WoW, Casually: Playing with your preschooler

In the comments for Drama Mamas, Orkchop asked about tips for playing WoW with his 3 year old daughter. Since, as he put it, this is more of a Mama question than a drama question and I also have a 3 year old daughter, I thought I'd create a guide for playing WoW with preschoolers. Parents have limited playtime due to their family priorities -- not necessarily because they don't want to play as much as the more hardcore players. So mixing parental duties and leisure time is efficient as well as rewarding.
The question some of you may ask is, "Should children that young play video games?" And the answer is not just "yes", but "Yes!" At the beginning of this year, I spent some time working with getting my daughter comfortable with the computer, concentrating on mouse manipulation and keyboard movement while playing many of the free preschool-age video games out there. Within a week, she was reading words like "Play" and "Skip" and navigating through Nick Jr.'s site to her favorite radio station, which she listens to while playing with her toys. The freely available games on sites like PBS Kids have really improved many of her developmental skill sets and her computer skills are now better than most of her grandparents'. Of course, now I'm having to closely monitor her computing time, lest I be subjected to fart videos from YouTube... again.
But don't just take my word for it. Sesame Workshop highly recommends that children play video games for:
healthy behaviors, traditional skills like reading and math, and 21st-century strengths such as critical thinking, global learning, and programming design.
Yeah, those are the same people who educated most of us with Sesame Street. They are actively trying to get government and industry support for digital learning tools, while trying to counteract the negative stereotypes about video games.
I'm on record for thinking parents should play WoW with their older children. Preschoolers are different from Grade School age children, however, in that they cannot fully read, have different playstyles and have varying developmental needs. After much research and practice, I offer the following tips for incorporating WoW and other MMOs into your parental nurturing time. Note: I'll be using the pronoun "she" throughout this guide, but of course the same applies to boys, too.
Don't get a separate account She's not really ready to progress a character by herself or alongside yours as of yet. That kind of structured play is not going to interest her and will only frustrate you. The time will come when you will be able to play your characters together, but that time is not now.
Character creation is fun
The Spawn loves to play dress up and creating characters is one of her favorite MMO related things, as well. The character creation in WoW is ok, but it really isn't as good as say, City of Heroes/Villains. You can let her play alone, making throwaway characters, for long periods of time. When it's time to create a character to play together, guide her in a direction that will make it fun for you, too. But let her pick the look herself. The Spawn wanted to play a character "with arrows", but was unwilling to compromise on the race -- it was Gnome or nothing. Thus, Itchee the Warlock (above) was born. Her first CoV Villain, pictured right, is completely her creation and named Moonbandage. I think I am going to start having her name my characters, too.
Teach the difference between right and wrong
Just because you are hanging with your prodigy, doesn't mean you have to stay away from the Death Knight starting quests. Nor do you have to avoid activities that involve killing cute fuzzy creatures (though I do try to use the word "defeat" instead of "kill"). Go ahead and play a villain and complete questionably immoral quests, just tell her what you are doing is wrong and only make-believe. Which leads us to...
Teach the difference between reality and fantasy
Contrary to what the alarmist thought-police of previous decades predicted, my generation did not grow up thinking that falls off of cliffs and explosions were survivable. We knew the difference between reality and fantasy. Make no mistake: this is a very valuable lesson. But I don't need to tell casual WoW players this. We play for fun and stress release, not to hone our homicidal skills. In WoW, death is not permanent. Our pets come back, the mobs we kill respawn and we are resurrected. We don't have Gnomes and Tauren and we can't ride around on dragons -- Azeroth is a make-believe playland. She probably already has a clear idea what is real and what is pretend, but playing fantasy games together will actually strengthen this.
Let her play alone
Playing alone allows her to exercise her imagination and gives her a healthy amount of control. Let her play on a level 30+ druid (shapechanging!) or a character with a flying mount and allow her minimally supervised free play. You might want to bank your gear in case of mishaps.
Play one character together
Just like the couple who overcomes adversity to play together or these cats, the two of you will probably have a great time controlling the same character together. The Spawn uses the keyboard and I use the mouse. We have an absolute blast defeating mobs and questing. Pro tip: Send your character bags and some gold when you are not playing together. Not being able to afford training and the run to the nearest mailbox is not stuff that is likely to hold her attention.
Be open to what is fun to her
Just like twigs, rocks and bugs can be endlessly distracting when taking walks with your preschooler, the things she finds entertaining in WoW are going to be unexpected and not always fun for you. The Spawn actually likes to sit down in between battles and refill mana. She worries that we'll not have enough water and makes sure that all trips to town involve restocking. I know. I don't get it either, but whatever floats her boat. Pro tip: Bank the starter outfits and all distinct, visible armor collected afterward for dress up sessions.
Keep it positive
Sometimes it's hard not to get frustrated due to running off of cliffs and avoidable deaths, but this isn't about progressing a character, it is about together time. This applies to couples playing together, too. Save any leveling aspirations for your non parenting playtime. Keep it happy and nurturing and you'll both have a better time.
Journal your time together
This actually surprised me during my "research". The Spawn enjoys looking at screenshots of her characters almost as much as she does the pictures of our recent Zoo visit. You can create a journal using a WoW.com profile, add to your blog or just keep a folder of screenshots to look through periodically. Playing together or reminiscing about playing together -- it's all good.
Of course, you should also be making sure your child stays healthy and active. All parents know this. But adding WoW to your preschooler's indoor activities has benefits for both you and her. Sharing hobbies with your children has always been considered good parenting. The Spawn thinks yarn is pretty cool, but she's having a bit more fun with Itchee. And that's okay with me.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, WoW, Casually






Reader Comments (Page 3 of 6)
t0ddd Jul 15th 2009 12:16AM
Did you let your two year old write this comment?
Burcemage Jul 14th 2009 10:44PM
That not the issue at all Wow didnt ruined anything for me at all, but Be realistic here when saying sharing a hobby as wow, you must be dumber then i thought if you think that realy.
So a person have a hobby Drinking Beer, watching Porn , Shooting Guns, Etc does that mean the child should start doing that so they can grow a bond with there parents, Same thing bro, your just not smart enough too realize it. But one day you might it's call growing up and being mature. You have too realize that not all Hobby should be shared with a child and wow is not one of them. But i wont convice you because wow is prob your bible.
Have fun with that bro
danawhitaker Jul 14th 2009 11:00PM
When you're telling someone they're not smart enough to understand something, you might want to try checking your grammar and spelling before posting - bro.
Seriously though, I think it's very clear you had some serious issues with the game and are trying to go overboard the opposite direction. I'm the mother of a three year old girl. I recently started letting her use the PBS Kids and Nick Jr. websites on my laptop while I do my dailies in WoW. It's a good way for me to get something done in-game while between household chores and our other activities, and it's important for her to know how to use a computer. Sorry, but it is. Realistically, any kid going into preschool and kindergarten in the near future needs some computer skills. And those skills can aid in learning other things - like reading. I've never thought about letting her mess around on a character of her own on my account, but I'm going to think about it more closely as something we could do together. There is a *huge* difference between the hobbies you mentioned - porn and drinking beer - and World of Warcraft. If you cannot see that, you are extremely narrow-minded or the game was a true vice or addiction for you at some point.
If she shows interest some day, down the line (I'd be absolutely floored if she didn't since she is the by-product of two avid computer users/builders/gamers) I will eventually set her up with her own account and let her be part of my guild so we can keep an eye on her in the game. I'm not talking about 3-4 years from now, but more in the junior high realm. I'd love nothing more than to have an interest I can truly share with her on a meaningful level. I think that's something that's rare for a lot of kids and their parents. Bonding together over something like WoW would be better than not bonding at all.
Noscy Jul 14th 2009 11:05PM
Dumb comparison in my opinion, dabbling in wow with your child does not draw a comparison to alcoholism, porn etc...
Drinking and its associated behavior, has a terrible effect on their children... which can have either a negative or positive effect. It's not much fun to see a drunken parent slurred speech, rambling, pissing themselves, increased level of violence... what have you. Children are often scarred by this, me being one of them hence I don't drink!
Porn is wrong, and anyone in possession of a gun should destroy it...
Don't proclaim that these behaviors draw any comparison to this video game, which is what your doing. Also no one is implying that this is the only activity... again wrong and presumptuous.
Angrycelt Jul 15th 2009 1:16PM
Sorry, but WoW does not equal "computer skills". It may familiarize kids with a keyboard and mouse, but that's not all they're going to need in life.
As for this person's (albeit poorly worded) comparisons of WoW to other vices, are you going to honestly say that *some* people don't take this way too seriously? I know two former co-workers who destroyed their marriages; one with Everquest, the other with WoW. I have guildies that are out of work and play this game for 18 hours a day... and if they tried to pass off their lvl 80s as "computer proficient" on a resume, I'd laugh my ass of at them.
I just think that WoW, no matter how cautious you are, is too random of an environment for anyone who's trying to monitor what their kids see, or at least gently introduce them into online social activity.
Hang out in trade chat for 10 minutes and tell me you want your kid exposed to half of the things that'll be said. Turn up your Vent while raiding and when the profanity starts flying, see if you really want your preschooler talking like a raid leader whose 25-man run just wiped when someone pulled aggro off of the tank.
If you're careful about it, great. If you're sitting their with your kid in your lap teaching them what an "icon" is, or how the game is networked and that you're playing with two guys from Australia and an off-duty soldier in Korea, that's cool. Heck, have them learn their ABCs by typing out what you tell them to in guild chat. But don't just play the game with your kid in the room and call it bonding time.
(this is coming from the husband of a teacher who has to deal with the obnoxious, disrespectful, foul-mouthed hellions with zero attention span from nothing but video games, TV and inattentive parents... and who, yes, has kids who talk to family on Skype, have their own heavily-nerfed computer, and know that when they're awake, mommy and daddy turn off the game and play with them)
secprincess627 Jul 14th 2009 11:01PM
My daughter is 7 now, and has been "playing" wow for about 2 years now. Both my husband and I have an account, so no matter who is home with the kiddo, we can be online with her too and monitor what she is doing. It first started off as something she can do while i clean, she would just run around town to town, buying all the pets and water she could for her warrior (!). Installed Carbonite addon, which helped TREMENDOUSLY when she wanted to figure out what to do for quests. She can now read 90-95% of all the quest text and has gotten chars to lvl 17, 9, and 7 (she is an altoholic too, and loves the DKs, I think mainly cuz she knows they start at a higher lvl.
I agree with all that was in the article. I would like to add that I keep my daughter in the guild that I am in with a note to never promote her chars (she is too clicky happy). With the younger kids, make sure you keep an extra eye out, they will do things like follow people around, invite random people to groups, etc.... things that make any parent cringe. I make sure my kiddo only talks in "green words" (guild chat), and if she wants to invite people to group, it is just people in the guild (we are all really close, almost like family, so if there are random things like that happen, we know its just each others kiddos).
I would recommend to explain safe playing online to kids that may understand, just dont make it like its gonna freak them out. Just talk about it just like you do any other scary situation, like having a stranger come up to them, etc.
BTW-- My daughter knows how to operate a computer better than both sets of her grandparents... go figure :)
burcemage Jul 14th 2009 11:07PM
I think teaching a kid to use a PC is impotent to a certain point, there are great website as you mentioned, But playing wow is not one of them that should be used to teach your kid how to use one. The real Reason behind this it give you all a excuse to play the game by saying im not neglecting my kid really.
But see it as you may, i see it my way and this is from a Gamer that used to play this to a hardcore level.
Super Guest Man 9000 Jul 14th 2009 11:13PM
Trolls trolling people that play trolls
KilgoreTrout XL Jul 15th 2009 10:03AM
Hey Burcemage,
Perhaps, in between your bouts of hockey, watching porn, and drinking beer, you can ask your child for some spelling and grammar tips.
Whim Jul 14th 2009 11:13PM
Heh.. Captain Obvious rules!
Another pleasant advantage of playing MMOs for the young uns are that they develop good 3D spatial awareness. My little girl learnt left/right during a special winter event years ago on CoH, we were flying around our superhero and she would look out for the presents saying "Go left/right" to get them.
Now as a 5 year old, she can open in-game maps and find her way around to where ever she wants to go. She has her own apartment in Darnassus (one of the rooms with a bed). Recently, she opened a real map and showed me the roads that she'd take to get to a place she wanted to go.
As Robin stated in the article, the little ones do play the game on their terms. We play hide and seek, have races, look for animals (especially the sickly dears and help and kill er.. cure them, I mean). Indeed, I lvled 2 druids to 30+ so that we can race/swim together.
Super Guest Man 9000 Jul 14th 2009 11:17PM
While its going to be a long time before I have spawn of my own I am trying to get my mother to play. Finally all the kids are out of the house and she has alot more free time. Me and my sister play and though shes never been much for video games, she has a surprising grasp on computers that most people her age lack. I think she could have some fun with it but I'm not sure how i get her hooked on it. I'm thinking the "Oh you could spend more time with your kids" angle
Burcemage Jul 14th 2009 11:18PM
Your child would not be playing that game on there own or is it that your imposed that hobby upon them, If i remember correctly wow was not needed to grow up smart, to learn from Left and Right. The only reason is that you need a Excuse too accept you play time on wow saying yes it ok because my 2 year old Daughter or Son plays with me. In fact you don't actually realize that the reason that they remotely show interest is too get your attention.
So what are you talking about i could be playing in Dog Shit and my son would come next too me and play with it thinking it's the new cool thing.
Guernia Jul 14th 2009 11:37PM
If i remember correctly wow was not needed to grow up smart
You make that painfully obvious.
So let me get this straight. You're against people introducing their kids to WoW because you have a problem with it (and yet, you continue to hang out on WoW sites and post comments... little conflicted are we?) so therefore everyone must be addicts, and we're all trying to get out kids addicted in order to carry on our addiction.
That's not a stretch of logic at ALL /sarcasm.
Go troll somewhere else, troll.
Shed Jul 15th 2009 8:15AM
Burcemage, you seem to have missed the entire point of this article. Its about -casual- players and how they can spend even more time with their kids. Often casual players already spend a very minimal time on the game, and they want to include their child in even more of their activities. So instead of sending their kid off to go play blocks or watch TV, they're wanting to spend even more time with their child and actually do something productive.
Obviously from how you're preaching, you have some guilty feelings from abandoning your kids to play video games, or your mother did it to you. Just because you've had bad experiences, doesn't mean that everyone else is as reckless.
cassandri Jul 14th 2009 11:19PM
WoW may be pretty new but when I was a kid (maybe 8?) my dad and I would play Tetris. And I was better at it than him. Not only was it a game we played together (well watched eachother play) my ability to ace tetris was something my dad admired and was proud of.
I still love games. Boardgames, casual games, wow, wii games you name it.
Definately play with your children. I think Robin has the right idea about a journal of screencaptures. Reliving the experience is fodder for many many conversations away from the computer screen. And it's an experience that only you and your child shared. That's meaningful.
In game I have come across some absolutely wonderful teenagers. I think parents forget that in World of Warcraft you are not judged on your clothes or your looks, only on your skill and your attitude towards other players.
Burcemage Jul 14th 2009 11:22PM
Are we talking about a 2 year old or 8 year old, there a big Diffrence between Tetris and MMO game.
Tetris and wow are not the same.
KilgoreTrout XL Jul 15th 2009 10:11AM
That's a difficult question to answer- you write at a pre-school level so I really have no idea what you're talking about. Your child must get terribly confused when you email him or leave him notes.
From what I can gather from your comments on this article, you play tetris in nudie bookstores while drinking beer through a hockey mask you're wearing.
That's cool, man, but I think you should just go back to playing Warcraft, personally.
Tyler Jul 14th 2009 11:26PM
I already got my kid farming gold for me.
Toasted Jul 14th 2009 11:30PM
My 5yo has a level 13 hunter that he's leveled himself - he loves the idea of having a pet with him to help him out and the assistance it gives is really great... I definitely suggest young kids play a hunter, it's an easy play style for them to conceptualise and a thrill when they get their pet.
The other suggestion I would make is to give them a character on a PVE server... my son has two characters now, one on PVE, one on PVP (server where I have most of my characters on)... he get's a bit scared when there is a raid in his area and the other faction comes in and takes him out, PVE just keeps that situation a lot simpler.
Even though I have quest helper on, I find he doesn't do quests all that much - he tends to find an area he's comfortable with and will grind on a set of creatures for ages (his bags are full of clam meat at the moment, lol). He also spends a lot of time exploring cities and generally just walking around looking at stuff... all that but still gets really excited about going up a level to the point where he's watching the xp bar creep up almost like watching a clock ticking away the time - even though he takes a very slow path to reach that next level.
There were a few discussions early on about wrong and right / good and bad of course, but now he's pretty comfortable with it all - still gets scared on occasions, but thinks it's a fantastic game and even dreams about WoW in his sleep.
Gaurth Jul 15th 2009 1:47PM
On Eldre'Thalas we have a warlock that PUGs raids all the time, shes ten years old, legit. she uses vent, knows the fights, has good dps and mostly 25-man gear, and from what i gather the character is entirely hers. it was a pretty jawdropping moment for me when i heard her voice on vent but as it is shes become something of a celebrity on our server's PUG circuit.
geez... back in my day ten year olds were lucky to know what a start button is.