The rise of the Failoc, Blizzard's unwanted mascot
This morning, while the US slept, I sat trying to figure out something fun I could write to help keep the site going during the inevitable BlizzCon ticket chaos. Browsing for ideas, I stumbled across Blizzard's unofficial mascot, the harbringer of chaos and mrgl-misery: the Failoc.An ugly, unwanted child spawned from last year's nightmare, the Failoc has quietly assumed his place as the herald of doom. From the first time he appeared on the official website during the great ticket sale crash of 2008, he was become as much a part of WoW lore as anything in-game. Wearing his BlizzCon 2007 suit and waving a banner reading 'oops!', whichever bright spark at Blizzard came up with his creation must be regretting it.
Murlocs themselves have always been Blizzard's unofficial mascot. Loved and reviled in equal measure by players and devs, they have been a staple (in one form or another) non-combat pet given away to BlizzCon attendees and have inspired plushies and music videos. However anyone who wandered around Elwynn Forest only to hear that terrible noise too late, only to be swarmed and slaughtered by hundreds of the little buggers will understand the feeling of dread associated with these creatures. Indeed, so insidious is this feeling of revulsion that by the time you hit level 70 it has become almost a phobia. Then Blizzard asks you to save Greengill murlocs, well it's just wrong!
But I digress.
Like all of us, Blizzard is by no means perfect. It's a massive company who consistantly tries hard but under-anticipates user demand when it comes to WoW and real word events like last year's Worldwide Invitational. Rather than talking about problems, they batten down the hatches and try to work on fixing whatever is broken. This is obvious by repeated problems when buying WWI and BlizzCon tickets but also with the post patch 3.1 hotfixes and other server instabilities. Indeed, just last night, the website servers went boom as if in anticipation of the hammering to come. Honestly I really hope that someone at Blizzard took ten minutes to read Mike Schramm's enlightening editorial, written in the aftermath of last year's ticket sales.
It's is because of all of this that the Failoc has become such a potent figure of things gone south. He symbolises everything that can go wrong and feeds that innate sense of fear that we all experience from the earliest levels of the game, regardless of class or faction. Yet being a mascot, he is also kind of cute and just a little lovable, reminding us that Blizzard might not get it right but we don't abandon them for it. Problems always have solutions, even if it takes a little while to find them.
So if we do indeed get a visit from the Failoc at some point today, just remember our own Michael Gray's seldom-repeated haiku about this unloved denizen of the lowest circle of hell:
Oh, the fail Murloc:
You innocent harbinger
of Blizzard's errors.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Blizzard, BlizzCon






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Averna May 16th 2009 11:53AM
That Borean Tundra quest is pretty awesome though. But good luck everyone who's trying to get tickets!
Friskykat May 16th 2009 11:57AM
Fourth paragraph from bottom: "batten" down the hatches, not "baton". And what on earth is "fixing whatever us brijeb"??? The proofreading in this article also gets a Failoc.
JustinM May 16th 2009 12:00PM
us brijeb = is broken, if you shift your right hand to the left one key.
MarkA May 16th 2009 12:14PM
Yeah seriously, I demand my money back, wowinsider.com!
/sarcasm
Mario C May 16th 2009 12:15PM
I think maybe Lesley Smith's typistry us brijeb.
Swift May 16th 2009 12:24PM
That haiku is wrong. Haikus are 5/7/5 Syllables.
As i read it, the first line has 6, while the second and third lines are right:
'Oh, the fa-il Mur-loc'
Drop the 'Oh' and its all kosher :D
Mike May 16th 2009 12:29PM
Fail is a monosyllabic word
Zeplar May 16th 2009 12:32PM
Fail is one syll'ble.
Now, you may argue with me
But really, you fail.
Amaxe May 16th 2009 12:46PM
Technically, haiku in Japanese are simply 14 syllables. Not necessarily 5/5/7 or 5/7/5... or at least that's what I remember from when I was studying the language.
cynmoon May 16th 2009 1:05PM
In what world is the word "fail" two syllables? :-/
Artificial May 16th 2009 1:35PM
@Swift: You're right that it's not haiku, however you're wrong about the reason, as almost all English-written haiku does not follow the 5/7/5 morae structure (it really can't -- you can try to simulate it with English "meter" but it's not the same; in fact, most English haiku has 10 to 14 syllables rather than exactly 17 morae).
DeathPaladin May 16th 2009 1:42PM
Haiku actually doesn't technically use syllables. It uses morae (traditionally known as "on"). It's only a slight difference, though, so "haiku = 17 syllables" suffices for most laypersons.
On the topic of the Failoc, though, I rather like it. The fact that Blizzard cooked it up shows that they still don't take themselves too seriously.
I am also in favor of having murloc as a playable race. They get +15 to fishing, all murloc NPCs are neutral to them (though still attackable, so they can complete quests), and they get a stacking aura that adds attack power and spellpower for every murloc within 40 yards. However, to balance that out, mobs aggro them as if they were 5 levels lower and at random intervals between 2 and 15 hours, all murloc characters are flagged for Free-for-All PvP for 10 seconds.
Karilyn May 16th 2009 1:57PM
So if I understand correctly, Morae are about hard and soft syllabic sounds...
So if I was to split up the previously mentioned haiku into morae, it would be...
Oh, the f-ai-l Mu-r-lo-c:
You i-n-no-ce-nt ha-r-b-ing-er
of Bl-iz-z-ar-d's er-ro-rs.
No, I'm probably way off D:
Eekk, it's not easy to do like it is in Japanese.
Easier in Japanese since each letter is one Morae, right?
Risible May 16th 2009 12:26PM
Failbot > Failoc
Ametrine May 16th 2009 4:35PM
Failoc is the Failbot pilot.
We're talking multi-layered fail.
Gordal May 17th 2009 7:20AM
But the Failoc piloting the Failbot is a Failbot in a Failoc costume, which is in turn...
...Ouch, I think my brain just imploded. Multi-layered fail indeed.
Amaxe May 16th 2009 12:34PM
Wish they'd at least get Armory up and running... I want to set up RAWR for my toon.
yokumgang May 16th 2009 7:42PM
I thought this was going to be about Warlocks.