15 Minutes of Fame: Amazon grace, how sweet these guilds

Why would players want to play only with others just like themselves? Members of special interest guilds tell us their groups allow them to play away from others who either inadvertently or purposely seek to harass or offend. GLBT guilds, Christian guilds (scroll down to Recruiting) and similar groups offer a haven for players seeking a peaceful place to hang out with like-minded souls. This week, we look at a new group that offers not one, not two, but three special interest guilds. The Goddess guilds of Nesingwary and Winterhoof, along with a brother guild also on Nesingwary, welcomes females - actual, physical females, not female characters - with a friendly, events-focused environment. We visited with long-time gamer and Goddess guilds founder Myredd to find out why so many women appreciate playing in a females-only environment.

15 Minutes of Fame: What got you thinking about forming an all-female guild in the first place?
Myredd: With a severe case of altaholism, I have experienced a number of guilds on several servers. While every guild has drama at times, I began to notice that the kind of drama that broke guilds apart and the kind of behavior that disrupted my own enjoyment of the game seemed to come from male guildies - especially teen boys. Guild chat often disgusted me for its sexism, its arrogance, its intolerance. The best guilds I was part of were run by adult women, who seemed to take a greater interest in fostering cooperation, helpfulness and civility.
If you read discussion threads in groups of female WoW players, you'll see that we are not always treated well or respectfully in-game. As a female in a traditionally male profession (I'm clergy), I know how good it is to have a place where I can share with other women who know the special challenges we face.
All of that together made me think that for the often-derided demographic of female WoW players, a safe place might be welcome. As it turns out, it was.
How long have the Goddess guilds been running now?
Goddess of the Horde was formed on Nesingwary in March 2009 and has 224 members. Goddess (Alliance) was formed in Winterhoof on August 2009 and has 67 members. Each guild also has its own Facebook group.
What are the benefits of being in an all-female guild? How is the atmosphere different?
Many women just want a place where they don't have to listen to constant talk of what guys would like to do to their female toons, extensive talk of female body parts, and frequent use of "rape" as a general term for fun, in-game conquest. One of our guild members had been so burned that when one of us said, "Oh, I love my druid!", she said "Stop it! That's disgusting!" Then she remembered where she was and said, "Oh wait. This is an all-girl guild, right?" We said we were. "And there are no boys here?" Again we agreed. Then she loosened up.
Female players feel safe with us. We have some who have been victims of domestic abuse, and an all-female guild offers a place where they don't hear the kind of chat that triggers old wounds. There has been woman-to-woman help with relationship issues and other family concerns as well as a place where our talk of pregnancy, menopause and other women's issues don't have to be relegated to whispers. We get it.
Do you actually run things differently?My sense is that we are more social. We like to do just plain fun things together as well as questing and running instances. On the third Saturday of each month, the Goddess of the Horde guild celebrates guild birthdays by giving away gold to low-level players outside our guild. We hide in lowbie areas and each of us hands out 10g to the first person under level 20 to find us. When people ding 80 (thus earning the guild rank of "Goddess"), we gather in the Undercity courtyard and celebrate. We dress up in elegant clothes, share food and drink, turn each other into whatever someone has a wand for, roll for wrapped mystery gifts, shoot fireworks, throw paper zeppelins, show off our pets, and tell /silly jokes. We go heffalump jumping.
Are there drawbacks to being gender-segregated?
There are two main drawbacks that I've encountered so far. The first relates to female players who play with males they are close to in RL. Mostly it is husbands or significant others, but there are mothers who play with sons and women or girls who play with male friends. We have recently addressed that issue by having the husband of one of our guildies start a "brother" guild on Nesingwary, Lords of the Horde. We have a joint chat channel and run things together.
The other drawback is in recruiting. I have only rarely put out a general recruitment message in trade, because the trade chat trolls jump on an all-female guild like Alliance PvP players on The Crossroads. The instant assumptions have been: 1. I'm really a male pedophile looking for victims. 2. We're a lesbian guild. 3. We're Wiccans (because of the Goddess name). Depending on the reigning assumption, chat then degenerates from there. As the males in trade troll on, females will often whisper support to me. I usually don't engage the trolls except to thank them for showing everyone why an all-female guild is necessary.
The hassle and abuse from recruiting in trade means that 99% of recruiting is done by friends inviting friends, plugs I put on Facebook groups and forums, or by direct encounters and whispered conversations in-game. I often whisper unguilded female toons (a number of whom turn out to be RL males-especially BElves), but that means I miss women who roll male toons and all women currently in guilds who might be looking for something like us.
Do you find that the Goddess guilds have a different age demographic than other guilds?
Both guilds are mostly adult women. Our oldest member is 62 and there are several of us in middle age (I'm 50). There are also a number of young mothers, some of who play with their daughters. We have people across the age spectrum, but it is heavily weighted toward adults.

We have several partnered lesbians in the guild, quite a few with boyfriends or husbands, and a number who are single and I have no clue what their orientation is. The issue of sexual orientation doesn't enter into chat often, and it's not an issue for us unless we are defending a guildie who is being attacked outside of the guild. Intolerance for any group is not acceptable within the guild.
Do you require that applicants be the appropriate gender?
The first of our guild guidelines (posted on the website) is "Be a Female. This is a guild for real-life females. Your toons can be male or female, but we are a guild of women and girls. You don't have to submit DNA to join, but we will remove members who are discovered to be males. We don't dislike you guys, and we're more than happy to group with you, especially if your wife or GF is in the guild. But this is a guild for female players. Please respect that. Guys can be part of the action by joining our brother guild, Lords of the Horde."
Is being a "closet male" grounds for an automatic guild kick? Why have males tried to "sneak in" -- what have they sought to gain?
We do kick those we discover to be male. In some cases there seems to be genuine confusion about whether "all-female" means in real life or just the toon gender, and those we try to remove as gently as possible, encouraging them to join the Lords. Some have.
In other cases, however, there have been males (those teen boys again) who have overactive imaginations and think that chat in an all-female guild will be filled with the sexual secrets of women or otherwise be a turn-on. They say they are female to gain access to that fiction. The kind of person who does that usually has enough personality problems that issues surface and we discover their gender. They often cause major drama in revealing themselves as a male and in those cases kicking them becomes quite satisfying.
In a few cases, our closet males have made me sad. They are the social misfits that get bullied in school and are usually young boys looking to our guild for a mom. But caring for them would be a guild with a different mission than ours, so out they go. But again, we try to make their exit kind.
How have your members reacted to the all-female atmosphere?
What people say about our guild are:
- "It's so nice to be in a guild where the chat isn't all about body parts!"
- "I love being in a guild where I'm respected and not made fun of."
- "I really like being with other gals who share my interests."
- "Teen boys cause all the drama."
Since our Goddess of the Horde founding back in March, we've had three instances of drama. One was a 13-year old girl and we worked with her to improve her behavior. The other two turned out to be boys who then admitted their gender and quit the guild.
You sound as if you've got a steady hand and more than a few years of gaming under your belt.
I have been a PC gamer since Zork and did Pong, Space Invaders and other Atari console games before that. Yup, that would make me old. I've played Sims of all sorts, casual games, RTS games and adventure games, but RPGs have always been my favorite.
Anything else?
Having an all-female guild also means that we miss out on some of the really awesome guys we meet along the way, but our hope is that forming the Lords of the Horde will let us have the best of both worlds. We still don't have a brother guild for our Alliance guild on Winterhoof, as that guild is much newer and smaller, but I'm hopeful that the same opportunity will present itself there, too.
For more information on the Goddess and Lords guilds, visit Goddess of the Horde and Goddess of the Alliance.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, WoW Social Conventions, Virtual selves, Guilds, Features, Interviews, 15 Minutes of Fame






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 6)
sarkune Dec 1st 2009 3:07PM
I have to wonder at their stance towards transgendered people. Just a thought.
Karilyn Dec 1st 2009 4:00PM
Transsexual women are real women.
Transsexual men are real men.
I've been in two women's guilds; Horde's Angels had one transsexual, and OCAR had two transsexuals. They are simply women as far as we were concerned, nothing more.
There is miles of difference between a transsexual and a crossdresser.
I'm a lesbian myself, and I spend a fair bit of time in the GBLT community. My life partner regularly enjoys crossdressing as a male, but is every bit a female, and is the woman I love. My best friend is a gay male crossdresser, who is still every bit male.
I have met crossdressers, drag queens, drag kings, genderqueers, and gender benders of all sizes and shapes. And yet they have nothing in common with the transsexuals I have met.
Transsexuals are who they claim to be. They just have a very sad birth defect. But in every way except physically, they are the same as other woman. It would be incredibly cruel to discriminate against a transsexual in a women's guild, just because of their birth defect.
Rubitard Dec 1st 2009 3:09PM
So, I'm obviously some sort of sicko. The first thing I thought of when I saw an all-female (IRL) guild was this: Do they... you know... cycle together? Would a group of females have to be in physical proximity for that to happen, or can it happen over a few months of Vent chat? No, I'm not going to look this up on Wikipedia. I actually just wish I wouldn't think of stuff like this. Okay... so... how 'bout them Giants?!
clundgren Dec 1st 2009 3:29PM
You need a remedial sex ed. class, STAT!
Rubitard Dec 1st 2009 3:34PM
@ clundgren
You are absolutely right. This is what I get for having a job that keeps me at home for days at a time. I get a little... stir crazy.
Sleutel Dec 1st 2009 6:56PM
Women's menstrual cycles synch in the same way that your car's windshield wipers synch with the music on the radio: i.e., they don't, they just appear to for a bit, then move apart again.
Psiwave Dec 1st 2009 3:14PM
I don't really know what to make of this idea, gender discrimination really grates on me. But against an enemy like the teenage male I can see why you would take an isolationist stance.
I suppose the existsnce of guilds like this are a sad inditement of the attitudes of many gamers than a form of intolerance in themselves.
zappo Dec 2nd 2009 10:19AM
Yeah, exactly what I was thinking. It looks like they're seeking refuge from annoying teenage boys more then males in general, and I think they're sort of throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But I suppose it works. I think they'd have nearly as much success if they had an age limit too. Sadly as much as I find this entire concept annoying, nearly all my characters are un-guilded... because of annoying people... who are usually teenagers... who are male...
So more power too them I guess.
Letharginator Dec 3rd 2009 2:42AM
Personally isolating yourself is fine, but isolating your self from a gender is discrimination.
I know they're not trying to take a radical stance, but this kinda thing really gets to me. Reacting to a situation by banning men propagates the idea that all men are vile offensive slobs, which in turn gives men who act that way an excuse for their behavior. All their complaints are things that you could deal with by having guild rules about maturity.
Even if its not intentional, this guild is part of the problem and not the solution.
Byron Dec 2nd 2009 3:48PM
"Reacting to a situation by banning men propagates the idea that all men are vile offensive slobs,"
That kind of hyperbolic making of molehills into mountains is probably exactly what they're trying to escape. Maybe you didn't read the whole article, but she specifically said they've formed brother guild/s for the decent men they know and want to play the game with.
They're clearly not discriminating against men, just assholes, which in WoW tend to be predominantly teenage boys. Handling this issue with any more precision (less broad discrimination) would be too time consuming for people who just want to play a game in a civil environment.
Letharginator Dec 3rd 2009 2:42AM
Byron, if they're just trying to escape the bottom dregs of the male element, why bother having a brother guild at all? Why not just combine the two guilds into one big one that operates on strict rules about maturity?
The problem is that they have a policy of exclusion based on gender, not merit or character. That's discrimination, and tolerating discrimination in any form absolutely propagates the negative ideas that cause it.
As for "Handling this issue with any more precision (less broad discrimination) would be too time consuming for people", tough shit. If this were an issue or race would you even consider making a statement like that? If they didn't admit homosexuals because gays cause all the drama and its easier to just say no gays, would you pass it off as acceptable? Hell no. Discriminating because its easier is one of the main reasons discrimination is so prevalent, and its not a valid excuse.
Korek Dec 1st 2009 3:13PM
Good for them. As an adult bisexual man I definitely understand the frustration with many aspects of gamer culture. For me its references to things being "so gay" (oddly, "so ghey" is probably more offensive, go figure) and suchnot. For the most part I'm able to filter those kinds of things out, but I do absolutely get where they are coming from and wish them all the best.
It's probably worth noting that I have heard of similar guilds in other games (my spouse plays Runes of Magic and has run across adverts for all-female-player guilds that use ventrillo to verify before you can join.)
johnthediver Dec 1st 2009 3:35PM
Being a straight man I find the use of the word "Gay" for anything bad really offensive. There is nothing I hate more than hearing someone say "That's gay", you know unless they are talking about actually being gay.
Being a straight man actively involved in the theater community a large portion of my male friends are gay (I know another stereo type), and it hurts me to see their lives made a derogatory word.
Skraps
Kylenne Dec 1st 2009 3:15PM
Before the pigs and trolls show up: this sounds like an awesome guild and one I'd love to join if I was on that server. What a timely post too, considering I had a really bad incident WRT sexism last night that left me in tears. The value of safe space to play in is often lost on people who are in the majority.
Karilyn Dec 1st 2009 3:36PM
It really is. I was a member of two separate women's guilds on different servers before I became a more serious raider and moved on.
Horde's Angels
Our Crits Are Real
Was a really nice place, and even having moved on, now 3 years later I still am close friend with many of the ex-members of OCAR.
Jackjeckel Dec 1st 2009 3:19PM
My wife is actually in this guild and im in lords and as nice as it is to see a guild form up around this more often then not im a little saddened because im not in the g chat with her due to the fact that we are in different guilds. Were not big on talking so we type most of the time and it just becomes a hassle. I dont disagree with the rules but i think some exceptions should be made for those who want to be with their partners if they cause drama then by all means remove them but if they lighten up the mood and they are enjoyable to be around then by all means let them in. We have finally found the seclusion we have been looking for by joining in here now we would just like to enjoy it together.
Dane Bramage Dec 1st 2009 3:39PM
i agree with you jack. to me it sounds like the GMs problem is with a pattern of behavior not the fact that the individual is male. i've been in half a dozen different guilds and i have never had/seen/been partner to the kind of behavior she describes. but then again... i've really only been in guilds with mature adults/teenagers. not saying that teenage males aren't rude/crude and offensive, but on the other hand... i have never met a bigger drama queen than a teenage girl.
i'll say, whatever works for you, then bravo. you found a niche and you are gaming happily. more power to you. it is sad that you get trolled because of what you do. the game world can be a harsh place. its unfortunate that some people can't behave like mature adults.
(cutaia) Dec 1st 2009 3:40PM
I was debating on posting my comment and almost decided against it because I wasn't sure how it sounded. Since you bring it up, though:
--------
If your only goal is to avoid drama or offensive /g-chat, then "respect eachother" would seem to be a better rule than simply "be female."
Once you start disallowing respectful males whom you enjoy playing with (such as guildies' husbands and siblings), the all female thing ceases to be a rational protection against bad behavior and becomes nothing more than a gimmick.
This is not to say that gimmick guilds are wrong, of course...if someone wants to make a guild that only allows dwarf rogues or people who listen to Imogen Heap, I think that's awesome. This male and female only brother/sister thing is awesome, too, for those that enjoy it.
I just think it should be seen for what it is...a neat little gimmick. Say that you made an all female guild because you think it's cool...not because males automatically ruin guilds or something.
Hopefully what I'm saying made sense. I'm not trying to down the guild or anything. Eh...I'm just gonna go sit in the corner...
Druidski Dec 1st 2009 3:44PM
My suggestion for the guilds would be to create a special chat channel they can use to communicate together, but still have their repective guilds and guild chats. For example, create "goddessandlords" as a seperate channel, leave instructions how to join the channel in guild info (if they so choose) then husbands, boyfriends, or friends still have a communal place to chat while maintaining the integrity of the guilds.
The command? /join goddessandlords (or whatever you make it)
Have fun!
Jackjeckel Dec 1st 2009 3:54PM
There already is a special channel for that but how often is it actually used? You see my point? I've seen drama come from all shapes and sizes i just think its a little far.