Learning to dance with WoW
by Michael Gray 
Apr 3rd 2009 at 11:00AM
I'm learning to dance. By which I mean, I'm learning various semi-ballroom or formal dances that are not characteristic of my native and well-honed ability to flop around on the dance floor like a seizing fish out of water. My fundamental problem with dancing is that I don't have any rhythm. None, nada, zip, zilch. I can notice a "beat" if it's being hammered on a drum, without any distracting vocals or "music" being played on top of it. But if that beat disappears for a millisecond, I instantly return to trampling my partner's feet.As a result, learning to dance has been a challenge. It's a little crazy, actually. There I was, struggling with the box-steps for a Waltz when a subtle inspiration hit me and my Draenei fiancee. For the box step, you kind of move around in a box. (It's not just a clever name.) But it's done on a three count. Very similarly to how you might call out Heigan's Safety Dance.
"Section 1."
"Section 2."
"Section 3."
"Teleport."
And, blushing fiercely as possible, I realized I had the steps. Yup, nailed 'em perfect every time, just by chanting that "Section 3 . . . Section 4 . . . Back to 3 . . . " The beat really was about exactly the same, and I didn't have any trouble after that.
Things didn't get any better for me when we had to do "hesitation" side-steps. Basically, you take two or three steps with the beat, then omg hurry up and take two steps for one beat! And, in the grand tradition of dorks everywhere, I was struggling to do it gracefully. And then my Draenei fiancee impishly started muttering "omigod adds. . . amigod adds. . . omigod adds. . . amigod adds. . ." (Think Noth or Kel'Thuzad.)
Yup, nailed the step right away again. So, while this may not be a direct buff from the Great Crab of Blue, Naxxramas may have helped me get my ballroom dancing right. I guess raiding makes dance steps more accessible?
I will admit, though. I'm probably not ready for the Dance Battle.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Fan stuff
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
foodlion Apr 3rd 2009 11:08AM
This is so much win!
The Last Sand Merman Apr 3rd 2009 1:32PM
It really is, for me personally, at least. I have used dance steps I "learned" from WoW in real life a few times.
I like to go to nightclubs a few times every month, and sometimes one of the "Wow tunes", like Can't Touch This or Staying Alive, will play. On those occasions, I always do my best to imitate how my toons dance.
The best part is, even though I'm definitely not much of a dancer, it actually kinda works. I had a few of my friends believe that I had actually memorized Travolta's Saturday Night Fever dance - and I was just remembering (and trying to imitate) the human male dance.
Charlie Apr 3rd 2009 3:54PM
In before the trolls >.<
This was quite an entertaining read. Glad wow helped you with your dancing =D.
lee Apr 3rd 2009 11:12AM
do you mean a chasse? a hesitation would generally involve holding over one beat without a change of weight.
noobertron Apr 3rd 2009 11:13AM
Out of all the usefull information on this site, this has to be the most useless, however it was entertaining.
Max Apr 3rd 2009 11:32AM
hey, its fun flavor articles. There isn't always exciting news to report
Candina@WH Apr 3rd 2009 1:13PM
"It was entertaining"
Then the site has achieved it mission
WoWie Zowie Apr 3rd 2009 11:24AM
next up, learning to stance dance with a warrior.
Josin Apr 3rd 2009 11:25AM
I've found the Heigan Dance to work much like a waltz. 4 Steps, then you're on to the next cycle, 4 steps, next cycle. It makes it so simple.
I'm glad someone else noticed the correlation, though I suspect the number of steps varies from race to race. My human is waltzing, but my gnome's probably doing the Quick-Step or something.
mayjest Apr 3rd 2009 11:37AM
Surely a Gnome's version of the Safety Dance is more like the foxtrot?
This is what happens when you go home for a weekend and end up watching Strictly Come Dancing. I have no idea what a Foxtrot is, aside from that it's quick and looks hard.
As a side note, as I read this, one side of my brain was thinking 'this is the most awesome thing ever', whilst the other side was mocking 'jeez, what a nerd'. Can't work out which half of the brain I like more.
daltonist_bull Apr 6th 2009 10:14AM
The Waltz(Slow Waltz or Vienesse Waltz) is a 3 step dance. Heigan's "Dance" is actually 3 step too.
zone 1-zone 2, zone 2-zone 3, zone 3-zone 4. That would be a 1 2 3. Followed by
zone 4-zone 3, zone 3-zone 2, zone 2-zone 1. that would be a 4 5 6
A waltz phrase(section of music that is relatively self contained and coherent over a medium time scale - wikipedia).
_1_ 2 3 _4_ 5 6
_2_ 2 3 _4_ 5 6
_3_ 2 3 _4_ 5 6
_4_ 2 3 _4_ 5 6
_x_ means that time has an accent. The 1 in each measure is counted as the measure number, instead of 1, to allow for parallel counting of the measures in a phrase.
naciliya Apr 3rd 2009 11:32AM
This was incredibly charming. I'd love to see more posts like this amongst the stats analysis and other ''hard news" pieces.
Braundo Apr 3rd 2009 11:32AM
I've never really seen what's supposed to be hard about this. The waves go off after precisely the same delay -- it's not hard to anticipate when they're going to go off. Just make sure you're in the safe zone before that happens. Additionally, the pattern is simply "run from one end of the room to the other, and then back."
All this talk of "beats" and "3, 4, back to 3" seems to be overcomplicating things, in my opinion.
afkautoshot Apr 3rd 2009 11:57AM
I think you missed the joke
Braundo Apr 3rd 2009 11:58AM
I number of people actually do do things like this to help them not die on the encounter, which is really what I was getting at. The article is fine :)
PUG Apr 3rd 2009 11:34AM
fat white nerds can't dance
sidhedevil Apr 3rd 2009 11:51AM
Aww! Heigan's not fat!
kotathalas Apr 3rd 2009 11:51AM
I have to agree... this whole article just made me sad on the inside. I think it's time to step away from the keyboard for a little while and feel the sun on your face. Too many nights of hardcore raiding will turn you into one of those pale white eyed lizards that can see in the dark, going on about "your precious", and seeing WoW EVERYWHERE. Sad, just sad.
Drew Apr 3rd 2009 1:53PM
And nerds who play WoW trying to make fun of other nerds that play WoW is kind of pathetic.
kozom Apr 3rd 2009 2:15PM
Hey, Tharina.
Nice try there, insulting someone under an alias.