Ask a Faction Leader: Sylvanas Windrunner

We recently spoke to Chromie, ambassador for the Bronze Dragonflight, and he shed light on several key issues, including gender identity, dwarven futures, Mary Sues, and going back to the future. In this installment of Ask a Faction Leader, we'll be sitting with Sylvanas Windrunner, Banshee Queen of the forsaken.
Our first reader question...
Dear Sylvanas,
There have been rumors that your elder sister Alleria had a son with the Alliance paladin Turaylon. How do you respond to this?
Sincerely,
Wylendrin of Blackwater Raiders
Sylvanas responds:
With the opportunity to ask me anything, of course the blood elf paladin asks me tabloid questions.
I have a sister who most likely died facing the Burning Legion on Draenor. I have a sister who forsook her allegiance to Silvermoon for the company of humans. I have three nephews I will never know save for likely facing them in battle in the future. How do you think I feel?
Please screen your questions better.
My Queen,
With Varimathras defeated and the trust on our kind at all-time-low, the orcs have come to our city to monitor on our activities.
I do not get offended by that, but with all the reputation I've built for myself while being a proud member of the Forsaken, the way our people are treated is making me want to set an orc or two ablaze. I didn't become an ambassador to be treated like dirt and so I ask you: what are your thoughts about the orcish guard of Undercity? How long do you think this will last? And does it ever bother you?
Ambassador Sappermentti
Sylvanas responds:
The incident at the Wrathgate, which of course I had nothing to do with me whatsoever, has put the forsaken in a bad position within the Horde. As much as the Horde needs us for our foothold in the Eastern Kingdoms, we need the Horde if we want to keep Lordaeron safe against the newly-bolstered Alliance forces. Wrynn is proving a thorn in our side that needs to be dealt with, and we can't do it alone.
Yes, the Kor'kron overseers are a bother, but for the moment, we're in the doghouse and there's not much I can do about it. But we will get past it. In fact, I just received a message from Garrosh Hellscream with a deal in mind -- for all to be forgiven, all I have to do is claim for the Horde a certain port west of Silverpine.
Dearest Sylvanas,
Death becomes you. No really! I confess that I am jealous of your waist line. Please, please tell me your secret. My tier 10 exposes my problem areas (Aimee makes superb Dalaran Brownies). I was hoping for some hints for a crash diet before twenty-four of my closest friends see me next week when we go to defeat Arthas. I promise it will be just between us elf girls. Well, in your case past elf.
Hugs and Kisses,
Sabely, Priestess of Elune and Brownies
<Detheroc>
Sylvanas responds:
All I'll say on the matter is that maintaining one's girlish figure becomes considerably easier when you can cut out certain items from your diet -- like food.
Although, if you're interested in losing some weight quickly -- very quickly -- I suppose I could get you in touch with my apothecary. He's got something that'll make the pounds just melt away.
So, Dark Lady,
I've noticed some Dark Rangers hanging out in Dalaran, and Loralen was with us in Icecrown... When do we get training to be this awesome?
-Huntardo
Sylvanas responds:
Until recently, the dark rangers had been a very elite group of raised high elf hunters, much like myself, but hunting and tracking are qualities that seem to come naturally to my forsaken. It's no surprise that some of the traits of the leader would be instilled into her subjects, and now that Arthas has finally been defeated, it's the perfect time to expand our horizons and offer rigorous ranger training for all forsaken.
Besides, it was either this or paladins, and what forsaken really wants to be a paladin? I hate to go all Lor'themar on this, but it was a matter of resources, and I think I made the right choice.
Right?
Beloved Dark Lady,
We are experiencing logistical difficulties with some of the Cult of the Damned prisoners we brought back from Northrend. We have asked each of them, "Undeath or cake?" So far, they have all chosen to join us in undeath.
This leads to our problem: we're running out of undeath! We simply weren't expecting such a rush. This leaves our prisoners with the choice of "Or cake?," which isn't a choice at all. Is there anything else we can offer these prisoners until more undeath arrives?
Sincerely,
Edward Gizzard
Royal Apothecary Society
Sylvanas responds:
We're an entire civilization based entirely around being raised, living in a city filled with plague slime, staffed by the finest apothecaries on Azeroth. I find it hard to believe that we could simply run out of undeath.
If that truly is the case, though, offer them the chicken.
Dear Sylvanas,
I first wanted to express the honor I felt while fighting by your side to retake the Undercity. It was an amazing experience. During the battle I noticed you began to sing as you volleyed down masses of enemies. It was hauntingly beautiful tune. The resulting buff allowed me to melt faces with ease. I was hoping that you could tell me the name of it and perhaps teach me to sing it as you did. Best wishes !
Anachronista
Undead Shadow Priestess
US - Sisters of Elune
Sylvanas responds:
Sure. It was "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship.
Hey Sylvanas,
What kind of deoderant do you have piped into the undercity? Because when I was there helping to clean up your mess after the Wrathgate, it didnt all smell that bad. It was like lemon, wildflowers with just a hint of rotting decaying body parts. We dwarfs would like to know, as the gnome smell is becoming an issue in Ironforge.
Thank you for your time,
Dolar
Department of De-gnomification, Ironforge University
Sylvanas responds:
Even a cursory glance at most forsaken would inform you that most of us long ago lost our sense of smell, so the smell of the Undercity tends not to be too much of a concern. That said, though, we do get a lot of foot traffic from our allied races, and some of them (blood elves) act like their food has been topped with a bit too much Baby Spice, if you get my meaning, when they visit.
I told them that it was their problem, and they somehow got that Lor'themar to requisition the Undercity some ten thousand barrels of enchanted perfume from Silvermoon. True story: for blood elves, it's all in the perfume. Addiction does strange things to elven physiology, and if you think Orgrimmar smells bad, you should try a single building in Silvermoon sans perfume. I'm dead and I think it smells foul. And then they whine to me about a few corpses? Elves.
Dear Lady Sylvanas,
Please forgive this intrusion into your interview but I was asked by Chromie to deliver this message to remind her to travel back in time to two weeks ago to ensure that she answers the questions that were posed for her. If you do not want to see the fabric of space and time ripped apart (and I'm sure you don't...right?) I suggest you include this. If it makes you feel any better you can always answer something trivial, like 'what is your favorite colour?' in order to maintain the essence of this segment.
-Chromie's assistant
Sylvanas responds:
I'll ... uh. Purple. It's purple.
Hello, Lady Sylvanas.
Since you have experienced being a night elf and a undead which race of guys interest you more; Night elf or undead?
- Johnny Lightning, Undead peasent
Sylvanas responds:
What? I've never been a night elf. I have no idea what you're talking about.
*bounces idly*
That's all for our audience with Sylvanas! Next week, we'll be speaking with Master Mathias Shaw of Stormwind's SI:7. Simply email sacco@wow.com with the subject line "AAFL" with questions you'd like Mathias to answer -- anything from tips on assassination to questions about how to quell riots -- and it might just get a response.
Filed under: Ask a Faction Leader
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Reader Comments (Page 4 of 5)
Miles Feb 18th 2010 2:48AM
Damn. Now I have to level a horde toon so I can do the Battle for Undercity with Starship playing as the background music....
Vanya Feb 16th 2010 11:42PM
It was good, but it could have been better, i liked how cool and calm sylvanas was, altough i prefer my sylvanas screaming "insolent wench!!!"
But sir, the bounce made it all better :D *bounce*
I guess thats how sylvans got that ripped body, is the bouncing :D
Elish Feb 16th 2010 11:54PM
"we're in the doghouse".
Why does that sound so familiar?
frosthaven42 Feb 17th 2010 12:05AM
To whoever put the Eddie Gizzard question. You sir win epicly.
Eddie Izzard's "Cake or Death" - NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAOLOGGftTY
Will the forsaken claim Gilneas with the cunning use of FLAGS?!?
Dreyja Feb 17th 2010 12:45AM
I have to thank you all for the link to the E.G. Cake or death scetch! I can honestly say I've never seen that one and I REALLY consider it to be a failure of my comedy education. ;)
U R PEACHES!!
Eisengel Feb 17th 2010 1:25AM
As a Deathdealer, Champion of the Banshee Queen, Hallowed Priestess of the Cult of the Forgotten Shadow, and blooded officer in glorious army of the Forsaken, with over 10 thousand graves to my name, I'll repost with answers the Banshee Queen might actually give:
Dear Sylvanas,
There have been rumors that your elder sister Alleria had a son with the Alliance paladin Turaylon. How do you respond to this?
Sincerely,
Wylendrin of Blackwater Raiders
Sylvanas responds:
You speak to me... of family?
I have a sister who most likely died facing the Burning Legion on Draenor. I have a sister who forsook her allegiance to Silvermoon for the company of humans. I have three nephews I will never know save for likely facing them in battle in the future.
How do I respond? If her corpse can be found, the first will be raised to join the Forsaken. For my other sister, only death - preferably at my hand. For my nephews, the sweet release of oblivion.
My Queen,
With Varimathras defeated and the trust on our kind at all-time-low, the orcs have come to our city to monitor on our activities.
I do not get offended by that, but with all the reputation I've built for myself while being a proud member of the Forsaken, the way our people are treated is making me want to set an orc or two ablaze. I didn't become an ambassador to be treated like dirt and so I ask you: what are your thoughts about the orcish guard of Undercity? How long do you think this will last? And does it ever bother you?
Ambassador Sappermentti
Sylvanas responds:
The Orcs may have their little honor guard watching our doors for us for a time. If it was worth my concern, I would put a stop to it. Thrall is no fool. He knows what we are capable of. He remembers my own sister hunted the invading Orcs in the full throes of their demon frenzy unmercifully. She hunted the full force of the Burning Legion, the force that shattered the Alliance, with a burning vengeance equalled only by Maiev. Then he remembers - she was my junior officer in the High Elven army.
Putress and Varimanthas may have been traitorous fools, but they did show all the races and petty powers that we Forsaken have the ability to wipe them from the face of Azeroth whenever we wish - that we alone have a weapon that even the Lich King retreats from. Yes, the Orcs may watch our doors for us like good little lapdogs. They may yet prove useful.
Dearest Sylvanas,
Death becomes you. No really! I confess that I am jealous of your waist line. Please, please tell me your secret. My tier 10 exposes my problem areas (Aimee makes superb Dalaran Brownies). I was hoping for some hints for a crash diet before twenty-four of my closest friends see me next week when we go to defeat Arthas. I promise it will be just between us elf girls. Well, in your case past elf.
Hugs and Kisses,
Sabely, Priestess of Elune and Brownies
Sylvanas responds:
Excellent. I needed a new mind slave. One whose mind is already so empty will be quite easy to flay. Now stay still, if you move it will only hurt more...
So, Dark Lady,
I've noticed some Dark Rangers hanging out in Dalaran, and Loralen was with us in Icecrown... When do we get training to be this awesome?
-Huntardo
When you have proven yourself over a hundred years of battle - when the number of Scourge fallen before your blade is a hundredfold larger than the might of the entire Forsaken army ... I may consider you as a recruit.
Beloved Dark Lady,
We are experiencing logistical difficulties with some of the Cult of the Damned prisoners we brought back from Northrend. We have asked each of them, "Undeath or cake?" So far, they have all chosen to join us in undeath.
This leads to our problem: we're running out of undeath! We simply weren't expecting such a rush. This leaves our prisoners with the choice of "Or cake?," which isn't a choice at all. Is there anything else we can offer these prisoners until more undeath arrives?
Sincerely,
Edward Gizzard
Royal Apothecary Society
We always need more subjects to test the Plague on. They can also be put to use as new Abomination parts. Use your mind for something other than filling your skull - or I will remove it for you.
Dear Sylvanas,
I first wanted to express the honor I felt while fighting by your side to retake the Undercity. It was an amazing experience. During the battle I noticed you began to sing as you volleyed down masses of enemies. It was hauntingly beautiful tune. The resulting buff allowed me to melt faces with ease. I was hoping that you could tell me the name of it and perhaps teach me to sing it as you did. Best wishes !
Anachronista
Undead Shadow Priestess
US - Sisters of Elune
Sylvanas responds:
It is a battle song of the High Elves - a glittering relic of a dead civilization that lived in a world that no longer exists. It has no name, and can not be taught, only learned. Its rythem is the fall of the dead, its rhyme the slash of swords, its tempo the whistle of arrows. It is coiled deep within every being - only the most capable warriors learn to hear it. By giving it voice, those around you will reasonate with it and become more than simple beings, they will flow like water in the infinte river of battle.
Hey Sylvanas,
What kind of deoderant do you have piped into the undercity? Because when I was there helping to clean up your mess after the Wrathgate, it didnt all smell that bad. It was like lemon, wildflowers with just a hint of rotting decaying body parts. We dwarfs would like to know, as the gnome smell is becoming an issue in Ironforge.
Thank you for your time,
Dolar
Department of De-gnomification, Ironforge University
The Royal Apothecary Society is capable of brewing a concoction that lays waste to the living and dead instantly, a Plague so powerful even the Lich King retreats before it. I believe perfumes are one of their idle amusements. You may address them over their useless little hobbies.
Dear Lady Sylvanas,
Please forgive this intrusion into your interview but I was asked by Chromie to deliver this message to remind her to travel back in time to two weeks ago to ensure that she answers the questions that were posed for her. If you do not want to see the fabric of space and time ripped apart (and I'm sure you don't...right?) I suggest you include this. If it makes you feel any better you can always answer something trivial, like 'what is your favorite colour?' in order to maintain the essence of this segment.
-Chromie's assistant
Sylvanas responds:
Oblivion would both destroy our enemies, and free us from our own torment. However... there is a great battle brewing, and the Lich King will feel my vengeance. I will allow this meddling - for now. I burn for the color of a world where our revenge is sated, our enemies dead, and our litany of pain silenced.
Hello, Lady Sylvanas.
Since you have experienced being a night elf and a undead which race of guys interest you more; Night elf or undead?
- Johnny Lightning, Undead peasent
Sylvanas responds:
All races can be Undead. If you doubt me, look upon the wretched legions of the Scourge. One would expect such a soft question the soft mind of newly-woken. Who wishes unending pain? Who wishes unending torment? We are but slaves to our own being.
GI_Prophet Feb 17th 2010 3:36AM
Sort of emo.
Fletcher Feb 17th 2010 7:51AM
"Sort of"?
Dragonrose Feb 17th 2010 10:21AM
I don't know why this was downrated, despite not being in the spirit of the column, which is supposed to be funny. Her modified answers hold as much value, considering how bitter Sylvanas is, as the column's. They're just...a whole lot darker.
traptinacivicsi Feb 17th 2010 10:58AM
Why was this downrated?
Angrycelt Feb 17th 2010 11:52AM
I see this post as her original answers, since she really is pretty dark. The column as printed is once her PR slave got to her and said that she already has a bit of an image issue and to try and "lighten it up" for the press.
Thyrial Feb 17th 2010 2:53AM
The Chromie question was absolutely awesome XD
Kassima Feb 17th 2010 4:37AM
Brilliant! Sylvanas is my fav faction leader and this was awesome! As far as the Nelf thing goes, I almost gagged on coffee.
And Eddie Izzard ref FTW! Cake please :)
Wolfcat Feb 17th 2010 5:23AM
"*bounces idly*"
I literally snorted with suppressed laughter at that.
WylendrinEillas Feb 17th 2010 6:36AM
Well I think with the Question I asked I hit a soft spot.
Erzfiend Feb 17th 2010 8:28AM
Oh milady, I may not be undead, but I'd die for you
Dreyja Feb 17th 2010 9:16AM
... as long as you are ok with the whole, "SHE EATS PEOPLE." thing. ;-p
This just convinces me that, in the absence of any other data, males of any species will gravitate towards boobies and/or waist lines.
This is not in any way a compliment or insult toward my testosterone-enabled friends. .... She is a zombie queen bent on destroying life as we know it.
If you find her core to offset her general tendency toward torture and death then... all the power to yah!
Klaudandus Feb 17th 2010 9:04AM
Any plans for the Forsaken to acquire more land... for strategic sheep purposes?
Zrob Feb 17th 2010 10:26AM
I dunno, while it is the middlebrow option to go for cheap shots on Blood Elves, the fact that she is from Silvermoon kinda made the whole thing fall flat for me.
Al Feb 17th 2010 11:53AM
She was from Silvermoon. Since then, they've abandoned most of what made the High Elves great, and become broken-down junkies who'll do anything for a fix.