Skip to Content
11-28-2009 @ 5:20PM
Been down the same road as Brokenhearted but with different scenery. Lisa is correct that it's not about WOW. WOW is the facilitator that allowed someone to abdicate the responsibilities of being part of a marriage. It's hard work some days. It's maddening some days. It's the most glorious thing you could have ever done some days. It's mind-numbingly boring some days. But, you both made a commitment to each other, whether it was in front of a county clerk with the next couple in line as witnesses or in front of 500 of your best friends at the church across town. That means what should be important is not WOW or your guild but yourselves. Take 3 months off. Period. End of discussion. If you want to stay in your guild, do so, but both of you take 3 months off. I don't think you need to be explicit with the guild leadership unless you feel you can trust them, completely trust them. Yes, people were probably talking behind your back, but do you want your dirty laundry aired in guild chat? I'd vote no. Just tell the leadership there are personal issues that come before WOW and you are taking 3 months off. Make a recommendation on which guild members should take your officer spots. Train them and leave. Be gone within 1 week of your announcement. Then hie thee to a marriage counselor and find out what the underlying issues are, why your husband was tempted in the first place. It's going to be very hard work, hugely painful but if you really do love this man and he really does love you, it's work that has to be done. If he balks, go by yourself. As someone who did that, I discovered things about myself that were not positive and which had to be changed. It made me a better mom and friend, too. Don't log onto an alt "just to check things out". If you must be on the computer, play solitaire or research a B&B where the two of you will go after your 3 months are over, when, I hope, you have a renewed commitment to each other. As for the other woman, leave the decision on kicking her to your other officers and the GL. She has issues of her own, but it's not up to you to make her work on those. The real issue is not her anyway, it's the two of you. She already knows what happened. She knows what your husband has been ordered to do. All contact with her must end. There can be nothing which is why you should not play WOW for 3 months. It's too easy to find out where someone went and whisper them on an alt. Make family time. Weekends, take the kids somewhere, to the zoo or a museum. You should get a hobby, if you don't have one, or go to the library and get yourself a couple of books to read while they are napping. There are thousands of resources on the Internet with inexpensive ideas for all ages. You will rediscover the reason you have children and how special life is when seen through their eyes. I don't think your marriage is irreparably broken. I think you can fix it and make it stronger. It's going to take both of you, however. Good luck.
11-28-2009 @ 9:32PM
You sir, have nailed exactly what must be done. It is unfortunate that marriages go through rocky patches, but if it wasn't so, maybe the good things in them (kids, happiness) wouldn't be worth it. However, they are married. They must surely realize what is happening, lest they be prey to ignorance and its consequences.Where ignorance and secrets dwell, the truth is like a sobering blade- and I wish I could write poetry just so I could express what I am trying to say. However, I am too late. Someone greater has shown them the path (you). They must walk it (hmm that sounds cheesy). Anyway, I sincerely hope they can overcome their problems.
First time? A confirmation email will be sent to you after submitting.
Members enter your username and password.
Enter your AOL or AIM screenname and password.
Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry. Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments.
When you enter your name and email address, you'll be sent a link to confirm your comment, and a password. To leave another comment, just use that password.
To create a live link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address and we will make it a live link for you. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br /> tags.