Drama Mamas: Of scrubs and terribads
by Lisa Poisso 
Jul 24th 2009 at 11:00AM
Sometimes, there simply are no words that do justice to our friends' lack of play skills. You know the people I'm talking about. We say, "He's a good guy, but ..." or "She's a real sweetie, for someone who ..." Argh! It's the last halves of those sentences that wipe the raid group every time.
So what's a player to do when his friends turn out to be scrubs, terribads, n00bs or any other variety of out-of-tune toon? Sometimes there's hope – but we'll be honest, sometimes things are beyond repair. Either way, you're going to have to decide: can you fix it, or can you grin and bear it?
Dear Drama Mamas: A friend and I have been organizing some PuG Ulduar-10s the past few weeks with about five other regulars, while filling the rest of the slots with friends of friends and vetted PuGs. After a healer dropped out, a Hunter offered to bring in his Priest GF. My friend (who was leading the raid at the time) said that if the GF sucked, it would be on the Hunter's shoulders. The Hunter agreed, and we brought the Priest. So this Priest ended up doing around 1k HPS, died early in every attempt, and did nothing but spam Flash Heal. On Mimiron. We wiped for an hour and then finally eaked out a win. I guess we did kill the boss in the end, but it was wasted time and repair bills. What's the best strategy for discussing this delicate issue with a PuG friend (someone that you may not know very well but don't want to insult)? Thanks, Unhappy Pally
Drama Mama Lisa: "Package deals" have been part of raiding since the early days of gaming – and like that moment when all eyes are upon you as you open the box from Aunt Brunhilda at Christmas, you have to decide how you're going to react when you see the hideous plaid pants inside.
What do you want out of this particular PuG, Unhappy? If your true wish is to build the strongest group possible, you may have to do it without this Priest. To be that uber-chic, you'll have to put the plaid pants back on the shelf. Thank the Hunter for suggesting his girlfriend, and acknowledge that her subbing in allowed the group to make it through Mimiron. Mention how cool it'll be when her numbers catch up with the numbers of the regular healers – and that you're looking forward to seeing her again when that happens.
You could also handle this part objectively. Let her return and raid again, but implement Failbot to monitor raid performance. (Just be prepared to eliminate anyone else who's not up to snuff, too -- present company included.)
If keeping Aunt Brunhilda happy is more important than being fashionable 24/7, you need to at least wear the stupid pants when she's around. This would be a great moment to offer to play with both the Hunter and his girlfriend. Maybe you can help work through some problems and help her gear up, if that's her weakness. Or you may need to wear the pants all the time – the Priest may get better with practice, or she might turn out to be so much fun to have around that you'd rather compensate than lose her.
Your pants. Your aunt. Your call.
Drama Mama Robin: I love plaid pants! Oh no, I'm that crazy aunt. Anyway ...
The Priestess must know how bad she is. Does she care? Some people have the "It's just a game; I don't want to try hard," or "They should be happy they have a healer" attitude and will never improve. These players are not worth either your time or a confrontation. If she really wants to be better at Priesting, however, she could turn out to be a valuable PuG asset, with help and practice. But how can you tell if she cares, without coming off as condescending?
It's tricky, but chatting with her directly about WoW in general will probably work. Try things like "I think it's awesome that you play WoW with your boyfriend; I wish I could get my S.O. to do that," and "Is the Priest your favorite class? Mine is (insert class here)." If she seems enthusiastic about playing, ask her if she follows any Priest or healing blogs. If she doesn't but seems interested, refer her to a skilled Priest friend that you know to get info from. Also suggest blogs such as our Spiritual Guidance column or World of Matticus. If she mentions anything like "I know I suck," don't agree with her -- but do use it as an opening to steer her toward resources and practice.
If she seems to play only to be with her boyfriend and otherwise doesn't like the game, her class or instances -- just drop it and go back to Lisa's "fashionable" solution. Lisa's extremely diplomatic advice to thank the Hunter and that the Priestess will be welcome back after more practice is a great way to handle it.
Good luck and good PuGging!
Dear Drama Mamas: I've only been in my guild for about a month. They needed ranged DPS, and being a Hunter, I was available. However, another new member in the guild, a Warrior, is quite frankly an idiot. He's a good guy and his heart is in the right place, but he has an incredibly hard time getting the encounters right. We explain the encounters to him multiple times, yet he refuses to do what is needed and treats every boss as if it were a tank-and-spank. I can't stand running with him, but I don't know what to do. Do I talk to my GM about him, or do I talk to him directly? Sincerely, Out of PatienceDrama Mama Robin: Talking to him directly will only cause more drama -- and your raid leader and GM already know he's an issue. If you really feel you need to express your feelings about him, then do it privately to the guild or raid leader. I'd stay away from issuing ultimatums and try not to repeat yourself, though that is sometimes hard when something is really bothering you. Just tell him/her/them how you feel and ask advice as to how you can help.
In the meantime, work on your relationship with your class officer and on your gear and skills. In even the best of us, there is always room for improvement -- and your opinion will be more valuable, the more you earn the respect of your peers.
Hmmm ... I'm really telling you to talk to your leadership and then be patient, but you're out of patience. Maybe you can challenge him to a rap battle in Vent? I hear that's a popular thing among you young people these days. Or you could hold a dueling competition -- best 4 out of 7? Take it to the Gurubashi Arena? Some friendly aggression release may help you bide the time until your leaders either set him straight or send him on his way.
Drama Mama Lisa: Drama Mama Robin nailed it with her very first sentence: surely your guild or raid leaders are already aware of this situation, yes? The only time I might bring up the matter with a leader is if I weren't absolutely, positively certain that they were aware how much agony and grief this guy is causing the rest of the group. Even then, keep it brief; they've probably already got ulcers over this, trust me.
If you think you're up for helping him, try running some groups with him (but casually, under the radar – not as part of an outright skills improvement program) and helping him get a little more experience under his belt. If you really need to vent your frustration, try someone completely outside the game – you'll find this type of situation is fairly easily explained and received quite sympathetically by non-players. Just don't add any fuel to the fire. You want the guy to have a shot at making or breaking it all on his own. He will – and so will you!
Remember, your mama wouldn't want to see your name on any drama. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Tips, Tricks, How-tos, WoW Social Conventions, Virtual selves, Features, Humor, Drama Mamas
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
vortx Jul 24th 2009 11:08AM
That's enough blog titles using the "Of Mice and Men" format, don't you think?
Robert M Jul 24th 2009 11:13AM
Oh ya, because referencing the work of Nobel laureates is so terribad
/rolls eyes
Mordockk Jul 24th 2009 11:49AM
constantly referencing noble laureates...especially puttin a twist on the same quote over n over again doesn't make you a leet writer. its def one of the most over-used wordplay tho
Robin Torres Jul 24th 2009 11:56AM
Of cabbages and kings
impurezero Jul 24th 2009 12:35PM
Of Rolls and DKP.
Of Rogues and Shamans.
Of Raids and Gearchecks.
Of Lag and Wintergrasp.
Of Dramas and Mamas.
Look! I'm a literature buff because I made a cliche easy pun!
Oh, but let's not forget the best one yet:
Of Slice and Rend.
OP is right. He never implied that referencing classic literature was a bad thing. Making the exact same referenc week after week would definitely get stale, though.
Fnord Jul 24th 2009 1:05PM
Terribad and mediocre writers do become Nobel laureates alarmingly often, Robert. Think of the terribad Jelinek & Fo, and the mediocre Steinbeck & Hesse. Maybe we could raise our horizons with "As I Lay Blogging" or "A Blog for Mr. [name]"
BettyZamann Jul 24th 2009 1:06PM
hooray for snow clones! the lifeblood of the internets!
vazhkatsi Jul 24th 2009 2:39PM
of why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings
caloo calay oh happy day
for cabbages and kings!
might be an alice reference, seeing as Charles Lutwidge Dodgson came before Of mice and men.
Rob Jul 24th 2009 3:30PM
Are all quotes of the format "of X and Y' automatically doomed to mediocrity because of the mimicry, casual or causal of "Of Mice and Men"? I disagree, this post had only slight allegory to the famous book.
Ok, I am betting 99% of readers either never read the book or forgot it. TL:DR, a guy with some mental defect, retardation or otherwise, rapes a girl, admittedly unintentionally. As the mob gets closer his best friend shoots him in the back as a mercy killing. So...post book unless you are implying that the less than stellar players should all be shot as a mercy killing, which I dont think the authors or the question posers intended.
eric_barbaric Jul 24th 2009 3:39PM
I do find the title a bit contrived. If the title used alliteration, such as, "Of scrubs and screw-ups" or used the same amount of syllables like, "Of scrubs and noobs", then it could maybe pass for clever. As it is, it's a bit mediocre at best.
Also, terribads? Really?! Maybe I'm just to old, but to me bad is better than terrible. So in my mind terribad would fall somewhere between. The English language gets butchered enough as it is, do the writers of this site really need to help it along?
All of that aside, I do find the advice given in the column good advice. Try to solve issues with as little strife as possible, and you're bound to be remembered for that. Act like some diva, and you'll be doubly remembered for that.
Robert M Jul 24th 2009 3:51PM
@Rob,
LMAO, I'd be all for mercy killings (at least server side) of terrible players.
impurezero Jul 24th 2009 4:08PM
Rob,
You're absolutely right. This may not even be a Mice and Men reference. But the point still stands that there should only be so many articles in a row using the old "of X and Y" formula regardless of the intended reference.
God I love the comments of Drama Mamas! Do you guys put something in the water before you post these things?
Who wants to fight?!?!?!
Robert M Jul 24th 2009 11:08AM
dont forget plusheal.com for healing advice!
Karilyn Jul 24th 2009 11:09AM
A relatively new feature on WoWInsider that details how to deal with drama.
yokumgang Jul 24th 2009 11:12AM
Who is this kid?
Usteenk Jul 24th 2009 11:15AM
This is a GREAT ARTICLE.
Outside of the people who farm Yogg and Hardmodes there's a tier of players who actually PUG stuff and don't want the experience to be horrendous.
Attunements and Quests used to function as the screen. Now they are gone.
Remember the Hunter Rok quest for the bow? The Vials of Eternity?
Yeah, of course some people sucked who got that stuff, but I guarantee less sucked who did that than who didn't.
Kiting those mobs in Winterspring, etc. was a PITA. Getting your Doomguard as a lock was brutal. Hell getting the next rank of some of your spells meant you knew what you were doing in Vanilla.
The times have changed. The margin for error is tighter because the numbers are bigger.
You can't carry people anymore, even on some normal mode encounters.......
Nick S Jul 24th 2009 2:09PM
I miss attunements. It felt like an accomplishment to have a full group of 10 ready for Karazhan, back in the day.
Accessibility > all these days, sadly.
impurezero Jul 24th 2009 2:21PM
As a reletively new player who hasn't done a single Outlands quest yet, I fully agree that the disappearance of attunements is a sad, sad state of affairs.
Hell, just the other day I did the (now completely unneccesary) attunement for UBRS. Had a great time collecting gems, and running out to Dustwallow to fire up my seal of ascension. Some of these quest-chains are my favorites so far. It saddens me that they won't even allow me to do the Onyxia chain anymore.
Oh well...at least I have my Dungeon Set upgrade quests and the Scepter of the Shifting Sands to keep me busy before I officially head over to Hellfire Peninsula.
Clydtsdk-Rivendare Jul 24th 2009 3:05PM
Attunements are still here, they're just called "achievements" now.
mirite?
Ben Jul 24th 2009 3:21PM
@impurezero
You can still do the Onyxia attunement quests. Talk to Warlord Goretooth in Kargath and listen to his story. He'll eventually give you Warlords Command quest which starts the chain. I have done all the quests up to killing General Drakkisath. I also did the chain for the Seal of Ascension for UBRS, though it's unnecessary. It's fun to go back and do all the quests I missed out on because I was still sub-60 when BC came out.