WoW, Casually: Playing with your preschooler

In the comments for Drama Mamas, Orkchop asked about tips for playing WoW with his 3 year old daughter. Since, as he put it, this is more of a Mama question than a drama question and I also have a 3 year old daughter, I thought I'd create a guide for playing WoW with preschoolers. Parents have limited playtime due to their family priorities -- not necessarily because they don't want to play as much as the more hardcore players. So mixing parental duties and leisure time is efficient as well as rewarding.
The question some of you may ask is, "Should children that young play video games?" And the answer is not just "yes", but "Yes!" At the beginning of this year, I spent some time working with getting my daughter comfortable with the computer, concentrating on mouse manipulation and keyboard movement while playing many of the free preschool-age video games out there. Within a week, she was reading words like "Play" and "Skip" and navigating through Nick Jr.'s site to her favorite radio station, which she listens to while playing with her toys. The freely available games on sites like PBS Kids have really improved many of her developmental skill sets and her computer skills are now better than most of her grandparents'. Of course, now I'm having to closely monitor her computing time, lest I be subjected to fart videos from YouTube... again.
But don't just take my word for it. Sesame Workshop highly recommends that children play video games for:
healthy behaviors, traditional skills like reading and math, and 21st-century strengths such as critical thinking, global learning, and programming design.
Yeah, those are the same people who educated most of us with Sesame Street. They are actively trying to get government and industry support for digital learning tools, while trying to counteract the negative stereotypes about video games.
I'm on record for thinking parents should play WoW with their older children. Preschoolers are different from Grade School age children, however, in that they cannot fully read, have different playstyles and have varying developmental needs. After much research and practice, I offer the following tips for incorporating WoW and other MMOs into your parental nurturing time. Note: I'll be using the pronoun "she" throughout this guide, but of course the same applies to boys, too.
Don't get a separate account She's not really ready to progress a character by herself or alongside yours as of yet. That kind of structured play is not going to interest her and will only frustrate you. The time will come when you will be able to play your characters together, but that time is not now.
Character creation is fun
The Spawn loves to play dress up and creating characters is one of her favorite MMO related things, as well. The character creation in WoW is ok, but it really isn't as good as say, City of Heroes/Villains. You can let her play alone, making throwaway characters, for long periods of time. When it's time to create a character to play together, guide her in a direction that will make it fun for you, too. But let her pick the look herself. The Spawn wanted to play a character "with arrows", but was unwilling to compromise on the race -- it was Gnome or nothing. Thus, Itchee the Warlock (above) was born. Her first CoV Villain, pictured right, is completely her creation and named Moonbandage. I think I am going to start having her name my characters, too.
Teach the difference between right and wrong
Just because you are hanging with your prodigy, doesn't mean you have to stay away from the Death Knight starting quests. Nor do you have to avoid activities that involve killing cute fuzzy creatures (though I do try to use the word "defeat" instead of "kill"). Go ahead and play a villain and complete questionably immoral quests, just tell her what you are doing is wrong and only make-believe. Which leads us to...
Teach the difference between reality and fantasy
Contrary to what the alarmist thought-police of previous decades predicted, my generation did not grow up thinking that falls off of cliffs and explosions were survivable. We knew the difference between reality and fantasy. Make no mistake: this is a very valuable lesson. But I don't need to tell casual WoW players this. We play for fun and stress release, not to hone our homicidal skills. In WoW, death is not permanent. Our pets come back, the mobs we kill respawn and we are resurrected. We don't have Gnomes and Tauren and we can't ride around on dragons -- Azeroth is a make-believe playland. She probably already has a clear idea what is real and what is pretend, but playing fantasy games together will actually strengthen this.
Let her play alone
Playing alone allows her to exercise her imagination and gives her a healthy amount of control. Let her play on a level 30+ druid (shapechanging!) or a character with a flying mount and allow her minimally supervised free play. You might want to bank your gear in case of mishaps.
Play one character together
Just like the couple who overcomes adversity to play together or these cats, the two of you will probably have a great time controlling the same character together. The Spawn uses the keyboard and I use the mouse. We have an absolute blast defeating mobs and questing. Pro tip: Send your character bags and some gold when you are not playing together. Not being able to afford training and the run to the nearest mailbox is not stuff that is likely to hold her attention.
Be open to what is fun to her
Just like twigs, rocks and bugs can be endlessly distracting when taking walks with your preschooler, the things she finds entertaining in WoW are going to be unexpected and not always fun for you. The Spawn actually likes to sit down in between battles and refill mana. She worries that we'll not have enough water and makes sure that all trips to town involve restocking. I know. I don't get it either, but whatever floats her boat. Pro tip: Bank the starter outfits and all distinct, visible armor collected afterward for dress up sessions.
Keep it positive
Sometimes it's hard not to get frustrated due to running off of cliffs and avoidable deaths, but this isn't about progressing a character, it is about together time. This applies to couples playing together, too. Save any leveling aspirations for your non parenting playtime. Keep it happy and nurturing and you'll both have a better time.
Journal your time together
This actually surprised me during my "research". The Spawn enjoys looking at screenshots of her characters almost as much as she does the pictures of our recent Zoo visit. You can create a journal using a WoW.com profile, add to your blog or just keep a folder of screenshots to look through periodically. Playing together or reminiscing about playing together -- it's all good.
Of course, you should also be making sure your child stays healthy and active. All parents know this. But adding WoW to your preschooler's indoor activities has benefits for both you and her. Sharing hobbies with your children has always been considered good parenting. The Spawn thinks yarn is pretty cool, but she's having a bit more fun with Itchee. And that's okay with me.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, WoW, Casually






Reader Comments (Page 2 of 6)
Alithoe Jul 14th 2009 9:24PM
Hahahahaha! Moonbandage! I love it!
Tribunal Jul 17th 2009 7:51AM
There -needs- to be a Moonkin named that somewhere.
Hwanin Jul 14th 2009 9:26PM
You succeeded in something my past two partners weren't able to.
You made me want to have kids.
Zamalan Jul 15th 2009 6:49AM
If only you could skip over the loud and noisy years...
eric_barbaric Jul 15th 2009 9:36AM
@ Zamalan
What...you mean from birth until twenty-five years old? LOL
Draelan Jul 14th 2009 9:38PM
Ah, excellent article! I agree, game like this are a great way for adults and children to interact and have some good healthy (and educational) fun. =)
I'm not a parent myself, but I distinctly remember letting my niece run around Darkshore on my gnome warlock (and later, Stranglethorn Vale on my priest) just swimming around, killing crabs and murlocs, and generally having fun.
It's been a while, but I know she has her own characters now. (She's 10) She was recently telling me about how she started a Death Knight on my mother's account, and she and her father have some low level characters they play together.
The experience is overwhelmingly positive, and I'd definitely recommend it.
Shed Jul 14th 2009 9:41PM
My son and I have been playing WoW together for about 3 years now, starting when he was 2. He would originally sit in my lap and help heal by pushing certain buttons, or simply like riding around. Now hes learnt how to move around on his own, to use dispel when peoples bars lit up blue, and how to judge what heal to use, via some of the addons I installed. He does battlegrounds regularly and a few of the bosses in Naxx are "his bosses" that he heals on his own.
WoW has been a great way to keep him from demolishing the house, to teach him colors, hand eye coordination, counting, basic maths and even to interact with people via Vent. More parents really should consider games like WoW for their young kids (with supervision of course).
Todd Jul 14th 2009 10:19PM
"and a few of the bosses in Naxx are "his bosses" that he heals on his own."
Lol, Naxx, so easy a 5 year old can do it!
lockanon Jul 15th 2009 5:23PM
I'd be interested in recruiting your son to my guild....
Might be better than some of our healers if he can heal naxx =/
Lol... /epiphany, /cry
BlazingSky Jul 14th 2009 9:45PM
I can see having kids learn how to use a PC (or whatever, that "Macintosh" thing that's all the rage these days), but I would think that your overall learning objective might be helped along by putting your child in front of a game you can monitor, because as he/she/slavering child-like horror learns and grows, they (and you) will become comfortable enough to not think about it. Meaning that problems could crop up in your child's actions. I don't think I'd particularly let my children play any MMO (CoH is debatable, because I just turned the chat function off, and it's cartoony fun, but the leveling can't hold my attention, I doubt it could hold a child's), but to each their own.
Super Guest Man 9000 Jul 14th 2009 11:10PM
Well theres profanity filter, the ability to turn off any chat channel, and the parental control section on the account management that lets you control when an account can be played. So WoW has some devices in place to filter and control things.
JKWood Jul 15th 2009 4:36AM
/leave ChannelName
To get back in, /join ChannelName. It made sense to me, but I'm an old irc junkie. Probably not something a preschooler is going to come up with on their own.
dude Jul 14th 2009 9:45PM
I'm pretty sure I've been in pugs with some of these pre-school WoW players...
feniks9174 Jul 14th 2009 9:45PM
I think it's time I officially start referring to kids as "the adds".
Honestly, I can't wait til my daughter is old enough to understand the concept of playing a video game rather than just bashing the keyboard. If that means that I need to play Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses for 12 hours straight, then that's OK. At least I'll get to play with at least one of the people in my house since my wife seems to have no interest whatsoever.
Amara Jul 14th 2009 9:48PM
My 11month old, who just learned to say "Uh-Oh" is already a pro button masher. Teething pain was calmed with a teether and mommy flying around in big swoops through Icecrown. Both the husband and I have placeholder toons on our accounts just for when he gets older and wants to make his own. Over and over and over again apparently :)
Jason Jul 14th 2009 9:55PM
My daughter would play with me when she was 3-5 years old. Mainly just sit on my lap and push the buttons I tell her too. She would also play the flash games at the nik website and did surprisingly well.
Now she plays the sims 3 on her own. She's 6. She can read everything that comes up. She's also being placed in an advanced glass at school next year.
It's rather amazing how much better kids learn from a computer than traditional instruction. We have used several education reading sites that she just blew through at an amazing rate.
But we do regulate her time on the computer and she has plenty of time to play with friends and ride bikes. And of course to clean up her toys.
Lemons Jul 14th 2009 10:03PM
And for gods sake never let your child read trade chat!
That should have been rule #1...
Burcemage Jul 14th 2009 10:26PM
First thing First, I have a 2 year old Boy.
I will never let him play wow, I would rather my boy learn to read a book,see color outside the house where it's actualy real. Im sorry but i was addicted to wow pretty heavy, Raiding every night for about 5 hours. Wow is like Crack, would you expose you child to a Addictive game like this. Wonder how mutch Wow Time did the guy that wrote this article got for this.
Seriously if it come too a point where you try to teach your own kid to play time so you can spend time with him, it's time you look yourself in the mirror guys because you have let the game take over your life.
Myself i go outside with him and play ball, Hockey, go for walks with him. Wow will still be there when he grows up and can make his own mind about it.
But yes if you start teaching you child to play wow at this age you are out of your mind and are heavily addicted to this game.
Have you not notice that this game actualy ruined some relationship and more.
I for one do not agree with this Article trying too say that this is good a Kid.
Robin Torres Jul 14th 2009 10:37PM
Captain Obvious says that parents of small children know that they also need to do other activities with their kids. Playing video games with them is just one activity out of many. My daughter reads books all day, rides her trike and builds vast block cities to house her action figures (which are sometimes just more blocks). She also sleeps at night and is potty trained. Of course. This isn't a guide for 24 hour parenting, it's a guide for sharing this particular hobby with your child.
If you don't want to share your online hobby with your child, that's perfectly fine. But those of us who do find benefits in doing so and also respect the research of Sesame Workshop may choose to be good parents and play games with their children at the same time. We aren't addicted and are of sound mind.
I'm sorry if WoW is a problem for you and has ruined some of your relationships, but please don't project your issues on the rest of us.
Recession Jul 14th 2009 10:57PM
"Wonder how mutch Wow Time did the guy that wrote this article got for this."
Tinfoil hat much?