Patch 5.4 patch notes
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The latest patch 5.4 newsDrama Mamas: Let the drama begin!
by Lisa Poisso 
Jul 10th 2009 at 1:00PM
Let the Drama Mamas guide you through the sticky business of dodging drama, toward becoming that player everyone wants in their group. Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com. Getting your own 15 Minutes of Fame is not a bad thing – except when it's for all the wrong reasons. Leave the drama, Dear Reader, to the denizens of GuildWatch. Introducing WoW.com's Drama Mamas, here to help you stay out of the wrong kind of spotlight. Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players. And just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server.
What to do, what to say? Let the Drama Mamas guide you:
- The polite way to share quest monsters
- When someone "accidentally" ninjas your loot
- When you accidentally ninja someone else's loot
- Handling the (nice but annoying) pest
- When your friend's significant other is an awful player
And now, on to the matters at hand ...
This week, the Drama Mamas lend their wisdom to two younger players wrestling with the age-old problem of ... well, age.
Drama Mama Lisa: Oh, boy (and "boy" is definitely the operative word) ... Not a Baby Boy, the problem isn't how old you are – it's how old you're not. The guilds you keep applying to are looking for dudes who are in the same general place in life as they are. It's not just things like someone whose mom won't make him stop raiding to go to bed on an exam night (although that's important, too). They're looking for someone who can relate to all the things they do outside of WoW. They want to talk about the campus parties, their jobs, dating, the social scene ... things you haven't had much of a shot at yet, at 16.
They're also looking for a place to cut loose. Vent can be a place where they can indulge, both literally and figuratively – and you're not legal age yet. Are those things part of WoW? No. Should they be important in WoW? Maybe ... But they definitely are important to your potential guildies, if they enjoy talking about that stuff in game.
It may sound backwards, but it may work in your favor to look for a guild of even older players. Players who are well past the college and early 20s years, who have busy careers and families of their own, are generally looking for a less raucous atmosphere with more of a focus on getting things done in a reasonable amount of time. And even if they do think you're a "baby boy" – well, they're parents, too. They can relate.
Drama Mama Robin: Many serious raiding guilds would appreciate your skills but probably have an age restriction due to experiences with other young players. There is a perception that younger players constantly use leetspeak, throw temper tantrums when things don't go their way and (as Drama Mama Lisa said) are beholden to a higher/parental authority.
Your job is to prove to them that they won't be able to tell how old you are:
- Fill out their guild app completely and honestly, using correct spelling and grammar. Be honest about your age, but ask for a chance to run with them to prove age will not be an issue.
- Continue using your language skills in all chat. Presenting yourself as an educated adult will make people forget you aren't.
- Respect all loot rules and decisions. All apps and new guildies are lowest on the totem pole - and this reflects real life. You aren't going to get the phat raiding lewt until you have proven yourself a valuable teammate.
- Don't commit to a raid unless you have the time and parental permission. Mom aggro sucks for everyone.
Dear Drama Mamas: My mom says it's ok to play WoW, but then she keeps not letting me play! Every time I get in a group, she wants me to do something. I'm afraid to even try to raid. She just doesn't get it. School's out! I wanna play! Help me explain that I can't just leave the game any time she wants me to or else it's just not worth playing. Signed, Sad in the SummertimeDrama Mama Robin: Sad, I can understand your frustration. My 3-year-old doesn't get it either - but unlike her, you have some options for reasoning with your mother. Scheduling is the key here. Sit down and work out two schedules with your mom: a chore schedule and a WoW schedule. If you trade her some uninterrupted chore time, my guess is that she will respect your play sessions.
Drama Mama Lisa: What your mom needs is the ol' bowling league analogy. Explain to her that playing WoW is like bowling: you can wander down to the alley and sling a few balls down the lane on your own, but it's much more fun with a group. Once you've committed to a group, your groupmates – just like the members of a bowling team – rely on you to hold up your end of the bargain.
Give your mom an idea of how long common WoW activities run: "A five-man dungeon usually takes about an hour, but it could go twice that if our group is having a hard time. I can zip through all my dailies (the chores my character uses to make money and maintain her stuff) in about X minutes. A raid is more like a bowling tournament; I need to be available the entire afternoon or evening." Then don't leave the rest to chance – talk to her in advance about which activities might match up best with the time slots when she thinks you could (and should) be playing.
Remember, your mama wouldn't want to see your name on any drama. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.Filed under: WoW Social Conventions, Virtual selves, Features, Drama Mamas
Reader Comments (Page 5 of 6)
chevysdad07 Jul 10th 2009 2:22PM
@ormal
I didnt do it because i cant get is a guild i did it to help people like him.and my lack of punctuation is a sign that i went to school in louisiana lmao.im sorry i dont get into much detail about it when i post on here but idc its nothing more than typing. i could put no periods and just have a huge run on sentance that you cuold completely not desifer.and im sorry i didnt go to college because i had a family i had to support so i had to pay bills instead of college.im not a writing/english/w/e major and dont pretend to be i just post trying to help people out or give my 2 cents. you may think that you have to capitalize every i...well "i" dont...do you type perfectly in game? if you do then its just you not me i use alot of slang to get what i am sayin out in a way that is readable but easyer to type. example...l8er,ya,w/e,things like that i use no periods and talk alot and it seems to be ok with every one exept to grammer nerds that want everything to be spelled a certain way and pronounced a certain way...you say potato i say frech fries.....lmao not big deal how someone types something at least you get the meanin and get a understanding of what they say
jestergoblin Jul 10th 2009 2:38PM
You're really not helping your case, this is exactly what guilds are trying to avoid.
Communication skills are an absolute necessity, especially in raids.
Phaea Jul 10th 2009 3:05PM
You don't need to go to college to learn basic English. These are lessons you should have learned in Elementary school, and refined in High School.
I actually did major in English in college (while supporting myself and paying my own bills, parents couldn't afford to help me), and my classes were not spent *teaching people how to capitalize words and use proper punctuation*.
Your line about not going to college is pure bullshit. It has nothing to do with typing a proper sentence. Stop pulling the sympathy card and put some effort into your written communication. As it is, no one is going to take you seriously if you keep writing like that.
chevysdad07 Jul 10th 2009 2:37PM
@impurezero
i understand that but at the lvl i am now im not to concerned with it..but heres ome ideas...you can always get a high lvl friend to help you advertize that you will start doin serious raiding and what not.or you could pug up a few times and if they like you and you like them you can always try to talk them into starting it with you. you could have the bank for just raiders or a tab for just raider and that will be rewarding.if they think you are a good raider then they will want to raid with you so if you prove to them that you are worthy then you should have to problem gettin succesful raiders to join.
Maerec Jul 10th 2009 2:46PM
Tips to not have your comment down-rated.
1. Use a typing program of some sort and check your spelling. Programs like Microsoft Word or Notepad.
2. Capitalize the first letter of a word immediately following a period.
3. Add a space after a period.
4. Learn the differences between your, you're, their, there, they're, than and then. All of them are different words and each have it's own meaning.
5. If you’re not sure how a word is used, look it up. Dictionary.com is a great place to research words.
These basic rules will take you far in life, not just here on wow.com.
mauricet68 Jul 10th 2009 2:39PM
I can't say I haven't had a problem with young people in my guild. And there are some 14 and 16 year olds in my guild that are good players and work with everyone during raids as a Team. Some young folks I had to have a talk with , but then again their are some older folks (25-47 years old) I had to have a talk with about their behavior and attitude. So to me age really doesn't matter. It is all about if you are a mature person. As a Guild Leader I try to hold the group together and how I do that is taking my real life experience as a Squad Leader in the military and bring my type of leadership to my guild mates. I have had much success where most of my guild officers and members are on a first name bases. Hell some of us even call each other to work out how to better ourselves in Raids. Anybody wanting to raid and enjoy WoW are welcomed into my Guild no matter what the age. I always lay out the ground rules on not putting up stupid behavior or guild in fighting. No matter what age a person is I or a Guild Officers will boot someone for immature behavior after you already been warned.
Naix Jul 10th 2009 2:39PM
"look for a guild of even older players. Players who are well past the college and early 20s years, who have busy careers and families of their own, are generally looking for a less raucous atmosphere with more of a focus on getting things done in a reasonable amount of time. And even if they do think you're a "baby boy" – well, they're parents, too. They can relate."
Umm I hate to tell you this but our guild has a required age of 25 and older. Our guild/vent is NO place for kids at all. With a vent full of jaded men and even some women I can tell you it gets pretty bad very quickly. It's a place to unwind and be as crude as you want without fear of what anyone might hear you say.
Naix Jul 10th 2009 2:53PM
1 more thing I forgot to add. One of the reasons why we want 25 and older is hopefully by that age you are in control of your schedule. On raid night you have spent time with your spouse, helped your kids with homework/spent quality time, done adult things, etc... By raid time you have everything else out of the way and can be focused on a 2+ hour full Naxx run.
Before this rule we had...
To watch our language in vent. But everything slipped out anyway.
Kids "forgetting" to do their homework and now we lose a tank/dps/heal
Adults neglecting spouse time and the drama that comes along with that
Dinner time happening in the middle of a raid
Age limit and time starts have fixed all this.
Lisa Poisso Jul 10th 2009 3:01PM
Naix, I think you hit the nail on the head with the whole "being in control of your own schedule thing" (although I'm not convinced that higher age limits are the answer). Still, it's more *likely* that an older person will have moved past clingy girlfriends and spouses, negotiating respect and space for uninterrupted hobby time, caving in to unnecessary phone calls and visits during raids, etc. Those are all topics I'm sure we'll be addressing over and over again!
Brian Broom Jul 10th 2009 2:44PM
"Do you have any tips on you and your 3 year old playing together?"
A couple of suggestions, depending on what both of you are looking for.
1. My wife and I used to play EQ2, and eventually my son (I think 3 at the time) wanted to play too. We made him a character (he helped pick the hair color, etc) and he just ran around in cities and jumped around. At the time, this was all he really wanted to do, so you might try that.
2. As we transitioned to WoW a couple of years ago, he wanted to try more. We made a pair of chars (dwarf pally and gnome mage) that started in the same area. I made macro's for him to /follow and /assist. Then arranged his spells so they made sense. He pushed '1' for the assist (to get targeting right) then 2 for his nuke. He's 7 now, and can move around and read/do some of the quests by himself. Sometimes he just explores areas, and fights random things. I might suggest a combo like that (tank + caster dps) since movement and positioning aren't really important. (the twoboxtoolkit addon might help also, as you can have your char initiate the follow if they get turned around)
chevysdad07 Jul 10th 2009 2:45PM
am i not the guild leader and owner funder founder w/e you whant to call it so why even worry with correcting my grammer and saying im not helpin "my" situation. im not a big raider never realy want to be, but if i need to i can write very well i just choose not to for the fun of myself and the ease of using slang type words that are fully understood from anyone over the age of 5.but yet again i will state what i have in the last post "i dont care how i type...its understood..." even you understood it lmao so why try to crit about it wen its readable and ive seen alot worse on here and on the game and can still understand it with a quick response.
Millea Jul 10th 2009 2:57PM
Because when you type like that it makes YOU look stupid. Your words were grossly misspelled. There was no punctuation to speak of, and the content was difficult to follow.
Even though you had to work instead of go to college, and you were educated in LA, doesn't mean that you can't do better than that.
Coming back on and saying that "you've seen worse" and "it is still understandable" just doesn't cut it. You don't necessarily have to have correct capitalization, maybe even misspell a word here and there (although with spell check on the google task bar there is no excuse) but to completely disregard everything just proves that you are extremely lazy and paints you in a very bad light.
Not a very smart way to work IMHO.
Linainverse Jul 10th 2009 6:06PM
Honestly, I didn't even understand half of what you typed. If you can put in [...], you can type a period at the end of the sentence. And while some shortcuts are mostly understood (w/out for example), some like your 'w/e' are not. Took me a couple minutes to realize that you meant 'whatever'. Plus your spelling is horrible. Occasionally is fine, like Millea said, but not what appears to be a full third or more of your post. That's just laziness. And 'no college education' is no excuse. I know several people who didn't finish High School (for different reasons), and they manage to type properly.
Lisa Poisso Jul 10th 2009 2:52PM
One more note about asking questions:
Questions that seem more appropriate for another column (we're already getting a lot of guild management issues, for instance) will be forwarded on to the appropriate columnist here at WoW.com -- so don't be surprised if your question pops up in another column. We've got you covered!
Fuseitana Jul 10th 2009 3:09PM
I'm much older than most of the other commenters here (I bought Pong when it first came out). I've been in guilds with youngsters that were good experiences and with kids who were terrors.
Most of the comments here have covered the important things. Don't constantly try to draw attention to yourself, don't engage in inane, idle chatter and don't get upset when the piece you've craved goes to the new dude wearing greens.
Follow those guidelines and you'll find a guild that'll be glad to have a good player.
chevysdad07 Jul 10th 2009 3:12PM
@ millea
tho i do understand were your comming from......
Well, if I was concerned about looking stupid I would type more like this.
but i type like this and i do just fine in the looking stupid factor i enjoy looking stupid bieng the class clown things like that have always worked well for me and i stand strong with everythng i do.and yes i am lazy, especialy wen im on wow.com or wow in general.its my free/lazy time so why should i put forth a big effort for spelling?i mean i put forth effort in the game but not for spelling.isnt there something called freedom of speach?(no offence to anyone in this next comment) but dont like 90% of "young people" speak some kind of jiberish that you catch like every 3rd word of? but you still understand it.so why is my writing about "my" guild getting crit bc im not taking effort in my spelling on the "great wow.com".....ever heard someone say "gah he was thuggin you" or something along that lines...? i have my sisster said somthing like that a few days ago and she had to explain it(it meant like lookin at you in a bad way or somethin) .....thats bad grammar and i dont ever hear no many complaints about that....
jbodar Jul 10th 2009 4:38PM
self·-respect (-ri spekt′)
noun
proper respect for oneself and one's worth as a person
http://www.yourdictionary.com/self-respect
chevysdad07 Jul 10th 2009 3:21PM
i think the name is great DRAMA mammas.gah u cant even post on here any more without some thinking negative about you because you didnt feel up to putting forth the effort of grammer.........get a life if all you can do is nit pick grammer........ill continue 2 tipe this > bc it be da way i gonna want to tipe....unerstan? im sry if it affects the way you type....bc it shouldnt....
The Giant Jul 10th 2009 3:36PM
Now normally I'd just tell you to =obscene string of text=, but watching your silly temper tantrums is just too much fun.
I'm simply amazed that someone who has English as their first language can't spell it right. The comment box even has a typo-filter!
impurezero Jul 10th 2009 3:42PM
Look, all I did was point out that starting a whole new guild was not a proper solution to his issues. Hell..even if he does start a new guild, it could make it harder to find the mature members he wants to play with. Who wants to know that their guild leader is way younger than them, right?
If anything, you've proved one thing for Baby Boy: It's not age that separates people. It's opinions and personalities. You, for example, would not last 2 seconds in my guild. No offense, nothing personal...but we obviously don't mesh. It probably has nothing to do with age, either.
Baby Boy...just keep looking. You'll find a guild one day who judges people on the content of their character and not by the number on their ID.
(And Chevy...please learn how to use the reply button. This conversation really doesn't need to be spaced across several pages of comments.)