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[1.Local]: Do it for the e-peen Sunday

Reader comments -- ahh, yes, the juicy goodness following a meaty post. [1.Local] ducks past the swinging doors to see what readers have been chatting about in the back room over the past week.

The hot topic at [1.Local]'s press time was an opinion piece from Adam Holisky mulling over the unfortunate high profile of inappropriate posts from disgruntled players on the Blizzard forums. "While it's obvious that trollish parts of the community value and participating in internet yelling matches, the majority of the community does not care to hear it," writes Adam. "We bring this issue up and to the forefront on popular WoW media because it's imperative for the health of the community that this vocal minority does not control or continue to influence the quiet majority."

Urnias: Adam H. is exactly right. Forum posts like the one referenced are why I stopped trying to garner any useful information from that source. I got tired and angry of having to wade through 1) e-peen, 2) flame wars, 3) players who do zero research and 4) those who feel their drop in the bucket to Blizzard's coffers entitles them to dictate game direction and others' play styles.

Please shut up and just play the game. If you're that pissed off, quit. When Blizzard sees the thousands upon thousands of accounts leaving to play Star Trek or Warhammer, they will make the changes you need to feel better and they will beg you to come back.

Jeff: ... Empty "OMG I quit" posts on the forums are universally ignored because I'm certain they are almost never true. Blizzard, and to an even stronger extent, Activision, speak the language of money. If you aren't speaking to them in that language, you aren't going to get through in any meaningful way.

I'm reminded of the recent controversy surrounding Modern Warfare 2, where scores of the "hardcore" community vowed to boycott the game prior to release. On release day, we saw the infamous screengrab from the "Modern Warfare 2 Boycott" Steam Group, in which the vast majority of people were playing Modern Warfare 2. In that instant, they had nullified all of their cries and threats. Because despite their grievances, they still went to the store and gave Infinity Ward $60.

If the complainers want to be taken seriously, then they need to quite literally put their money where their mouth is.

Amun: That kind of discussion has been all the rage on cable these days. If you don't like something, don't bother engaging in meaningful conversation, just belittle your opposition and start screaming.

And the comment that earns the Drama Mamas Seal of Approval:

Nicholas Tam: It's not about happiness, folks. It's about general politeness and decorum and not being an obnoxious dickwad. I don't care how common it is to the fabric of the Internet: there's no excuse for it whether you agree with the direction of the game or not. By far the worst thing about WoW (or any MMO) is the sheer preponderance of people who act like hooligans because they see that misbehaviour everywhere else online and think it's okay.

And on to lighter topics ...

The pup's in the mail
Misery loves company -- and so do players who are cruising WoW.com while obsessively pounding their log-in buttons on patch day in a fruitless attempt to see their new Core Hound Pups.

Hal: After the servers came back up? I thought they were still down.

GormanGhaste: stuck on loading screen ...

Lesspewpew: I get stuck on the loading screen as well. I wonder how many other people are having this problem.

Jordan: Same.

straw: Also stuck on loading screen ... balls.

pnm326: My loading screen has not received a Core Hound Pup, nor has my loading screen.

G: Did you check your loading screen, too?

zcubed: Try opening another loading screen; it makes the other loading screens load faster.

Mordockk: I'm making a lvl 1 gnome named Loadingscreen.

cbz: Back in the old days, when on many servers you had to sometimes wait upwards of an hour just to get onto a server, I submitted a loading screen shot that showed that I had 55 minutes to wait before there was a spot open to Blizzard's daily screenshot thingy and they actually sent me a "we are not amused" e-mail. Good times.

You're never alone when you've got sympathetic friends here in [1.Local]. Enjoy your lil' pups, folks!
Bottom full of boom out here alone
Readers went into orbit over this take on bear – err, bares gone stratospheric.

Mognet T:
She packed my gear last night pre-flight
Zero hour ten p.m.
And I'm gonna be high as a drake by then

I miss Azeroth so much I miss my wife
It's lonely out in Ice
On such a timeless flight

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touchdown brings me round again to find
I'm not the bare they think I am at home
Oh no no no
I'm a rocket bare!
Bottom full of boom out here alone!

Icecrown ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did

And all this magic I don't understand
It's just my job one night a week
A rocket bare, a rocket bare

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the bare they think I am at home
Oh no no no
I'm a rocket bare!
Bottom full of boom out here alone!

And I think it's gonna be a long long time...

We think it's gonna be a long, long time, too, before someone actually records this version -- although we definitely agree that it's a real blast.
Advice for a lifetime
Dear High Shaman Rakjak,
Would it kill you to put some better items in the Disgusting Jars? All I ever get out of them are some second-rate potions, a shoddy disguise and what I assume is rotten crocolisk urine. Meanwhile, the fat-tongues are handing out 4 pets and a mount. A MOUNT! Could you at least through an occasional chicken in? You've got a few hundred of them you never seem to eat.
-- Nizari, undead mage

Rakjak responds:
THIS ONE NOT COUNT. READ DIFFERENT LETTER TO RAKJAK.
How dumb dead guy know about pee in jar? No one know. Not even Elder Harkek.


Doctor Giggles: "Sometimes the Prize is Pee"

Wisdom to carry close to the heart throughout your lifetime, IMO.

Well all right, then!
News tips of the week
Not that the posts at WoW.com aren't good reading, but sometimes the comments behind the scenes in staff chat turn out to be the most interesting of all.

Name: [redacted]
URL:
Subject: 3.3 crashes every 35 minutes

You might find it interesting that among Vista and Win 7 users who have 64 bit processors there is a problem with the 3.3 patch which causes WoW to crash every 35 minutes

Related URL: http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=21730683752&sid=1&pageNo=1

Christian Belt: I'm pretty sure this was the plot of a Battlestar Galactica episode. Only it involved more Cylons or something.

Name: [redacted]
URL:
Subject: Why DPS meters are going crazy in cross-realm dungeons


Something I thought readers here would be interested in. A post regarding some serious (possibly unsolvable) issues with damage meters in cross-realm dungeons due to add-ons' hidden communication channels not working cross-realm, and many mods (like DBM) turning combat record range down to 5-10 yards. The two combined means cross-realm melee doesn't see ranged damage and vice versa.

Related URL: http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=21730675337&sid=1

Michael Gray: Every day, millions of e-peens are ruthlessly slaughtered by cross-realm PUGs. The scarcity of hidden channels -- so needed by those DPS meter mods that feed those e-peens -- has lead to a frightening shortage across Azeroth.

Robin Torres: "shortage" -- /snort

Michael Gray: Every time you queue for a cross-realm PUG, another e-peen shrivels and dies. Please, won't you think of the starving e-peens? You can help by donating to the most /recent petition thread in your local battlegroup. Do it for the e-peen.

Do it -- until next week!

Ha, caughtcha looking! Hey, don't scroll away -- come join the conversation on these and other posts around the WoW.com community. We'll see you around in [1.Local].

Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Fan stuff, Features, Humor, [1.Local]

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