Robin Torres writes WoW, Casually for the player with limited playtime. Of course, you people with lots of playtime can read this too, but you may get annoyed by the fact that we are unashamed, even proud, of the fact that beating WoW isn't our highest priority. Take solace in the fact that your gear is better than ours, but if that doesn't work, remember that we outnumber you. Not that that's a threat, after all, we don't have time to do anything about it. But if WoW were a democracy, we'd win.

I'm crabby. I'm crabby because I'm sick. This snowballs into being crabby because nothing is comfortable and crabby because I'm not spending as much time completing the holidays as I would like and crabby because I can't seem to get enough sleep. I'm also crabby because the rest of my family is crabby because they're sick too. Crabby!

So this week, instead of consulting The List, I am going to crabbily give tips for playing sick and/or sleep deprived. This advice will be good for new parents, those suffering from this evil cold my family has, and those that are trying to squeeze some play in between long work/study sessions. I bet it will help other situations, too. I don't know. I don't care. See above for why.

Sleep when you can

Yeah, I know. It's supposed to be advice about playing, not about not playing. Deal. But you're not going to get better or less tired unless you sleep. Unfortunately, it's not always possible to sleep. If your kid is awake or if it is daytime in a lively dorm or you're afraid if you go to sleep now, you won't sleep tonight. So nap when your child naps, or go to bed as soon as it quiets down or whatever.

Take a walk outside

Yeah, yeah, we'll get to the playing part in a minute. But if you can take just a few minutes outside, during daylight, it will really help you sleep when you are able to. Also, fresh air, movement, healthy... blah blah blah. You know this stuff.

Don't over-caffeinate

Caffeine messes up your sleep cycle and it adds to irritability. So if you are ill and/or having sleep issues, lay off the jitter juice and substitute with water instead.

Make use of your pets

If you have a lap pet, then you are golden. My cat Thor has me properly brainwashed, so that petting him makes me feel better. Of course, if you want a cat on your lap, then getting a cat in your lap isn't as likely to happen as when you're not wanting a cat on your lap. That's where dog owners have it easier. I hear they obey. They've done studies, somewhere, I don't know, I can't find them, but they were about the elderly and sick and the companionship of pets. Apply it to your sick and crabby self and, if you can, get a pet on your lap while you play.

Don't lead anything

I'm currently listening to my sick and crabby spousal unit have an "It's not rocket science!" moment, complete with desk banging. It's just not fair to inflict your bad mood and impaired skills on a group of people. If you want to do a random dungeon, pick DPS. If you are the usual raid leader, let someone else have a turn. Be kind, rewind. No, that doesn't make any sense. I don't care.

Channel your crabby

Battlegrounds are a great idea, as long as you aren't the type to rage when you die -- because your impaired skills and your foggy head is probably going to cause more deaths than usual. AoE meat farming is another choice. Unfortunately, Lunar Festival is going on now. All that running around, particularly into the heart of dungeons? Not good for when you are sick and tired. Not at all. Mauraudon. MARAUDON. The elders should be hanging around right inside the zone. Seriously.

What is soothing to you?

Herb farming? Playing the AH? Bank organizing? Leveling a lowbie? Leveling a DK? Fishing? Not fishing? I don't care what floats your boat. Just figure out what feels good and do it.

Don't make important decisions

This is not the time to delete anything: items, characters, accounts, etc. This is not the time to respec. This is not the time to transfer characters. This is not the time to /gquit. This is not the time to confront That Guy who also happens to be an officer. Wait till you are well and rested and then re-evaluate.

Type in sick

Illness sucks. But it's also a good excuse to bow out of your in-game responsibilities. (Wow, that took me three times to spell.) If you don't feel up to grouping/raiding/any in-game commitment, just let your teammates know and do something else. But do let them know. It's just considerate.

Don't force it

Yeah, holidays are limited time things and yeah, you wanted to get that thing from the guy in the place. The world is not going to end if you don't get in-game stuff accomplished. And who knows? Maybe next year's Lunar Festival will involve less running around or added XP or something to make it more fun to complete. After all, they revamped Love is in the Air and it is now awesome. So if you just aren't up for the WoW experience, go play a low stress mouse-only game or go read a book or have a boxed set viewing marathon. Again, I don't care. Whatever.

Now, before I let you go read something less crabby (like I have that power), I'm going to make a wishlist of things that would make me less crabby during this bout of illness. Feel free to contribute your list in the comments. Or not. I mean, I'll read it if you do. But if you don't, that's fine too. I guess.

I wish that

• There were less bass in the Orgrimmar drum song. It just seeps across the apartment and past the white noise and haunts my attempts at sleep, if The Spousal Unit happens to be conducting business there.
• All people everywhere thought that helping sick children were a good thing.
• I and my family were bulletproof.
• All dungeon Elders were just inside the zone. I am aware that I am repeating myself.
• Blizzard would send The Spousal Unit a StarCraft II beta key. I prefer turn based strategy myself, but I would love to watch him play.
• This wishlist didn't just end up being a QQ list.

One more piece of advice before I go try to sleep:

Don't blog crabby

Unless you have a deadline.

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