" or "nOObkiller"
cynmoon Dec 20th 2008 3:36PM
As I've already stated, cynmoon isn't a person, nor do I consider it a person. It's an abbreviated e-mail. As far as I know, e-mail addresses aren't people. My rl mailbox says "mailbox" on it. Just because it's labeled and I receive my mail there, doesn't make it a person.
Depending where you are that's speaking it, English is derived from a lot of languages but is Germanic (as opposed to Latin based, another family) in origin. Unfortunately English is one of those funny languages where pronunciation and spelling is not so much based on the rules of the specific languages so much as it's based on the rules of the root language of the word. Fun, yes? For MacDonald it's pretty safe to assume the root is Scottish Gaelic. I'm sure you could google it ("google" in this case is used as the verb, not the noun, which would be "Google" obviously). "Mandy" is English in origin, funny enough (though "Amanda" is from Latin) which as a name is a proper noun, which means it's capitalized in the beginning.
As far as the using a lower case letter at the beginning of your name, it's not a matter of personal taste so much as it's a matter of right and wrong. Somebody dotting their eyes with hearts, or spelling their name with superfluous y's, k's, and l's is a matter of personal taste. Still annoying (sorry to all the Krystall's out there, it just is) but not technically wrong.
Making an informed decision to be wrong is... well, wrong. And considering she actually made the effort to inform us she spells her name that way, and knowing she's on a blog where people can comment (and would comment about it) either means she knew there would be consequences (in the form of trolling and flames) and she's ready to deal with them or she's a moron who assumed people wouldn't take issue with it.
I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume she knew people would comment. Which I did, thus fulfilling my role as reader.
Or maybe she's trying to make her name a verb? In which case she's still using incorrectly, and "Hi my name is mandy" is still an incomplete sentence. :-P
Lemons Dec 20th 2008 3:07AM
I love the hunter's explaination "You're not a real person"? LOL. That's the best he could come up with?
It's more like "We'll never meet face to face so I don't care htf I act around you."
I don't know if silence is how I've handled it, I'd proabably just type "epic fail". I think he'd get the message, and if he dicided to leave it's like meh, just by typing "LF hunter" I think I'd get 34 whispers on my server.
MasterVelles Dec 20th 2008 7:49AM
The girls who have an issue with how she spells her name really need to re-evaluate their situation. "OMG, you spell your name funny, that makes girl gamerz look bad!" Not at all, if you're not being taken seriously it's because of something you've done. There are those who command respect and those who demand it. The girl gamers I play with command it and it's there by default just like the guy gamers I play with.
Then there is the issue of "This is the internet, people can say whatever they want, there is a filter for a reason, just use it." If that were the case then no one could ever be reported for profanity, since there is a filter. Blizzard still does not tolerate it, it's in the terms of service that you all signed and agreed to. It's also not a matter of being thin-skinned, it's a matter of manners. I can't remember all the guild members I've kicked out over things like this.
Doesn't matter if anyone agrees with you mandy, it's your opinion, which is the point of a blog. It doesn't matter if anyone agrees with me either, I just feel better having typed this out and gotten it off my chest.
Sæ Dec 20th 2008 8:54AM
Hmm, some weird comments you received there, mandy.
Anyway, lately it has been so awfully apparent to me that other characters are indeed other human beings. Now, I've been playing since original game's launch and have always been easy on people. Never did I /ignore someone, I never yelled, never got upset, never scolded someone, and I always replied ignorance with helpful information and a friendly tone.
Lately, (and I mean "since TBC lately") this attitude has gotten me so frustrated. 'cause Indeed, these are real people you're dealing with in the game, and most of them are f*ckin' stupid.
I don't have any predisposition against any player, and am equally neutral towards everyone. But if they start annoying me constantly they go straight on the /ignore list.
I never yell at people for not doing things perfectly, I don't get upset on wipes or ninja pulls (I actually think ninja pulls make it more interesting for me as tank) and I never demean anyone for not knowing EVERYTHING about the game. But I do get upset about these anal little bastards that think they're spell power means the world to the group and that their time is the only time that matters and we oughta pull quicker because Naxx25 starts in 10 minutes. It's the same guy that immediatly hits "Alt+F4" when you wipe on the first boss because a DPS didn't know exactly what to do. It's the same guy that used to start a Khara PUG with "experience needed, /w me with stats" and posted DPS meters before the first boss as to decide whether or not to 'ninja-leave' if he didn't want to be saved with this group.
It's the whole TBC-stat-based mentality (lol omg, 10 man raid, serious business), endorsed by the 'fart for epics' attitude Blizz has taken on. 'You don't have 28k HP unbuffed? We can never do this 10 man raid encounter!' and the entire raid's gone. This is what the WoW community is prominently comprised of. The baby-boom of Azeroth. Mostly BE paladins, you'll notice. So now it works different for me.
I don't care if you're new, or don't have good gear. If you're willing and play for fun, I'll tank anything for you. If you say you're having trouble with my takning, I'll listen and change it for the run. If you don't know a boss-encounter, I'll explain it so you won't have to feel 'embarassed' next time. But if you start nagging me about my 'avoidance' in a 5 man instance - and believe you me, my gear is above average for WotLK raids - and use it as an excuse for your poor healing skills, then you've crossed the line.
If, of course, you question it, we discuss it maturely and reach a conclusion (regardless if it is positive for me or not), then everything's cool. But if you act childish or rude...
I don't say a word 'till the run is complete, because as a tank I feel it's mostly my resonsibility to get the group across the finish line. This because I do the pulling, decide what groups to take on, mark, etc. And I simply do not want people to lose time/fun over a personal thing.
But once it's finished you can expect a barrage of everything that violates the EULA, and at that point, I really don't care. Racial slurs will be used if you accidentally said something about your nationality. After which I will report you in a mature way to your guild leader, and, if your guildname annoys me, I shan't hesitate to /ignore all the players of your guild who happen to be online at that time, included said leader.
I've done this since about 2 months prior to the release of WotLK and have quite an extensive ignore list, made possible by the IgnoreMore add on. I've never been banned, muted or warned because of this, and it has improved my gameplay SIGNIFICANTLY.
As one of the well-known tanks on the server, I do not suffer from this in any way whilst PUGing, and I never give second chances, unless, MAYBE you were ignored in my ignoring complete guild sprees, which I can check with my handy ignore notes (also made possible by the supercool IgnoreMore add on). But even then, will only do it if it benefits me in such a way that it exceeds my pride of my lengthy ignore list. Which hasn't occured yet.
So, yeah. I know this is a very 'hardcore' way of treating people. But it has treated me well.
I hate most people on WoW. And /ignore is my best friend. I of course know that not alot of people do it this way, but for me it's fair, and someone should tell them they're complete f*ck-ups and not keep their mouth shut because they do more DPS than anyone else in the group. In the end, you pay for the game, just like them. You pay for the feature to play without them. Don't be afraid to use it.
Pie-bye
Vragis Dec 20th 2008 9:18AM
I play an undead lock. I act like an asshole in the game cause I presume a demon summoning zombie wouldn't be the nicest guy to deal with either. However, I do realize that while my guildies might like an offcolor joke, Trade chat doesn't need it. Still, was this worth an article?
Can I have a job writing emo columns about how people ninja-ing my herbs makes me feel? Perhaps one about how my fragile self esteem is shattered when a ret pally or a rogue rips me a new asshole in PvP? Seems like that'd be a much easier job than the one I currently have.
Oh, and I spell my name as Vragis, Bringer of Destruction and Doom, Slaughterer of Innocent Noobs, Bane of the Alliance...with a small V. :-p
On second though, maybe I act like an asshole in game cause I am an asshole...
miyazana Dec 20th 2008 10:46AM
i am once again putting a comment on this treat because this kind of thing really interests me because it is the very reason i play mmo's and not other games.
I enjoy the social interaction that comes along with games like wow and other mmo's. but the blogger was not being "emo" which by the way is a term not many ADULTS use. They were voiceing there opinion and (if i read correctly) their disgust at the viewpoint of an increasingly large percent of the wow community. Its just basic human courtesy and respect should not be throw out of the window because your communicating via the internet.
She wasent whining, complaining, nore denying shes never made a joke, its just when you PUG you DO NOT know who you are playing with. The person she wrote about was obviously over the top and then begged for a response. I dont believe she was "hurt." She just did what she thought was appropriate and she thought she would share one of lifes little conundrums*sp with the rest.
Its not strickly limited to the internet, i realize. You cant walk into a mall or movie theather without being thrust into a cloud of teen crassness and ignorance.
I play on an RP server, i get the people who say "its not me, its my character" and i guess a dwarf making smarmy drunk comments would make sense, or an undead talking about death an decay makes sense. But you can even RP without being a douche.
/ignore is my best friend
if it means anything, i also hate obnoxious uses of smiley faces and exclimation points.
SBKT Dec 20th 2008 11:27PM
Mandy, if you can, could you go on some time tomorrow? I miss you on there. Or send a tell.
Bakor Dec 21st 2008 3:45PM
The first few replies did nothing but strengthen her argument. Common courtesy goes a long way. However, I fear that many people no longer know what common courtesy is.
farfromout Dec 22nd 2008 12:11PM
Amanda Dean, or mandy, consistantly writes drivel on this blog.
I have managed to stay away for a few weeks now, 'cause of the consistant crappy articles, but I find myself returning when work gets a little boring.
This article is terrible. Who keeps paying (I don't know if she gets paid, I would assume so) mandy to write this crap. I literally could write something more interesting, like this comment, for example.
Matdredalia Dec 23rd 2008 9:09AM
I actually read mandy's articles more than anybody else's in this place.
I like reading about another gamer's experience, I like reading about her opinion, and I like that WoWInsider doesn't just cater to people like you or the other bunch of jerks who are bashing mandy simply for posting because "*beats chest* It's a WoW Blog. Must only have stats, gear, and phat epics. "
For the love of God, if you don't like her articles, don't read them.
muddy Dec 22nd 2008 5:35PM
Wow, just wow.
Can we put the fangs and claws back people?
Step back and realize it's a GOOD thing to be respectful and act civilized even when playing online.
Reason number one I don't pvp, jerks like this (and some responding here it seems) abound in those areas.
Matdredalia Dec 23rd 2008 9:07AM
Wow. I found this post insightful and completely full of win. Maybe it's because I've always tried to do unto others in WoW and have always held the ideal that no matter what MMO you're playing, those are real people behind the screen and they deserve respect.
Regardless, I thought the post was well thought out and perfectly relevant.
Too bad so many asshats came out in droves in the comments to be obnoxious and rude. Heaven forbid someone have an opinion about WoW and post it in a freakin' WoW BLOG! *GASP*
*sigh* I really miss EverQuest. People came first there back in the day, not the pixels or the lewts.
Faeries Wear Boots Dec 23rd 2008 9:23AM
You had me at the picture of Vernon kicking Roy's ass.
/swoon
Relk Dec 23rd 2008 10:49AM
The rude and obnoxious comments on this article just go to prove that the majority of people want to not care that other people playing the game are living breathing beings. If all you want is a video game, go play Final Fantasy or Fable and save people the misfortune of being in your company please.
Massively Multiplayer = more than just you playing
Handmaiden Dec 23rd 2008 12:13PM
@ JuicedCardinal
As a lover of E. E. Cummings, I would like to point out that the poet himself (although he at times rendered his name in all lowercase) is on record as preferring the properly capitalized and punctuated version of his name.