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3-19-2010 @ 12:54PM
"He thought that everyone's lives would be better if he were gone and that they wouldn't have to worry about all the problems and trouble that he brought."I want to emphasize this. I am a bit uncomfortable talking about this- because I end up feeling like an attention whore, but I think it has to be said so people can understand. I have been there, and I don't know how many other people who are suicidal have felt this, but that is what goes through your head, truly. You think that other people are being too burdened by your issues, you don't feel like you have enough strength to do what you have to.. And I would venture a guess that the great majority of people who are feeling suicidal feel this way. But, personally, as soon as my confidant told me he would be incredibly angry with me for doing that to him and that it was really a selfish choice- well, you know, it changes things. It makes it a lot harder to consider, because at that point you *know* it's selfish. You KNOW you'd be hurting everyone else, and most people don't want to do that. Some people do. But not most. Ultimately, yes, killing yourself is really the ultimate in selfish acts, but keep in mind that if you're at that point, you may not even realize that it's selfish. You may be so in your head that you truly believe the world would be a better place without you and that you have literally no one who cares. And if you're to that point, call a help line. Or call a therapist. It's hard, but you have to do it- and have faith that eventually you will realize that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.
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