Encrypted Text: The Lumberjack Rogue

Every Wednesday, Chase Christian of Encrypted Text invites you to enter the world of shadows, as we explore the secrets and mechanics of the Rogue class. This week, we talk VERY tongue-in-cheek about the upcoming addition of Axes to the Rogue arsenal.
As it turns out, my cynicism last week was completely unfounded. I had assumed Death Knights would be getting the new weapon skill that Blizzard had thrown up for grabs, and that we'd have yet another class rolling on Fist weapons. However, Rogues were the recipient of this new buff, and we'll now be able to use Axes in the upcoming patch!
While many of the old Rogue veterans may put the kibosh on using anything that's not a dagger, I'd like to see us take the opportunity to embrace this change. Orc Rogues will be able to take full advantage of Axe Specialization (which will actually include Fists in 3.2), and it opens up the door to an entirely new playstyle that I like to call 'The Lumberjack'. You'll see what I mean, after the cut.
If you heard me on the WoW.com podcast last weekend, you might've caught me mentioning the absolute lack of appropriate end-game axes available for Rogues to use. Blizzard has stated that their plan is to drop more Axes in future instances, since there is one more class capable of using them. At 80, the Touch of Madness axe is really the only viable MH contender outside of PvP gear. It seems that we'll have to wait for future itemization to appear before we'll be able to truly brandish a pair of tree destroyers.
In addition to just being able to use Axes, Blizzard remembered to change a few talents to affect Axes as well. Sword Specialization has been renamed 'Hack and Slash', and allows for extra attacks on 5% of our hits. With only quick axes available, and a talent spec that favors quick weapons to activate the 5% proc for even more attacks, I think we're looking at this all wrong. Axes are not meant to be the slow, heavy-hitting weapons of Warriors and Death Knights, but the quick and furious hackers of a mad assassin.
We shouldn't be stealing these slow Axes from the Enhancement Shaman who call us friends. We should be creating a vortex of swirling steel that any Restoration Druid would cringe upon seeing. What if we're intended to be using axes now, and we're just not picking up on the signs? First, the buff to Lightning Reflexes in the Combat tree to include 10% additional Haste. Then, the ability to use Axes. The answer is simple!
The Lumberjack Rogue:
Here's a quick link to the spec on WoWHead. It revolves around the idea of a true Lumberjack: open combat with your enemy, no stealthy attacks or dangerous assassinations. I would suggest weapons like the Last Laugh (if you can get your tanks to allow it) and the Axe of the Sen'jin Protector. The key to remember: the faster, the better. Gem and enchant all of your gear for haste rating. We're not trying to beef up the damage of a slow hitting mace or sword, and we're not trying to ambush someone from the shadows with a dagger through the heart. We're making a woodchipper of death, and may the Light help anything that's dumb enough to stick its hand and/or head into it.
Of course, there are clearly other aspects to being a Lumberjack Rogue than stacking Haste and being feared by Tree Druids from here to Tanaris. You've got to have the right threads! Find yourself a friendly tailor, and threaten them until they make you a nice Red Lumberjack Shirt and Blue Overalls. We would also be amiss in our duties if we didn't set up a quest for new Lumberjacks to receive their very own axe. A quick excursion to kill the fearsome Old Whitebark will instill a hatred for all-things-leafy in our young for years to come.
While trying to find ways for Blizzard to make the Axe transition easier, I came up with a few ability, talent, and glyph ideas.
• Glyph of Deforestation – Your Fan of Knives ability, when used with Axes, causes 50% more damage to targets in Tree Form.
• Improved Kick – Renamed to "Timber!" – Gives your Kick ability a 50/100% chance to knock over the target tree.
• Path of Wood – Similar to the Death Knight's "Path of Frost", it allows the Rogue to walk on water, by creating rolling logs in the water that he or she will then jump on. Players must remain running in order to maintain their balance.
• Item – Goblin Shredder – Ride a Goblin Shredder around! This mount is only available to Lumberjacks. This is a very fast mount.
• Glyph of Chainsaw – Your Killing Spree, when used with Axes, now instantly kills your target, but no longer retains any of its previous effects. During this kill, the camera will zoom in for a close-up as you cut your enemy in half and as you are showered with their sawdust.
• Bearded Vanish – You instantly grow a huge beard, and enemies are unable to recognize you. You are unattackable for 10 seconds, or until you cut down another tree.
The innovation doesn't stop there. Many forum posters have been begging for years to see Woodworking introduced as a new profession. We could craft bows and shields, and training weapons that speed up the Weapon Skill leveling process (which we'll all have to trudge through with our new axes). Is it coincidence that the Lumberjack is introduced just as the Resto Druid is (back) at the height of arena prowess? I believe we have been sent by Blizzard to end the Tree tyranny at the highest ends of PvP play. No more sneaking around to ambush our prey. No more crowd control or fancy footwork to outmaneuver our opponents. All that we need are a pair of axes and Slice and Dice activated.
Conclusion:
While we still may be a few patches off of true Lumberjack viability, I believe it will be catching on shortly. If you're leveling a new Rogue, there are a ton of Axe options available that were previously designed for Hunters and Warriors. It should help you through some of the weapon 'dry spots'. There's even a great starter axe at level 80 from the Sons of Hodir, which can help you get straight into Heroics with a solid blue MH. Here's to hoping we'll be drinking maple syrup and hanging out with our giant blue oxen in an upcoming patch!
Filed under: Rogue, Humor, (Rogue) Encrypted Text
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 3)
MarkA Jun 24th 2009 5:44PM
Closest thing to an Axe that I could find that was roguelike:
http://z.hubpages.com/u/326524_f260.jpg
eadipus Jun 24th 2009 5:49PM
even better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiVOG199X2c
Rustrazor Jun 24th 2009 8:00PM
I lol'd. Great article. :)
thebvp Jun 24th 2009 6:28PM
Nice Gears of War reference.
Noscy Jun 24th 2009 6:51PM
I'm a Lumber Jack and I'm ok
Zhadok Jun 25th 2009 7:58AM
He's a lumber jack and he's ok
Myf Jun 24th 2009 7:53PM
Another worthless fluff piece from Encrypted Text.
Other classes get intelligent insight, Rogues get a 1000 word joke.
MusedMoose Jun 24th 2009 7:57PM
Worthless fluff? Did you miss the part about the talent changes? The suggestions of axes to pick up? The axe-based talent build? Yes, a lot of it's humorous, but there's good info in there too.
Also, do you read Arcane Brilliance? That's intelligent insight AND a 1000 word joke every week. ...or maybe the other way around. *grin*
Chase Christian Jun 24th 2009 7:59PM
Don't blame the player, blame the (lack of) patch notes!
MusedMoose Jun 24th 2009 7:55PM
I like this a lot more than I should. *grin*
Of course, now I'll have to make a macro for my axe-wielding rogue to shout upon starting combat: "I'm a lumberjack... YOU'RE NOT OKAY."
Teaspoon Jun 24th 2009 7:59PM
Sorry, no Monty Python lumberjack sketch references here (alright, just one little aside about how I always suspected that elf rogues tend to skip and jump and like to press wild flowers), just speculation about the loot tables of the near future...
With rogues wanting slow main and fast off and shamans wanting slow for both, I think the days of the slow sword are over. Hacking with a slow axe plus slashing with a fast sword will be the definition of the hack'n'slash rogue, and there'll be a nice bunch of slow axes dropping for shamans. Huzzah!
And a bonus huzzah because it might give me access a slow mainhand axe for a dual-wielding Arms build I've been wanting to try out. Most of my attacks are based on mainhand weapon damage so I need a slow mainhand to make those attacks count, but dual wielding with a fast offhand means lots of extra hits which ought to lead to lots of extra sudden death procs and execute is based on AP and available rage and extra executes might make up for the other stuff being a little smaller. I'd look at sword spec, but with a 6s internal cooldown on the procs for the warrior version I just can't bring myself to spend those points.
Anaughtybear Jun 24th 2009 8:14PM
I'm from MN and I approve of this message.
kworry Jun 24th 2009 8:14PM
Mr T knew something!
Night Elf Mohawks with Tomahawks. The circle is complete.
RAEGLATEM Jun 24th 2009 9:36PM
I
RAEGLATEM Jun 24th 2009 9:38PM
Apparently my keyboard hates me, but:
I
RAEGLATEM Jun 24th 2009 9:39PM
Nope, my keyboard doesnt hate me... the sites encoding does... can't type < & 3 lol
oh well...
I love you chase. lol
Roddo Jun 24th 2009 11:15PM
I cant believe no one added this one! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GydQTutlJGk
It has a freakin chainsaw solo, come on!
Lemons Jun 24th 2009 11:53PM
Finally...I might have a chance against resto druids with this new build.
Klop Jun 25th 2009 3:49AM
I'm actually really really excited for this change. Not only do i love the combat tree and the opportunities this opens, but it makes so much sense for my Troll rogue to be swinging an axe into the fray.
NealC Jun 25th 2009 8:53AM
What about a special mount for the lumberjack. I am thinking "Logging Truck - This very fast mount allows the rider to pile up to 10 druids on the back"