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All of the latest Mists of Pandaria newsBreakfast Topic: Should the girlfriend play WoW?
by Adam Holisky 
Jan 8th 2009 at 8:00AM
I have a confession to make.My girlfriend doesn't play WoW. However she probably knows more about it than most people. She's been there when I hoot and holler over vent when I've defeated hard bosses like Kale'thas. And she's listened to me whine and complain about how I think everyone on the internet hates me (I'm kidding of course, it's only Retribution Paladins and Death Knights who hate me, or maybe it was Protection Warriors and Elemental Shamans, I can never remember).
Occasionally she can be found browsing the site to see what I've been working on. Like the time that I was in LA at BlizzCon and Mike Schramm sent me forth to risk my life in a fire. That went over well.
But despite my immersion in the game and the community surrounding it she has yet to pick up a sword and fight the Horde.
I'm trying to figure out if that's something that should change.
Of course it's not my decision to make, but it's a good thing if couples have their own activities. WoW is sorta my thing, and while I love her and all that jazz, I have to wonder if WoW should just be my thing. A thing I can get away from it all with. A thing that I don't have to worry about giving her enough gold to buy an epic flying mount. A thing where I don't have to explain why my Night Elf Druid likes to dance naked on top of mailboxes.
Of course with all that said I think it would be good if we can play a detailed game together. We enjoy the board games and card games. Monopoly rocks and all that. But there's nothing like an RPG where you find yourself immersed in a virtual world with real people.
This is something we're discussing, and we should have a decision made soon. It is taking a while since the discussion is coming in-between episodes of Ghost Hunters and Keith Olberman, but we're still talking about it.
So I ask you WoW Insider readers, should my girlfriend play WoW? Is this game better as a couple's activity or as my solo thing?
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Breakfast Topics
Reader Comments (Page 3 of 15)
Pyornthe Jan 8th 2009 12:07PM
I bought my boyfriend epic flying, a mount, cold weather flying, and God-knows how much other stuff.
I don't do it because I feel I have to or in the hopes that it will be returned; I do it because it brings him some degree of happiness. And if I can make someone happy with something as simple as virtual gold, then I cannot think of any better use for it.
Zythern Jan 8th 2009 8:14AM
Everyone is making it sound like she would need lots of care to be able to succeed. Well a part is true, we all need some advice when we start out. My first character was a balance druid but I didn't like to use my spells over my bear form.
However, I know females in my guild that are better players than most guys. They farm their own gold and get their own gear. It is not necessarily going to mean you lose out on all this stuff. It just means that she will need help at the beginning.
It is not hard to make it so your characters compliment each other either. That way there is a feel of accomplishment for both of you and a level of trust.
However one risk that I have seen, are you prepared to introduce her and have her become a better player than you? Most guys do not.
Rekkla Jan 8th 2009 3:41PM
I wish my gf was as into the game as I so that such would be a possibility.
We figured out a kickass tandem of toons to level together, and that is a feral druid (with inscription) and enh shammy.
That way both of you can hearth together more than once an hour, both can res eachother, the shammy gets the once-an-hour selfres in case each of you wipe, and should she tank with her druid, I get melee attack bonus. I can't think of a better tandem for a couple to level together.
Nonetheless, her level of interest just isn't where mine is. It'd be nice if it were, but really I'm just thankful she took the time to play and get interested in something I like. And that she has an understanding about why I'm playing for hours on end :)....
Biggs Jan 8th 2009 8:15AM
I say go for it. When my wife and I were dating I showed her WoW. I let her create a toon on my account, she played it for five minutes then bought her own copy. Now we run a guild together.
As you alluded to in your article, we enjoy playing a detailed game together, in fact she knows more about the lore more then I do. Maybe have your girlfriend do what I had my wife do, create a toon just to try out, see if she likes it.
Kenny Jan 8th 2009 8:17AM
I once upon thought that they'd be no harm in introducing my gf to the wonderful World of Warcraft so we could share some more time together.
1 year later I have to beg her to go out to the movies/dinner with me. The last meal I shared with her was of the Mega Mammoth variety in the doorway to Thaddius.
Be very careful, this game changes people.
Tim Jan 8th 2009 11:18AM
This. Absolutely this. For the most part it's a non-issue, but there are times when the healthy mix of rl / ig gets stupidly out of whack. Just be careful to keep this in check, and don't be afraid to talk to her about it if it gets to be too much.
-tim
BiggusGeekus Jan 8th 2009 8:18AM
Unless you're willing to pick up one of her hobbies the answer is "no".
Actually the answer is, "obviously no, and you're a jerk for even asking."
Jess Q. Jan 8th 2009 1:14PM
Why? If she seems interested in the game, it shouldn't be an issue. It'd be different if he was pressuring her to play but it sounds like she wouldn't mind trying it on her own.
We did do the switch hobbies thing, though, in my relationship. I introduced my boyfriend to WoW, he introduced me to comics. I introduced him to Comic Con in San Diego (strange, huh, since he was the comic fan), he introduced me to Battlestar Galactica.
We met through a Star Wars fan club messageboard because I mentioned Julie Taymor's Titus, though, so maybe we're not the typical couple? I also own my own Halo edition Xbox in addition to the Xbox elite in the living room, so.
But WoW can be attractive for all types of people, even non-gamers. I was a very casual gamer before WoW but I play games a lot more now (and finish them a lot more often, too). So I say if his girlfriend is interested in playing, she should try and they should see how it goes. My boyfriend and I have a ton of fun playing together, even though sometimes we give each other shit for messing up. I have so much fun playing with him I don't really enjoy playing when he isn't anymore, even if I'm playing an alt. (Sometimes I'll ask him to cart me around on his Mechano-hog on my low-level alts, too. That's very fun.)
And with the new achievement system, I can't think of a better time to recruit-a-friend. There are a lot of achievements that weren't retroactive or that my BF missed on the way to 80, so now he can take my alt through Razorfen Kraul and get the achievement while getting me some XP in a hurry. And I do the same for him, minus the multi-person mount (curse you, Tailoring).
Korenwolf Jan 8th 2009 8:26AM
The family that slays together stays together
(Me: Prot Pally, SWMBO: Holy Pally, Son: Prot Pally, probably ret once he hits 80). Tag team paladins, I hold them, he hits them, she keeps me alive :)
BM585 Jan 8th 2009 8:18AM
When I first starting my girlfriend, she was over and using my computer and did the "Hey, what's this game?" Ended up sitting there for 4 hours playing.
Isrephael Jan 8th 2009 8:19AM
Perhaps she intrinsically knows that it would be wrong of her to fight against the Horde. And a sword? Really? I would suggest you roll up something with inordinately large shoulder pads and lower canines, pick up an axe, and cleave apart something that squeaks (I recommend Gnomes and Nelfs, but a human male will do in a pinch).
I suspect that she'll be so taken by your new-found virility that she couldn't help to be drawn-in.
Sakinah Jan 8th 2009 9:30AM
^^ Although gnomes make the cutest sound when you gank them.
On another note- I play WoW, and my boyfriend doesn't. It's not his thing- he's a Second Life kind of guy, but he's glad I've got my own thing going. He's even good about listening to me go on and on about lore and how much fun it is to being the living crap out of the Alliance. :)
Sakinah Jan 8th 2009 9:49AM
*beating. ugh. Not enough coffee...
Isrephael Jan 8th 2009 5:48PM
See? Real women roll Horde.
Frankenbean Jan 9th 2009 1:56PM
My girlfriend and I have been playing WoW together for almost as long as it has been around. It is nice to always have someone to quest with and it's awesome to be able to talk about specs and gear and etc... But with that said there are downsides too...I can only make male chars and if I make an alt without her she gets mad and thinks I don't like to play with her. WoW is much more fun to play with people you know and WoW is something that we can do together while we can't see each other irl.
Nohello Jan 8th 2009 8:21AM
break up with her.
Monkeus Jan 8th 2009 8:20AM
Kinda depends a lot on your relationship I would say.
My wife and I are fairly young and still sorta newlyweds (goin on two years) so we still pretty much like to spend all our free time hangin out together. I used to play wow back in BC, and it was the source of tons of arguments when I started raiding and taking up tons of time to play. So, between being bored with the game and that, I just quit.
Well when I decided to get back into the game for WotLK, I didn't want any more problems to arise and so I put her together a computer and put it on a desk next to mine in our office, so she can play with me.
Now, I love that my wife likes to play wow, and we have a ton of fun leveling together. You are totally right though, it opens up a host of other problems. "Why won't you get on your DK and level with me?" "I will later but Im gonna heal for this group you have to give me a bit" "UGH you never wanna play with me..." and so forth. It's brought us together a lot more than it causes problems, the aforementioned argument isn't really all that common or serious when it happens but like all things in a relationship it will happen.
I've found I enjoy the game on a whole different level when me and her are playing, where even if the zone or quests are boring and old we still have a blast. I would say if you're looking for something to do with your lady and don't mind setting aside what your doing in WoW to take the time to play with her, OR if you think she can be into it enough to play on your level so you don't have to change anything, then definately go for it.
zappo Jan 8th 2009 9:34AM
That's one thing I am hesitant to recommend to any couple that wants to play together. Don't go tank + healer for leveling. While it rocks when you are together, it creates a sort of dependency on each other that often makes it rather tough going it alone. That makes especially hard feelings when one person tries to do something on another character (finish up a daily or whatever), and it means the other person can essentially do nothing on their toon. Within reason of course, a paladin/druid combo is fairly versatile, but I've seen couples go protection warrior + holy priest, and one often doesn't get far without the other.
Aeneas Jan 8th 2009 10:17AM
I have to disagree with Zappo.
I'm a healer and my Gf plays thank. Whereas before we were very depend on each other, the last patch gave Tanks and Healers a "reasonable" dps so you can go out and fend for yourself without a problem.
Plus being sat next to each other gives a hell of an bonus to Raiding... "Last Stand, Last stand I'm stunned" just worries people when announced over Vent ^^
But to be very honest with the author , if you feel like you "Need your own space" don't bother trying to get her playing WoW.
Perhaps you need something you can do together that is good for both of you.
If she's feels you spend too much time on WoW rather than with her, perhaps you should just make the effort and cut down on your play time for her?
Moketronics Jan 8th 2009 1:16PM
My wife and I were married a yeah and a half ago now. We've been playing WoW since the begining of TBC.
I had played MMOs before but had given them up since I was going to start University. Met my wife in frosh week and have hardly been apart since.
I picked up WoW specifically as something we could play together. She had never really played videogames a lot growing up so she hated playing FPS or RTS games with me.... pretty much any game that was particularly competitive.
I had resisted trying it out, but a buddy gave me 2 trial copies and over spring break we blasted through to level 20, she as a rogue and myself as a priest.
We've never really had any problems with one of us wanting to play more then the other. We raid together - outside of raiding we try to go with any party the other is going with usually... but its not always possible and not a big deal.
She's now playing a shadow priest and I'm still playing my priest, holy in TBC and disc in WotLK. We're both about half 200 half 213 epics.
As far as gold and so on. We've got different professions and such. I had an epic flyer well before her, but she used the same money to switch mains and gear our her priest and level jewelcrafting when she switched from her rogue. She got her epic before wrath though.
We basically treat our wealth as being communal, whoevers at the AH grabs stuff for both of us. She gives me all her greens to DE. I do all her enchants for free if I've got mats. She makes me gems and gets me the ones I need from prospecting often enough.
All in all it works out really well for us.
Before WotLK we leveled horde toons to 70. We dinged every level +/- 20 minutes of eachother the entire way pretty much.