Forum Post of the Day: Great Warrior literature
by Mike Schramm 
Mar 12th 2009 at 5:00PM
This thread, sent to us by reader Talmar (thanks!) is probably the best QQ thread I've ever read. Not because it's full of substantive criticism about the class, but just because it's got lots of references meant for literary nerds like me. The styles of Kafka, Shakespeare, Camus, Wilde, and Douglas Adams (who fits in that crowd, right?) all make appearances as players combine old literary quotes with the plight of Fury Warriors.And when Pynchon shows up on page 3, then the rails really go off the tracks. But it is a lot of fun. Because if you're going to QQ, you might as well do it in style, right?
"Ghostcrawler believed in the perfect Fury build, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter -- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch our arms our further... And one fine morning --
So we grind on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
Filed under: Warrior, Analysis / Opinion, Fan stuff, Humor, Classes, Talents, Forums
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Gessilea Mar 12th 2009 5:09PM
I was wondering when that would show up here. Such an awesome, awesome thread.
Robert M Mar 12th 2009 5:22PM
eh, a QQ by any other name would smell just as vile
Gessilea Mar 12th 2009 8:43PM
@Robert M: Touche.
PopeJamal Mar 12th 2009 5:16PM
REAL literary nerds wouldn't tolerate a typo in the OP.
"Add you own below! "
Craig R Mar 12th 2009 5:21PM
Great Gatsby too great, needs nerf.
Robert M Mar 12th 2009 5:29PM
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.
"Whenever you feel like criticizing any one," he told me, "just remember that not all the classes in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had."
Jolives Mar 12th 2009 5:42PM
Fury Warriors hide your whinings
Let not light see your black and deep desires
-Macbeth
Cetha Mar 12th 2009 5:35PM
Thank you so much for pointing the way to this thread. Just what I needed at the end of a long hopeless day. As someone who performs Shakespeare for a living, it's nice to see that language and literature is not as dead to the gaming crowd as the powers that be would have us believe.
kthxbai
Jeff Mar 12th 2009 5:48PM
That gatsby misquote is one of my favorite quotes ever... how dare they!?
At least they called it orgastic and not orgiastic.
obarthelemy Mar 12th 2009 5:58PM
Fury warrior (watching DKs prancing around): "Look what they've done ! Look what the DKs have done to me! Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. "
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrested_Development_(TV_series)
thebvp Mar 12th 2009 6:04PM
There's something similar starting up in the warlock forums, but with music.
http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=15673099389&postId=156135139345&sid=1#5
Warlock Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)
Is this the real WoW-
Is this just PTR-
Caught in a stun lock-
Melee hits way too !%*#ing hard.
Open your eyes
Look at arena ratings and see
I'm just a warlock, I need no sympathy
But I'm easy stun, easy kills
*!#*ty pets, *!#*ty skills
Anyway the match goes, I don't have chance against melee
melee
Kalgan, you've killed the class
Put a rogue against my back
Watch them cloak, and then they stab
Kalgan, Wrath has just begun,
But now you've gone and thrown the class away
Kalgan, OOOOOOOOOO
I don't mean to flame melee,
But this just makes me want to quit tomorrow,
Can't carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.
Too late, the buffs may come
melee will have broke my spine
pvp hurts me all the time
goodbye arena, i've got to go,
gonna make a DK or Rogue and faceroll casters
Kalgan OOOO (any way the match goes)
I don't want to die
But we have no way to save ourselves from stun lock.
I see what is a shadow of the class
shadowflame, teleport, what the !%*# is this *!#*
Execute and Death Grip, very very frightening me.
Mutilate, Mutilate
Mutilate, Mutilate
Mutilate, Eviscerate, Stangulate
But I'm just a poor lock, everbody @!@!s me
Hes just a poor lock and a *!#*ty clothie
Taking his life with a touch so icy
Easy stun, easy kills, melee takes no skill
Strangulate! Yes, Melee takes some skill-takes no skill
Mutilate! Melee takes some skill-takes no skill
Devastate! Melee takes some skill-takes no skill
Melee takes some skill-takes no skill
Melee takes some skill-takes no skill
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Kalgan we suck, kalgan we suck, kalgan we suck please buff us
Ghostcrawler has a post put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeee!!!
So you think you can kill us with gay Killing Spree
So you think you can break us and buff melee
Oh kalgan, don't do this to us kalgan
Just gotta hearth out-just gotta hearth right outta here
Arena doesn't matter
Anyone can see,
It doesn't really matter, i think i shall stick with PvE
Any way the match goes...
skreeran Mar 12th 2009 6:04PM
It was the best of times [for Death Knights], it was the worst of times [for Fury Warriors].
GuiltyDragon Mar 12th 2009 6:07PM
tl;dr
Ozymandias Mar 12th 2009 6:17PM
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that Ghostcrawler well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these Fury Warriors
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ghostcrawler, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away
-Percy Bysshe Shelley
DeathPaladin Mar 12th 2009 7:15PM
A+ for choosing an awesome poem, F for not putting any effort into it. Try something more like this:
I met an alt from an antique patch
Who said: A vast and unequipped mace of stone
Lies in the bank. Near it by the guild vault,
Half sunk, a shatter'd bank toon lies, whose frown
And QQ and forum posts with buff commands
Tell that its dev well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The crab that mock'd them and the crab that fed.
And in the vent these words appear:
"My name is Retribution, spec of kings:
Look on my Recount, ye DPS, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level Shattrath stretches far away.
"To the Ground, Baby", by Percy Bysshe Ghostcrawler
RetadinMan Mar 13th 2009 10:47AM
I was tired when I wrote it, so dont yell at me. And Ozymandias is my favorite poem, followed by the Raven by Edgar Allen Poe.
Jalindrine Mar 12th 2009 6:24PM
"the rails really go off the tracks"
Okay, either the metaphor just got shredded, or I'm paying for not quite reading all of the last quarter of Mason & Dixon.
bod Mar 12th 2009 7:21PM
I can't remember any period in the game with this degree of buffs and nerfs, it just pissed people off. GC and the rest have lost touch with their customers pursuing the vanity of "balance"
DeathPaladin Mar 12th 2009 11:09PM
Much I marveled this ungainly crab to hear discourse so plainly,
Though the changes he proposed would shake my class down to its core.
"My DPS will suffer much," I said to him. "Why is it such
A horrid thing that we're a touch more OP than we were before
There were many OP classes that you have left untouched before."
Quoth Ghostcrawler, "Nerf them more."
Turlagh Mar 13th 2009 12:14AM
These comments made my day.