Two Bosses Enter ... but only One Boss Leaves, in WoW.com's series of fantasy death matches. Welcome to Round Two of the five-man Wrath of the Lich King season. Grab a seat, and let's get ready to rumble!
You're going to be kicking yourself if you didn't vote last week but believe Commander Stoutbeard (or Kolurg) should have defeated Krik'thir the Gatewatcher in the Two Bosses Thunderdome. The Gatewatcher scuttled past the Commanders to victory with a margin of less than 4% - a smaller number of readers than those who voted for a tie/uncertain decision.
Nathan: Really, the fight all comes down to which of the two commanders ends up fighting Krik'thir. If the battle comes down to a Dwarf Warrior versus a giant overgrown spider ... well, Dwarves are way more awesome. An Orc, on the other hand, while awesome in his own way, would simply not have what it takes to defeat Krik'thir and his minions. Here's how it would go down if it's Commander Stoutbeard doing the fighting:
Commander Stoutbeard and his posse encounter Krik'thir and his spiders; Krik'thir and his first group of minions immediately attack, but Stoutbeard quickly Whirlwinds Krik'thir's minions to death while being healed by his Priests, keeping him from taking serious damage.
Puzzled at his small enemy's resistance to damage, Krik'thir draws back in momentary puzzlement and to summon another group of minions into the fight. Taking advantage of the momentary respite, Stoutbeard challenges the spider to a drinking contest; the spider at first refuses, but Stoutbeard loudly mocks the spider, calling him a coward and insulting his mother. Krik'thir, embarrassed at being mocked in front of his remaining minions, accepts the challenge.
Stoutbeard then pulls a Gnome Warlock out of his back pocket, who then summons a Gnome Mage, who then summons water - Stoutbeard then whirlwinds both of the Gnomes, pulls a Barrel of Ale out of his other back pocket, and then uses his Brightbrew Charm to summon a Barmaid, who he waves at twice, getting two full tankards of Ale, one of which he promptly quaffs and offers to his opponent to use as a drinking vessel. With the Barmaid refilling their tankards out of the barrel as necessary, Stoutbeard promptly drinks Krik'thir under the table, and then orders his Barmaid to bash the unconscious Krik'thir to death with an empty tankard while he finishes emptying out the Barrel of Ale.
The remaining minions, sensing something wrong, attack, but without their master, they quickly fall to Stoutbeard's Whirlwinds. Stoutbeard, his Priests, and the Barmaid then enjoy another few tankards of Ale, courtesy of the barmaid, before adjourning to the nearest pub. All is well.
If it's Command Kolurg, on the other hand, he charges ahead of his Priests, leaving them to be surrounded and eaten by Krik'thir's minions, and then is promptly Curse of Fatigued, surrounded and eaten alive. The End.
On the balance, though, I have to give this to the Commanders, if only because I'm assuming the rules of the contest allow for me to pick which one of the commanders will be there to fight Krik'thir. Go, Dwarves!
Siaperas: I would say that the commanders would actually stand a great chance of winning if they would stop and "pull" each Krik'thir's mini-group adds. They are commanders, so I would assume that they have the capacity to think strategically.
Unfortunately, my encounter with the Orc commander painted him as a brash hothead, and if the Dwarf commander is like him in personality, they will both have problems. I mean, how did they end up frozen in the Nexus unless they were leaping before they looked?
My guess is that either commander will come upon Krik'thir and his three groups of friends and be focused on the big ugly one. Pride and overconfidence will overwhelm the Commander, and he'll charge with his healers directly at Krik'thir. Quickly this fight turns into a 10 v. 3 arena match, and unfortunately for the Commander, Krik'thir's team of 10 has a lot more CC and burst potential. The Commander quickly finds himself without heals and the Gatewatcher soon claims another victory.