15 Minutes of Fame: Amazon grace, how sweet these guilds

Why would players want to play only with others just like themselves? Members of special interest guilds tell us their groups allow them to play away from others who either inadvertently or purposely seek to harass or offend. GLBT guilds, Christian guilds (scroll down to Recruiting) and similar groups offer a haven for players seeking a peaceful place to hang out with like-minded souls. This week, we look at a new group that offers not one, not two, but three special interest guilds. The Goddess guilds of Nesingwary and Winterhoof, along with a brother guild also on Nesingwary, welcomes females - actual, physical females, not female characters - with a friendly, events-focused environment. We visited with long-time gamer and Goddess guilds founder Myredd to find out why so many women appreciate playing in a females-only environment.

15 Minutes of Fame: What got you thinking about forming an all-female guild in the first place?
Myredd: With a severe case of altaholism, I have experienced a number of guilds on several servers. While every guild has drama at times, I began to notice that the kind of drama that broke guilds apart and the kind of behavior that disrupted my own enjoyment of the game seemed to come from male guildies - especially teen boys. Guild chat often disgusted me for its sexism, its arrogance, its intolerance. The best guilds I was part of were run by adult women, who seemed to take a greater interest in fostering cooperation, helpfulness and civility.
If you read discussion threads in groups of female WoW players, you'll see that we are not always treated well or respectfully in-game. As a female in a traditionally male profession (I'm clergy), I know how good it is to have a place where I can share with other women who know the special challenges we face.
All of that together made me think that for the often-derided demographic of female WoW players, a safe place might be welcome. As it turns out, it was.
How long have the Goddess guilds been running now?
Goddess of the Horde was formed on Nesingwary in March 2009 and has 224 members. Goddess (Alliance) was formed in Winterhoof on August 2009 and has 67 members. Each guild also has its own Facebook group.
What are the benefits of being in an all-female guild? How is the atmosphere different?
Many women just want a place where they don't have to listen to constant talk of what guys would like to do to their female toons, extensive talk of female body parts, and frequent use of "rape" as a general term for fun, in-game conquest. One of our guild members had been so burned that when one of us said, "Oh, I love my druid!", she said "Stop it! That's disgusting!" Then she remembered where she was and said, "Oh wait. This is an all-girl guild, right?" We said we were. "And there are no boys here?" Again we agreed. Then she loosened up.
Female players feel safe with us. We have some who have been victims of domestic abuse, and an all-female guild offers a place where they don't hear the kind of chat that triggers old wounds. There has been woman-to-woman help with relationship issues and other family concerns as well as a place where our talk of pregnancy, menopause and other women's issues don't have to be relegated to whispers. We get it.
Do you actually run things differently?My sense is that we are more social. We like to do just plain fun things together as well as questing and running instances. On the third Saturday of each month, the Goddess of the Horde guild celebrates guild birthdays by giving away gold to low-level players outside our guild. We hide in lowbie areas and each of us hands out 10g to the first person under level 20 to find us. When people ding 80 (thus earning the guild rank of "Goddess"), we gather in the Undercity courtyard and celebrate. We dress up in elegant clothes, share food and drink, turn each other into whatever someone has a wand for, roll for wrapped mystery gifts, shoot fireworks, throw paper zeppelins, show off our pets, and tell /silly jokes. We go heffalump jumping.
Are there drawbacks to being gender-segregated?
There are two main drawbacks that I've encountered so far. The first relates to female players who play with males they are close to in RL. Mostly it is husbands or significant others, but there are mothers who play with sons and women or girls who play with male friends. We have recently addressed that issue by having the husband of one of our guildies start a "brother" guild on Nesingwary, Lords of the Horde. We have a joint chat channel and run things together.
The other drawback is in recruiting. I have only rarely put out a general recruitment message in trade, because the trade chat trolls jump on an all-female guild like Alliance PvP players on The Crossroads. The instant assumptions have been: 1. I'm really a male pedophile looking for victims. 2. We're a lesbian guild. 3. We're Wiccans (because of the Goddess name). Depending on the reigning assumption, chat then degenerates from there. As the males in trade troll on, females will often whisper support to me. I usually don't engage the trolls except to thank them for showing everyone why an all-female guild is necessary.
The hassle and abuse from recruiting in trade means that 99% of recruiting is done by friends inviting friends, plugs I put on Facebook groups and forums, or by direct encounters and whispered conversations in-game. I often whisper unguilded female toons (a number of whom turn out to be RL males-especially BElves), but that means I miss women who roll male toons and all women currently in guilds who might be looking for something like us.
Do you find that the Goddess guilds have a different age demographic than other guilds?
Both guilds are mostly adult women. Our oldest member is 62 and there are several of us in middle age (I'm 50). There are also a number of young mothers, some of who play with their daughters. We have people across the age spectrum, but it is heavily weighted toward adults.

We have several partnered lesbians in the guild, quite a few with boyfriends or husbands, and a number who are single and I have no clue what their orientation is. The issue of sexual orientation doesn't enter into chat often, and it's not an issue for us unless we are defending a guildie who is being attacked outside of the guild. Intolerance for any group is not acceptable within the guild.
Do you require that applicants be the appropriate gender?
The first of our guild guidelines (posted on the website) is "Be a Female. This is a guild for real-life females. Your toons can be male or female, but we are a guild of women and girls. You don't have to submit DNA to join, but we will remove members who are discovered to be males. We don't dislike you guys, and we're more than happy to group with you, especially if your wife or GF is in the guild. But this is a guild for female players. Please respect that. Guys can be part of the action by joining our brother guild, Lords of the Horde."
Is being a "closet male" grounds for an automatic guild kick? Why have males tried to "sneak in" -- what have they sought to gain?
We do kick those we discover to be male. In some cases there seems to be genuine confusion about whether "all-female" means in real life or just the toon gender, and those we try to remove as gently as possible, encouraging them to join the Lords. Some have.
In other cases, however, there have been males (those teen boys again) who have overactive imaginations and think that chat in an all-female guild will be filled with the sexual secrets of women or otherwise be a turn-on. They say they are female to gain access to that fiction. The kind of person who does that usually has enough personality problems that issues surface and we discover their gender. They often cause major drama in revealing themselves as a male and in those cases kicking them becomes quite satisfying.
In a few cases, our closet males have made me sad. They are the social misfits that get bullied in school and are usually young boys looking to our guild for a mom. But caring for them would be a guild with a different mission than ours, so out they go. But again, we try to make their exit kind.
How have your members reacted to the all-female atmosphere?
What people say about our guild are:
- "It's so nice to be in a guild where the chat isn't all about body parts!"
- "I love being in a guild where I'm respected and not made fun of."
- "I really like being with other gals who share my interests."
- "Teen boys cause all the drama."
Since our Goddess of the Horde founding back in March, we've had three instances of drama. One was a 13-year old girl and we worked with her to improve her behavior. The other two turned out to be boys who then admitted their gender and quit the guild.
You sound as if you've got a steady hand and more than a few years of gaming under your belt.
I have been a PC gamer since Zork and did Pong, Space Invaders and other Atari console games before that. Yup, that would make me old. I've played Sims of all sorts, casual games, RTS games and adventure games, but RPGs have always been my favorite.
Anything else?
Having an all-female guild also means that we miss out on some of the really awesome guys we meet along the way, but our hope is that forming the Lords of the Horde will let us have the best of both worlds. We still don't have a brother guild for our Alliance guild on Winterhoof, as that guild is much newer and smaller, but I'm hopeful that the same opportunity will present itself there, too.
For more information on the Goddess and Lords guilds, visit Goddess of the Horde and Goddess of the Alliance.
Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, WoW Social Conventions, Virtual selves, Guilds, Features, Interviews, 15 Minutes of Fame
Patch 5.3 interview with Ghostcrawler
Mystery of the Unborn Val'kyr
The latest patch 5.3 news
All of the latest Mists of Pandaria news





Reader Comments (Page 5 of 6)
trilobite Dec 1st 2009 11:28PM
I don't really think they're trying to be anti-male here. I don't think the point of this guild is really to exclude men. I think that what they're trying to do is make a space where they can be around other women and talk about girl stuff without feeling awkward, if they feel like it.
In other words, it's not that there are "no boys allowed" it's that there are "only girls allowed."
However I'm still annoyed at how Myredd blames most drama on "male guildies--especially teen boys." That IS sexist. I've known WoW women who've caused drama, and teen boys who have been respectful and undramatic (in fact, I WAS one when I first started playing WoW! I've "leveled up" since then though). Of course men are going to be causing the most drama on WoW...for better or for worse we're most of the player base.
I think what I'm trying to say here is that I don't really mind what I think seems to be the guild's attitude (we're women who enjoy playing with other women) but I have a problem with Myredd's (men are jerks who cause drama, and I don't want them around, even if they're people's IRL friends, husbands, brothers, or sons).
tsan_rhilin Dec 1st 2009 11:44PM
It's sad to say, but an irl friend/husband/brother/son does not necessarily equal "safe". Plenty of my feminist friends of mine fight uphill battles trying to teaching their sons not to be sexist. Plenty of my feminist friends are shocked when their husbands express surprise that they find something demeaning. They're not necessarily causing drama, but they may not be fostering a comfortable space by being there.
And this is leisure time for the women in the guild. They don't want to fight the uphill battle of explaining why they find something objectionable. They don't want to get blindsided by something triggering. They don't want to have to waste energy figuring out if someone is generally on their side or baiting them for a laugh.
Is it sad that the only way to do that is make a space completely female-only? Yeah. Sexism hurts everyone.
trilobite Dec 2nd 2009 12:15AM
@tsahn_rhilin
It was kind of my point that I was okay with the guild wanting to make a women-only space for themselves. In real life men and women do this all the time--sometimes you just want to have a girls night out, or go play poker with the guys. There's nothing wrong with it.
What I'm not okay with is the attitude that men automatically cause drama just by being male and the only way to enjoy WoW as a woman is to play in a female-only guild.
The GM even admits that they've had trouble with a female member, trouble bad enough that they had to "work with her to improve her behavior."
In other words, banning men from the guild didn't keep the drama away. I'd like to think that most of the guild members don't have the same "men are evil and cause drama" attitude you have and instead play in the guild simply because they enjoy playing with other women and having a space to relax and be social with each other.
Glossy Dec 2nd 2009 1:06AM
Daughters OfThe Horde and Daughters OfThe Alliance are two more all-female guilds on Bronzebeard (US) that've existed since...oh, lord. 2005, probably?? :) Apparently not as well known or at least as well publicized, but I do think guilds like this are a great asset for female players. It's simply...a different environment from playing with guys.
No, it doesn't get rid of all drama, but that's not the point. The point is also not to be a feminist man-hating Amazon. In Daughters we had chat channels that included male friends/significant others, and we weren't adverse to grouping with them either. A few of my favorite people to joke around with were husbands of guildies, in fact.
I really don't see the point of all the wank and drama here. Does an all-female guild deeply offend your sensibilties - to the point of feeling the need to post rants on the internet? If so, you may have some issues of your own to deal with.
Amritrao Dec 2nd 2009 7:45AM
Please forgive me, but I really think that last paragraph is a cop out. What your saying is, "If you don't agree with me 100% you have some sort of problem so shut up".
While there are most definitely assholes out there, there are also a lot of nice, respectful, considerate guys who are surprised to find that they are excluded from a guild based solely on the existence of dangly bits between their legs. If they voice this surprise as irritation, you can't really blame them. You've lumped them into the category with the assholes out there who think rape "jokes" are funny.
And while women have been dealing with being lumped into categories for millennia, it wasn't these particular guys who were doing it, so you might appreciate their surprise, no matter how justified the need or desire for gender-based guilds.
Might I add that I belong to an enormous LGBT-friendly guild. It describes itself as and functions as a guild for the LGBT communities as well as allies. The allies would be straight folks. While there is admittedly frequent minor drama, the inclusion of allies in the guild fosters a much more open and understanding atmosphere rather than the kind of ghettoisation in gender-based guilds that reinforces stereotypes among the membership that I perceive in both the GM's comments and yours.
Ezence Dec 2nd 2009 6:56AM
It does seem as though this isn't the best way to avoid confrontation with ignorant and immature players. I'm a little upset that because I'm male I have no chance of joining your guild (not that I don't enjoy my own!). In comparison, what if ethnic monitories decided they've had enough of racism, a -insert skin color/ethnic origin here- person only guild?
I must admit, it does seem as though all men have been branded as potential problems by this guild and its sad to see. That said, I wish you all the luck, and hope that one day you will open your doors again to the majority of men that have respect for women.
mad_man_jojo2 Dec 2nd 2009 7:49AM
As a teenage male, I find this quite offensive. That you would generalise us all as if there were no differences between us. What if someone made an all male guild? I'm willing to bet most of you would feel offended.
You say you dislike sexism. So you are countering it with more sexism? Good going.
Bobmcbob Dec 6th 2009 4:57PM
They have, and though I do not support DotA/DotH for their "Teen boys cause all the drama" statement, otherwise I don't mind these kinds of guilds. It's fine to be in the whole "sisterhood" or "brotherhood" thing, it just doesn't mean that you have to resort to name-calling. http://keredria.blogspot.com/2009/11/good-wtf-and-bad-wtf.html + http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2j_d3CsMeL8/Su8m6mg42YI/AAAAAAAAAq4/HZlCRmSqgik/s1600-h/no+chicks+allowed.png
Mau Dec 2nd 2009 7:58AM
Who talks about rape in guild chat?! That's disgusting
dan17uk Dec 2nd 2009 8:19AM
Is a female only guild complaining about sexism? double standards much.
""Teen boys cause all the drama.""
Implying Teen girls don't cause 10000x more drama than any 1 boy could.
Ozzard Dec 2nd 2009 8:21AM
Far too many people, generally as a word taken completely out of its original context. I've taken a guildies aside and talked to them about comments such as "lol im lvl52 i juszt raped a 57 priest with his pvp flag on pwned n00b". As I run a supportive social guild, they generally get it; the few who don't eventually leave or (rarely) get gkicked.
Blayze Dec 2nd 2009 8:06AM
I'm actually surprised the phrase "a real man would" hasn't been used yet -- or perhaps it has, and I just didn't notice. Ah well.
I've seen a few replies here about how we men apparently don't understand that we have all the power. That's *funny*, I always thought it was the rich and powerful who had all the power. I'm working-class, I'm going to have to dispute any claims that I have any sort of power at all.
It's not as if I can use the magical rape powers I get from being a man to oppress women (Or my Ultra Whitey Laser Beam Vision to oppress everyone from blacks to Jews), since they don't exist. Granted, many women look at men they pass on the street like they're going to be raped by them -- but I'd hazard a guess that just as many men are sick of being stared at as if we're rapists.
I know I'm one of them, and I'm sick and tired of responses to my arguments amounting to "You're a man, your argument is automatically invalid."
Rei Dec 2nd 2009 8:27AM
Sorry but sexism, racism, segregation, and discrimination is bad no matter the excuse. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, black or white you should treat people how you'd want to be treated and any group that throws gross generalizations over an entire race or sex should try seeing it from the other side. Saying that every is automatically is ignorance in its purest form. Any group that thinks like that is no better than the people they're supposedly trying to get away from and it's disappointing to see it so highly praised on wowinsider.
Wsoran Dec 2nd 2009 8:33AM
My guild consists of both male and female players
we never talk of women in a sexist or derogatory manner, we still have guild drama but thats mostly about someone ninja'ed my loot or I was kicked unfairly from his group we are on a role-play sever I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it
But I do like the idea of a haven for women to stay in there are some horrible people in this game
vanye111 Dec 2nd 2009 8:49AM
I am very grateful (as a man) that my guild (The Fancy Pants Brigade, Thrall-US) seems to be far more mature than so many. Maybe it's because we only have two teens (my stepson, and someone else), and one preteen (my step-nephew).
Axilla Dec 2nd 2009 9:55AM
What I don't understand is why people are harping on the "teenage boys" comment. Yes, it's immature and stereotyping, but I'm sure that's what some people in the guild think -- not that it's the entire purpose of the guild. A big portion of the article was devoted to the point that some women in the guild feel safer, feel more comfortable playing this way, and want to be there. There's nothing wrong with that, particularly when you factor in that some of these women have been the victims of domestic or sexual abuse. That goes beyond "Tee-hee, teenage boys cause drama!" That is a real and legitimate reason for these women to be frightened, and to be happy they have found a place that keeps them safe.
Does your top-notch raiding guild have an "80s only" recruitment requirement? Isn't this because your guild has a set purpose, and by defining your recruitment, you can find members who will be best fit what you're looking for -- what you define as an enjoyable experience?
If you are uncomfortable with you SO or son or husband not being in the guild, the answer is simple: don't join. I wouldn't join an 80 raiding guild that wouldn't let my leveling husband join. But the best part of WoW is that those people are free to do their thing, and I'm free to do mine; no one's making me join.
Snuffey Dec 2nd 2009 11:08AM
I am a male who believes there is nothing wrong with having an all female or an all male guild. I can especially understand if you were a parent of all teenage sons or daughters. When your a parent its hard to find the time to have an all male or all female nite out. Joining such a guild would give you the time to have that kind of interaction where you don't have to act a certain way. I have been in guilds with an atmosphere all raunchified (yay i made a new word) and I never stay long it just gets old fast. That's the #1 reason I turn off every chat channel I can.
But I think I would soon miss having the varied interactions I do with a guild with both genders. My guild has a number of female players and would and do miss them if they leave. I would hope that if I say something that makes someone whether male or female uncomfortable they would let me know.
Atara Dec 2nd 2009 1:26PM
I can appreciate the comments from those who feel this is just another form of sexism. I understand that. But I can accept this guild as women who'd honestly prefer to just be with each other, I'm not so sure that the bit about 'we're hiding from the teenage males' need be the reason for the guild forming, why can't it simply be 'we're women who'd like to play together'?
It's like any professional group specifically aimed to one group or the other...when's the last time you saw a female shriner or mason? Any profession will have an all women group, a group of female lawyers who gather together, or a group of female doctors who meet on a regular basis, and those typically 'all male' clubs like the Shriners or what have you also have their 'all female' counterparts. It would likely be better for the group to simply be 'female gamers who like to hang out together' rather than 'female gamers who are hiding from the evils of mixed guilds and blame the drama in those guilds on men'.
I do have to feel though, that the men who are complaining about the women having an exclusive club house are a little like those who sued because Hooters wasn't hiring men as waiters or that the Rockettes are all women. 'Gimmick' groups have their place, too.
james Dec 5th 2009 10:55AM
Just as an aside, I joined the Christian guild [H] - Ghostlands - after reading this post and have found them to be an absolutely wonderful, welcoming group of people.
If you're a Christian who plays WoW (or even if you're not, there's no faith requirement to join, just a majority of the members are Christians) and you're looking for a casual, family-friendly guild, you should definitely come check us out.
james Dec 5th 2009 10:57AM
Weird, the guild name got filtered out. Anyway, it's called The Fish and Bread Trick. Just do a /who for us; anyone from the guild will be happy to talk with you. :)