Drama Mamas: Of crime and crossdressing
by Robin Torres 
Oct 28th 2009 at 8:00PM
Pictured above is just some of the torture devices on the prison ship Success. The writer of our first letter is not looking to send a guild "criminal" on a tortuous journey across the globe to a penal colony, but he is looking to exact a harsher punishment than the one already meted out. Our second petitioner is tortured about being considered weird for playing the opposite gender. We won't torture you with any further delays before letting you at the drama.
Crime and Punishment in Communist Azeroth
Dear Drama Mamas, our guild is fairly relaxed when it comes to loot. It wasn't by design, but many have likened us to a Communist country nature: everyone contributes what greens and enchanting mats from our raids and heroics to the guild bank. In return, all enchants for alts and mains come straight from the guild bank. As a result, I haven't actually paid for any of my own enchants for a long time.
Recently, Flame Leviathan (hard mode) dropped a blacksmithing pattern. Since it was a guild run, it was obvious to go ahead and default that to the blacksmith in the raid. Four days later, one of our death knights decided that the extra gem slots were worth the trouble of having the thing made. He gathered up the mats and as soon as the Blacksmith logged on to Vent asked him to craft the item. His response was "Uuuuagh... fine... I guess.... Let me go get it off the Auction House." At which point everyone in the channel freaked out a bit and told him that was not okay. Any person in the raid could have put it up for money. We defaulted it to him because he was the only one who could actually learn it for guild use.
In the end, the DK did get his belt made and the Blacksmith did learn the recipe, but it has left a lot of guild members feeling sore. This is partly because the blacksmith in question just happens to be the guild leader's older brother, Myself and the other officers are pushing for some sort of punishment for this, while the guild leader has assured us that this won't happen again. Any guild patterns we receive from now on need to be learned on the spot and the blacksmith in question won't receive any patterns we receive in any instances for a while.
Am I looking for too much blood when I say that I think this is too light of a punishment -- especially since he is our only raider with blacksmithing? What's more is with the nature of random loot drops, it's not totally unreasonable for us not to see any blacksmithing patterns for a long time, perhaps until Icecrown. This really doesn't feel like anything more then a slap on the wrist. Any thoughts on a more severe punishment? Maybe losing a few ranks in guild so he has a little less access to guild bank materials? Being forced to come to our raids in nothing but greens? Something in between? Thanks! Concerned Comrade DruidDrama Mama Robin: Hey, Comrade. I agree that what the Greedy Blacksmith did was wrong, even if he were in a not-so-communal guild. All patterns should obviously be learned by the designated Guild Blacksmith and your new guild rule of instantly learning patterns will prevent this in the future.
I'm not sure what you are trying to accomplish with the extra punishment, however. Certainly you must see that having him raid in all greens will punish the entire raid. And no real harm was done -- though obviously that was due to the timing of the DK wanting the item and not from him reconsidering his decision to sell.
Greedy Blacksmith has been on the receiving end of the wrath of his fellow guildies, the embarrassment of being publicly chastised and is obviously being watched by you and others for future transgressions. He is also on a formal probation from receiving future patterns (though this seems to hurt the guild, too, if he is the only blacksmith). Everyone makes mistakes and you have made no indication that this is part of a pattern of behavior.
In the future, if he seems to be exploiting his relationship to the GL and/or breaking guild rules then he should absolutely be demoted or otherwise suitably punished for his transgressions. But if this is an isolated incident, I don't see the benefit of punishing him further.
That having been said, you and your guildies could have a little fun with him. Perhaps you could make him run naked through an enemy city while low level enemy alts taunt the locals into ganging up on him. Or you could have him spend an evening offering to run noobs through dungeons for free. Keep it good natured -- he'll get the point and your need for justice will hopefully be satisfied.
Drama Mama Lisa: You say you want what's best for the guild, Comrade, but the guild's knee-jerk reaction has spawned conflicting policies that simultaneously help (learning pattern drops on the spot) and hurt (withholding pattern drops from the guild's only blacksmith) the guild as a whole. The first priority for your guild, it seems to me, is another look at that little dichotomy. What's actually helping the guild? What's not?
Beyond that, I have to agree with Robin – why the fixation on punishment?
- Fix your policies, not your players. Exacting "punishments" for problem behavior only ensures that you'll keep needing to use them. If guild members act like twits who need constant rules checks and punishments to keep them in line, are they really people you want to be playing with?
- If you don't trust your GM and his ability to keep nepotism out of the picture, perhaps it's not Mr. Blacksmith the Brother who's the real issue.
- Our previous advice to The Other Egg (who was upset at sharing guild tags with a player who'd ninja'd) holds: If you trust your GM, then show it. If he says the situation won't happen again, consider the matter handled. Case closed. Quit creating drama by beating this dead horse in public, and move on.
- If a no-tolerance rule for ninjas is important to enough members, ask the officers to bring it up with the GM. The key: this issue is a SEPARATE ISSUE from Mr. Blacksmith's little situation (because you trusted the GM to resolve that issue, remember?). Contribute constructively, then let the officers and the system work.
What's weird?Hey Drama Mamas: So I'm rerolling a mage Alliance-side. I picked Draenei because they're the only really cool-looking Alliance race, but I think male Draenei look dumb in robes. I don't want to roll a female toon if people think that's weird. Is it wrong for a guy to play a chick toon? Signed, No Pink Dresses for Me
Drama Mama Lisa: I play with a bunch of guys I've gamed with across various games for years and years – and yeah, it strikes me as a little fey when one of them pulls up to an instance in a new female toon. That said, it's the same voice as always that's booming in my headset -- so ultimately, it's less odd to me than, say, recycling a name from a past character on a totally different type of character.
Some players have strong feelings about males playing female characters; I'll let reader comments on the subject speak for themselves. My take on your "weird" criteria:
- It is NOT weird if you're roleplaying the character.
- It is NOT weird if you're already well known to your groupmates and guildmates.
- It is NOT weird if you're fairly clear about dropping the hint that you're male to those you group with regularly. (Just be honest about who you are. No ulterior motives.)
- It IS weird if you try to maintain a feminine front or don't dodge assumptions that you're female from a player-behind-the-toon perspective (as opposed to a roleplaying perspective). What is it you're hoping to accomplish by maintaining a false front? We can't think of anything that doesn't smell suspiciously fishy.
The Spousal Unit has a female blood elf warlock because she has pretty pixels. At first, I had issues: "I'm the girl in this relationship!" But that didn't last very long and now I just don't care. On the other hand, when a friend in EQ switched to female so that he could take advantage of lonely nerds and get free gear, I purposely lost touch with him.
So, check your motives, Pink. If you're not planning to deceive anyone, then feel free to play the fairer gender. And again, who cares if people think you're weird? In all things, be your own Wendy... or Katrina... or Lorelei... or [enter female character name here].
Remember, your mama wouldn't want to see your name on any drama. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Virtual selves, Features, Drama Mamas
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 7)
Kylenne Oct 28th 2009 8:23PM
Pro Tip for question #2: people who are secure in their own gender and sexuality don't generally give a shit about something as trivial as what character you play in a video game. People who give you grief are not worth your time.
Sehvekah Oct 28th 2009 9:34PM
This. Admittedly, I'm a guy, and online play male toons almost* exclusively, but I know better than to rag on other people for the gender of the toon they play, or the race, class, or combination thereof. People play this game and others for, amazingly enough, FUN, and they'll play what lets them have that fun. I, and most other people, am content to let them, because I'm playing what I think is fun, and so long as we're all being decent to each other it all works out and we all have fun.
Besides, female Draenei Mages are awesome, you shouldn't be ashamed to play one.
*=I do actually have two female toons, one in WoW and one more in another game I play. Why? I thought they were cute. No, not "I'd hit that, lol, just something that makes you go "awwwwwwwwww", right before they start savagely ripping someone apart, or melting their face, or otherwise invoking the Beware The Cute Ones trope**.
**=OK, so that's more a combination or other tropes(Beware The Nice Ones, Waif Fu, Killer Rabbit, ect), but still, it's *fun*.
swimstarguy Oct 28th 2009 10:24PM
I care, that's why I always role females.
They tend to be hawt.
:)
Microtonal Oct 28th 2009 11:14PM
If you're so afraid that people will think you're gay that you have hangups about playing a female character in an MMO (or about other people doing it), you need a psychiatrist, not an advice columnist. That's not normal.
Seriously. This is 2009, not 1953.
Tethra Oct 28th 2009 11:18PM
What Kylenne said (though i think the guys who are like, "I play a chick 'cause I don't wanna stare at a dude's ass" have issues). I'm a chick who mostly rolls male toons, but that's only because I don't like the way most of the female models look.
Eyhk Oct 29th 2009 1:05AM
I have no issues staring at dude ass pixels, i'd just rather stare at chick ass pixels. And yes, Nightelf males are gay.
Darky Oct 29th 2009 2:32AM
its more that I don't really like seeing bulky male mages id rather a slender look (so UD males don't bother me when they're a caster, nor do dwarf/tauren females when they're a plate wearer) , it annoys me seeing a guy like that wearing a robe, but i'm very stylistic not so much gender as much as it is proportions.
Sarabande Oct 29th 2009 7:16AM
@ Microtonal
I don't think the guy was afraid of seeming gay, just weird.
I have a male friend who have been given grief because they play a girl toon, even though he makes it CLEAR that he's a guy. One guy accused him of hitting on his wife (not sure how that came about) and one girl reported him. I'd think the GMs had a good laugh about that one after they scratched their heads some.
I say, if people have a problem, then it's THEIR problem - they either have their own hangups or can't separate reality and fantasy.. Some people like to play big, hairy cows that carry huge axes that they bury in people's heads. That doesn't seem to bother anyone, even though in real life, I bet they look nothing like a big hairy cow.
And if you think about it, in many games, you had no choice - you played the MAIN CHARACTER, be it Lara Croft or Squall Leonhart. Bet no one had a problem with that.
Besides, I've heard many say "Guys don't look good in robes. I'll roll a female caster."
Rubella Oct 29th 2009 7:18AM
Addendum to Protip:
Why is it that there is an expectation that a toon's gender match the real life player's?
I mean, your not really a talking cow in real life?!??!?!? You lied to me!
MusedMoose Oct 29th 2009 7:38AM
Agreed. I'm a guy, and most of my characters in WoW are female, for a few reasons.
First, I do tabletop RPGs with friends every weekend, and so pretending to be someone of a different gender is nothing new or weird to me at all. We're a small group, so we usually play two characters each, and most of the time I end up playing one who's male and another who's female. In the game I'm running, one of the women is playing one character who's male and one whose race has no assigned gender (warforged, living constructs from the Eberron setting) but who identifies as male.
Second, I don't try to pass myself off as female when I'm playing WoW. If someone asks while I'm playing a female character, I'll tell them that I'm a guy. To be honest, though, the only time it's come up is when I'm playing with friends and one of their friends asks why they're referring to a female character as "he".
Third, most of the male toons are pretty damn buff, and when I play one, I spend half my time thinking "I really should go work out instead of playing WoW." *grin*
Fraeda Oct 29th 2009 8:41AM
On my server, I have a toon for each class, one male and one female of each race (although Cata is going to muck that up...). People I game with know who I am throught Ventrilo as a middle aged guy, even though they call me Fraeda because that is the name of my main (hawt troll mage). It's just random that my powerful DPS toons tend to be female (Mage, Pally, Priest(ess), Shammy & Druid) and no one has ever freaked out about it. When I talk about Fraeda (the toon) in particular it is natural to use the third person and use the female pronouns. When I talk about the player (Fraeda, my vent ID), I use the first person and use proper male pronouns.
The only difference is a pug and I don't divulge personal information, so I use the female pronouns talking about the toon...
Nemu Oct 29th 2009 11:54AM
I agree with this post. In a former guild, our MT rolled a Draenei female War the night BC came out and actually found that he liked the combo so much, that all of his subsequent toons were female Draens. His GF didn't think he was odd, I didn't think he was odd (and being a lesbian, I didn't think he had any "questions" or nefarious plans, either)--he just genuinely liked playing the race/gender. Much like how I love playing Tauren, tho (with the exception of my feral druid and War*) I play female chars.
I always wondered why anyone cared what gender you played in a game. It's a game, who cares? ESPECIALLY in a fantasy/RPG setting. Do those with hangups think that other people THINK they're their toons or something? It's not like I warstomp whenever I disagree with someone and they walk away...
*Frankly, even as a Tauren, females wearing tank gear look small, so I wanted big ol' tanks when I rolled those toons.
Deadly. Off. Topic. Oct 29th 2009 12:16PM
I roll both male and female characters.
Why? Because I like variety and it gets boring having 3 human females in a row.
jam Oct 28th 2009 8:26PM
Probably close to 50% of our raiding group consists of female characters. With only 3 female players in that group.. yeah, there are many who play character of opposite gender (myself included). I never saw anything strange or wrong with it (and I don't personally know anyone who does), female characters just happen to be more pleasing to the eye. :-P
I think that those who believe that guys playing female characters have problems.. are actually the ones with some issues.
Moonkinmaniac Oct 28th 2009 8:28PM
I wouldn't worry about what gender you play. Its just a game. I'm a girl and I play a male char because I think he looks cool and the armor is less offensive lol.
Qot Oct 28th 2009 11:26PM
Some girls roll male characters just to get away from being asked "Are you really a girl?" and the drama that usually ensues to either answer: "Yes" and you're pestered with ERP suggestions; "No" and you're usually called some sort of derogatory word.
Moonkinmaniac Oct 29th 2009 12:29AM
I have to admit its partly for that reason as well. I avoid teamspeak and vent for that reason. Most of the time when I'm asked or eventually it comes up that I'm really a girl guys are cool about it, but I've had my fair share of stalkers and bad experiences even left guilds for the stupidness of some people. Still you should NEVER let other people dictate how you play. If you wanna play a girl and are one just ignore the idiots, its why we have the list.
nieboh Oct 29th 2009 10:59AM
I play a male paladin and a female mage and an assortment of other toons. I am not my toon. When I refer to my mage I say something like "She can do that enchant" or "I have to get her some more +SP gems". When I talk about my pally, I say "He can make that sword" or "do you want him as a healer or a tank?" The people with whom I regularly play know my gender because it's pretty obvious over vent.
People I don't know, don't need to know my gender. If someone asked me while playing my mage "are you really a girl?" the answer would be "my toon really is a girl."
And, while I have had that question a few times while playing over the last many years, I've never had anyone stop and ask me "can you really conjure a blizzard?" It seems people can separate some aspects of reality and fantasy, but not others.
Eddy Oct 29th 2009 12:32PM
On my server? People have asked me to reroll a female character so they can ERP with it.
I keep telling them that if they wanna ERP with me, it has to be their male character and my male character.
Snuzzle Oct 29th 2009 4:41PM
What nieboh said. I'm a female who plays almost exclusively male toons. My exceptions are my herd of female cows, because damn if they aren't the most adorable model in the game in my personal (and admittedly minority) opinion.
Often in PuGs I get referred to as "he" or "him" and I just don't bother correcting them. If they need to know my gender, I'll tell them, but it's not something they need to know. I just don't want to deal with the jerks who make a big deal out of it and hit on me, or are shocked that "OMG GIRL ON VENT!".
On the other end of the spectrum are the guys who think that because I'm a girl, I deserve special treatment or they cut me more slack in my playing because "she's just a girl". I never want to hear "you tank well...for a girl." No, I tank DAMN well tyvm and if you have a problem with the way I'm playing, I don't want you to push it aside because of my gender.
My guildies and friends know my gender, random people I PuG with don't. And by now most of my friends know not to correct someone when they refer to me as he or him. It just causes more grief than it's worth.
It's strange though how a chick playing male toons can confuse people, but a male playing female toons is just normal. I remember being in a PuG where they insisted we be on vent, and it was me on my male paladin and another guy on his female paladin. They kept getting us mixed up, even though my vent name was my toon's name.