WoW, Casually: Playing with your preschooler

In the comments for Drama Mamas, Orkchop asked about tips for playing WoW with his 3 year old daughter. Since, as he put it, this is more of a Mama question than a drama question and I also have a 3 year old daughter, I thought I'd create a guide for playing WoW with preschoolers. Parents have limited playtime due to their family priorities -- not necessarily because they don't want to play as much as the more hardcore players. So mixing parental duties and leisure time is efficient as well as rewarding.
The question some of you may ask is, "Should children that young play video games?" And the answer is not just "yes", but "Yes!" At the beginning of this year, I spent some time working with getting my daughter comfortable with the computer, concentrating on mouse manipulation and keyboard movement while playing many of the free preschool-age video games out there. Within a week, she was reading words like "Play" and "Skip" and navigating through Nick Jr.'s site to her favorite radio station, which she listens to while playing with her toys. The freely available games on sites like PBS Kids have really improved many of her developmental skill sets and her computer skills are now better than most of her grandparents'. Of course, now I'm having to closely monitor her computing time, lest I be subjected to fart videos from YouTube... again.
But don't just take my word for it. Sesame Workshop highly recommends that children play video games for:
healthy behaviors, traditional skills like reading and math, and 21st-century strengths such as critical thinking, global learning, and programming design.
Yeah, those are the same people who educated most of us with Sesame Street. They are actively trying to get government and industry support for digital learning tools, while trying to counteract the negative stereotypes about video games.
I'm on record for thinking parents should play WoW with their older children. Preschoolers are different from Grade School age children, however, in that they cannot fully read, have different playstyles and have varying developmental needs. After much research and practice, I offer the following tips for incorporating WoW and other MMOs into your parental nurturing time. Note: I'll be using the pronoun "she" throughout this guide, but of course the same applies to boys, too.
Don't get a separate account She's not really ready to progress a character by herself or alongside yours as of yet. That kind of structured play is not going to interest her and will only frustrate you. The time will come when you will be able to play your characters together, but that time is not now.
Character creation is fun
The Spawn loves to play dress up and creating characters is one of her favorite MMO related things, as well. The character creation in WoW is ok, but it really isn't as good as say, City of Heroes/Villains. You can let her play alone, making throwaway characters, for long periods of time. When it's time to create a character to play together, guide her in a direction that will make it fun for you, too. But let her pick the look herself. The Spawn wanted to play a character "with arrows", but was unwilling to compromise on the race -- it was Gnome or nothing. Thus, Itchee the Warlock (above) was born. Her first CoV Villain, pictured right, is completely her creation and named Moonbandage. I think I am going to start having her name my characters, too.
Teach the difference between right and wrong
Just because you are hanging with your prodigy, doesn't mean you have to stay away from the Death Knight starting quests. Nor do you have to avoid activities that involve killing cute fuzzy creatures (though I do try to use the word "defeat" instead of "kill"). Go ahead and play a villain and complete questionably immoral quests, just tell her what you are doing is wrong and only make-believe. Which leads us to...
Teach the difference between reality and fantasy
Contrary to what the alarmist thought-police of previous decades predicted, my generation did not grow up thinking that falls off of cliffs and explosions were survivable. We knew the difference between reality and fantasy. Make no mistake: this is a very valuable lesson. But I don't need to tell casual WoW players this. We play for fun and stress release, not to hone our homicidal skills. In WoW, death is not permanent. Our pets come back, the mobs we kill respawn and we are resurrected. We don't have Gnomes and Tauren and we can't ride around on dragons -- Azeroth is a make-believe playland. She probably already has a clear idea what is real and what is pretend, but playing fantasy games together will actually strengthen this.
Let her play alone
Playing alone allows her to exercise her imagination and gives her a healthy amount of control. Let her play on a level 30+ druid (shapechanging!) or a character with a flying mount and allow her minimally supervised free play. You might want to bank your gear in case of mishaps.
Play one character together
Just like the couple who overcomes adversity to play together or these cats, the two of you will probably have a great time controlling the same character together. The Spawn uses the keyboard and I use the mouse. We have an absolute blast defeating mobs and questing. Pro tip: Send your character bags and some gold when you are not playing together. Not being able to afford training and the run to the nearest mailbox is not stuff that is likely to hold her attention.
Be open to what is fun to her
Just like twigs, rocks and bugs can be endlessly distracting when taking walks with your preschooler, the things she finds entertaining in WoW are going to be unexpected and not always fun for you. The Spawn actually likes to sit down in between battles and refill mana. She worries that we'll not have enough water and makes sure that all trips to town involve restocking. I know. I don't get it either, but whatever floats her boat. Pro tip: Bank the starter outfits and all distinct, visible armor collected afterward for dress up sessions.
Keep it positive
Sometimes it's hard not to get frustrated due to running off of cliffs and avoidable deaths, but this isn't about progressing a character, it is about together time. This applies to couples playing together, too. Save any leveling aspirations for your non parenting playtime. Keep it happy and nurturing and you'll both have a better time.
Journal your time together
This actually surprised me during my "research". The Spawn enjoys looking at screenshots of her characters almost as much as she does the pictures of our recent Zoo visit. You can create a journal using a WoW.com profile, add to your blog or just keep a folder of screenshots to look through periodically. Playing together or reminiscing about playing together -- it's all good.
Of course, you should also be making sure your child stays healthy and active. All parents know this. But adding WoW to your preschooler's indoor activities has benefits for both you and her. Sharing hobbies with your children has always been considered good parenting. The Spawn thinks yarn is pretty cool, but she's having a bit more fun with Itchee. And that's okay with me.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, WoW, Casually






Reader Comments (Page 5 of 6)
Branthan Jul 15th 2009 8:33AM
I taught my 4 year old daughter how to fish in WOW. I was not very suprised that she gets bored too. Must run in the family or perhaps it is actually that boring.
Bradius Jul 15th 2009 8:53AM
I taught my 5year old son to fish in wow.
I was getting fed up of trying to catch the dark herring for my salty achievment,so I told him if he caught it I would buy him a game for the Wii.
He had better luck than me and now he has a new copy of batman lego for the Wii.
Were all happy :)
brent Jul 15th 2009 10:15AM
oh my goodness,
i have a 3 year old myself and that kid could never sit still in a chair long enough to play any of those games. He's full throttle all the time and without an attention span whatsoever. There is no way that he'd ever want to sit at a desk and play a videogame. i think this has to be different for every child but i dont see any way possible right now that i could share any computer time with him. he'd rather go outside and run laps around the yard while i toss a ball with him.
Desquil Jul 15th 2009 10:36AM
I have a 7 yr old that has been playing since he was 5.
It all started when I returned to my computer one evening and found myself dead in Stranglethorn. I know I camped out in UC. Turns out my son, 5 at the time, got out of bed and came to find me. Instead he found my computer left at the character selection screen and decided to take him for a ride. I will say I was kind of impressed he managed to get to stv.
Now he has a druid on my account. I have changed his chat window to include only guild (bank alt guild with some friends kids in it) and a channel specifically for him. When he's playing at the same time as mom this is the channel they use to chat.
Between wanting to chat with mom, who is sitting 5ft away, and wanting to do quests on his own he was extremely motivated to learn to read early. He LOVES sending Mom gifts in the mail. Now at 7 his reading is superb and he is pretty impressive on the computer.
Jere Hunter Jul 15th 2009 10:50AM
Got a girl in kindergarten and she like to play wow, but her favorite is Spore, she loves makeing the little beasties and running them around and evolving them :) (she plays it better than I do) she quits at planet creation cause she loves the earlier parts so she will just start it over
GuyGascoigne Jul 15th 2009 11:03AM
Nice write up. I still remember a friends 8 year old playing hide and seek in the game with another friends kid. They were having a ton of fun, just playing a game within a game. Fascinating to watch.
BitterCupOJoe Jul 15th 2009 11:15AM
In my opinion, you should absolutely not be letting a child under the age of 3 (possibly 5) play videogames. There's some credible research (http://www.johnson.cornell.edu/faculty/profiles/waldman/autpaper.html) that television viewing in young children is a component in the development of autism, and the trigger factors (bright images, etc.) are just as prevalent in videogames. If you want to play with your kids, take them outside and do something or at least grab some coloring books or simple puzzles. Even if it's just overcautious, in the long run they're going to be no worse off and are likely to be better off.
Ian R. (Orkchop) Jul 15th 2009 2:04PM
Thank you for sighting a source, having a coherent, calm argument and, even though you have a differing opinion, not trolling.
Sella Jul 15th 2009 11:27AM
I'm 35 weeks pregnant, and my husband and I are already joking about having our daughter level our alts. Who knew it could start when she's as young as three...Well, maybe not so much. But still, you've written a great guide to playing WoW (or the next big MMO) with my daughter. I look forward to it.
Sorcefire Jul 15th 2009 11:32AM
Speaking as someone who grew up in the video game era and have parents for whom computers are still something alien, I have to say that teaching kids about the use of computers while building their social, cognitive, and analytical skills is an investment in their future.
There is absolutely nothing wrong, immoral, or unethical about a parent spending time with their children, especially when the time is a mix of fun and education. MMOs seem, at least to me, to be a mix of all the things adults crave in our busy lives (social connections, sense of accomplishment, exploration, and education), so why would we shield our children from the same things?
Games like WoW do require parents to be very mindful of what their child experiences since the game has players from almost all age ranges, social backgrounds, financial strata, and nationalities. On one hand those aspects are the biggest opportunities for children to learn about the world and on the other it can introduce them to things parents may find objectionable. Trade chat is a good example of how the stupidity of the human race transcends race, creed, and color.
Nuu Jul 15th 2009 11:47AM
I find it interesting to see how many people have some aversion to children playing games or watching tv. I know several children and adults who have been doing both since they were quite small (6 months in some cases), and NONE of them have or had any problems because of it, i.e.: Autism, ADD, ADHD. I also know a few children whose parents have never let them watch tv or play video games, and they DO have Autism, ADD, and/or ADHD.
People need to get off their high horses and realise that just because they feel strongly about something doesn't mean everyone else is going to feel the same way.
I know a 2.5-year-old who knows colours, shapes, some letters, and can count to 10, and she learned it all with the help of her parents, Sesame Street and Mickey Mouse, and a few games. She has a very good attention span for her age. And her parents have their tv on with educational programming several hours during the day.
How 'bout THEM apples?
BitterCupOJoe Jul 15th 2009 5:09PM
The singular of "data" is "datum," not "anecdote." There is solid research that early TV watching (and likely videogame playing) can be a factor in autism in children. Your anecdotes about friends that have children who play videogames and don't have autism and other friends that have children who don't play videogames and do have autism are not useful, at all, in evaluating overall risk. It's like saying, "Well, I knew this guy that smoked for 30 years and never got cancer!" Great for him; that means he's one of the (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lung_cancer) 83.8% of smokers that don't develop lung cancer from smoking. However, given that 98.7% of male non-smokers will never develop lung cancer, it means he's lucky. He increased his risk by 13 times(!) by smoking and simply got lucky.
So you know people that endanger their child's development in a particular way and have gotten lucky. Good for them. You know other people that don't and have been unfortunate enough to have something else cause autism in their children. Bad luck there. But neither of these cases is useful in any meaningful way because they're just anecdotes, not data in a statistical model.
Nuu Jul 15th 2009 10:14PM
"BitterCupOJoe", your name fits you well. I wasn't saying anything remotely connected to the crap you spewed. If a kid's going to develop Autism, they will, whether they watch tv and play video games or not. The studies you believe to be "truth" and what you will live your life by are paid for by the people who want to see the "statistics" you claim to be what everyone else should live by.
Call my experiences (and many other people's) what you want, but a few scientists wanting "data in statistical models" will bring about whatever results they're trying to achieve; therefore, their results are useless.
BitterCupOJoe Jul 16th 2009 9:55AM
"If a kid's going to develop Autism, they will, whether they watch tv and play video games or not" is as ridiculous a statement as "if someone is going to develop lung cancer they will, regardless of whether they smoke and inhale asbestos or not." Only an idiot would say the latter with the evidence we have now, and we're beginning to have enough evidence to say the same about the former. There's a reason studies like the one I linked above are peer-reviewed in magazines, and it's precisely to make sure they're well run and not intentionally tilted toward one side of the debate or the other.
noodwow Jul 15th 2009 12:11PM
Will of Warcraft ftw! Only 4 years old and already he's pwning with his 27 hunter "Looper" and his pet cats "Pizza" and "Newspaper"! In our guild, we have a special rank for him called "Mascot".
www.youtube.com/noodwow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO58R1w-xfw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwwD-sxHyIU
styopa Jul 15th 2009 12:19PM
"Within a week, she was reading words like "Play" and "Skip" and navigating through Nick Jr.'s site to her favorite radio station"
....and then you recommend letting them play alone?
AHAHAHAHAH.
Wait until your just-learning-to-read precious little snowflake turns her big blues up at you and asks innocently "daddy, what's 'Asian Anal Hardcore'?"
All I can say is that you better have Child Control or some pretty serious whitelist tools in place.
Dredlocks Jul 15th 2009 12:28PM
Two tips for helping the youngsters:
1. QuestHelper addon
Get an addon like QuestHelper to graphically show where the quest objectives are. (Heck, I use it myself).
2. Game Pad
For the younger ones, you can hookup a PC game pad and map a handful of keys to it. As they progress, they will start using the mouse and keyboard. There's a great utility called XPadder that helps with setting up the PC game pad.
My 7 year old has been playing WoW for the last 6 months. He has his own account and we've been having a blast leveling up his characters.
At first his mother was a bit reserved, but is now a big supporter. (Which is saying a lot for someone who doesn't play.) She sees my son and I having a great time together, and has even confessed to being a bit jealous. Finding a hobby we can do together has been priceless.
Lately he's been leveling a Death Knight, much to my druidic chagrin. I was watching him playing Warsong Gultch, effectively handing out a beating to my druid brethren, when I had the thought: I wonder how many 7 year old Death Knights have put the smack-down on me in BGs?
Avellea Jul 15th 2009 12:57PM
Thanks for the post I no longer feel like people will see me as a bad parent for letting my 9 year old play WoW I started letting him play with me, it didn’t as long as I wanted before he wanted to do it all on his own (give or take a multitude of questions). He created an Undead warlock who he named Argg. And he too is constantly concerned about mana. If he is not over 95% mana he feels the need to sit down so he doesn’t run out. I sit next to him and watch him on his character, and when I raid he sits and watches me.
Spazmoose Jul 15th 2009 3:55PM
I have thought about this a little bit, as I would like to have kids in the next coming years. I have decided that having a child play WoW under supervision could be a very educational and enriching experience. However, like many educational endeavors, it would be wise to have a set of ground rules and goals for when they are playing.
Here are some things that you may be able to help teach your children by having them play WoW with you:
1. Reading and Reading Comprehension
2. Navigation and Map reading
3. Social interaction
4. Manners (greeting people when they approach you like the NPCs do).
5. Problem solving skills
6. Basic math
7. Financial management
8. Computer usage
9. Time management
10. Spatial awareness
11. Different languages
These are just a few of the things they may be able to learn by playing WoW, but there are probably many more things that I have missed (or purposely left out, because you don't necessarily want them to learn those things).
My point is that WoW can be used as a learning tool if properly thought out, and executed.
xaospro Jul 15th 2009 4:58PM
I am still hardcore about making WOW a 17+ ONLY game! 13 the lowest.
No reason for an 8yr old to be running around colecting ears or chopping off heads. What the hell is happening?
Why cant blizz stop caring more about money than anything else? DAMN!