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by Mike Schramm 
Sep 4th 2009 at 7:00PM
There are some possible lore spoilers in this one, so we're pushing it after the break. If you're not worried about hearing some crazy future lore and enjoy a good laugh at the son of Grom Hellscream, read on.
There's been some speculation lately that Thrall might be moving on to take the mantle of the Guardian of Tirisfal, and that Garrosh Hellscream will instead be given the title of Warchief of the Horde (speculation that's hinted at by Blizzard as well). But players aren't necessarily happy with that -- while the ingame NPCs of the Horde are bloodthirsty enough to put Garrosh in as their leader, players don't think his decisions in the past have necessarily been the best. In fact, Vacant on Eldre'thelas has compiled a list of 50 better Warchiefs than Garrosh, and from #5 (Hogger) to #42 ("The login dragon"), it's one of the funniest things we've read on the forums in a while, not to mention a who's who of pretty meaningless NPCs. When you think that "Sickly Gazelle" would be a better Horde leader than Garrosh, you know that faction's in trouble.
For the benefit of those of you at work and unable to access the forums, we've reprinted the top 50 list below (though be sure to head over to the forums to see the additions). "Basic Campfire" -- hilarious!
[via WoW_Ladies]
50 Warchiefs (plus a few more) that would be better than Garrosh (compiled by Vacant on Eldre'thelas)
1. Vol'jin
2. Cairne
3. Saurfang
4. Sylvanus
5. Hogger
6. Lor'themar Theron
7. Gorge the Corpsegrinder
8. Jeremiah Payson
9. Thathung
10. Saurfang The Younger's bloated corpse
11. Duchess Mynx
12. Mickey Levine
13. Megzeg Nukklebust
14. Gharbad the Weak
15. Mankirk
16. Mankirk's wife
17. Gurky
18. Lurky
19. Murky
20. Basic Campfire
21. That unclickable goblin girl who pedal-powers the Northrend zeps.
22. Gamon
23. Ganoosh
24. Ukor
25. Salandria
26. Lou the Cabin Boy
27. The Leaper
28. Noggle Ficklespragg
29. Egbert
30. Bloated Monsterbelly
31. Ug'thor Bloodfrenzy
32. High-Oracle Soo-say
33. Crewman Shubbscoop
34. Clarice Foster
35. Lost Barrens Kodo
36. Kekek
37. A Death Knight ghoul named Bonegobbler
38. Westfall Chicken
39. Shambles
40. Princess
41. Half a stack of Peacebloom
42. The login dragon
43. Sarkoth
44. A Steamy Romance Novel: Forbidden Love
45. Tiny Snowman
46. Farmer's Broom
47. Erlan Drudgemoor
48. Chocolate Celebration Cake
49. High Tinker Gelbin Mekkatorque, King of Gnomes
50. Sickly Gazelle
Head over to the forum thread to see the 100+ other suggestions!
Reader Comments (Page 3 of 13)
Saint Sep 4th 2009 8:51PM
Yeah Garrosh becoming Warchief may be the push I need to do a Faction Change. Can't stand the guy. I liked him in Outland, but ever since he's just become a total doucheasaurus.
Nick Sep 4th 2009 8:58PM
I stopped reading when you said Varian was the worst char. It shows you don't read lore.
Draelan Sep 4th 2009 9:22PM
My god... If Captain Placeholder became the new Horde Warchief, I would totally Faction change all my characters over there.
So when you find yourself lamenting
On that lonely pier,
Watching as the ships come in,
And dryin' off your tears,
Believe in what he stood for,
And I know that he’ll survive.
Inside our hearts dear Placeholder
Will always be alive!
ZakuraX Sep 5th 2009 10:26AM
And the tauren, the way I see it, are in the horde because Thrall helped them out. So if Garrosh takes over, and kills on of theirs, what keeps them from leaving? Garrosh forcing them to stay?
Michelle Sep 4th 2009 7:16PM
I'm Horde all the way and even I don't want Garrosh - in fact, among all the Horde people I know on my server, none of them want Garrosh. I vote Basic Campfire.
Dranaerys Sep 4th 2009 7:16PM
Well, if the allies have a dick for a king, it stands to reason that bliz wants to make an equally shitty leader for the horde. :p
Matthew Rossi Sep 4th 2009 7:21PM
At least Varian can point to things Orcs have done to him. You know, killed his dad, the guy who then took his place as dad (Anduin Lothar), enslaved him when he had amnesia.
Can Garrosh list a single bad thing ever done to him by a human? Thrall, sure. But Garrosh doesn't have a single solitary reason to hate the Alliance. He just DOES.
Fudomyo Sep 4th 2009 8:41PM
Varian serves a different function, here. His backstory resembles, on a few points, that of Thrall - only with dramatically differences. He is there to let the rest of the Alliance leaders remember what has been taken from them, and how life was before the 'horde abominations' came to their world. We can either agree or disagree with his warmonger atittude, but it has some sort of background development behind it.
Garrosh, on the other hand, is just an emo kid who has grown up to become a bully. Seriously, his father became one of the greatest heroes of the Horde by releasing his fellow orcs from the ties they held with Mannoroth, the blood rage and all that crap, and Garrosh keeps acting as if he were under the effects of demon blood.
Kargath seemed far more reasonable than him, back in SH. lol
Dreyja Sep 4th 2009 8:25PM
Yep, I'm no fan of Varian's actions of late but he's got some legit beefs.
Garrosh is just... an impulsive, selfish ass-hat that is stupidly embracing the worse of his people's past and actions. He's badly written if they want to make him an anti-hero.
The biggest hint from Blizz-con was Metzen's, "What do you think the world's greatest Shaman would be doing if the world was ripped apart." I'm thinking that a man as great as Thrall would want to do what is right in the biggest possible picture. Leading the Horde isn't doing that. /sigh... I love Thrall, and this is a female DWARF speaking. ;-p
jnk796 Sep 4th 2009 9:34PM
"Can Garrosh list a single bad thing ever done to him by a human? Thrall, sure. But Garrosh doesn't have a single solitary reason to hate the Alliance. He just DOES."
Hahaha, that would make him a perfect candidate for "Warchief of the /2 Horde."
Talk to any horde in trade on a normal server. No one has a reason to hate the Alliance, they just do.
Maybe Garrosh is a better Warchief then we first thought.
sephirah Sep 4th 2009 7:16PM
Alliance already had their demented leader.
Why should the Horde suffer the same fate?
Mel Sep 4th 2009 7:23PM
a) poetic justice
b) faction balancing
c) because!
zuldim Sep 4th 2009 7:33PM
That's like the opposite of poetic justice. Poetic justice would be if the "good" faction had a warmonger leader, and the "bad" faction had a peace loving leader.
So like it is now.
RogueJedi86 Sep 4th 2009 8:15PM
"Alliance already had their demented leader."
It's not dementia if Varian's fully justified(see Matthew Rossi's comment just above yours). "Orcs killed my dad, then my adoptive dad, slaughtered my people, their allies are walking mockeries of our once strongest kingdom, those same allies killed the man who raised my son as his own during my absence(which was due to Orcs forcing me to be a gladiator), and now I finally want to bash a few skulls in return." How is that demented? That's very damn justified.
But if you mean our demented leader is Fandral Staghelm, then I feel I can agree with you. Despite his tragic past in the War of the Shifting Sands, he could be a little nicer to his own faction.
Zeyph Sep 4th 2009 10:05PM
Good news about Fandral though, I don't foresee him in power for much longer. Furions coming back, and last I checked, he was the Archdruid of the Night elves, Staghelm was just for the interim. Unless Ysera decides to haul his ass back to the dream after we kick Raggy in the ass again.
On another topic, why does the rest of the world care if the World tree gets burnt again? It really will only affect the Night elves.
grimmeld Sep 4th 2009 7:17PM
51: Romantic Picknick Basket
Jacqueline Sep 4th 2009 7:18PM
I vote for Fandral Staghelm. Cant decided who is liked less him or Garrosh.
Dreyja Sep 4th 2009 8:29PM
LOL, he'd be about as good for the Alliance in that role. ;-)
Fired Sep 4th 2009 7:19PM
I think it'd be pretty cool to have Hellscream as our leader. I'll be hoping for some pvp related dailies in Azeroth.
Also, I wouldn't mind the Horde becoming a bit more...savage.
RogueJedi86 Sep 4th 2009 8:17PM
Judging by the downvoting of your comment, Hordies don't like the Savage Horde of Warcraft 1 & 2(and part of 3). It seems like they rolled the wrong faction if they want to be proud honorable ugly guys(Dwarves are on Alliance side if that's what they really want).