Ask a Faction Leader: Chromie

We recently spoke to Vol'Jin, leader of the Darkspear trolls, and he shed light on several key issues, including voodoo proximity, detachable extremities, and residential communities, and free zeppelin rides for three. In this installment of Ask a Faction Leader, we'll be sitting with Anachronos, interim leader of the Bronze Dragonflight.
Our first reader ques--
Anachronos responds:

A TERRIBLE AND COSTLY MISTAKE YOU HAVE MADE. IT IS NOT MY TIME TO GIVE AN INTERVIEW, MORTALS!
He just ... despawned. Okay. Uh, well, in that case, let's see ... Soridormi is busy dealing with the Infinites in the Caverns of Time, so ... I guess the task falls to Chronormu, better known to adventurers as Chromie -- ambassador for the Bronze Dragonflight.
Our first reader question ...
Chromie,
As part of the Bronze Dragonflight you can go from time period to time period. You must be important in your flight to be hanging out on top of Wyrmrest Temple. I'm just really confused...are you male or female? You have a male name as far as dragon names go, but you are a gnome female when not in dragon form? Is this a dragon form of cross dressing? Whats the deal?
Nephihah, one confused dwarf .
Chromie responds:
I get this question so much it's staggering. I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal out of the fact that yes, I'm a man, and yes, I choose a female as my mortal form. If you had to spend multiple hours each day, and by multiple I mean "thousands across hundreds of timelines," running around performing thankless corrective tasks on Azeroth, wouldn't you want to do it as something fun?
You don't need to answer that, because guess what! You already do that. I'm looking at you, female blood elf players. Do I get on your case for playing a female blood elf when you're very clearly a man? No. No I do not. And after a cursory examination, it appears that I never have, nor will I, at least in the most commonly-accepted timelines (I reserve the right to do so in ancillary lines 4A through 7F as necessary to prevent catastrophe). Though you do, in the main timeline, gender change to a male furbolg apothecary in Patch 6.2. I have to give you credit for that. Especially after the whole male/female stat differences thing introduced in 5.0. Wait! No! I've said too much!
Dear Chromie,
Do you have any news from the future you may want to share with us? Specifically I want to know about the future heir of Ironforge, Moira's and Dagran's still (after 5 years) unborn baby.
Thank you.
-Future dwarf shaman.
Chromie responds:
News from the future, eh? Well, let's see ... yes, the baby is eventually born, though as a future dwarf you should know that, much like their beards, dwarf gestation periods are exceptionally long. While he doesn't necessarily unite the dwarven clans, the unique circumstances of his birth do make the various clans rethink their insular nature, and things ... uh, things definitely happen. I guess you could say. Being a future dwarf yourself, I think I can share this one with you. Thermal energy from the city of Thaurissan is vented to melt Dun Morogh and make it more hospitable, as a gesture of goodwill from the Dark Irons. Of course, the Ironforge dwarves didn't know it was coming. After the flooding, the place had to be renamed to Dun Lessogh.
Dwarves.
Dear Chromie,
With your extensive knowledge of the past, future, and possible alternate realities due to time traveling meddling, can you tell us about Mary Sue, the secret love child of Tyrande and Illidan raised by furbolgs who inhabits alternate reality #666?
Thanks.
-Âllùcärd
Chromie responds:
She's easily the worst thing that could possibly happen to Azeroth's future, and we've had to take great pains to assure that her specific timeline never merges with the primary one. It's very difficult, though -- someone is very determined to make her, shall we say, canon. But we seem to have it under control. Knaak on wood.
Dear Chromie,
I need your help, my friend Doc disappeared while we were running tests on our new engineering device, shortly after his disappearance I received the following letter.
I was wondering could you open a portal to the past so I can go retrieve him and the D3-L0R34N."Dear Martin,
If my calculations are correct, you will recieve this letter moments after the D3-L0R34N disappeared. Let me assure you I am alive and well in the past."
Sincerely,
Martin McFlywheel, gnomish engineer
Chromie responds:
Great Scottodormu! I'm afraid that I can't open portals for just anybody, Martin, but I may have a solution for you if you want to save Doc. You'll need an electromagnetomic gigaflux capacitator, this lightning rod, and an epic mount.
I know what you're thinking, and yes, this sucker's electrical. You'll need to generate 1.21 gigawatts of electricity. Martin, I'm sorry. But the only power source capable of generating 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is an elemental shaman's Lightning Bolt. You have to harness the lightning! Channel it into the capacitator and it just might work!
But you'll also need to be going pretty fast when you get that jolt. As long as you ride by the shaman at precisely 154,880 yards per hour the instant the Lightning Bolt strikes the capacitator ... everything will be fine.
Now why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?
Dear Chromie,
As one of the high-ranking members of the Bronze Dragonflight, you're not just a custodian of time itself, you have some fairly substantial power to control it. Are there any ways in which you find time-magic particularly useful in your day-to-day life, when you're not fighting against the infinite dragonflight and/or particularly large time-travelling worms?
Also, what's up with my future self? Is defeating the Lich King going to turn as all into sarcastic, alcoholic hatemachines?
Yours sincerely, Cassilda of Nordrassil.
Chromie responds:
I manipulate time so much every day that it's hard to nail down any favorites specifically, but I'd have to say that I find the ability to go back in time the most useful after seeing any movie with Ashton Kutcher in it.
As for your future self, I've got bad news. Hope you like Flash of Light.
Lady Chromie,
I do so hope this letter finds you well, and in a relatively stable timeline! I've sent a few letters before, but received no response - of course, having assisted Anachronos at the War of Ahn'qiraj, Soridormi to preserve the timeline of Hyjal, and Alurmi to mend other, less-corrupted timelines, I'm well aware that you are likely quite busy and just haven't had time to pen a response, and I fully understand!
Anyways, I am writing to ask if you would like to find some time - not that finding time should be hard for you! - to have lunch in Dalaran? My deeds are well known amongst the Kirin Tor as well - I could easily pull some strings to get the beer garden allocated for just our use! We could talk about the findings that we revealed at the Bronze Dragonshrine, theories about where Lord Nozdormu is... anything you'd like, really!
I would've asked in person, but, well, you know how Lord Krasus can get when I visit the Dragonshrine - Lady Alexstrasza may trust me unwaveringly, especially after my bravery at the Eye of Eternity, but he never seems to give me even a spare moment to talk to you about unprofessional manners when I visit!
Do send back your answer quickly!
Sincerely,
Rilgon Arcsinh, the Bronze Acolyte
Chromie responds:
Sure, as long as you can find somewhere large enough to seat my dragon form. My male dragon form. Because I'm male.
Dear Chromie,
Remember me? Strongly-bearded drawf with a half-dead boar companion? Well I remember yeh! Oi, ya were a wee lovely dragon lady in gnome's clothin'. We spent a lotta time together in Andorhal killing undead. It was like ya were stuck in a loop there, tellin' me ta go get them watches over an' over... I asked ya about it in Wyrmrest and yeh told me yeh didn't recall. Must be hard bein' everywhere an' nowhere all at once! But I digress.
I've a question for yeh, lass. It pertains ta time, so I figure it SHOULD be yer forte! So my question! Are yeh ready? O' course ya are! Now... When...specifically...is...lunch time? Sure, everyone SAYS it's at noon straight, but I've had this oddball theory that lunch was just AFTER noon! Like 12:12 'r so. So as a lass with experience in timely matters, I figured yeh could tell me!
Thanks kindly,
Thoradd Anvilmar
Chromie responds:
To quote a beloved author in a different timeline and different dimension altogether: Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Filed under: Ask a Faction Leader






Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
joel_robinson Feb 2nd 2010 1:11PM
Good stuff. Loved the BTTF bit.
Robin Feb 2nd 2010 2:05PM
it could be me, but wasn't that quote first used by Douglas Adams in the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy "trilogy"? try googling it, his name will be the first you'll find.
slythwolf Feb 2nd 2010 2:21PM
*facepalm*
Robin, there is a Douglas Adams quote AND there's a Back to the Future bit.
robin Feb 2nd 2010 2:30PM
hhm, that explains it :P
never mind my post then and downrank it
Sorry that i've wasted your time, slyth...
Sicadastra Feb 2nd 2010 2:31PM
The Back to the Future letter is absolutely the best ever. I humbly demand that wow.com hunt down its author and immediately employ him/her as a writer. I furthermore demand Blizzard immediately patch the D3-L0R34N into the game along with an NPC named Martin McFlywheel. Until these demands are met I will have no choice but to play WoW rather than working.
Brandon Tilley Feb 2nd 2010 3:43PM
The Back to the Future reference was great, but I enjoyed the Hitchhiker's Guide reference myself!
Angus Feb 2nd 2010 6:16PM
I normally don't burst out laughing so hard my wife stares at me.
Martin McFlywheel did it.
Great one.
Almoderate Feb 2nd 2010 7:44PM
And yet no references to a certain other famous time traveler and his blue box? *whine*
Russ Feb 2nd 2010 1:11PM
Back to the Future reference for the win. That question had me laughing out loud and everyone was looking at me at work.
Keep up the good work.
iWolf Feb 2nd 2010 1:59PM
I second that, hysterically funny IMHO as a recovering Back To The Future fanatic.
Anathemys Feb 2nd 2010 7:29PM
I third that, and would also like to add something.
I love the Douglas Adams reference, even more because after reading that letter I thought the exact same thing...
It was kinda creepy, actually...
Falcon6 Feb 2nd 2010 1:11PM
Okay, Rilgon's email just made me laugh. Chromie's response even moreso.
Ooo, Sylvanas is next? Hehehe...can't wait to see what we get from this.=D
Nawaf Feb 3rd 2010 10:57AM
What if Rilgon was a female?
Falcon6 Feb 3rd 2010 3:21PM
He's certainly the loudest female I'd know of...=P
JediMasterEric Feb 2nd 2010 1:11PM
This is one of the best yet. I love your little BttF section. Keep up the good work!!
Broomphondle Feb 2nd 2010 1:12PM
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
My favorite author. Thanks for the entertaining article.
Felix_NZ Feb 2nd 2010 3:05PM
Agreed, although I was half expecting a reference to the long, dark tea time of the (dragon?)soul
Deathknighty Feb 2nd 2010 1:16PM
You responded to my query! Awesome! Thanks, I really appreciate that. ;)
Drakkenfyre Feb 2nd 2010 1:19PM
Thank you for spelling gigawatts with a "G". So many people think it's spelled with a "J" since Christopher Lloyd pronounced it that way, much like people prounce "gibs" as both "gibs' and "jibs".
Marcosius Feb 2nd 2010 1:27PM
Technically, it can be written as Jiggawatt and it is not grammatically wrong.