WoW.com's prestige in the community has afforded us the opportunity to speak with major Azerothian leadership figures on any subject, and we're letting you, the reader, Ask a Faction Leader!
We recently spoke to Vol'Jin, leader of the Darkspear trolls, and he shed light on several key issues, including voodoo proximity, detachable extremities, and residential communities, and free zeppelin rides for three. In this installment of Ask a Faction Leader, we'll be sitting with Anachronos, interim leader of the Bronze Dragonflight.
Our first reader ques--
A TERRIBLE AND COSTLY MISTAKE YOU HAVE MADE. IT IS NOT MY TIME TO GIVE AN INTERVIEW, MORTALS!
He just ... despawned. Okay. Uh, well, in that case, let's see ... Soridormi is busy dealing with the Infinites in the Caverns of Time, so ... I guess the task falls to Chronormu, better known to adventurers as Chromie -- ambassador for the Bronze Dragonflight.
Our first reader question ...
As part of the Bronze Dragonflight you can go from time period to time period. You must be important in your flight to be hanging out on top of Wyrmrest Temple. I'm just really confused...are you male or female? You have a male name as far as dragon names go, but you are a gnome female when not in dragon form? Is this a dragon form of cross dressing? Whats the deal?
Nephihah, one confused dwarf .
I get this question so much it's staggering. I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal out of the fact that yes, I'm a man, and yes, I choose a female as my mortal form. If you had to spend multiple hours each day, and by multiple I mean "thousands across hundreds of timelines," running around performing thankless corrective tasks on Azeroth, wouldn't you want to do it as something fun?
You don't need to answer that, because guess what! You already do that. I'm looking at you, female blood elf players. Do I get on your case for playing a female blood elf when you're very clearly a man? No. No I do not. And after a cursory examination, it appears that I never have, nor will I, at least in the most commonly-accepted timelines (I reserve the right to do so in ancillary lines 4A through 7F as necessary to prevent catastrophe). Though you do, in the main timeline, gender change to a male furbolg apothecary in Patch 6.2. I have to give you credit for that. Especially after the whole male/female stat differences thing introduced in 5.0. Wait! No! I've said too much!
Do you have any news from the future you may want to share with us? Specifically I want to know about the future heir of Ironforge, Moira's and Dagran's still (after 5 years) unborn baby.
-Future dwarf shaman.
News from the future, eh? Well, let's see ... yes, the baby is eventually born, though as a future dwarf you should know that, much like their beards, dwarf gestation periods are exceptionally long. While he doesn't necessarily unite the dwarven clans, the unique circumstances of his birth do make the various clans rethink their insular nature, and things ... uh, things definitely happen. I guess you could say. Being a future dwarf yourself, I think I can share this one with you. Thermal energy from the city of Thaurissan is vented to melt Dun Morogh and make it more hospitable, as a gesture of goodwill from the Dark Irons. Of course, the Ironforge dwarves didn't know it was coming. After the flooding, the place had to be renamed to Dun Lessogh.
With your extensive knowledge of the past, future, and possible alternate realities due to time traveling meddling, can you tell us about Mary Sue, the secret love child of Tyrande and Illidan raised by furbolgs who inhabits alternate reality #666?
She's easily the worst thing that could possibly happen to Azeroth's future, and we've had to take great pains to assure that her specific timeline never merges with the primary one. It's very difficult, though -- someone is very determined to make her, shall we say, canon. But we seem to have it under control. Knaak on wood.
I need your help, my friend Doc disappeared while we were running tests on our new engineering device, shortly after his disappearance I received the following letter.
I was wondering could you open a portal to the past so I can go retrieve him and the D3-L0R34N."Dear Martin,
If my calculations are correct, you will recieve this letter moments after the D3-L0R34N disappeared. Let me assure you I am alive and well in the past."
Martin McFlywheel, gnomish engineer
Great Scottodormu! I'm afraid that I can't open portals for just anybody, Martin, but I may have a solution for you if you want to save Doc. You'll need an electromagnetomic gigaflux capacitator, this lightning rod, and an epic mount.
I know what you're thinking, and yes, this sucker's electrical. You'll need to generate 1.21 gigawatts of electricity. Martin, I'm sorry. But the only power source capable of generating 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is an elemental shaman's Lightning Bolt. You have to harness the lightning! Channel it into the capacitator and it just might work!
But you'll also need to be going pretty fast when you get that jolt. As long as you ride by the shaman at precisely 154,880 yards per hour the instant the Lightning Bolt strikes the capacitator ... everything will be fine.
Now why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?
As one of the high-ranking members of the Bronze Dragonflight, you're not just a custodian of time itself, you have some fairly substantial power to control it. Are there any ways in which you find time-magic particularly useful in your day-to-day life, when you're not fighting against the infinite dragonflight and/or particularly large time-travelling worms?
Also, what's up with my future self? Is defeating the Lich King going to turn as all into sarcastic, alcoholic hatemachines?
Yours sincerely, Cassilda of Nordrassil.
I manipulate time so much every day that it's hard to nail down any favorites specifically, but I'd have to say that I find the ability to go back in time the most useful after seeing any movie with Ashton Kutcher in it.
As for your future self, I've got bad news. Hope you like Flash of Light.
I do so hope this letter finds you well, and in a relatively stable timeline! I've sent a few letters before, but received no response - of course, having assisted Anachronos at the War of Ahn'qiraj, Soridormi to preserve the timeline of Hyjal, and Alurmi to mend other, less-corrupted timelines, I'm well aware that you are likely quite busy and just haven't had time to pen a response, and I fully understand!
Anyways, I am writing to ask if you would like to find some time - not that finding time should be hard for you! - to have lunch in Dalaran? My deeds are well known amongst the Kirin Tor as well - I could easily pull some strings to get the beer garden allocated for just our use! We could talk about the findings that we revealed at the Bronze Dragonshrine, theories about where Lord Nozdormu is... anything you'd like, really!
I would've asked in person, but, well, you know how Lord Krasus can get when I visit the Dragonshrine - Lady Alexstrasza may trust me unwaveringly, especially after my bravery at the Eye of Eternity, but he never seems to give me even a spare moment to talk to you about unprofessional manners when I visit!
Do send back your answer quickly!
Rilgon Arcsinh, the Bronze Acolyte
Sure, as long as you can find somewhere large enough to seat my dragon form. My male dragon form. Because I'm male.
Remember me? Strongly-bearded drawf with a half-dead boar companion? Well I remember yeh! Oi, ya were a wee lovely dragon lady in gnome's clothin'. We spent a lotta time together in Andorhal killing undead. It was like ya were stuck in a loop there, tellin' me ta go get them watches over an' over... I asked ya about it in Wyrmrest and yeh told me yeh didn't recall. Must be hard bein' everywhere an' nowhere all at once! But I digress.
I've a question for yeh, lass. It pertains ta time, so I figure it SHOULD be yer forte! So my question! Are yeh ready? O' course ya are! Now... When...specifically...is...lunch time? Sure, everyone SAYS it's at noon straight, but I've had this oddball theory that lunch was just AFTER noon! Like 12:12 'r so. So as a lass with experience in timely matters, I figured yeh could tell me!
To quote a beloved author in a different timeline and different dimension altogether: Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
That's all for our audience with Chromie! Next week, we'll be speaking with Lady Sylvanas Windrunner. Simply email firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line "AAFL" with questions you'd like Sylvanas to answer -- anything from tips on plague creation to questions about how to be comically evil -- and it might just get a response.
Filed under: Ask a Faction Leader