15 Minutes of Fame: Amazon grace, how sweet these guilds

Why would players want to play only with others just like themselves? Members of special interest guilds tell us their groups allow them to play away from others who either inadvertently or purposely seek to harass or offend. GLBT guilds, Christian guilds (scroll down to Recruiting) and similar groups offer a haven for players seeking a peaceful place to hang out with like-minded souls. This week, we look at a new group that offers not one, not two, but three special interest guilds. The Goddess guilds of Nesingwary and Winterhoof, along with a brother guild also on Nesingwary, welcomes females - actual, physical females, not female characters - with a friendly, events-focused environment. We visited with long-time gamer and Goddess guilds founder Myredd to find out why so many women appreciate playing in a females-only environment.

15 Minutes of Fame: What got you thinking about forming an all-female guild in the first place?
Myredd: With a severe case of altaholism, I have experienced a number of guilds on several servers. While every guild has drama at times, I began to notice that the kind of drama that broke guilds apart and the kind of behavior that disrupted my own enjoyment of the game seemed to come from male guildies - especially teen boys. Guild chat often disgusted me for its sexism, its arrogance, its intolerance. The best guilds I was part of were run by adult women, who seemed to take a greater interest in fostering cooperation, helpfulness and civility.
If you read discussion threads in groups of female WoW players, you'll see that we are not always treated well or respectfully in-game. As a female in a traditionally male profession (I'm clergy), I know how good it is to have a place where I can share with other women who know the special challenges we face.
All of that together made me think that for the often-derided demographic of female WoW players, a safe place might be welcome. As it turns out, it was.
How long have the Goddess guilds been running now?
Goddess of the Horde was formed on Nesingwary in March 2009 and has 224 members. Goddess (Alliance) was formed in Winterhoof on August 2009 and has 67 members. Each guild also has its own Facebook group.
What are the benefits of being in an all-female guild? How is the atmosphere different?
Many women just want a place where they don't have to listen to constant talk of what guys would like to do to their female toons, extensive talk of female body parts, and frequent use of "rape" as a general term for fun, in-game conquest. One of our guild members had been so burned that when one of us said, "Oh, I love my druid!", she said "Stop it! That's disgusting!" Then she remembered where she was and said, "Oh wait. This is an all-girl guild, right?" We said we were. "And there are no boys here?" Again we agreed. Then she loosened up.
Female players feel safe with us. We have some who have been victims of domestic abuse, and an all-female guild offers a place where they don't hear the kind of chat that triggers old wounds. There has been woman-to-woman help with relationship issues and other family concerns as well as a place where our talk of pregnancy, menopause and other women's issues don't have to be relegated to whispers. We get it.
Do you actually run things differently?My sense is that we are more social. We like to do just plain fun things together as well as questing and running instances. On the third Saturday of each month, the Goddess of the Horde guild celebrates guild birthdays by giving away gold to low-level players outside our guild. We hide in lowbie areas and each of us hands out 10g to the first person under level 20 to find us. When people ding 80 (thus earning the guild rank of "Goddess"), we gather in the Undercity courtyard and celebrate. We dress up in elegant clothes, share food and drink, turn each other into whatever someone has a wand for, roll for wrapped mystery gifts, shoot fireworks, throw paper zeppelins, show off our pets, and tell /silly jokes. We go heffalump jumping.
Are there drawbacks to being gender-segregated?
There are two main drawbacks that I've encountered so far. The first relates to female players who play with males they are close to in RL. Mostly it is husbands or significant others, but there are mothers who play with sons and women or girls who play with male friends. We have recently addressed that issue by having the husband of one of our guildies start a "brother" guild on Nesingwary, Lords of the Horde. We have a joint chat channel and run things together.
The other drawback is in recruiting. I have only rarely put out a general recruitment message in trade, because the trade chat trolls jump on an all-female guild like Alliance PvP players on The Crossroads. The instant assumptions have been: 1. I'm really a male pedophile looking for victims. 2. We're a lesbian guild. 3. We're Wiccans (because of the Goddess name). Depending on the reigning assumption, chat then degenerates from there. As the males in trade troll on, females will often whisper support to me. I usually don't engage the trolls except to thank them for showing everyone why an all-female guild is necessary.
The hassle and abuse from recruiting in trade means that 99% of recruiting is done by friends inviting friends, plugs I put on Facebook groups and forums, or by direct encounters and whispered conversations in-game. I often whisper unguilded female toons (a number of whom turn out to be RL males-especially BElves), but that means I miss women who roll male toons and all women currently in guilds who might be looking for something like us.
Do you find that the Goddess guilds have a different age demographic than other guilds?
Both guilds are mostly adult women. Our oldest member is 62 and there are several of us in middle age (I'm 50). There are also a number of young mothers, some of who play with their daughters. We have people across the age spectrum, but it is heavily weighted toward adults.

We have several partnered lesbians in the guild, quite a few with boyfriends or husbands, and a number who are single and I have no clue what their orientation is. The issue of sexual orientation doesn't enter into chat often, and it's not an issue for us unless we are defending a guildie who is being attacked outside of the guild. Intolerance for any group is not acceptable within the guild.
Do you require that applicants be the appropriate gender?
The first of our guild guidelines (posted on the website) is "Be a Female. This is a guild for real-life females. Your toons can be male or female, but we are a guild of women and girls. You don't have to submit DNA to join, but we will remove members who are discovered to be males. We don't dislike you guys, and we're more than happy to group with you, especially if your wife or GF is in the guild. But this is a guild for female players. Please respect that. Guys can be part of the action by joining our brother guild, Lords of the Horde."
Is being a "closet male" grounds for an automatic guild kick? Why have males tried to "sneak in" -- what have they sought to gain?
We do kick those we discover to be male. In some cases there seems to be genuine confusion about whether "all-female" means in real life or just the toon gender, and those we try to remove as gently as possible, encouraging them to join the Lords. Some have.
In other cases, however, there have been males (those teen boys again) who have overactive imaginations and think that chat in an all-female guild will be filled with the sexual secrets of women or otherwise be a turn-on. They say they are female to gain access to that fiction. The kind of person who does that usually has enough personality problems that issues surface and we discover their gender. They often cause major drama in revealing themselves as a male and in those cases kicking them becomes quite satisfying.
In a few cases, our closet males have made me sad. They are the social misfits that get bullied in school and are usually young boys looking to our guild for a mom. But caring for them would be a guild with a different mission than ours, so out they go. But again, we try to make their exit kind.
How have your members reacted to the all-female atmosphere?
What people say about our guild are:
- "It's so nice to be in a guild where the chat isn't all about body parts!"
- "I love being in a guild where I'm respected and not made fun of."
- "I really like being with other gals who share my interests."
- "Teen boys cause all the drama."
Since our Goddess of the Horde founding back in March, we've had three instances of drama. One was a 13-year old girl and we worked with her to improve her behavior. The other two turned out to be boys who then admitted their gender and quit the guild.
You sound as if you've got a steady hand and more than a few years of gaming under your belt.
I have been a PC gamer since Zork and did Pong, Space Invaders and other Atari console games before that. Yup, that would make me old. I've played Sims of all sorts, casual games, RTS games and adventure games, but RPGs have always been my favorite.
Anything else?
Having an all-female guild also means that we miss out on some of the really awesome guys we meet along the way, but our hope is that forming the Lords of the Horde will let us have the best of both worlds. We still don't have a brother guild for our Alliance guild on Winterhoof, as that guild is much newer and smaller, but I'm hopeful that the same opportunity will present itself there, too.
For more information on the Goddess and Lords guilds, visit Goddess of the Horde and Goddess of the Alliance.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, WoW Social Conventions, Virtual selves, Guilds, Features, Interviews, 15 Minutes of Fame
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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 6)
(cutaia) Dec 1st 2009 3:55PM
Druidski,
I could be wrong, but I thought the article said they had a chat channel set up.
Still...I find that I like talking about guild business with my fiancee, who's obviously in my guild. I like that when I say, "Hey, we got our last bank tab today," it actually means something to her.
Like I said, this gimmick is great for people who enjoy it, but I could see how the cross-guild chat wouldn't be enough for some people like myself.
Druidski Dec 1st 2009 4:27PM
So it would seem. Regardless, other guilds may benefit from this information.
blindlinus Dec 1st 2009 7:24PM
@ jack - i simply can't understand how you deal with it. i play with my gf and i can't imagine not being in the same guild. sure, we sit next to each other, so it's not like we have to type to communicate, but it makes it so much easier for one of us to alt-tab to look something up while still being able to read our own gchat on the other screen.
@ (cutaia) - i'm with you 100%. avoiding drama is great, but the fact that they are unwilling to waver on the "female only" for RL exceptions really does make it more of a gimmick guild.
i am in a wonderful guild. we are all supportive of each other, we all donate and withdraw from the gbank, we are all very friendly and mature. it's basically run by a bunch of family members and consists of people that have been invited because they are family, RL friends, or long time in-game friends. they key point to this is that there is almost no drama besides simple personality clashes and there are almost no children/people that act like children in the guild... not a coincidence.
@ myredd - please don't take this an an attempt to be inflammatory, derogatory, or a troll in any way, i'm merely stating my opinion on this: i think you need to go read this interview from an outside perspective. it seems to me that you are as sexist as the people you are trying to avoid. i'm sorry to be so blunt, but the fact that you cannot allow exceptions to the rule for husbands and boyfriends and respectful adult males really grates against me. just turn it around and think if there was a male only guild with their reasoning being that "girls generally whine and cause drama." it would sound *really* dumb. if you look at your response to the question about the amount of drama two things should immediately pop out at you: 1) the people who cause drama were all younger (teen boys AND girls alike) 2) you were willing to talk to the younger girl about her behavior and give her a bit of room to become more mature while can't you even manage to admit the male significant others of your female players... people that probably wouldn't ever need a talking to or a warning of any kind.
if you want a female only guild because you want to avoid the male influence and attitudes that's fine, but don't act like derogatory language, sexism, harassment and drama are a product of having males in the guild or that girls are above this kind of behavior either. you state your guild is a safe-haven for the female WoW-player, but who would be hurt if you let people's husbands and boyfriends in? not a single soul. besides, there's always gkick if it comes down to it.
and finally, i think an article about "special interests" guilds should have the spotlight on actual special interests as they were vaguely mentioned before the break. not a guild whose only special interest is what gender you are. seems a special interest guild would be a bit smaller demographic than ~50% of the population.
vinniedcleaner Dec 1st 2009 7:58PM
@(cutaia)
I agree with you totally about this being a gimmick, and the gimmick is "hey look, we're a bunch of misandrists and we want everyone to pay attention to us." Their argument that the reason for being 'all female' is to avoid the drama caused by teenage boys is weak. If that is what they were concerned with, then they could craete a non restricted guild and just /gkick ANYONE who caused 'drama'.
I've seen a lot of women called out in Guildwatch who caused drama but let a group of men try and start a 'men only' guild based on that fact and see how much grief they get.
OIK2 Dec 2nd 2009 3:25AM
Why not make a cross guild chat channel?
Murdock Dec 1st 2009 3:20PM
This is a cool idea and sounds like a nice guild and good setup. Congrats to you all on a strong guild and what sound like fun times.
I have to wonder though, do people just randomly join guilds? Before I applied to my current guild of the last 4 years, I talked to members, asked around, etc. Hearing these stories of the "teen boys" drama and guild chat filled with "sexism, its arrogance, its intolerance" makes me wonder if people look into the guilds they are joining. Some of the teens in my guild (male and female) have been the most mature and respectful players I've met. I know those others are out there, I just choose not to associate with them or their guilds.
RetadinMan Dec 1st 2009 3:23PM
Exactly.
Age ≠ Maturity
Kylenne Dec 1st 2009 4:35PM
The problem is that issues like that are sometimes not immediately apparent when checking out a guild. I've seen 18+ guilds with respect clauses in their charters foster hostile atmospheres toward certain groups, or dogpile someone that pointed out that something wasn't cool.
Sadly, the only way to really know a guild's atmosphere is to join it and stick around for a bit.
clundgren Dec 1st 2009 5:10PM
Sounds like a great guild. My own main is in a guild that doesn't have a gender restriction, but does have an age restriction (19+), so I can kind of relate. Most teen players are awesome, but there are a vocal minority who can cause a lot of drama, we've found. Of course, this can be true of adults too, but not as often.
"The other drawback is in recruiting. I have only rarely put out a general recruitment message in trade, because the trade chat trolls jump on an all-female guild like Alliance PvP players on The Crossroads. The instant assumptions have been: 1. I'm really a male pedophile looking for victims. 2. We're a lesbian guild. 3. We're Wiccans (because of the Goddess name). Depending on the reigning assumption, chat then degenerates from there. As the males in trade troll on, females will often whisper support to me. I usually don't engage the trolls except to thank them for showing everyone why an all-female guild is necessary."
I'm waiting for the trolls to show up on this thread and further confirm her point.
Mordockk Dec 1st 2009 3:29PM
Sooooo, are you girls single?
Hanfyren152 Dec 1st 2009 3:31PM
Why all this rage directed to teenagers? Please don't judge them all at the experience of some bad peps.
-16 Year old.
Hëx Dec 1st 2009 4:45PM
Unfortunately the same thing that gives humans the ability to learn over the course of many years, neoteny, also slows the development of the brain so that boys and girls mature at different ages. I have seen as high as 24 years for boys, I know for myself I was quite a risk taker until at least 19. In some ways biology puts hurdles in the way of full emotional and psychological development.
Don't take my word for it, I'm just a reasonably well read guy with an interest in how this stuff works. I would recommend everyone read The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris (and if you like it the followup The Human Zoo), while a bit dated it's still an excellent work on how our evolution effects our bodies and society.
Tyr Dec 1st 2009 3:35PM
It's a good idea and I'm glad it's working out well, but I think it's too bad that these kind of guilds are necessary...
Scritch Dec 1st 2009 3:51PM
My guild is a special interests guild. You will find the Alliance guild 'Infinite Asylum' (http://infiniteasylum.guildportal.com) on 'The Scryers' server. IA is specifically designed for adult players who are looking for a completely uncensored environment, free from obligations of raiding.
If you're interested, take a look at our website to learn more about us. Applying is a simple cut and paste application. If you have any questions, you can happily roll a new toon and ask any member in game.
Grats to the 15 minutes of fame guild :)
Take care!
Pestle-The Scryers
Graylo Dec 1st 2009 3:53PM
It’s funny to me how some forms of blatant sexism are more socially acceptable, if not out right celebrated. How is this any different then a guild not admitting women? How is saying “teenage boys cause all the drama,” any different then saying “women cause all the drama?”
I can completely understand wanting to be in an environment where you feel respected and aren’t subjected to conversations you find offensive. We all want to play with people that we can relate to and make a connection with. That desire has resulted in many specialized guilds across many servers. The Gay/Lesbian guilds that WoW.com covered in the past are a prime examples. You have to be sensitive to Gay/Lesbian issues to be a member, and that has resulted in a primarily gay/lesbian membership. However, they do have some straight members for what ever reason.
I’m happy for Myredd and the other members of Goddess’s that have found a guild that provides them the type of environment they want to play in. However, I hope they realize that they are no better then the people they proclaim they are trying to avoid. They have judged an entire population based upon the actions of a few. If that is not sexism then I don’t know what is.
sarkune Dec 1st 2009 4:02PM
That was pretty much my assessment of things. Exclusionary guilds are always problematic.
Magma Dec 1st 2009 4:17PM
I agree with this and was going to post something similar.
"What people say about our guild are:
1. "It's so nice to be in a guild where the chat isn't all about body parts!"
2. "I love being in a guild where I'm respected and not made fun of."
3. "I really like being with other gals who share my interests."
4. "Teen boys cause all the drama." "
1.Being a girl does not mean guys will be like lolboobs and such just because a girl is around. Body jokes get made regardless of the gender present, If you think that is immature, I'm sure I could easily find something you always discuss that is equally immature. (Such as number 4)
2. Like all human beings, some are better people than others. Just because a guy might jokingly say to you "lol you cant play for crap" I'd be willing to bet he ribs his male buddies just as much, no gender discrimination there. Remember, For every guy who -truly- thinks females can't play there will always be a female who thinks she can kick every guy's ass, disregarding whether she is that good or not. (The same mindset, not gender based)
3. I'm not even sure what this has to do with being a female. Everyone loves being around those with common interests.
4. This statement is sexist in itself, and might I add, I've found age isn't really a good factor for determining things, especially if you look at real life. I bet you would find less mature girls than you would boys. (Not physically, but emotionally).
clundgren Dec 1st 2009 5:19PM
In an ideal world, this post and the immediate replies would be absolutely correct.
Unfortunately, we live in the real world, where, sad to say, racist, sexist, and homophobic attitudes are common, so that folks who want to avoid them have to take proactive measures. Like this guild.
To say that forming an all-female guild is "exactly the same" as those attitudes is missing the point completely.
Fierna Dec 1st 2009 10:02PM
I don't think this is really sexism - a lot of women just feel better and safer in an all-female space. They can unwind in a way that they cannot if they are around a lot of guys (even respectful ones).
zappo Dec 2nd 2009 10:38AM
I agree with Fierna, this is more like taking refuge then being exclusionary (well I think anyway). I've been mistaken for a girl by playing a female toon, and made the BIG mistake of not clarifying I was a guy right away and it was a really eye opening experience. There is so much baggage you get just by being a female playing this game it's not even funny. So I think I could understand trying to get away from that, even if it means sort of absurd rules to get it that way.