WoW.com's prestige in the community has afforded us the opportunity to speak with major Azerothian leadership figures on any subject, and we're letting you, the reader, Ask a Faction Leader!
We recently spoke to High-Shaman Rakjak, leader of the Frenzyheart wolvar tribe, and he shed light on several key issues, including dumb fat-tongues, carnivorous mailboxes, visitor permits, wolvar fertility, and jarred urine. In this installment of Ask a Faction Leader, we'll be sitting with Vol'Jin, leader of the Darkspear trolls.
Our first reader question:
W'at possesed ya ta train raptors fer ridin'? If ya hadn' noticed, we trolls be da tallest race of da Horde, and ridin' on da raptors only makes us even talla'! I can't fit though any of da doors in any of da major cities. Couldn' ya figure out how ta ride Crocklisks, instead? Dey be short 'nuff so I could git though da door into da Undacity elevator! So could ya give us some options? Would be nice...
~Fellow troll raptor rider
De way I see it, dis issue be about one t'ing and one t'ing alone.
Das' right. Sen'Jin, he tell me about dis a long time ago. When de old trolls decided dey needed to be ridin' somet'in', dey made dis decree: trolls only be ridin' somet'in' wit feddas. Trolls be decoratin' dey armor wit 'em. Dey weapons. Dey huts. So it only be makin' sense dat our mounts have 'em too. So dey had ta choose between all da rideable beasties a da world wit feddas.
- Harpies. Dey not too fonda' bein' rode. Not too fond at all.
- Gryphons. Dem dwarves already be ridin' em and we don' wanna be accuseda' imitatin' 'em.
- Moonkin. Dey definitely sturdy but dey dumb as rocks, mon.
- Furbolgs. Dey tribal like we trolls, but we don' like goin' bearback.
- Dragonhawks. Like we trolls gonna be usin' elf pets fa' ridin'!
- Hawkstriders. LIKE WE GONNA BE USIN' DEY MOUNTS TOO.
I keep hearing your people warn me to "stay away from the voodoo," but a troll woman told me something to the effect of "come get the voodoo". I'm getting mixed messages here. What am I supposed to do for real?
Listen, mon. Sometimes, people call good t'ings bad t'ings. Y'eva heard somebody say "do da bad t'ing"? Ain't no bad t'ing!
Ya, mon, ya stay away from da voodoo, but if a troll lady say she wantcha ta come get da voodoo, you go get da voodoo. Ya big idiot.
As a troll of the Darkspear, I've helped Master Gadrin in Sen'jin Village clean up the Echo Isles and still we don't occupy it. Would it possible for you to use your influence with Thrall to get him to help us build a real capital city for our tribe?
Ev'rybody be givin' Vol'Jin a hard time ova de Echo Isles. Dey wanna know why he not be orderin' reconstruction on de old troll home. Listen to Vol'Jin.
Back when Zalazane be givin' us trouble, Darkspears be hurtin' bad. Dwindlin' population, enemies on all sides. Was some serious bad mojo. But t'ings be pretty good for Darkspear nowadays. We be safe in da Horde. We got time and we got space to rebuild. We got troll babies bein' born for da first time in years. Dere be more of us dan eva.
Now look at de Echo Isles. Dey was pretty good when we was gettin' wiped out. But nowadays dey be lookin' pretty small. T'ree lil' islands to hold all of us? Not enough, mon. Trolls be askin' me to move 'em back dere, but what we be needin' is a new home dat can be fittin' all of us. And all of us dat be comin' soon.
Sure, we live on de Isles for a while, but we also used to be eatin' each udda. Da trolls, mon, dey be a-changin'. Dey gotta be.
Me and me girlfriend be wantin' to take things to tah next level and actually kiss, but me tusks keep gettin' in da way. Dere surely can't be dis problem for all da trolls, but me tusks be especially big.
Be there some voodoo I can be workin' to make dis issue go away?
-Frustrated in Stranglethorn
I be gettin' a lotta questions about tusks dis week. Vol'Jin gonna tell you a secret. Ev'rybody know dat trolls be best at growin' back body parts if dey cut off. Ya cut off we arm, we grow it back. Whatchoo might not be knowin' is somet'in' else about troll biology.
Dese tusks? Detachable. Das' right. Ya take 'em right out if ya wanna get wit ya lady. Dey pop right back in when ya done. If ya lose 'em, ya grow 'em right back anyway.
Jes' be careful. Dem udda t'ing you might be usin' wit ya lady? Also detachable. Ya been warned, mon.
As a Troll Priest, I was pleased to find that the armor earned through battle in the Trial of Champions was named after the Troll Priest Zabra Hexx. However, I noticed that of the 9 different Armors, You and Cairne were not represented, despite a traitor such as Gul'dan being represented. Do you feel slighted by this, or did you just feel there was no role that closely identified with you and your abilities?
Kersimus, Troll Priest, Azgalor
Ah, I be appreciatin' da sentiment, mon. Ya gotta be t'inkin' I be pretty mad about not gettin' any armor named afta me. But Sylvanas be pretty good at da huntin', and bein' dat she be walkin' around in a metal t'ong, well. Whoeva be namin' dat armor probably had dat on he brain. Dat kinda armor, it do t'ings to da male mind.
I don't t'ink I be havin' any armor named after me 'til dey make da Shadow Hunter hero class. Den me name be all ova dem purple lettas.
Was gwan on mebrudda,
I an i nah wantan to be a beetch, an me neya carie cus Ogrimmar be a rite proper crib man ferreal but aint it na time feh move up yah? Fi be needn yah own space man. Drive dem bambaclat buggah Allyants outta dah Stranglethorn. Peace to yah brudda z'ullove.
Whatchoo even be sayin' in dis letter, mon? Trolls dese days, writin' like dey was speakin'. Wearin' dem baggy pants. Lis'nin' to dem hip-hops. We be teachin' you Orcish, mon! Use it!
Dear Mr Vol'jin,
Congratulations! You've just won a free zeppelin ride for three!
Whoa! Free zeppelin ride for t'ree! But who should I take ...
That's all for our audience with Vol'Jin! Next week, we'll be speaking with Chromie of the Bronze Dragonflight. Simply email email@example.com with the subject line "AAFL" with questions you'd like Chromie to answer -- anything from relationship advice to productivity tips -- and it might just get a response.
Filed under: Ask a Faction Leader