Patch 5.4 patch notes
Virtual Realms feature revealed
The Proving Grounds are coming
The latest patch 5.4 newsBreakfast Topic: What really happens during maintenance?
by Gregg Reece 
Jan 26th 2010 at 8:00AM
Goblins and gnomes are using refitted shredders to sweep the streets and repaint the buildings. Mankrik's wife has stopped playing dead for a little while and is grabbing a bite to eat with her husband. The stormforged dwarves are hard at work forging more drops for the raids that have reset. The streets of Orgrimmar are empty with tumbleweeds blowing down the streets and an old orc in a rocking chair is playing the theme to The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly on an old harmonica (the music was in the tumbleweed's contract).
What do you think the World of Warcraft does while we're temporarily forced offline?
Filed under: Breakfast Topics
Reader Comments (Page 5 of 5)
Rookwood Jan 26th 2010 2:30PM
I think it's rather obvious what they do. They play World of Humancraft.
cyfoeth Jan 26th 2010 2:30PM
You may have noticed that the downtimes have been getting longer, on average, over the years? Well, that's because Blizzard counts their money on Tuesdays, and since they actually have to know how many coins are in the giant swimming pool, it takes a bit longer these days.
Daedalus Jan 26th 2010 2:46PM
I think the NPC's of the game take the time to go and visit friends and family in other MMO's: Varian takes off his armor, grabs his tights, and heads over to City of Heroes; all the game's goblins and ethereals head over to EVE Online to take classes in business administration; gnomes all run back home to MapleStory; the dragons head back to D&D online, (their day jobs in WoW being the reason that they're absent from it most of the time...); the dwarves get really drunk and go to various fantasy based MMO's, but their intoxicated state means that many of them get mixed up on the way back and wind up in Warhammer Online; Garrosh goes over to Age of Conan where he's routinely pwned in PvP by characters many levels lower than him, (explains a lot, doesn't it?); and Illidan, Kaelthas, and Ragnaros head over to Everquest to commiserate with other game characters no one cares about any more.
Of course, not all the world's NPC's end up in other games; some visit other parts of the internet: Kel'Thuzad, C'Thun, Anub'arak, and Zul'jin have a weekly self-help meeting at the UAA site, (Unneccessary Apostrophes Anonymous), Saurfang likes to go hang out with the lolcats, and of course, the trolls like to hang out in game forums.
Lucidique Jan 26th 2010 4:11PM
This is probably the truth.
Actually, it just graduated to The Truth.
slightlyawry Jan 26th 2010 3:39PM
During maintenance, I assume the following happens:
1. Begin maintenance window
2. Any changes to the Blizzard network impacting customer-facing operations are performed and tested.
3. the databases are archived and backed up, with older backups being decremented and warehoused.
4. The realm, instance, and authentication servers are bounced and run through various diagnostics. SAN expansion, preventative maintenance, and diagnostics occur. Hardware upgrades and replacements happen now.
5. Code level is incremented with any changes. Hotfixes (announced and otherwise) are applied.
6. The customer care group has their weekly team meeting.
7. Servers are brought back up and tested for stability.
8. Servers returned to production.
9. Six bajillion no-lifers, truants, unemployed folks, gold farmers, and yes, a smattering of people with jobs more complex than taking a burger order crush the login server simultaneously, and log in all at once causing Dalaran to collapse on itself like a dying star.
Oldbear Jan 26th 2010 4:01PM
Teams quickly unclog the Internet tubes...
ccbutch Jan 26th 2010 4:40PM
It's like that movie Dark City. Suddenly everyone goes to sleep at once and then things slowly change. Sometimes they do small things like adjust armor or certain abilities and other times they do big things like adding an island above Icecrown. For most when they wake back up nothing noticeable has changed, but sometimes they turn a lvl 80 warlock into a low level warrior for a week just to see if they like that type of playstyle. Sometimes they take an entire population of a class and adjust everything about them.
They are the hidden enemy of Warcarft. What are they looking for? Why do they keep changing things? Why do they suddenly change big things and then when Azeroth can't handle it they end up putting people to sleep multiple times in a single day? Will we ever see these hidden people that control the workings behind closed doors?
"Shut it down"
Furydeath Jan 26th 2010 4:54PM
Jana and thrall meet at the booty bay inn for some...ummm tea.
MightyMuffin Jan 26th 2010 5:36PM
Beating a dead horse since I completely missed this newspost today...
I remember earlier this year that during downtime, WoW.com did a long prose about how the players get to the inn and fall asleep because of some "feeling" they had. They also then did a prose for what happens when they wake up. I thought this was the best thing ever and really played on my escapism...er...fantasy addiction...er...ok there isn't a good way to put it. The point is I really enjoyed that and miss it sometimes, liking the RP, even though I don't RP.
In truth, I believe that once all the players are off, Blizzard presses the big blue button (not the red one, the red one either instantly fixes all class issues and makes PvE and PvP separate and not causing balancing issues...or it blows up the world. Experimenting has been denied at this point). The big blue button makes all the NPCs, bosses, trash, and even our own PCs come alive. Our PCs go back to their spouses and children, telling the tales of their journey thus far. Usually the bank alts are the people you see flaunting their money in the restaruants...although some of the male gnomes lack any clothing which just makes it even more disturbing. The Bosses of each raid have several things they decide to do, one of which is battle it out with other raid bosses. Heroics are sometimes invited. Trash shift around aimlessly, tending to their wounds and buying gear for the bosses (sometimes the nicer bosses go out and throw a party...the trash there are usually more exuberant and protective). The NPCs actually interact with the PCs on the personal level, all with vocal language, and all that. The greatest PvP battles take place between the horde and alliance due to the fact that skill have everything to do with survival in real life. For them, WoW is real life. Knowing how to stab with X resilience is how you live rather than having X resilience and X class. PCs actually go and attack mobs sometimes, but that usually causes bugs and bosses to deep breath moar!
And when they extend downtime...yeah, major capital cities become red light districts and major partying occurs...lots and lots of partying...and other things.
byoonie Jan 26th 2010 5:54PM
This is one of the best collection of comments for an article. I lol'd so many times reading through them xD