Drama Mamas: A moment of silence, please
by Lisa Poisso 
Dec 11th 2009 at 7:00PM
Been devouring all the articles at WoW.com designed to help you dig into this week's new content patch? Obviously, we have too -- but not everyone feels that way. There are quite a few players out there who'd like nothing more than to work their own way through the new content in a little peace and quiet.
Dear Drama Mamas: I've been really enjoying the new content that came out a few days ago, now that instances are actually available to run. But I've encountered a problem that has bothered me ever since WoW started releasing patches. One of my favorite things about WoW is the story and the discovery of an unfolding plot. This new expansion has great story elements, from the raid to the new five-mans. Having been a member of my guild from patch 1.5 or so, I've been through thick and thin with the group. I am a regular guy with a standard job and normal demands of a social life. So perhaps I can't play quite as much as some others, which leads me to hit content hours to days later than some of my guildmates.
Just like watching a movie, I enjoy watching the plot develop and discovering my own strategies to boss fights. But I seem to not be able to convey this to guildmates, and any attempts to insulate myself from unsolicited advice and "helpful guildmates" is met with confusion and astonishment. I have very clearly stated how I like to enjoy new content and have asked for people to respect my wishes. I certainly understand I can't prevent giddiness in guild chat or chatting over Vent.
But my filtering out of guild chat (along with a statement that I can be reached by whisper or Vent) and my near-constant requests for guildmates to stop offering advice while I am running something really seems to offend my guild. I get cutting remarks about not being social and frustrated comments about how they are just trying to help. I don't know how to explain it any more clearly to them, and I have not asked them to converse amongst themselves as normal ... Am I missing something? Do I just need to /ignore the chatty ones for a week? Am I justified in wanting to see the content in the way I want? What hurts even more is that I am made to defend myself on every content patch ... It's like all the explanation before has fallen on deaf ears. I just want a week of peace. Is that asking too much? Signed, Krabork
Drama Mama Lisa: It's not that you're blind to the solution, Krabork -- it's that you'd simply like to run your content blind. Going into new content free of spoilers and strategies seems to have gone the way of the dodo for most WoW players. By persisting in playing through new content in discovery and exploration mode, you've chosen a path that confuses many and annoys others.
As Scott Andrews explained to a reluctant blind raider in his Officers Quarters column, going into any new content blind requires the explicit agreement and cooperation of the entire group. Even one "non-blind" player in a group can spoil the entire story or reveal the big gotcha with one careless remark. But beyond that, there are the feelings of the "spoilerites" to consider, as well. They may crave knowing how the story ends. They may want to progress as quickly and painlessly as possible. Repeated wipes may wipe their spirits. They may be unwilling or unable to move forward without the comforting hand of a tried-and-true strategy. There are all sorts of reasons to chatter excitedly about the very details you are striving so diligently to avoid -- and all of those reasons are equally as valid to them as your own approach is to you.
You've already seen that this philosophical difference is a recurring issue for you and your guildmates. What makes the situation even more problematic is the prospect of all the additional content and the expansion still ahead. I don't see the situation improving, Krabork. All signs point to making this your opportunity to hook up with a more compatible group.
What about a guild that takes things at a slower rate? If they're not gobbling down content, they won't be constantly "ahead" of you. Consider a roleplaying guild, where /ooc talk is discouraged. Or you could go all the way and try to find (or create) a blind content guild -- plenty of players avoid blind play like the plague, but plenty of others relish the challenge and excitement it can offer. Consider the change an investment in your gaming future. Good luck, and may the road rise up to meet you!
Drama Mama Robin: Krabork, you are asking too much of your current guild. It's actually really unfair and unreasonable to insist that your teammates not discuss strategies and interesting plot lines and speculate about future developments. Most players consider this good guild chat. I'm not saying that it's unreasonable to want to play your way, however. In fact, the Blizzard developers most certainly wish that everyone played blind to really appreciate their hard work, not to mention make the content last longer.
It's kind of like you are trying to play in single player RPG mode, with the other players as NPCs -- annoyed NPCs who send you tells. Though many also use guides for single-player games as well, I agree with you that the exploration and development of strategies is more fun when you do it yourself. WoW is a multiplayer game, however, and there is absolutely no way to control the actions of other players -- no matter how often you beg, plea or demand. When you enter an instance, you are agreeing to play by the team rules and, as Scott and Lisa have said, the entire team has to agree to play the instance blind.
Leave your guild immediately and start shopping for a blind content guild. You will almost definitely have to move servers. Start your search in the forums of roleplaying realms and don't stop until you find a group of people who agree with you. You have some time before the next expansion -- uh, Krabork, don't go to that link; it will spoil things for you -- and you should be able to find a good guild that also wants to play the new content innocently.
Perhaps our readers can recommend the right home for you in the comments. Good luck!
Drama Buster of the Week
Make no mistake: WoW is "real life." Talk to others in trite, dismissive cliches much? Ugh. If you talk with people, not at them, and treat them the way you would treat people in any public setting -- no hiding behind "it's just the internet" -- you'll find that they react to you in a much more genuine, personal and enjoyable way.
Remember, your mama wouldn't want to see your name on any drama. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, WoW Social Conventions, Features, Drama Mamas
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
Barinthos Dec 11th 2009 7:07PM
If you choose to disassociate yourself with your guild to the point of having them needing to whisper you to get a hold of you what's the point of being in the guild?
The point of a guild, other than to have people to converse with, is to progress through content, help others and provide insight into the game's content.
Choosing to ignore all of those really doesn't seem like you're ready for a guild at all IMO.
Broken_toes Dec 12th 2009 12:44AM
Rubbish, if spoilers are coming from gchat then all he has to do is say "im turning off gchat I wanna run this stuff blind, /w me if you need me."
Don't see how thats a big deal.
Course running into a raid blind is a bit silly, and not really fair on the ones who know tactics. If its 5 man why should he have it spoiled.
You really don't need to have gchat on, turning it off ain't a crime, tbh some guildies talk as much crap as you'd find in trade.
Avan Dec 11th 2009 7:15PM
A group of guildmates and I ran the new heroics blind. We quickly picked up on all of the nuances of the boss fights and trash pulls, and one-shotted our way to Halls of Reflection. After three wipes on the first boss, I made a careful observation (while dead), "What if we stand over there?"
So we get to the last fight in HoR, and the server crashes everytime at one specific point, so we had to call it. Next day when the servers are stable, we try again. One of our guys casually mentions how the fight ends. Thanks, Death Knight. There goes all of the suspense and surprise. Screw you and enjoy your Quel'Serrar along with the five other [ilvl 232] weapons you rolled need on.
TL;DR:
Pacts of silence should always be made explicitly clear, and constantly brought up so one doesn't casually ruin the experience if they "forgot, lol"
adam_johnson Dec 11th 2009 7:22PM
i think you mean Quel'Delar. Quel'Serrar drops off of Onyxia i thought.
Daniel Dec 11th 2009 7:17PM
The real irony here is that he's complaining that his guild won't accept him for who he is when he steadfastly--for years-- has refused to accept who his guild mates are. Neither party is right or wrong. But they are incompatible.
There is a reason for divorce called "irreconcilable differences". Stop complaining and move on; you are not going to convert them.
Dwuffy Dec 11th 2009 7:16PM
I think you guys missed the part where he said it was only the week after the patch that he had problems with his guild. Asking someone to leave a bunch of friends because 2 or 3 weeks out of the year they don't click is a bit overboard. I'd suggest just putting the chatty nancies on ignore for the week. If you have a guild forum, just post in it saying why, and that you'll be back to normal in a week.
Daniel Dec 11th 2009 7:21PM
Not really. If it bugs him so much that he has to write to Drama Mamas about it then it's a big deal for him. While ignoring his guidlies for a week slides him though, it doesn't address the underlying problem which is that he doesn't respect them and they don't respect him.
frozndevl Dec 11th 2009 7:37PM
@Daniel - What his writing into DM says is that he has concerns and wants to make sure that he isn't being unreasonable. We all get a lil "butt-hurt" sometimes and it helps to have an objective third party to give an insight.
I think the second response up above was vast overkill, unless it's sarcasm and then it wasn't very good sarcasm. This is a very rich lore area and if someone was able to keep in the same guild for several years, it can handle a couple of weeks of one person not being in guild very much. Hell, if you went on vacation they'd see none of you, so what's the big deal? Saying someone should leave after a week of having some issues is like saying I don't like this TV show, so I'm going to sell my TV and only ever read books again. Cutting off your nose to spite your face, etc..
Procrastinator Dec 11th 2009 7:17PM
I have to respect a guy who doesn't get caught up in the mad rush to get through content and max out as quickly as possible.
That being said, Bruce Willis is a ghost the whole movie.
rasheman123 Dec 11th 2009 9:41PM
Ah! You ruined it! /facepalm
Just kidding.
Joey2250 Dec 12th 2009 2:33AM
It was his sled. It was his sled from when he was a kid. There, I just saved you two long boobless hours.
Tenko Dec 12th 2009 7:41AM
You konw, HE was his father?
PocketFox Dec 12th 2009 4:18PM
The boat sinks!
Deadly. Off. Topic. Dec 14th 2009 10:59AM
lol!
Tash Dec 11th 2009 7:30PM
I must say, not being guilded at the moment has been great for this patch for me. I decided to take a crapshoot and run the Heroic 5-mans with no prior knowledge of anything more than the bosses names in FoS, and it was the most fun I've had in awhile.
On the topic of this post, I agree most with Lisa's idea of finding/creating a "blind" guild. Could be lots of fun if you like all the surprises (and wipes.)
frozndevl Dec 11th 2009 7:39PM
I agree whole-heartedly with this statement. I am a voracious reader of online content and I am a bit bummed that I know how some of the fights go. Luckily, I haven't researched the fights at all, so they are still challenging as we learn.
RetPallyJil Dec 11th 2009 7:34PM
I feel your pain; I think my friends and guildies think that "NO SPOILERS" is my name. I've gotten in a lot of arguments and quite a few fights over it, as well. Just accept that some people have the attention span of a gnat and enjoy flying blind like I do :D
RetPallyJil Dec 11th 2009 7:37PM
I saw that movie in a test screening about two weeks before it came out. Talk about torturing a no-spoilers soul. Give them this big secret, then let them stew for two weeks while everyone asks, "Is that movie any good?"
I spent a lot of conversations like :x that.
Chirri Dec 11th 2009 7:45PM
I can sympathize to an extent.
I like to approach bosses and instances blind, myself. Now keep in mind, I've done my share of reading up about encounters prior to ever engaging them, and this is actually a good portion of WHY I've found that it simply doesn't work very well for me. The pre-loaded strategy thing just overloads me. Strats mention abilities and challenges, which is all to the good... except that I, as a player, don't actually need *all* of that information. Eventually it will be very useful to know, yes, but to begin with, much of it isn't anything I need to worry about. If I'm being told that 5 things will happen at once, and there's only one thing I can actually react to, then the other 4 things are simply going to confuse me and slow down my reaction time.
When I encounter a boss these days I do it blind a few times, and then once I've experienced the various traps and hoops, I'll go ahead and read a strat. By then I'll recognize which abilities I personally have to deal with, and I'll be able to also learn about the things the other classes have to deal with and incorporate that into my own personal strategies. (It's a slow, internalization process, I suppose)
I'm not a huge fan of spoilers. I've avoided spoiler posts on news sites, but post titles and excited chatter in game DOES give me the gist of things. But I don't get bent out of shape when people spoil things for me because they're generally pretty vague to begin with (either out of politeness, or because they enjoy that feeling of "I know something you don't know!" which works better, at least, than, "Look what I know and now *I* get to be the one to inform *you!*" which I hate because it just makes them sound both oh-so-superior as well as robbing you of the choice to remain even slightly in the dark about things).
On the one hand, it seems rather extreme to simply turn off guild chat for the first week this player is experiencing new encounters. The fact that it's just a week, and thus a short span of time, is true - but so is the fact that every single time there's a content update, there's always someone who feels the need to spoil things. If he's enjoying the guild other wise, all's well. But that they needed to ask for advice from the DMs makes it sound like, "I've been in this guild since forever, and I've placed myself in a situation I don't actually like. Can I continue to remain in my rut to retain bragging rights about remaining with the same guild so long, or should I expend the effort to find a like-minded guild?"
If the benefits of remaining with the guild outweighed the fun-sucking effects of guildies hollering out spoilers *every single content patch*, I don't think the question would have arisen to begin with.
Rotties67 Dec 11th 2009 7:51PM
Personally, I would talk to the GM and see if this arrangement would work. For 1-3 weeks after a patch (or however long you need), you are going to create a second chat window without guild chat in it. You can still have whispers or whatever else you need. Find some guildies that are sympathetic to you and how you feel, and run with them, let you get a feel for the lore, etc. Explore on your terms. After the time is up, go back to your normal guild social life.
Guys, from patch 1.5, that is a LONG time to be with a guild. To give all that up for this, I think is a bit ridiculous without trying to explore other opportunities first. There are ways around this. If people in the guild are getting upset by this, tell them if they want to pay your subscription fee, they can tell you how to pay. By the same token, if you forget to go into the other chat channel and something is spoiled for you, you have no right to get mad at them because you aren't paying their subscription fee.
I don't know, it just seems like there are plenty of other routes to go before "leave the guild, start another, this is a waste of time and relationship." I know I wouldn't throw away that much time. Maybe it is just me though.